Assure Her (Assured Distraction Book 1) (16 page)

Chandler folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope, and returned to the same fetal position they had found her in the day before, only this time she was not making a sound.

––––––––

“C
handler, you have to wake up. You’ve been asleep for twelve hours, and the shot the doctor gave you has surely worn off.” Peri was talking to her in a soft voice.

“NO. Leave me alone.”

“No, I will not leave you alone. You are going to roll your cute little ass out of this bed, take a shower and face the evening. Wallowing in self-pity isn’t going to do you any good.” Peri hated to be mean to her but Chandler had to snap out of it or they would have to take much stronger measures to help her. The rest of the band was flying out tonight to meet up with the tour bus and continue their tour, and decisions had to be made.

“Get the fuck out of my room and leave me the hell alone.” Rudeness saturated her statement, but Peri refused to take offense, despite her surprise at Chandler’s language.

“No, I can’t do that. The band is going to be here shortly, and you, my dear, are going to get up and at least tell them ‘bye’. Now get the fuck up!”

“Why are you being such a bitch to me? My entire life has gone freaking crazy, and you want me to play nice with people? Well, you can damn well forget it. Not going to happen.”

“OK, you leave me no choice, Chan.” She opened the door and let Janey walk through holding a big tub with towels over her shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing?” Chandler stared at the two of them

“Don’t you sass me, little girl. If you are going to act like a child, then we are going to treat you like a child. Start taking her shirt off, Peri, so I can give her a sponge bath.”

“Oh hell no! You’re fucking sure are not giving me a bath.”

“You need a bath. You stink. So you can lay there and take it, or you can realize it’s time for your big girl panties, and get in the shower to do it yourself.” Janey was being no-nonsense like she sometimes had to do with Chandler as a stubborn young child.

“Damn you all to hell. Both of you get the fuck out!” Chandler threw off the covers and stomped into her bathroom to start the shower. Peri and Janey gave each other a little smile and a high-five.

“Guess we won this battle, Janey.”

“She sure learned some colorful language once she left home. Her mom would have had a coronary if she heard her daughter speak that way.” Janey shook her head and walked out.

Peri wasn’t sure how many battles she would be able to bully her way through though. Chandler had been through so much, and Peri did not know how hard they could push before she shut down again.

Chandler headed downstairs after her shower. She even put on the clothes Peri laid out for her.

“OK, I’m clean and dressed,” she shouted coming down the stairs. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?” Her attitude hadn’t improved any.

Chandler rounded the doorway to a room full of those gorgeous boys of Assured Distraction. She looked them over, one by one, and felt the fight go out of her. They had all come through for her when she needed them the most. She at least owed them all words of thanks and farewell, although telling them goodbye was going to be so painfully hard.

“So what the hell is this, an intervention or something?” She gave a shy little smirked, still filled laced with grief and longing, but they knew she was going to be okay. Her life was never going to be the same but her spirit hadn’t died, and she would pick herself up and carry on.

“Chandler,” Cash started in, “we know this is rushed and you have a lot on your mind, but what we need to know is what you want to do about the band? We only had to bow out of two shows with Frission and they were on board with it due to the situation but now we have to get back on the road. So, our question is do you want to finish out the seven weeks or do you want us to void your contract? I spoke to the lawyers with the label, and they are willing to let you out of the contract under the circumstances. What we—the band, that is—want to know is, do you want out of it?”

“The band managed to pull in a roadie that was OK for that one performance but we are going to have to rewrite some music or find a replacement for the rest of the tour if you’re not ready. I’m not trying to guilt you into coming back with us unless you want to, though.” The band all threw-in at once with positive comments about having her back.

Chandler eyed each person standing in the room. She still didn’t know them all that well but they felt like the closest thing to family she had now. She needed family right now in the worst way. How could she let them down, or worse, how could she let them leave her behind?

“Somewhere in the back of my mind, I have given this a little thought. I can’t sit around here and do nothing. I really don’t have to have a job now, if I don’t want one. But what in the hell am I supposed to do? If I just stay here, I’ll go bat shit crazy, and y’all will be intervening on my behalf for sure. If y’all are willing to put up with me for the rest of my time, I think I would like to give it a try. I’m not going to promise I’ll be the same girl that left with you the first time but I will play music like my life depends on it and believe me, right now, music is the only thing I do have in my life that truly makes sense. So yeah, will you let me return?”

The entire group surrounded her whooping as though they had just finished a concert. And for the first time since leaving Vegas, she believed she might just be okay.

She wasted no time getting packed and ready to head out. She carefully tucked the letter from her parents into her tote bag so she could read it again later. She spent some time talking things over with Janey, and decided that she just wouldn’t make any major decisions for at least the next seven weeks. Her parents’ estate could be overseen by the attorney, and the staff would take care of things at the house. They knew how to reach her if there was anything she needed to handle before she got back. She hugged Janey goodbye, and thanked her for her support and care, and promised to be in touch soon. She grabbed her bags and headed for the stairs, and found that everyone but KeeMac was gone.

“Where is everyone?” she asked, looking around.

“They went to get their things and say goodbye to family. I stayed behind to ride with you to the airport.” He was a welcome sight standing there at the bottom of the stairs. The sapphire in his eyes seemed to hold a message in them that she couldn’t quite read.

“Please tell me you have a car for us and not your bike.” She gave him a soft smile and he was thrilled to see it. He didn’t know how things were going to be between them after the way they had parted in Albuquerque and his callus move with the groupies, but he knew he wanted to try starting over with her, and hoped if he took it slowly she would come to feel the same. He had messed up so many times already, convinced he was trying to do the right thing before. This time around, he was going to do the right thing according to the way he felt, instead of what he thought was right.

“No, I have a car for us tonight. The label sent a couple cars for us while we were here because they were afraid of the damn press and fans getting the news and causing problems for us. They will take us back to the airport.”

“Thank God!”

Boarding the plane with the rest of the band, Chandler wasn’t herself but she welcomed the momentum of getting back on the road to something bigger than her suddenly very small world. So much had happened so quickly she still had trouble wrapping her head around some of it. She was two-parts numb and one-part lost at sea. At least she had the next few weeks to divide her attention and hope that when she returned to Austin she would be able to make sense of her life and deal with the stuff that waited for her when she got back.

Every time she felt she was about to fall apart again, Keeton was there, holding her hand, offering her a shoulder, taking her silently into his arms and just holding her as if he sensed her fragile composure on the verge of collapse. Chandler acknowledged in only the passive sense of knowing that there’s an unwavering strength standing on the periphery, trusting that a stronger presence will catch you if you fall. Chandler had never been one to lean on anyone. An only child and prodigy, as she was, she spent a great deal of her time alone, focused on doing things on her own. But now, in her depression-laden state, she was often not aware of just how willingly she gone into those strong arms, seeking comfort and contact.

KeeMac’s attentiveness didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the band. Only he and Peri knew nothing had happened when he’d stayed at the house with Chandler, but the rest of the band took notice of how KeeMac cared for their fragile, young female member, questioning glances at what seemed to be a budding relationship. Ryan seemed especially wary since he’d caught Keeton sneaking a sleeping Chandler from his bedroom back to her bunk in the wee hours of the morning their first night on the bus, but KeeMac didn’t care. He had messed up the first time around and he wasn’t about to let it happen this time. She’d been through so much, anyone would have felt sympathy, but as much as he tried to convince himself it was just benevolence, he was beginning to realize it was something stronger that pulled at him. He felt an overwhelming need to make sure she was okay, and Chandler now seemed to be receptive to the attention he was giving her.

They sat next to each other on one of the plane’s couches, talking privately, their heads together so they could hear each other over the noise of the engines. “I’m glad Cash offered the position back to me. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d found myself sitting in that big house all alone.”

“Yeah, the band had a conference call bright and early this morning, and everyone agreed, thought it would be the best thing for everyone. We all know it’s not going to be easy because you still need time, but being alone with all that wouldn’t be healthy for you either.” KeeMac was extremely glad it had been a unanimous decision to ask her to come back. “We are all here for you, Chan. Please remember that. You are part of this family now and we want you to know that if you need anything, any fucking thing at all, we are here to see that you get it.”

Chandler was glad the band all felt that way, and she was truly grateful she had them now. “I still don’t know what to think about the information my parents hid from me all these years. What the hell were they thinking? I’ve read the letter several times and it’s still such a shock.” He nodded his head in agreement.

“I know, babe. I’m sure you’ve already thought about the repercussions of them keeping this from you.”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that, too. I could have brothers and sisters out there. My father might not be alive but if he is, I can’t help but wonder if he would be interested in knowing about me?” In her dark nights, before Peri and Janey jerked her back into reality, she had considered all of these things.

“I’m sure you have a thousand questions but you don’t have to rush into finding him, you know. He hasn’t known you for twenty-one years. So what’s a few more weeks or months? You shouldn’t make big decisions during a crisis anyway. Give yourself some time: time to grieve, time to cope, time to deal with all the stuff that will come down the pipe in the coming weeks. And you’ve got us and the tour to keep you busy for a while.”

“I know you’re right, but part of me wants to know now. If nothing else, I just want to know if he’s still alive.”

“I bet Cash could get the information for you. He knows people who can do that kind of thing.”

“You think he would do that? Maybe I’ll ask him if he would be willing to help.” Chandler couldn’t help yawning, and he knew she had to be exhausted just like he was. He leaned back in his seat and put his arm around her. She snuggled into his warmth and sleep quickly took them both.

Ryan sat across from them with Krissy and Peri. She and Peri had been catching up since their last visit. The three also watched what was going on between Chandler and KeeMac. When they went to sleep, Ryan whispered over Krissy to Peri, “So what do y’all think about
that
fucking situation with
Dorothy and the Tinman
over there?”

“I don’t know,” Peri replied. “He’s a good enough guy and he seems to care for her but he’s always been such a damn player. And Chan doesn’t seem like she’s all that experienced in dealing with pricks like he can be, much less someone who very likely will end up hurting her. I just don’t know. I’m not sure I like it. But right now, she needs something to hang on to. I just hope he’s the right guy for the job.”

“Yeah, I thought that, too. I know they spent some time alone together on the bus after Dallas, but I haven’t said anything to him about it yet. KeeMac knows I saw them too.”

“
Really?
Why the hell didn’t you tell me? Come to think of it, she never said anything to me either...” Krissy eyed the young keyboardist keenly. “I bet Peri and I could have offered her a little advice about dealing with guys like him.”

He looked at her and smiled, “That’s exactly why I didn’t bring it up. They need to figure this out for themselves. I’m sure he sees how damn vulnerable she is right now and what a dick-move it would be to try anything right now, so that might give them more time to get to know each other. She seems like a great girl, he better not fuck this up for the band before her leg of the tour is over. We need her.”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut unless I see her getting in over her head then. I’m not going to let him mess with her head though. She doesn’t deserve that kind of shit, especially now.”

“Good idea.” Pulling her in for a kiss, he was happy to know the two girls would have Chandler’s back when it came to men. He laid them both over to catch a nap on the couch putting his lips on her ear, and whispered, “I’m so glad you decided to come back, baby. I’ve missed having that sweet little ass of yours to spoon against at night.” He pulled her in tight with his arm wrapped around her waist loving the feel of her against his growing erection. When his hand slid up under her top and caressed the soft skin of the underside of her breast, he was sure her decision to join them was the best idea ever.