‘Not in so many words, no. I know she needs me on her side, but I honestly don’t see why she’s getting so upset about what Jay’s family must see as sensible suggestions for their only son’s wedding.’
Gina frowned at him. ‘Well, yes, if Jay and Erin were at the planning stages and asking for suggestions from both sides and that’s what they wanted, but they’re not, and it isn’t. As I understand it, from what Jay and Erin have told me in the pub, all the arrangements are made, have been made by them and they’re giving a nod to both cultures, but basically having the totally non-religious wedding they both want. Why on earth would Jay’s family want to interfere now?’
‘I’m guessing that Deena and Tavish
fondly imagined that, as their only child, Jay was organising a traditional Hindu wedding. I think it’s come as a bit of shock to them to discover he wasn’t. And I also gather that’s why Nalisha’s here – to use her feminine charms and wiles and do the iron fist/velvet glove thing on Jay.’
Gina looked away and studied her feet again. She was very much looking forward to the wedding. To being Doug’s plus one and sitting on Erin’s side of the Swan’s marriage room. She’d even bought her outfit. She had an awful feeling that she may not be needing it now.
‘And you think they should cancel all their plans and embrace the painted elephants and white horses and millions of sari-clad ladies throwing rose petals, do you?’
‘Hardly.’ Doug shook his head. ‘But I don’t think it would hurt if Erin accepted that Jay’s parents have certain expectations and would like more of their culture expressed in the ceremony they’ve chosen. Hindu weddings – the few I’ve been to – are so colourful and fun-filled and exciting. We could do with a bit of that life and vibrancy round here.’
‘But it’s Erin’s day,’ Gina insisted. ‘And Jay’s, of course, and no one should be allowed to interfere in what they’ve chosen.’
Doug shrugged. ‘OK, we clearly don’t see eye to eye on it, and anyway I’m steering well clear of it all from now on. Weddings are not my area of expertise, really. Been to loads, seen them disintegrate, mopped up after the divorces, and never had one of my own.’
‘Nor me,’ Gina said shortly. ‘But I live in hope.’
Eugh, she thought. Stupid, stupid thing to say.
Doug smiled for the first time. ‘I hope you’ll invite me then.’
Bastard, Gina thought, but she managed to smile. ‘Oh, you’ll be top of the guest list.’
Doug laughed. ‘You’re funny. You can always make me laugh. We haven’t laughed much lately though, have we? We’ve hardly seen one another.’
She waited for him to
add that he’d missed her, but it didn’t come.
‘No. Well, we’re both busy and –’
‘We’ve always been busy.’ Doug pushed his hair away from his eyes. ‘It never stopped us spending time together before, did it?’
Gina shook her head. She’d washed her hair specially that morning, so that it would curl to her shoulders and bounce and shine in the sun. Doug had once said he loved her hair because it was all free and wild and messy and reminded him of the summer girls of his youth.
She’d worn the denim skirt and the pin-tucked broderie anglaise top for the same reason.
Sad cow.
She leaned forwards slightly. The marbles rattled in their box and the kaleidoscope dug into her bare thigh. ‘So, are you saying –?’
‘I’m not saying anything. Just stating a fact. We seem to have drifted a bit, that’s all. I certainly didn’t expect to see you in here today.’
‘Well, you haven’t been in the Merry Cobbler for ages, so I thought one of us should make the effort to catch up. Oh, I’m not stalking you,’ she said, hoping that the words sounded jokey, fearing that they didn’t. ‘If you don’t want to see me any more just say. I mean, of course, you’ll still
see me
because obviously we live and work opposite one another, but if you don’t want to go out with me
any more, then please tell me.’
Jesus, she thought, now I’m not only babbling but I sound as if I’m about fourteen.
She swallowed. ‘What I really mean is, I hate the way you seem to be avoiding me recently.’
‘I’m not really avoiding you.’ Doug sighed, pushed away the glassware, the price tickets and the marker pen, and looked at her. ‘It’s not you –’
‘Oh, please’ Gina glared at him. ‘Not the “it’s not you, it’s me” rubbish. We’re both too old for that sort of crap.’
‘But it is me. I don’t know what I want. Never have. Well, except this place. This place and an easy life.’
‘Without me in it?’ Gina felt the icy knot of fear and pending heartbreak rise from her stomach to settle painfully somewhere beneath her ribs. ‘That’s OK. You don’t need to say any more. It would have been nice to know sooner, that’s all.’
‘Gina.’ Doug stood up. ‘You’re a really great girl. We’ve had some good times. But … but …’
‘But it’s over.’ Gina stood up too, making the rocking chair squeak backwards and forwards and sending the teddy bear slumping sideways. ‘That’s all I needed to hear.’
‘No, it’s not like that at all. I’m just rubbish at relationships. And I think we both want different things. I’ve never wanted to settle down. I’m scared of settling down. And you want someone who will make a permanent commitment. You want a proper relationship, not an on–off affair, which is all I can offer.’
Absolutely determined not to cry or appear needy or, even worse, to grovel and say she’d be happy to take any sort of relationship as long as it was with Doug, Gina shrugged. ‘So, roughly translated, that means you think I’m desperate? That I want to get married? That at thirty-eight, my biological clock is ticking loudly and telling me that it’s time for me to have children before it’s too late, and that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a sad and single woman
running a pub? Right?’
‘No … no …’
‘Yes, yes, actually.’ Gina looked at him. ‘Well, not the desperate bit, but the rest, yes. And what’s so wrong with that, Doug? I’ve got no family and I don’t want to be alone. I’ll be forty in two years’ time. I’ll probably work in the pub trade until I’m in my sixties, and then what? If I don’t find someone to love who loves me in return, someone to share my life with, someone I can have adventures with, or be cosily complacent with, I’ll tell you what – I’ll retire, and be as bored and lonely as hell. And you?’
‘Much the same.’ Doug’s smile was wistful. ‘Only I’m about fifteen years further down the line than you are. Erin told me I’d end up as unloved and unlovable, and she was probably right.’
Definitely right, Gina thought, but she didn’t say so.
She felt such an utter fool. She’d lived and worked in Nook Green for two years, and in that time had watched Doug drift in and out of relationships with a succession of women. Why the hell had she thought she would be any different?
‘We should have had this conversation ages ago,’ Gina said. ‘It’s a shame you’re such a coward.’
‘Gina …’
‘No, please don’t say anything else. You’ve made it perfectly clear where we stand, which is all I wanted to know.’ She headed towards the door, childishly tempted to leap up and down on the doormat and send the bell into a jangling tailspin. ‘And please don’t think this will mean you can’t drink in the Merry Cobbler in the
future. It’s your local. Always has been. We can still be civil to one another. We don’t need to be adolescent about this, do we?’
‘Gina …’ Doug moved quickly across the shop, skilfully avoiding the mountains of stock. ‘Please don’t walk out on me. I want us to be friends. I don’t want to lose you.’
‘You already have.’ Gina stepped over the doormat, feeling quite proud of herself, knowing that she would bawl like an idiot the minute she was alone. ‘Goodbye, Doug.’
‘You know,’ Jay said, sleepily stroking back Erin’s hair and gently kissing her neck, ‘thinking about it, I’d say that was a triumph all round, wouldn’t you?’
‘You’re so big-headed,’ Erin giggled, reluctantly rolling away from him and reaching for her clothes. ‘Ouf – I really should have a shower now but I’m due at the Weedons’ to price up their unwanted furniture in – oh Lord – about ten minutes ago.’
‘And I have a fully booked surgery in less than that time, so I won’t be showering either, which means we’ll probably both get a really bad reputation regarding personal hygiene.’ Jay propped himself up on one elbow and watched her dress. ‘Not to mention for sneaking off for
some illicit passion, because I doubt that went unnoticed either in this village. And actually, I wasn’t referring to the afternoon delight performance being a triumph.’
‘Really?’ Erin stopped in pulling her blue vest over her head and freeing her ponytail and grinned at him. ‘That makes a change.’
Zipping up her shorts, knowing she really should be leaving but feeling too delightfully languid to dash off anywhere, she wandered to the window of Jay’s bedroom. Their bedroom soon. Very, very soon. In four weeks’ time.
Not soon enough.
She leaned her hands on the uneven
sill and looked out of the open window.
Nook Green shimmered silently under the relentless sun. Anyone hardy enough to be out in the afternoon heat was seeking refuge beneath the trees on the green, or sitting on the banks of the brook, relishing the icy cold water on their feet. The village was swathed in a motionless haze; the grass was burned away to a bronzed stubble, the leaves hung dusty and immobile, and even the cars crawling, by necessity, on the narrow road round the green seemed to be doing so more slowly and sleepily than usual.
‘No,’ Jay said, dressing quickly in his scrubs and coming up behind her and sliding his arms round her waist. ‘Actually, I was thinking about how well Nalisha’s settled in over the last week and how great it is that you’ve made her so welcome.’
Men, Erin thought again. Jay had no idea at all.
Nalisha … Erin sighed, leaning back against Jay’s gorgeous body. Oooh, the absolutely last thing she wanted to think about right now was Nalisha.
Nalisha the two-faced bitch. Nalisha who slept in this cottage. Nalisha who was miraculously out of the way today having gone to visit some old uni friends which meant she and Jay had some time to be alone. For once.
She said nothing.
Jay kissed her hair. ‘When Mum rang yesterday, she said Nalisha told her she was really happy here. And that, according to Nalisha, all the wedding plans are going in the right direction. So that’s fantastic, isn’t it?’
‘What?’ Erin frowned, praying that Nalisha hadn’t divulged details of her
clearly unfashionable
wedding dress to Deena. ‘Are you and Nalisha having secret discussions about our wedding with your mum?’
‘No, of course not. But you know what
Mum’s like. She wants everything to be perfect. And I don’t want to hurt her feelings by keeping her out of the loop. I do love my parents.’
‘I know. And I adore mine. But I wouldn’t allow them to interfere in our wedding.’
‘And I’m not allowing mine to interfere either – it’s just –’ Jay sighed ‘– after a lifetime of being brought up with this strict family code of obedience and respect, I find it really hard to argue with them.’
‘I’m not expecting you to argue with them. I’m just peed off that Nalisha feels it necessary to be telling your mum anything at all about our wedding, and I’m just expecting you to stick to your guns.
Our
guns.’
Jay laughed softly. ‘I know. And I am. I will. To be honest, if Nalisha being here means that Mum lays off ringing
me
every day and insisting that we change all our wedding plans into some Gujarati five-week matrimonial festival, then long may it continue.’
Erin relaxed back against him again. She mustn’t think about Nalisha now. She mustn’t allow Nalisha to spoil what little time she and Jay had together. The blissful illicit sneaked hour of passion had flown by. For the umpteenth time she really regretted the decision to not spend any more nights at Jay’s cottage until after the wedding.
Mind you, she thought, as Bella had pointed out, with Nalisha now in residence, and the cottage being literally two-up two-down, with the addition of a tiny bathroom on the upstairs landing, their love life would be severely curtailed.
She pulled away from him. The desire to stay was too great and they both had work to return to. Erin managed to move away from the temptation of Jay and
the lovely view from the window.
Jay pulled her back and kissed her. ‘I love you. And, honestly, if Nalisha keeps Mum from interfering our wedding I suppose we should count ourselves lucky.’
Whatever …
‘We really have to go.’ Erin moved away and gathered up her bag and her sandals. ‘You go and prescribe worming tablets and flea sprays and I’ll go and inspect the Weedons’ unloved furniture for dry rot.’
‘And spiders?’
Erin shuddered. ‘I’m hoping the furniture will be in the house and not in some arachnid-infested shed. See you tonight, then? Uncle Doug’s going out so we’ll have his place to ourselves.’
‘Great. Is Doug out with Gina? Have they kissed and made up?’
‘Not a chance. He’s blown that good and proper. Stupid man. I’ve told her we still want her to come to the wedding on her own, or, even better, with some stunning man in tow so that Uncle Doug realises what a total prat he’s been. I’m not sure she’s going to though.’
Jay shook his head. ‘She was certainly very cut up about it. And she’s such a lovely woman, too. I’m sure he’ll regret it.’
‘So am I. And I’m sure he already is. Anyway, before we dash off – about tonight, I’ll feed you, OK? Pasta salad? It’s far too hot for anything else.’
‘Sounds good to me. Just you, me and Florence – Oh, is that my mobile? Any idea where it is?’
Erin giggled. ‘Well, as we threw everything everywhere, it could be, well, anywhere. I think it sounds as though it might be under the bed.’
Groaning, Jay knelt down and retrieved the phone. ‘Damn. Gone to voicemail. Hope it wasn’t urgent.’
‘If it was anything to do with
the surgery, Bella or Sophie would have let you know.’
Jay listened to the message, then laughed. ‘It’s Kam. He’s resigned from his job in Cumbria, forgone his period of notice and his salary, and he’s on his way down.’