Amish Christmas Joy (9 page)

“You don’t have to put yourself between my brother and me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She didn’t want him thinking she had his interest at heart. Maybe she did, but she wasn’t ready to admit it. Certainly not to him.

“You wanted me to know Wayne wasn’t coming to the cookie exchange so that I could come. I don’t want you to feel you have to take sides.”

“I’m not.”

“Then I’m glad you invited me. I’ll be there.” His voice grew warm and her pulse sped up.

She clenched her hands together to hide her growing jitters. “Joy will enjoy it.”

“I will, too, if you are going to be there.”

She stared at him in speechless shock.

He seemed to realize he’d gone too far. “Thanks again for being kind to Joy and including her. It helps knowing she will have a friend in you when I’m gone.”

She gathered her scattered thoughts. “I wish you would reconsider that decision.”

“Do you?”

He took a step closer. She didn’t back away. His gaze softened. “Do you really want me to stay, Leah?”

Chapter Eight

C
aleb’s low, husky voice caused Leah’s breath to catch in her throat. His nearness sent her pulse racing. Thick tension filled the air. His eyes held an emotion she didn’t understand, but it pulled at her, making her want to move closer to him.

She had an overwhelming desire to lay her hand upon his cheek and study him until the riddle was solved. What would his skin feel like? She could imagine the rough texture of his whiskers, the heat that would warm her palm and spread through her body.

His lips were slightly parted as he gazed at her. When he kissed, would they be soft and inviting or hard and demanding? If she moved a step closer, would she discover the answer?

The boldness of her thoughts shocked her. She came to her senses and looked away to break the attraction growing between them. “I’m only thinking of Joy. She needs you to stay.”

He moved back a pace. She sensed his disappointment. “Fair enough. Don’t let your cookies burn.”

He climbed into his father’s buggy and gathered the reins. She took a step toward him, wanting him to stay longer, but she didn’t know what to say.

Why did he confuse her this way? She was a level-headed person. She never flustered easily. So why was she flustered now?

He gave her a wry smile, as if he understood something she didn’t. He clicked his tongue to set the horse in motion and drove away. She stood staring after him until the cold made her shiver.

She returned to the house to find her friends watching her with wide eyes. No one said anything. Finally, she asked, “What?”

“Caleb Mast has grown into a
gutguckich
fellow.” Joann went back to studying the recipe book.

“A very good-looking man, indeed,” Sarah agreed. “I liked him and his darling daughter.”

“Do you think he means to stay among us?” Rebecca asked.

“I don’t think so.” Leah closed the door. She didn’t feel right sharing Caleb’s plans with her friends. They might not look so kindly upon him if they knew he intended to leave Joy with his parents and go back to his
Englisch
life.

Although why she should wish to protect him was a mystery to her. One she didn’t care to examine too closely. Not with so many prying eyes watching her.

Rebecca smiled softly. “My Gideon did not know he wished to return to us until he came for my quilt auction.”

Two years ago, the community had come together and held a quilt auction to raise money for a surgery that would restore Rebecca’s sight. Gideon learned of his lost love’s plight and returned to help. Leah was happy to stop talking about Caleb. “You mean Gideon didn’t know he wanted to return until he saw
you
at the quilt auction.”

Rebecca shrugged. “If I was the tool used to nudge Gideon back to God, I’m happy I was part of His plan. God moves in mysterious ways, you know. We all have a part in His wondrous design though we may never know what that is.”

Leah went to the stove, picked up her hot pad and opened the oven to check on her cookies. They needed another minute or two. She closed the door and put the hot pad aside. Was she part of some plan to help Caleb return to their community? It was hard to imagine a more unlikely scenario.

“Let’s try this recipe for macaroons.” Joann stabbed the page she was studying.

“Do we have all the ingredients it calls for?” Sarah leaned over to read it.

Joann looked at Rebecca. “I think I put a can of sweetened condensed milk in with the things I brought. Would you check and see if it’s in that box on the counter?”

Rebecca came to stand beside Leah. She glanced into the box and said, “Yes, we have some.”

Leah looked down at the oven. “They aren’t ready yet.”

“I guessed as much.” Rebecca lowered her voice. “When I was blind, I spent a lot of time listening to people and reading what they thought in the tone of their voices. Now that God has seen fit to restore my sight, I spend a lot of time watching people.”

“And?” Leah shifted uncomfortably.

“I see and hear something between Caleb Mast and you.”

“You are mistaken.” Leah opened the oven door again. The cookies still weren’t ready. She closed the door with a bang.

“If you say so, I must accept that. Just remember that lying is a sin.”

Leah yanked open the oven door and pulled out the cookie sheet anyway. “He’s not one of us. He turned his back on his family and cast aside his faith. How could I have any feelings for a man like that except pity?”

The hot tray of cookies slipped sideways and she burned her fingers when she tried to save it. The pan clattered to the floor, sending cookies tumbling across her kitchen. Dropping the sheet, she brought her stinging finger to her mouth.

Her friends rushed to help. Sarah and Joann cleaned up while Rebecca pulled Leah to the sink and ran cold water over her hand.

The pain was just punishment for her lie. It wasn’t pity that made her heart race when Caleb was near.

What was wrong with her?

* * *

Caleb slapped the reins against the horse’s rump to speed him up. No matter how fast Bobby trotted, he couldn’t outrun Caleb’s humiliation. He had made a fool of himself. There was no way around it.

Had he really expected Leah to say what he wanted to hear? That she wished he would stay for her.

Of all the women in the world, why did it have to be Leah Belier who turned him inside out? When he was close to her, his brain shut off and his emotions took over. She made him feel breathless, like a love-struck kid with his first crush.

Caring about her wasn’t the problem. The consequences of pursuing her would be disastrous. For both of them. He had to get himself in hand. There couldn’t be anything between them. She would never leave the Amish, and he couldn’t stay.

Besides, Leah wasn’t interested in him. Her interest was in Joy, not in Joy’s wayward father.

“Do you want a cookie?” His daughter held the napkin toward him.

“Thanks.” He selected one and took a bite. It was delicious. Of course Leah had to be a good cook, too. Good with kids, good with dogs, the only thing she wouldn’t be good with was having Caleb Mast as a suitor.

He sat up straight.
Suitor
was a strong word. Was he really contemplating a relationship with her? He had to be out of his mind.

Joy sighed heavily. He glanced her way. “What’s the matter, kiddo?”

“I’m tired. Why can’t we drive places in the truck? We could be home by now.”

“I thought you liked riding in the buggy. I’m using it out of respect for my parents. They believe that cars are worldly things. While we are staying with them, it’s only polite to honor what they believe, even if I don’t think that way myself.”

“Are we going home to Texas soon? Mama might come see me for Christmas. She did last year.”

How long would she hold on to that wish? Was it wrong for him to hope she would forget about Val and her life before coming to Hope Springs? “Your mama can come and see you here if she wants. I left word with Jake so she knows where we’re staying.”

“I don’t think she can find me here. I don’t think she likes me anymore.”

“Your mother loves you and she always will.” He hoped it wasn’t a lie.

“Are Grandpa and Grandma really poor?”

That was an abrupt change of subject. “No. They just believe in living a simple life.”

“Is Leah poor?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Grandpa, Grandma and Leah don’t have any Christmas decorations up. They don’t have a tree or stockings hung. Nana said that sometimes poor people can’t afford a Christmas tree.”

How did he explain Amish reasoning to an eight-year-old who couldn’t grasp complex ideas? “That’s not the reason my parents and Leah don’t have a tree. They believe in celebrating the true meaning of Christmas, which has to do with the birth of Christ.”

“The baby in the manger. I heard that story.”

“Good. I’m glad.” At least she’d had some exposure to the faith that was so important to the Amish community he hoped she could join. He should have explored the topic sooner.

“Do you think Santa Claus is going to be able to find me way out here?”

He hadn’t given a single thought to how he should celebrate Christmas with her. Add another item to the list of things that made him a lousy parent. How would she react to the customs that were so very different from the ones she had grown up knowing?

“Joy, Santa Claus doesn’t come to Amish homes.”

“Why not? Are the Amish bad?”

“Of course not. Santa Claus doesn’t come to Amish homes because he knows that the Amish don’t need him to help celebrate the birth of Jesus.”

“But I’m not Amish. I’ve been good. He’s going to bring me presents, isn’t he?” She sounded worried.

He quickly sought to reassure her. “There will be presents for you, Joy. They won’t be fancy presents, and Santa won’t bring them. Your grandpa, grandma and I will get them for you.”

“How will you know what to get? Santa always knows and picks just the right presents, even if I don’t tell him.”

Was now the time to tell her that Santa was a myth? He decided that could wait. The poor kid was already being inundated with changes. Once she was older and came to understand the true meaning of Christmas, she would set aside her childish notions.

“We’ll manage. Trust me. You’re going to have a wonderful Christmas season full of all kinds of new things. Why, we are going to the cookie exchange in a few days. We’ll take a pail with us and fill it up with all kinds of yummy cookies. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“I guess, but what about our Christmas lights? Nana always put lights around the porch on our trailer.”

“We won’t have lights at the farm, but we’ll go to town one of these nights to look at all the Christmas lights that are up there. If it snows enough, we’ll go for a sleigh ride. Would you like that?”

“Is a sleigh ride fun? Is the sleigh pulled by reindeer?”

“It will be pulled by Bobby or maybe Grandpa’s big draft horses if the snow gets real deep, but it’s a lot of fun.”

Sleigh rides were some of the best Christmas times in his memory. His family and friends piled under quilts as they raced over the snowy fields to have hot chocolate or hot spiced cider after caroling at neighbors’ homes along the way. It didn’t matter to them if the neighbors were Amish or
Englisch.
The season was for spreading joy to all.

He glanced sideways at his daughter. It wasn’t like a trip to a fancy mall. Would she enjoy it? He hoped so.

She shook her head. “I’m not sure it can be Christmas without a Christmas tree, Daddy.”

Maybe he was asking her to make too big of an adjustment. Just because he thought this might be the best life for her didn’t mean she would feel the same way. “Let’s try it this year and see how you like it.”

“I’m gonna tell
Daadi
and
Mammi
that I want a tree. They will get one for me.”

“I’m sorry, honey. They won’t.”

“But I want a Christmas tree! I want one. Pickles wants a tree, too. Mommy will have a tree at her place. I know she will. I want to go live with Mommy!” She threw her napkin on the floor and began kicking the front panel of the buggy.

The horse, startled by the sound, veered sideways, pulling the buggy into the wrong lane.

Caleb reined the horse back into line and made a grab for Joy. “Stop that!”

She screamed, and to Caleb’s horror, she bolted out the door of the moving vehicle. He pulled to a stop as quickly as he could. “Joy! Joy, are you okay?” He looked back but couldn’t see her.

A second later, he heard her crying. He dropped the reins, got out and ran to the back of the buggy. Joy was sitting at the bottom of a ditch, with blood smeared across her face. She had her hands cupped over her nose. He dropped to her side. “Hold still, kiddo. Where does it hurt?”

“I hit my nose,” she mumbled through her fingers.

“Let me see.” He pulled her hands aside and checked her over carefully. A bloody nose appeared to be the extent of the damage. Pulling a handkerchief from his hip pocket, he pressed it to her face. “You could have been hurt very badly. Never do that again.”

Her tantrum forgotten, she struggled not to cry. “Are you mad at me?”

He pulled her into his arms. “
Liebschen,
you scared me out of ten years of my life, but I’m not mad. Please don’t scare me like that again.”

“You’re squishing me.”

He loosened his hold and looked at her face. “I’m sorry. Is that better?”

“Yes. What does
liebschen
mean?” Her voice was muffled beneath the cloth she held to her nose.

He chuckled as his fright faded, leaving him shaking like a leaf in the wind. The cold wet ground was seeping through his pants, but he didn’t care. She was safe. “
Liebschen
means sweetheart.”