I buried myself deeper. Trying to hide myself from my mind. I couldn’t seem to trust it these days.
Nicholas rubbed my back, realizing I was in no condition to talk. He laid us back on my bed, wrapped a blanket around me, then tucked me securely within the protection of his muscles. It probably would have felt comforting if it had not been the same exact position I had been in moments ago with Elliott.
I think
.
A whole new wave of tears started to gush from the endless fountains that were once my eyes. Nicholas continued to hold me tight, gently rub my back, and ask me what was wrong. It felt like forever before I could get enough control of myself to construct sentences. When I could finally force air through my mouth in the formation of known words, the act of trying to verbally convey what was making me so upset, set me off again.
“
It’s okay Lilly. It’s okay,” was all Nicholas ended up saying over and over again as I fell asleep exhausted, in the safe confines of his arms.
I slept so soundly, having been completely depleted of energy from my crying rant, that I don’t think I moved an inch the rest of the night. I woke in exactly the same position I remembered falling asleep in, huddled in Nicholas’s protective arms.
I felt so thankful that he’d decided to come and check on me in the middle of the night. I don’t know what I would have done had I been alone with my thoughts. Personally, in my opinion, I was thinking too much these days. But the never-ending enigma that was Elliott was an addiction for my mind.
My muscles felt sore after everything, and I was hungry. My stomach growled. I couldn’t recall having eaten anything for dinner. I tried to stretch without waking Nicholas, but as I wiggled he tightened his hold on me and mumbled, “It’s okay Lilly. It’s okay sweetie. I love you,” in his sleep.
I lay shock still. Nicholas had been my best friend since the day he moved into the neighborhood. We were perfect compliments. Our minds often worked as one. More often than not, we would even finish each others sentences. Why! Oh why, was he trying to ruin everything?
I wiggled again. This time with enough force to wake him up. I didn’t want to hear anymore.
“
Morning Nicholas.” I smiled through gritted teeth, attempting not to breath my morning breath on him, and trying to pretend he didn’t just talk in his sleep.
He smiled back as though he were the happiest person alive. “Morning.”
This was not good.
I was so completely thankful for his being here, but I was beginning to think it was time for him to go. My stomach growled again.
“
Are you hungry?”
“
Um hmm. I think I’ll fix myself some cereal or something. Thanks for coming over.”
You can leave now
, I thought. Especially if he kept thinking what I was sure he was thinking.
“
No prob.” He smiled again in a way that made my heart sink as he stretched. “Hey, I’ll go fix us something and then you can tell me what happened last night.” Nicholas jumped off my bed and was bounding down the stairs before I could find a nice way to tell him to go home. I sat there stewing in my predicament.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have much time to think about what to do with Nicholas, for Charlotte appeared out of the corner of my eye, letting herself in through the window. Not good. She would be beyond furious if she found Nicholas here making
me
breakfast. I had to admit, it didn’t look good. I was thankful that she hadn’t shown up ten minutes earlier.
“
Hey Harlet.” I tried to sound casual.
“
Morning Lil,” she said as she sat down on the windowsill. “How’d last night go? Looks like you survived.”
“
Okay.”
Better than okay, but worse at the same time.
There was no time to explain now. Charlotte would be mad, thinking I gave in to hallucinations of Elliott, and furious if Nicholas came in from downstairs, happy as a clam.
How did I get myself into this mess?
“
You sure you’re okay? You seem. . . anxious or something?”
I caught myself fidgeting and made myself hold still. “No. No, I’m good.” My eyes tried to casually glance around my room for any evidence of Nicholas. I noticed his shoes on the floor by my bed. “I’m tired. My sleeping was. . . off, last night.” I tried to inconspicuously drop my blanket on top of his shoes as I got out of bed.
“
I’m surprised you slept at all.”
Good, she didn’t notice.
“
Yeah.” I was too distracted to pay much attention. I was trying to keep an ear out for any noise downstairs. “I, yeah.”
“
You sure you’re okay Lil?”
“
Um hmm. I think I’ll take a shower to help wake up. Can I call you when I’m done?”
Charlotte looked confused. I was only hoping she was attributing my odd behavior to (in her opinion) me being weird or lack of sleep, and not realizing the fact that my best friend, her dream guy, was just one floor down. Finally, she seemed to assess my behavior as a lack of sleep and said, “Sure. Don’t be too long though. I have so much to tell you.”
Whew.
I appeared to have finally dodged a bullet. Charlotte turned her model legs around and was about to climb out of the window when Nicholas walked into the room carrying burnt Pop-Tarts, toast, and cereal on an old t.v. tray.
“
Hey Charlotte hoe. I didn’t realize you would be here or I would have fixed you something too.”
Charlotte’s eyes, first shocked at the addition of Nicholas, turned to rage and focused on me. I wished nothing more than to melt into the floor.
“
Oh yeah.” I tried to downplay Nicholas’s presence. “Nicholas came over to check on me, also.” It was even true. I didn’t see any reason to tell her
when
he came to check on me.
Charlotte seemed to believe the stressed insignificance I tried to convey to her, but when she saw the way Nicholas kept looking at
me
, I honestly thought she might explode.
“
What’s the matter with you, Harlet?” Nicholas asked, confused.
I think his question made matters worse. Her face started to turn purple. This was going to be bad. I tried to brace myself for the onslaught of impending Charlotte doom that was about to occur.
“
WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?”
Nothing, but like you are going to believe me
, I thought. I don’t know why I couldn’t look her in the eyes as I answered, “Nothing.”
“
What on earth are you talking about hoe?” Nicholas couldn’t figure out what was making Charlotte so mad. I almost laughed at how thick-headed he could be when it came to girls, but I held it back in an effort to calm Charlotte down.
“
WHY IS HE HERE?” She purposely directed her anger at me. It was kind of funny, that even furious, she couldn’t talk to Nicholas.
“
What do you mean, why am I here?”
I looked at Nicholas, trying to send him telepathic messages with my eyes that it would be over a lot quicker if he would just be quiet.
Nicholas was taking a defensive tact. “I came over to check on Lil, like she said. You got me all worked up on the phone last night.”
That wasn’t too bad. Then he said something that turned the conversation upside down and SMACK! into my forehead.
“
You wouldn’t say what was the matter, so I decided to come check on Lil myself.”
Charlottes eyes turned from pretty blue almonds to slits, and a sinister smile came over her face. “You want to know what was wrong with little Lilly, huh?”
I could see where this was going.
“
Did you happen to find out what was bothering her Nic?” She was too calm.
“
Not yet. I decided to make us breakfast first.”
It was quite annoying, the two of them talking as though I wasn’t even there.
“
How nice.” She didn’t look like she thought that was nice at all. Charlotte turned to face me.
“
Oh, you noticed I’m still here, did’ja?”
“
Do you want to tell him what happened last night?”
Please no. Don’t do this.
I tried with all my might to shoot spears out of my eyes at her. “No,” I whispered.
She smiled. “Shall I tell him?”
“
No,” I said with more force this time.
“
Tell me what?” Nicholas looked bewildered at the direction Charlotte’s fit had taken.
“
Please don’t,” was all I could say, plead rather, to Charlotte.
Nicholas set the tray of food down on my desk and walked over and put his arm around me. I felt so uncomfortable. Not because of his arm around me, but because Charlotte was getting angrier by the second and I was afraid of what she might do.
“
If Lilly doesn’t want me to know something, that’s fine. I trust her.”