“
It’s okay,” he said, though I could tell it wasn’t. “Do
you
mind telling me what’s up though? I don’t really like Charlotte’s version.”
I nodded my head, and although I was sure he saw it I still whispered, “Yes.”
I handed him his bribe, and he took my now free hand and pulled me deeper into the cellar. The way Nicholas was totally comfortable with our current surroundings made me realize he must come here a lot more than I had originally thought. Or he never quit coming here, as I had stopped so long ago. He knew this place blind-folded.
From what I could recall, the cellar was about fifteen feet deep and ten feet wide. Built of planks of wood and recessed in a mound of earth. We were surely near the far back end now. Nicholas slowed and gently tugged on my hand in an indication to sit.
It surprised me when I sat that it wasn’t dirt beneath my jeans. The texture of the fabric felt like the homemade tied quilt that usually donned his bed. The checkered patchwork of cotton and flannel was familiar to me. It was a nice feeling, being able to familiarize with something in this dark and musty place. Since at the moment, my best friend felt like a stranger.
“
So, you hide out here in the dark now, huh?” I said as I tried to make myself as comfortable as possible. I felt around until I was leaning against a wall.
“
Yep.”
“
Have you fashioned electricity to the place or is it dark all the time?”
“
What’s the matter Lil? I thought you liked the dark... and creepy places. You always go the cemetery at night.”
“
This is different. My haven is peaceful, not cryptic.”
He laughed again, but it was the same empty laugh as before. Then he was quiet.
“
So, about some light...”
He sighed deep in the darkness. “Let me light you a candle hoe.” His voice was slowly becoming normal. But would he still forgive me after I said my peace?
The grinding noise of a lighter broke our silence. My eyes adjusted to the flame Nicholas held in his hand as he moved to light a candle. The candlelight danced on the remissness of my surroundings. Once lit, he sat back down, patiently waiting, enjoying his bribe.
I looked around the cellar for the first time in years as I tried to decide what to say to my friend. It appeared as though Nicholas had taken out the shelves on the back half that we were in. In the meager light, I could barely see where they started back up about five feet away. He hadn’t cleaned up much. Though dimly lit, I could still make out more cobwebs than I cared to see. I just prayed that they had all been long abandoned by their creators. Finally, my eyes quit stalling and made their way to the sad face that was beside me.
I loved my friendship with Nicholas. He never minded the long stretches of silence that were often accompanied with me. I used to enjoy my thoughts, and the quiet. They were the places I would go to recoup when Nicholas wasn’t around. Now, thanks to Charlotte and Elliott, I had neither as a haven.
I knew I needed to choose my words carefully, to try and fix what Charlotte broke between Nicholas and myself.
I took a drink of my caramel macchiato, breathing the invigorating smell of coffee into my now dirt filled lungs, and began.
“
I’m sorry Nicholas. I don’t know what to say.” I pulled my knees up to my chest.
“
Is there someone else, Lil?”
“
No...yes...kind-of...I don’t know.” I shook my head back and forth in frustration. “
We’re
just friends, remember?”
“
Who?” he whispered, his eyes were careful not to look into mine.
I shrugged my reply. He took another drink of his bribe.
“
Please tell me. I need to know.” The sadness in his words made my heart twist in pain.
“
It’s complicated,” I finally answered.
“
Please.” He sighed, “I didn’t think you felt the same way about me, but I never imagined I had competition. Who is. . .”
“
Elliott.” I finished is sentence for him. It was my turn to sigh. “That’s the million dollar question.”
“
What?” His eyes squinted, scrutinizing me.
I wasn’t sure what to say. What was I at liberty to say? If Elliott was by some mysterious unknown way real, was he a secret? Should he be?
Nicholas was fidgeting. “Lil.”
I decided saving my friendship with Nicholas was more important than any unknown loyalties I owed to the dreamy figment of my imagination. But where to begin?
“
I’m going to answer you Nicholas.” I shrugged again. “I just don’t know where to start.”
His eyes were blinking back tears. It was obvious here in his fortress, with his guard down, how much he liked me. And this knowledge hurt me like a knife in the heart. “How about you start with how long this has been going on.”
I moved closer to him. Wishing I could somehow comfort him, shield him from the pain I was about to induce. But I didn’t know what to do. He wrapped his arms around me tight, pulling me closer. I could tell he was trying not to cry. We sat there in silence as I attempted to collect my thoughts on Elliott.
How long had it been?
Time seemed to blur whenever Elliott was around. I thought hard. Today was Saturday, and my mom had made me deliver the cookies when the new neighbors moved in on Thursday, so three days. Could that be right? It felt as though Elliott had been in my life more than a measly three days.
“
Uh. Three days,” I paused, “I think.”
I felt him relax. “Really? Only three days?” He was obviously happy at the supposed lack of time my relationship with Elliott had been going on. “Then why did Charlotte call him
your
. . .”
“
Boyfriend?” My eyes looked at the dirt floor, staying as far away from Nicholas’s gaze as possible. “I guess she can tell how much I like him,” I whispered.
His body tensed. I shut my eyes. My honesty was hurting him, but as the saying goes, the truth will set you free, and I was hoping it would work in this situation.
Something changed. Nicholas’s body relaxed, and it bothered me that I didn’t know what had caused the shift.
“
What?” I said cautiously.
“
Charlotte said that. . .”
“
Elliott.”
“
Yeah.” He paused and looked me straight in the eyes.
“
Go on.”
“
She said. . . he is. . . imaginary.”
Nicholas’ eyes watched mine fervently while he waited for an answer. I bit my lip. And Nicholas saw that even in the dim flickers of the candlelight.
“
Lil, why are you biting your lip? You only do that when you’re nervous.”
Stupid, nervous habit.
I had to say something, besides Nicholas knew me too well. Lying wasn’t an option even if I wanted to.
“
Please answer me, Lil.” His eyes looked sad as they made contact with mine. “I need to know.”
“
I know you do Nicholas. It’s just. . .I don’t know if he
is
imaginary.”
“
Well, is he real?”
“
I’m. . . not. . . sure.”
“
How can you not know?”
“
I swear he is real, but then there are all the strange things. . .” I trailed off.
“
What things.”
What should I say?
I decided I was sticking with the idea that honesty would be the best policy, but that didn’t mean I had to tell Nicholas everything. Did it? But which parts should I tell him?
“
Well. . . I was sure he was my new neighbor’s son, but. . .”
“
But. . .”
“
When I brought Charlotte over there to meet him, Gwen said she didn’t have a son.”
Nicholas’s face looked at me. It seemed as though he was somewhere between confused and deep in thought.
“
So, where does he live?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“
Is there more?”
“
Yeah.”
He sat there with his arms still around me and waited. I was having a hard time deciding on whether or not to edit out the part of Elliott giving me the opal. Even though it was the most tangible part of my evidence, I could tell there was more to it than even I understood at the moment.