“
Sounds like you’re doing everything right. What were you doing right before you got here? You mentioned something about drowning?” There was only the slightest influx in his tone as he mentioned me and drowning, but it gave him away. He was really worried about me.
I stopped walking. “Can we sit?” I asked.
“
Si,” Elliott said wary. How did he look at me like that? His penetrating eyes were careful as they took in my body language and the words I didn’t want to say.
We ended up sitting on some of the timeworn tombstones that were scattered among the lavender field. I sat looking out towards the starry sky. Elliott sat looking at me. “What is it?”
“
I was hanging out with Nicholas tonight.”
His hand caressed my knee. “You two are close, aren’t you?”
“
Yes.” Why did I feel so dirty? Like I had done something wrong.
“
You can have friends Lilly. Even if they are male.” Elliott’s voice cracked on the word
male
. “Just so long as
this
,” he gave me a peck on the lips, “is all mine.”
“
CPR doesn’t count against that, right?” It better not.
“
Huh?” His eyes looked me over, confused.
“
Nicholas had to give me CPR tonight.” I tried to let my words trail off in a nice, non-suspicious sort of way. It didn’t work.
“
What were you two doing?”
Not that I was intentionally keeping secrets from Elliott, I just didn’t feel right about my non-
date
with Nicholas. Elliott’s simple question was all it took to unleash all of the nights goings on. “According to Nicholas we were on a date. But I told him it wasn’t a date. But he did bring me flowers. He brought me to a secret waterfall and made us sandwiches. Then he asked me if I would go out with him, and again I said no. We ended up swimming in the waterfall, and on one of my attempts to find out how deep the water was, something happened,” I paused momentarily at the memory, “and I almost drowned.”
I couldn’t read the expression on Elliott’s face, so I continued.
“
Nicholas gave me mouth to mouth. No kissing I swear. I even spit water up all over him. The last thing I can remember before I got here was Nicholas wrapping me in a blanket.” Whew! It felt good to get that off my chest.
Slowly, I looked up at his eyes. I half expected Elliott to look angry at me, but his expression was somewhere between confused and worried. Neither of us said anything. The ever growing silence was making me anxious. Perhaps it had taken him a few minutes to realize that the CPR was Nicholas’s equivalent of kissing.
“
Are you mad at me?” I asked in a hushed whisper, the silence was suffocating.
Elliott pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. He stroked my back as he spoke. “No. I’m not mad.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I’m sad.”
I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Elliott, my soul mate, wasn’t mad at me. I still felt a little guilty about the
date
, but I also felt better that there were no secrets between us.
An intense feeling of worry filled me. “Am I making you sad?”
“
Not intentionally.”
That’s not a no.
Crap!
“What did I do?” As if I didn’t know. He is probably sad about the kiss.
“
You haven’t done anything wrong Lilly.” He gave me the look that pierced my soul. “Nothing at all. I on the other hand...” he trailed off.
“
What did you do?”
He held me close as though he were admitting murder and reluctantly uttered in my ear, “I put you in danger.”
“
How?” I couldn’t think of anything Elliott had ever done wrong. “I’ve been fine,” I added. “I’ve missed you like crazy, but fine otherwise.”
“
Lilly, because of me, you almost drowned tonight. I called out to you.”
“
Huh?”
“
I didn’t know you were underwater! I could only feel your energy intense and close. And it nearly killed you. What if it did!” He buried his head and shame in my shoulder.
I knew it was his voice I heard in the waterfall. But I couldn’t let him get all worked up over this. It was just a mistake.
He continued. “Maybe it would be better, safer for you without me.”
“
No!” I pulled back to look him in the eyes. “No. No. No.”
“
Lillianna, Miele, listen to me.”
I shook my head back and forth. “I’m fine.”
“
What if it happens again?”
“
I won’t go swimming. Problem solved.”
Elliott tried to stare me down, but I wasn’t going to budge. I needed him much too badly. “I love you,” I said.
“
Still?”
“
Always.”
“
I love you too.”
“
Can I ask you something?” I asked Elliott as I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed in his gardenia scent.
He gave a forced chuckle at the sudden change in my tone. “Si Miele?”
I hesitated. Was it bad manners to ask someone about their personal aroma?
“
Che?”
I couldn’t look him in the eye. My eyes conveniently wandered up towards the starry sky. “Why do you smell like gardenias?”
“
You don’t remember yet?” I was relieved to hear the light in his voice again.
I pulled my body back far enough that I could look him in the eyes. “No, should I?” It seemed to tug at some memory, but I couldn’t bring it into focus.
“
You should be able to consciously project and remember more by now, but something is blocking you.” He trailed off as though he was on to something.
“
Are you going to tell me about the gardenias or do I have to guess?”
Elliott gave me a mock grin. “Do you have any guesses?” I thought for a moment. “No.” I shook my head.
“
It could be a number of things, but I think I smell like gardenias to you because that was the flower that grew in the cloister that first rainy day I saw you. It was the first thing I gave you. My theory is that your brain took that first memory and tied the scent around it. And me. Scent memories are very powerful.”
I guess that made sense. Kinda? I laid my head back on his shoulder as he continued to rub my back. It felt incredibly sensual. The tingling of energy pulsing from his fingers and the magnetic pull of Elliott in general. It was the strangest sensation. But simultaneously, the best. It wasn’t a longing, a desire, or even a need. It was like gravity. I could no more float off the ground than try and be very far from him. At least when I had control of our proximity.
Suddenly, I needed to get some tips on projecting as soon as possible. Elliott was right. That was the priority.
This
was the priority.
What was the key?
“
So, have you figured out what I’m doing wrong when I try and project?”
“
No.” He sounded disappointed that he didn’t have a different answer for me. “I’ll keep thinking though. It’s probably something small. Something we are taking for granted.”
Something small? “Do you think my ring could affect it?” I had found myself starring at it more and more lately as I lay in bed at night thinking of Elliott.
“
It wouldn’t be hindering you at all Miele. It’s tied to us in a very intimate way. It can only help you.”
My arms were still wrapped around Elliott, but I positioned my hand to gaze at the rainbow stone. “How can it help?”
“
Try meditating on the ring. Look into the opal. Maybe it will help you clear your thoughts so you can let go. It sounds like you’re doing everything else right.” He gently kissed my cheek, then my neck.
“
Can I ask you another question?” The same timid tone colored my words as earlier and Elliott picked up on it immediately.
“
Che adesso?”
“
Huh?”
Elliott giggled his light-hearted laugh. “What now, my love?”
“
What do I smell like to you?”
He brought his mouth so close to my ear that the energy pulsing from him made me shudder. Breathing me in, he whispered “Rain, mia amore. Una fresca primavera pioggia.”