Amish Christmas Joy (3 page)

Leah didn’t want to feel sorry for him, but she couldn’t help it. It was easy to see that he didn’t know how to handle his newly acquired daughter. What was the story behind his cryptic comment about only being a father for six weeks? Had he adopted a special-needs child? Curiosity, often her downfall, prompted her to remain in the truck and learn more about Caleb and Joy.

Joy opened the box and picked out two elephant-shaped cookies. She looked at Leah. “Do you want one?”

Leah held out a hand. “May I have a lion?”

“Okay, sure.” Joy extracted two of them, laid the pair in Leah’s palm and gave her an endearing grin.

Children with Down syndrome were normally happy, gregarious individuals. Leah loved that about them. “What shall we give your daddy?”

“A bear,” Joy said quickly.

Leah glanced at him from the corner of her eye. His daughter’s remark caused a reluctant grin to tug at one side of his mouth. “Is that your way of telling me I’m as grumpy as an old bear?”

Leah leaned over to see Joy’s face. “Is your daddy grumpy?”

“Sometimes.” Cookie crumbs sprayed from her lips. She handed him three bears.

“I get grumpy sometimes, too,” Leah admitted. “So do you. What made you so upset a little while ago?”

The child bowed her head. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do. Your daddy can’t fix things for you if he doesn’t know what’s wrong.”

“He wants me to go away.”

“That’s not true,” Caleb said quickly.

“I wanna go home and be with Nana. I want Mama to come get me and take me home. She’ll never find me here.” She laid her head on Leah’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

Leah glanced to Caleb for an explanation. He shook his head slightly. Whatever the story was, he didn’t want to recount it in front of the child. Another awkward minute of silence passed.

Joy sat up and cupped Leah’s face with her hands. “I’m sorry I was bad.”

Leah’s heart turned over. What a sweet child. “You are forgiven. You will like your
grossmammi
when you meet her, and she will love you.”

Joy tipped her head to the side. “What’s that?”

“
Grossmammi?
It’s the Amish word for grandmother.”

“Oh. What’s an Amish?”

Leah chuckled. “I am Amish. We are a Plain People who believe in remaining separate from worldly things and living a simple life so that we may live close to God and each other.”

“You’re not plain. You’re pretty.”

“So are you.” Leah gave her a quick hug. “But I need to be going. It’s getting late. I have a long walk home.”

“Don’t go!” Joy threw her arms around Leah’s neck and held on tight.

“Joy, stop that. She has to go.” Caleb tried to pull her arms loose.

“No,” she sobbed, and held on tighter.

“Stop. You’re hurting me. Let go and we will talk about it,” Leah said firmly.

Joy slowly released her grip. “I’m not bad.”

Leah waited for Caleb to say something, but he seemed at a loss for words. She took Joy’s hands and met her gaze. “No one said you are bad. However, your behavior just now was not very nice.”

“I want you to be my friend. I don’t want you to go away.”

“I am your friend, but I have to go home. You have to go meet your grandparents.”

Caleb spoke at last. “Let me give you a lift home. It’s the least I can do after all your help.”

Leah could see Joy was on the verge of another breakdown. She hated giving in. It wouldn’t teach Joy self-control if she got her way with her tantrums. Still, Leah didn’t want to be the cause of another episode. She hadn’t forgiven Caleb for the way he had treated her sister, but ignoring someone in distress, especially a child, wasn’t something she could do. Allowing Joy a chance to calm down might make their parting easier. “That’s kind of you to offer, Caleb.
Danki.
”

“Great.” His relief was almost comical.

Leah put her hand on the door handle. “I left a bag of groceries on the bench in front of the store. Could you get it for me, Joy?”

“Okay. You won’t go away before I get back, will you?”

“I will wait right here.”

“Put your shoes and coat on first,” Caleb said.

Joy climbed in the backseat, pulled her sneakers and jacket on, then climbed over Leah to get out.

Caleb relaxed as he watched his daughter run to pick up the grocery bag. “You’re very good with kids, Leah. How many do you have?”

“An entire school full.”

He scowled for a second and then smiled. A warm and genuine smile that smoothed the lines of worry from his brow. He was handsome in a rugged way that many women would find attractive. She refused to be one of them. A kind heart was more important than a handsome face.

“I assume that means you’re a teacher?”

“
Ja,
at Walnut Valley School.”

“The same one we attended as kids? That’s got to feel strange.”

“Not so much. Do you mind if I ask what happened to Joy’s mother?”

His scowl reappeared. “To make a long story short, Valerie and I were together for a year after I left here. One day, I came home and found a note telling me she was leaving. It wasn’t until the next day I found out she had cleaned out our bank account and left me with a pile of debts that took me three years to pay off.”

His life hadn’t been easy out among the
Englisch.
Leah found small comfort in the thought. Her life hadn’t been easy, either.

“I didn’t hear from her again until she turned up at my door in the middle of the night a month and a half ago. She had Joy with her. She told me I was Joy’s father. She went out to smoke a cigarette and never came back.”

He had been abandoned the same way he had abandoned her pregnant sister. The irony wasn’t lost on Leah, but she saved her pity for Joy.

She looked out the window to see what was keeping her. A horse and buggy had pulled up in front of the store. Joy stood transfixed by the sight. A woman and a young girl got out. Leah recognized Karen Dresher and her young sister, Anna Imhoff. Anna was eleven and one of Leah’s brightest students.

Caleb continued speaking. “My attorney helped me track down Valerie’s stepfather. I learned Joy’s grandmother raised her until her death a few months ago. Valerie came and went over the years. She took Joy with her a few times but always brought her back. The kid’s had a rough life.”

“No wonder she was terrified when she woke and you were gone. She needs stability, a sense of home and security. You are right to return to your family. Among us you will both find acceptance and peace.” Leah meant her words, although she knew it would be difficult for everyone involved, particularly her sister, to accept Caleb back into the family.

Outside, Karen and Anna were talking to Joy. Anna was encouraging her to pet the horse’s nose. Leah smiled and waved to them. Karen waved in return.

“I’m hoping Joy will find acceptance here, but the Amish life isn’t for me,” Caleb said.

Leah whipped around to stare at him in shock. “After all your child has been through you mean to abandon her, too? How can you be so heartless?”

To think she had spared one ounce of pity for him. She fumbled for the door handle, determined to leave before she said more. He leaned across the seat and grabbed her arm to stop her.

Chapter Three

“I
t isn’t like that. I’m not dumping her off the way her mother did.”

Caleb needed all the help he could get. He couldn’t let Leah leave thinking less of him than she already did. If that was possible.

As a teacher, Leah would be an important part of Joy’s life in the Amish community, second only to his parents if they agreed to raise her. He wanted Leah on his side. On Joy’s side.

Leah stopped trying to open the door and glared at him. “What is it like?”

He let go of her arm. “I put a great-paying job on hold when Joy arrived in my life. I’ve tried to give her what she needs, but my one-bedroom condo isn’t exactly set up for family living. I’ve come back where I know I’m not welcome because I want Joy to have a home. A place she will always belong. A place where she will be loved and valued.

“Yes, I’ll be leaving, but not until I’m certain she can be happy here and that this is the best thing for her. If that takes two months or twelve months, I’ll stay that long. Honestly, I doubt she’ll even miss me.”

“How can she have such happiness without her father or her mother?”

“I’m her father in name only. She barely knows me. Her mother... I can’t even talk about Valerie without getting angry.”

He drew a deep breath to calm down. After a few seconds, he said, “I know Val had it rough. Joy can go from sweet to those horrible tantrums in five seconds flat. I didn’t know kids with Down could be that way. I thought they were always happy and loving.”

Having a special-needs child had been a rude awakening for Caleb. He’d had no idea what to expect. As he struggled to adjust, he found himself wanting to shout at the people who looked away when they saw Joy was different, as if seeing her somehow disturbed them.

Her step-grandfather had talked about her as if she wasn’t in the room with him, calling her stupid and a pain. Even in the few weeks she had lived with Caleb, a dozen people told him how sorry they were that he had a retarded child. Joy deserved better. He didn’t know how else he could give her a chance to be accepted for who she was.

Leah didn’t say anything so he went on. “Joy has learned not to trust people. Especially men. Her step-grandfather is a prime example. My attorney uncovered reports of abuse in the home. Her life when she was with her mother wasn’t any better. Val has a drug problem. I believe she tried to be good to Joy, but she couldn’t even take care of herself, let alone a kid.”

“I’m sorry Joy has known such unhappiness.”

“Do you see why I know she’ll be better off here? You’ll be her teacher. You’ll see her nearly every day. With your help, Joy can learn to trust again. She’ll be cared for and loved by the Amish community her whole life. She’ll never be made to feel inferior. I want her to have that.”

He’d tried to give Joy that kind of life in Houston, but he had failed miserably. He’d thought leaving the Amish was hard. It was nothing compared to the changes he had to make in his life when Valerie dropped Joy in his lap without so much as a toothbrush. Could he make Leah understand that?

“Joy can be a charming child, but she doesn’t adapt to change well. Her way of coping is to fall down and have a screaming fit or simply run away, which she did numerous times in the first four weeks with me. She wanted to go find her mother. She had it in her little brain that her mother would come get her if she went back to Nana’s house.

“The police officers in my part of town knew us on a first-name basis. I lived in a constant state of fear. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. The last time, when Joy was found walking along the middle of a freeway, I reached my breaking point. Something had to give.”

Leah looked down and smoothed the front of her coat. “If you think so highly of our community, why haven’t you returned to us before now?”

He didn’t care to explain the complex reasons why he’d left and why he’d stayed away. “This isn’t about me. It’s about Joy. Do you honestly believe she is better off with me? I don’t think so. You believe she’ll be better off as part of the Amish community, too. Will you help her?”

Caleb studied Leah’s face as she considered his question. If only he knew what she was thinking. She looked out the window toward his daughter. Joy was grinning from ear to ear as she patted the horse. She took a step back and clapped her chubby hands together, then reached up to touch him again.

“The school board will have to approve her transfer to our school,” Leah said at last.

He hadn’t considered that. “Do you think it will be a problem?”

“Perhaps. She is
Englisch,
after all. They may feel she should attend the
Englisch
school in town. Your parents may need to plead her case and state their desire to raise her in the Amish way. Will they do that?”

“All I can do is ask.”

His mother would welcome Joy with open arms. He wasn’t so sure about his father. He had to believe they would agree with his decision to bring her here. If not, he didn’t know what he would do. Joy needed more than he could give her.

“I should tell you that Wayne is on the school board.”

“I see.” Would his brother block his efforts?

“No matter where she continues her education, you’ll need her records from her last school. Do you have them?”

“She was homeschooled by her grandmother.”

“Can you get copies of her curriculum and any test scores? Each state has different requirements. I’m not familiar with what Texas requires.”

“I’ll have my attorney get what he can and send it to me.” Caleb had already paid the firm a big chunk of his savings to gain temporary custody of Joy. Whatever it took, he was willing to do. His one overriding fear was that Valerie could get Joy back and all of this would have been for nothing.

Leah stared at him for a long moment. “What happens when Joy’s mother returns for her and wants to take her away?”

He shifted his gaze to his hands on the steering wheel. It was a question he couldn’t answer. He wanted Joy to know security and happiness. His attorney was working to sever Valerie’s parental rights on the basis of abandonment, but Caleb wasn’t sure what would happen if she returned to fight for custody.

“I left a letter for Valerie with her stepfather and one with my attorney if she should come looking for us. I let her know I was taking Joy to my folks. She knows they’re Amish. I’m hoping she’ll realize that Joy is better off with them and stay out of her life.”

“Shouldn’t you pray that she sees the error of her ways and wants to reunite with her daughter?”

“You can pray for that if you want. I won’t waste my time. God doesn’t listen to me.” Caleb had stopped praying a long time ago.

Sadness filled Leah’s eyes. “God hears everyone’s prayers. Perhaps you are the one who has stopped listening for His answer.”

He tipped his head to the side and tried for a lighter tone. “Maybe you should pray for me, then.”

Her chin came up a notch at his challenge. “I will, Caleb Mast. I will do just that.”

Joy finished petting the horse, picked up the grocery bag and came running toward the truck. He got out and held open the door as she raced around the hood.

“Did you see me? I touched a horse, a real horse. Not a pretend one. His name is Benny. He belongs to Anna. I want a horse.”

He smiled at her excitement. Taking the bag of groceries from her, he handed them to Leah and then lifted his daughter into the truck. “You’ll meet lots of horses at your grandpa and grandma’s farm. Cows, too, and chickens and ducks, but no elephants.”

“Do they have a dog?”

Caleb glanced at Leah. “Do they?”

“They don’t have a dog, but I do. Her name is Trixie, and she is going to have puppies soon. I’ve been trying to think of some names for them. Have you got any suggestions?”

Caleb breathed an inward sigh of relief. Leah seemed to be on board with his plan. While she might not like helping him, he had to trust that she would do what was best for Joy.

He drove out of town with a renewed sense of hope. This might actually work. If Joy was happy and safe, he couldn’t ask for more.

“If your dog has a girl puppy, you can call it Princess,” Joy said from the backseat.

Caleb smothered a grin and waited for Leah’s reply. She tilted her head slightly. “I think Princess is much too fancy a name for an Amish dog. She will be a working dog.”

“What kind of work can a dog do?” Joy asked.

“My puppies will grow up to herd sheep and cattle, just like their mother and father do.”

Caleb glanced at Leah. “Are they border collies?”

“English shepherds.”

The breed wasn’t well-known outside farming communities. Similar to the border collie in size and coat texture, they were often sable and white or tricolor. Unlike many herding dogs, English shepherds were used to guard as well as herd cattle, sheep, goats, pigs and even fowl. They made excellent farm dogs.

“Pete would be a good name,” Caleb suggested.

“Not for a girl dog, Daddy,” Joy said in disgust.

“Right. Not for a girl dog,” he conceded.

Leah half turned in the seat to speak to Joy. “Can you think of another name?”

Joy was thinking, so Caleb ventured a second suggestion. “Matilda.”

“No.” Joy shook her head. “I don’t like that name.”

“Okay, how about Tilly? It rhymes with
silly,
” Leah said.

He glanced at his daughter’s face in the rearview mirror. She grinned at Leah. “No, not Silly Tilly. I like Pickles.”

“
Ja,
I like pickles, too. Dill pickles, sweet pickles, even bread-and-butter pickles. Do you like pickles, Caleb?”

“I do. I like pickles on sandwiches and on hamburgers. I like to eat the little crispy ones right out of the jar.”

Joy shook her head. “Not pickles to eat. Pickles for a name. I want to call the puppy Pickles.”

“
Ach,
I see.” Leah nodded solemnly. “Pickles is an excellent name. If my Trixie has a girl puppy, her name will be Pickles.”

They’d gone only half a mile down the highway when they came upon a buggy traveling in the same direction. Caleb slowed to a crawl, unable to pass on the hilly road.

“Does your family know you’re coming?” Leah asked.

“I wrote. I wasn’t sure when to tell them to expect us.” He hadn’t mailed the letter until the day they left. Up until the moment he dropped the letter in the mailbox, he’d hoped he could find a way to manage his life with Joy in Texas. Admitting that he couldn’t was a bitter pill to swallow. He simply didn’t know where else to turn.

Leah lapsed into silence until he had the chance to pass the buggy. As they went by, she sat back and muttered, “Oh, no.”

“What?” He looked in his rearview mirror but didn’t see anything amiss.

“That was Esther Zook.”

“The bishop’s wife?”

“The same.”

“Has she changed any in the past decade?”

“
Nee,
she has not.”

“So gossip about you riding with an
Englisch
fellow will be spreading before the sun sets tomorrow. Good to know some things never change. Will it be better or worse for you when she learns it was me?”

“You were not baptized. No one must shun you.”

“Some people will think I should be.”

“Not everyone has a forgiving nature, in spite of what we are taught.”

He glanced at her. “Do you?”

“Have a forgiving nature? I thought so, but I find it is something I must work on.”

It wasn’t the answer he wanted. For some reason, he wanted to know that she had forgiven him for leaving the Amish, for straying so far from the path laid out from his birth. It was a foolish thought. He was grateful she was willing to consider teaching Joy. That was enough.

“I live in the same house. It’s past the next hill on the right-hand side of the road, a short mile after the school.”

“You still live with your folks?”

“
Nee,
they are gone now.”

“I’m sorry.” He slowed as he topped the rise. The school building and schoolyard were just as he remembered them. He would have to tell Joy to look for his name carved under one of the desks. The lane to Leah’s home came all too quickly. He turned in and hoped Joy would say goodbye without making a fuss.

Her face took on the mulish pout he dreaded, once Leah opened the door to get out.

She held out her hand to Joy. “It was wonderful meeting you. I look forward to seeing you at school.”

“At school?” Joy gave her a puzzled look.

“Your father wants to enroll you in my school. If it works out, I’ll be your new teacher. Wouldn’t that great?”

Joy folded her arms over her chest and stared at the floor of the truck. “I don’t like school. Other kids make fun of me.”

“My students won’t do that. Besides, even if you don’t come to my school, I’m sure your father will bring you over to see the puppies when they arrive.”