Amish Christmas Joy (4 page)

Joy looked at Caleb. “Will you?”

“Sure, kiddo.”

Joy clapped her hands and rewarded him with a beaming smile that crinkled her eyes closed. He smiled in return. It was amazing how fast he was growing to love her. That was one more reason to get her settled quickly. Another painful upheaval wouldn’t do either of them any good.

He glanced at Leah. She was smiling at Joy, too. As their eyes met, his heart gave a funny kick. She really was a pretty woman. He liked the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled.

The last thing he expected to find in Hope Springs was an Amish woman who caught his fancy.

If only things had been different.

And that was the story of his life.

Leah looked away first. “Goodbye, Joy. Be sure and tell your
grossmammi
I said hello.”

“I will.” Joy waved.

Leah waved, too, and closed the door.

Caleb sat and watched until she entered the house. After a few minutes, the soft glow of lantern light lit the windows. He couldn’t put it off any longer. It was time to go home. He shifted the truck in Reverse and began to back up.

“Daddy, stop!”

He hit the brakes. “What?”

“Leah wants you.”

He looked toward the house. She stood on the porch motioning to him. He put the truck in Park. Was something wrong? He looked around the cab. He didn’t see anything she might have left behind.

“Stay here, Joy.” He opened his door.

“But I want to come in.”

“We’re not staying. I’m just going to see what Leah wants.” He stepped out of the truck. The light layer of powdery fresh snow muffled his footsteps as he crossed the yard to her porch.

Leah’s eyes were bright with excitement. As he neared, that excitement faded. She bit her lower lip and clasped her hands together nervously. When she didn’t speak, he asked, “Is something wrong?”

“
Nee.
It’s only that Trixie has had her puppies. I thought perhaps Joy would like to see them.”

Bemused by her unexpected offer, he hitched a thumb toward his truck. “I’m sure she will. I’ll go get her.”

He was happy to put off going home for a bit longer. The real upside was spending more time in Leah’s company.

* * *

What was she thinking?

Leah couldn’t believe she had just invited Caleb Mast into her home. She had been so excited to find the puppies had arrived that she had simply stepped out and beckoned Joy to come see them, not thinking that Caleb would come, too. She could hardly ask him to wait outside while she took his child in. She prayed her sister wouldn’t find out.

Leah watched as Caleb lifted Joy out of the truck. He spoke to her quietly and then held her hand as they approached the house. Leah stood aside and let them enter.

She had placed the whelping box in the kitchen, near the stove for warmth. Trixie lay on an old quilt in a corner of the box with three tiny black, brown and white pups nestled against her belly. She pricked up her ears and gave the newcomers a guarded look.

Trixie was a medium-size dog with long black fur and a white blaze that went down her face and chest. Over her eyes and upright ears, she had brown points, which gave her an inquisitive look. Two of the puppies were marked like their mother. A third was as pale brown as winter grass, with a white blaze and chest and four white feet.

Leah spoke quietly to reassure her. “It’s okay. They want to admire your babies.”

Joy knelt beside the box with Caleb at her side. “They are super awesome. Can I touch them, Daddy?” Her voice squeaked with excitement.

He brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes. “You have to ask to Leah. Remember, I said we have to talk very quietly so we don’t disturb them.”

She nodded and looked up at Leah. “Can I touch them?” she whispered.

“I think Trixie will allow that.” She reached into the box and lifted a tiny ball of fur. The puppy mewed at having its sleep cut short. Trixie rose to her feet and stood close as Leah handed the pup to Joy, showing her how to hold it properly.

Joy raised the puppy to her face. “Oh, it’s so soft. It this Pickles?”

“Let me see.” Caleb took the puppy from her and checked the gender. “Yup, this is Pickles.” He handed her back to his daughter.

Joy pressed her close. “I love you, Pickles.”

The puppy started crying, making Trixie whine with concern. Leah said, “We should put Pickles back with her mother now. She needs lots of rest so she can grow up to be a wonderful helper on someone’s farm.”

Joy handed her back to Leah. Trixie nosed her pup and licked her as Leah replaced her with her littermates. Joy looked at Leah. “Pickles’s mommy will take good care of her. She won’t run away and leave her to be scared.”

Leah exchanged a poignant look with Caleb. They were both thinking the same thing. Joy was referring to her own mother’s actions. Caleb put an arm around her. “No, Trixie is going to take good care of all her puppies.”

Joy pushed his arm away and looked around the kitchen. “Where is their daddy?”

Leah knelt beside her. “His name is Duncan. He lives on a sheep farm not far from here with his master.”

Joy frowned. “Does he ever come to visit his kids?”

Leah smothered a smile. “They were only born today. I’m sure he’ll be by when he hears the news.”

“He better come. He shouldn’t be a deadbeat dad. My friends Jenny and Kala have deadbeat dads.”

Puzzled, Leah said, “What does that mean?”

Caleb rose to his feet. His demeanor changed as he squared off, almost as if he expected a fight. “A deadbeat dad is a man who doesn’t take responsibility for his children, doesn’t visit them or help support them.”

She rose, too, as the past came rushing in to spoil the moment. “Your
Englisch
world must be a sad place if such a thing is common there.”

Caleb took Joy’s hand. “It can be sad. It can be wonderful, too, just like here. Say goodbye to the puppies and thank Leah for letting you see them. We have to get going.”

“Thank you. Take good care of Pickles. I like her the best.”

Leah spoke before he made it out the door. “The school board is meeting next Thursday evening at Eli Imhoff’s home. You are welcome to come and speak with them.”

“All right.” He didn’t say anything else.

Leah closed the door as the pair left, and watched through the kitchen window as they got into Caleb’s truck. Rarely had she been so torn about what her course should be.

If she aided his daughter to become Amish, was she helping him avoid responsibilities to a child for a second time?

He genuinely cared about Joy. She saw it in the way he touched his daughter and in the way he spoke to her. He was trying hard to do the right thing.

Why hadn’t he given that kind of care and attention to her sister and their unborn child?

Could a man change that much?

With God, anything was possible. If Caleb had changed, why continue to deny he was David’s father? He no longer had an obligation to marry her sister or take care of David. Admitting the truth wouldn’t change anything except to free his soul from the burden of his lie. It didn’t make sense.

Perhaps he was too prideful to admit the truth. That she could believe, yet it was too simple an answer. There had to be more. Something was holding Caleb apart from the Amish community and from his family. Something painful. What was it?

Chapter Four

C
aleb turned his truck onto the narrow dirt lane leading to his childhood home and stopped. It was almost dark. A crimson band of clouds in the west marked the end of the day and a new start to Joy’s life.

Up ahead, a large two-story white farmhouse stood nestled into the slope of a hill. It was backed by a thick stand of trees. Their branches were bare now, a mat of dark lines scratching against the bloodred sky. His mother’s laundry hung freeze-drying in the winter air from the clothesline at the side of the house. White sheets, blue dresses, blue work shirts, black aprons and dark denim pants. The color palette was the same as it had been throughout his childhood.

He’d thought he was prepared to come back, but he wasn’t. A rush of emotions and memories hit him like a truck and then parked on his chest, making it hard to breathe. Scenes from the wonderful years of his youth and the heartbreaking months before he left flickered through his mind like old movie clips.

Working in the fields with his father, driving a team of mules for the first time. Hot summertime days spent shucking corn, followed by a dip in the cool river with his brother. His mother, calling everyone in to eat the most wonderful meals. His father, bowing his head in prayer. They were good memories.

Then there were the not-so-good memories. The wreck that scarred Rhonda. The bitter arguments with his parents during his
rumspringa,
his teenage years, when he tried to sample all that wasn’t Amish. He was introduced to Valerie during that time at a friend’s house in Cleveland. She was quite simply the most exciting woman he’d ever met. To remain Amish or to go out into the English world became a real question in his mind for the first time.

Then Rhonda Belier’s accusation that he was the father of her unborn babe changed everything. No matter how he denied it, his family expected him to do the right thing and marry her. Nothing he said made any difference until the night he flatly refused to marry her in front of both their families. Leah had been there, but he’d barely noticed her in the room. How did she remember that night? He kept begging Rhonda to admit the truth, but her silence had condemned him. It was the worst night of his life.

What followed was an unofficial shunning by his father. For days, Ike Mast acted as if Caleb wasn’t present. He was waiting for a confession that his son couldn’t make. Caleb wouldn’t take the blame. Not this time. As painful as his father’s shunning had been, it was Wayne’s refusal to believe Caleb that had finally driven him away.

He shook off the disturbing images from his past and looked around. This stretch of farmland amid the gentle rolling hills of Ohio was, and always would be, home. Too bad it wasn’t where he belonged.

What would his life have been like if he had stayed? He couldn’t imagine bending far enough to fit into the mold he had been expected to fill.

If he had married Rhonda, Leah would be married to Wayne and not teaching school. She might have children of her own by now. She would make a good mother. She certainly had a way with Joy.

Why hadn’t she married? Was her love for Wayne so strong that she couldn’t care for another? He hoped that wasn’t the case. Watching the man she loved marry her sister couldn’t have been easy. What was their relationship like now? Did Wayne love his wife and the child that wasn’t his? What must that be like?

Caleb rubbed a hand over the stubble on his cheeks. His actions had affected far more people than he knew. Leaving had seemed like his only option, but had it been a mistake?

Joy, on the front seat beside him, stretched to see over the dashboard. Was he making another mistake bringing her here? He could turn around now and find a job somewhere, working on an oil rig that wasn’t a hundred miles out in the Gulf. He could be home every night. There had to be someplace they could belong and make a go of it.

Even as the thought came to him, he realized Joy hadn’t been happy since she had come to him. This was his last hope.

She pointed off to the side. “I see tepees. Lots of them.”

The field on the left-hand side of the lane had shocks of cornstalks stacked to provide winter feed for the animals. The long lines of bundles stretched in straight rows across the twenty-acre field. It was hot, itchy work in the summer, piling the stalks together and tying the tops so they would cure properly and not blow over in the wind. He didn’t miss that job.

“They aren’t tepees, but they do look like them. They’re cornstalks.”

“They don’t look like corn.”

“They don’t?”

“No, corn is yellow and it comes from a can.”

He smiled. She had a lot to learn about living on a farm. He hadn’t prayed much in the past nine years, but he silently sent up a plea now.
Please, Lord. Let this be the right decision for her.

He drove down the lane and stopped in front of the house. A buggy with a black horse in harness stood at the front gate. Did it belong to his folks or did they have company?

For Joy’s sake, he didn’t want his reunion to occur in front of strangers. He considered driving away, but the front door opened and his mother came out. She stood on the steps, watching him.

He looked at his daughter. There had been so much upheaval in her life. Was he doing the right thing by bringing her here? He couldn’t manage on his own. He had tried and failed miserably. He had to believe this was the right thing. “Are you ready to meet your grandparents?”

She shrank back in the seat. “What if they don’t like me?”

“They will love you.”

“What if they laugh at me or call me stupid?”

He took her chin in his fingers and tilted her face toward him. “I know this is very hard for you. I wish things were different, but they aren’t. Do you see that woman standing in the doorway? She is your grandma. I’m one hundred percent certain that she will never laugh at you, never make fun of you. She will love you with her whole heart and soul.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. She’s waiting to meet you. Are you ready?”

“I guess.”

“Then I guess I’m ready, too.” That was a lie. Petrified was closer to the truth.

Opening the truck door, he stepped out. His mother came rushing toward him. Behind her, he saw his father looking on from the doorway. Ike Mast did not rush out. He turned away and went back inside. Caleb swallowed the hurt. It was what he had expected.

His mother’s steps faltered as she drew near. Her hands were clenched tightly together in front of her. Her eyes searched his face. “Caleb, is it really you?”

He was stunned to see how much she had aged. A black prayer
kapp
covered her gray-streaked hair. She wore a black apron over a blue dress like the ones on the clothesline. She hadn’t bothered to put on a coat.

“
Ja, Mamm,
it’s me.” His throat closed with emotion. He couldn’t say another word. None was needed. With a glad cry, she launched herself at him and threw her arms around him.

“
Mein sohn es
home.
Gott
be praised.”

He held her for a long moment as he struggled to regain his composure. She was happy to see him now, but he was going to break her heart all over again when he left. He choked back tears and pulled away.

“
Mamm,
I have someone who wants to meet you. This is my daughter, Joy. Did you get my letter about her?”

His mother dabbed her tears away with the corner of her apron. “
Ja,
I did. Welcome to our home, Joy. My name is Maggie, but you can call me
Mammi.
I’m so happy to meet you.”

“Are you really my
grossmammi?
”

His mother’s eyes brightened. “So your father has taught you some Pennsylvania Dutch. That’s
goot.
”

“He didn’t teach me. Leah taught me.”

He caught the worried glance his mother flashed him. “You have spoken with Leah?”

“We met in town.” He looked down at his daughter. “She’s looking forward to having Joy come to her school.”

“Leah is a kind woman. Your brother and his wife are inside. I thought you should know that.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Then it really is a family reunion.”

“I have not told Wayne that you are returning. He doesn’t know about Joy, either.”

“Did you tell Father?”

“Ja.”

Caleb straightened and took Joy by the hand. “Then we should go in.”

His mother nodded and walked quickly back to the house. He followed more slowly. As they reached the door, Wayne blocked their way. A thunderous expression darkened his face. “There is nothing here for you. Go back where you came from.”

“Wayne, please.” Maggie’s gaze darted between her sons.

“Shame on you, Mother. How could you do this to us? Rhonda, David, we are going home.” He stood aside. His wife and son hurried out the door. The boy stared at Caleb with wide, curious eyes. Rhonda didn’t even look. She kept her face down as she rushed past him, one hand covering her scarred cheek. Wayne followed close behind them.

Caleb caught his brother’s arm and pulled him to a stop. He whispered, “Have you told her the truth?”

Wayne pushed him away. “There is nothing to tell. You are not welcome.”

Caleb stepped aside. Joy clung to his leg, hiding her face. He placed a reassuring hand on her head. “Wayne, can we at least be civil to each other? For Mother’s sake if not for our own.”

Wayne stood at the gate as his wife and son climbed in the buggy. “‘Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?’
2 Corinthians
6:14.”

“I remember the passage.”

“Do not trouble me or mine. We do not know you.” With that, he strode to the buggy, climbed in and quickly drove away.

“What did you expect, Maggie?” Caleb’s father asked from the doorway. “You should have told them Caleb was coming. You should have given them a chance to prepare.”

“
Mamm
didn’t know I would arrive today.”

“I planned to tell Wayne and Rhonda tonight, that’s why I asked them to come over, but then it was too late. Caleb was already here.”

Ike stepped back from the door. “Come inside. We’re letting all the heat out.”

Maggie went in. Caleb picked up Joy and followed her. His father closed the door behind them.

The warmth of the kitchen was a welcome relief from the chill outside. The smell of the evening meal lingered in the air. His mother had been baking bread. There were five loaves lined up on the counter. The delicious aroma was enough to make Caleb’s stomach rumble. Three animal crackers didn’t make for a substantial supper.

Ike looked at Joy. “Who have we here?”

Caleb braced himself. “This is my daughter, Joy.”

“And where is your wife?”

He met his father’s steely look without flinching. “I’m not married.”

Ike’s lips thinned with displeasure. He gathered himself and managed a smile for Joy. “Welcome to our home, Joy. I’m Ike Mast, your
daadi,
your grandfather.”

She looked at Caleb and whispered, “Is he like Nana’s Jake?”

“No, honey, he’s your real grandfather. He’s much nicer than Jake.”

Caleb set her down. She gave Ike a tentative smile. “Your house smells good.”

He chuckled. “I reckon it’s your grandma’s cooking that smells good. Are you hungry?”

She nodded. He tipped his head toward the large wooden table. “Have a seat and Maggie will fix you something to eat.”

“You mean
Mammi,
” she corrected him as she climbed on a chair.

“
Ja,
your
mammi.
You know some of our speech. That is
goot.
Good.”

“What is
ja?
”

“
Ja
means yes,” Caleb explained.

“
Ja
is yes. Good is
goot.
” Joy nodded vigorously, making her straight blond hair swish across her face. She pressed it back with both hands.

Ike looked Caleb up and down. He nodded toward the table. “You look like you could use some of your mother’s cooking. You’re skin and bones.”

The tension holding Caleb upright drained away, leaving him weak and shaken. To be invited to sit at the table with his father was more than he’d hoped for. He had to clear his throat of a lump the size of Texas before he could speak.
“Danki.”

Joy held out her hand. “Sit by me, Daddy.”

Maggie was grinning widely. “He can’t, child. This is the women’s side of the table. He must sit across from us. I will sit by you as soon as I get some food on. Husband, would you like something?”