Avoiding Commitment (33 page)

“They don’t.”

Lexi shifted her gaze momentarily to stare
into Ramsey’s shining green eyes. “They don’t? What do you
mean?”

He smiled at her, reaching up and cupping her
chin. “I thought you’d like the surprise.”

“You mean...you did this?” she asked putting
the pieces together.

“For you.”

She couldn’t do much more than nod before his
lips touched hers gently. She knew they had kissed the night
before, but she had been drunk at that point and acting without
inhibitions. This kiss occurred because she wanted it to. It was
gentle and brief, but he sure did taste wonderful. She had no idea
how he still tasted of peppermints. She hadn’t seen him eat one or
anything. When he pulled away, she couldn’t help but whimper at the
loss of his warmth. He chuckled and placed one more kiss on her
lips as the fireworks display came to a close.

He took her hand and pulled her to her feet.
“Come on. Now we can go.”

“Shouldn’t we pack up?” she asked looking at
their feet.

“Nah. I’ll have someone take care of it.
Let’s get you back. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

Lexi filtered in and out of consciousness on
the ride back to Ramsey’s apartment. After last night, all she felt
like doing was sleeping. Her evening with Ramsey had been magical.
She was pleasantly surprised that he was capable of being
well...human. She had such a terrible stigma against anyone from a
Country Club that she had immediately thought he would be just like
everyone else. And though at times, he did play that part, and
obviously he had a good deal of wealth, she didn’t feel like that
was the main part of his character. He was able to be a fun-loving
guy, who just happened to have money, rather than the other way
around, as she expected.

“I appreciate you taking me out and letting
me stay here the night before,” Lexi told him truthfully, pushing a
piece of hair behind her ear. She followed him up the stairs to the
front door. “I guess I should probably get a hotel or something
tonight.”

He stopped and turned to look at her. “You
could come inside if you like.”

Lexi gulped not feeling comfortable with the
direction of that statement. She wasn’t really prepared to take
this to another level. “Uh...I don’t think so.”

He scratched his head thoughtfully. “Sorry.
No. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I have a guest bedroom. If
you’d like to stay here another night, you are more than
welcome.”

“Oh, well...” She didn’t know whether or not
to accept the invitation. She was dead tired, and couldn’t exactly
afford a hotel. “I guess that’s alright.”

Ramsey veered her towards the guest bedroom
on the top floor and left her to get dressed for the evening. She
changed into her own sleeping clothes and brushed her teeth. A soft
knock sounded on the door and she pulled it open. Ramsey stood
before her clad in nothing but a pair of black athletic shorts. Her
eyes traveled to his six pack and then back up. She gulped unsure
if she would be able to control herself if he came into the
room.

“I wanted to give you a proper good night,”
he informed her bending his head and crushing their lips together.
She breathed him in enjoying every bit of pressure he was exerting
onto her lips. She could tell he was trying desperately to keep
himself from going further just like she was. She wasn’t exactly
known for her ability to resist temptation. Her body was still
flush against him when he pulled back, his breathing ragged, and
his pupils dilated.

“I...uh,” he muttered pulling back a fraction
of an inch.

“Yeah,” she agreed her own breathing coming
out in short puffs.

“You know you never did answer me earlier
this evening,” he said resting their foreheads together.

“About?”

“Will you accompany me to the birthday
festivities?”

“Sure,” she said just as he captured her lips
again. She moaned as his tongue slid against her own. Satisfied
with her answer, he pulled back again.

He cleared his throat and stepped back into
the hallway. “Well, good night.”

“Good night,” she whispered closing the door
and leaning back against it.

“Shit,” she muttered to the empty space.
“What have I done now?”

CHAPTER 14

DECEMBER TWO AND A HALF YEARS EARLIER

“How could you tell him?” she asked breaking
down into tears for the second time that morning.

“What are you talking about?” Jack asked
glancing helplessly into Lexi’s bloodshot eyes.

“You told Clark about what happened. You told
him everything.”

“Lexi.”

“How could you do that?”

“Lexi…”

“I’ve been lying to him for months, he
confronts you about it one time, and you tell him everything. And
for what, Jack?”

“Lexi, please let me…”

“No! For what? What could you possibly gain
from telling him? Do you think he’ll spare Kate the knowledge of
what we did? Because I don’t.”

“Geez, Lex, can you give me a minute?”

“A minute? Oh yes, so you can try to explain?
No, I don’t want your explanations. I already know what happened.
You told him, and he’s going to tell Kate. All because you told
him. I can’t believe this is happening,” she said her breath coming
out uneven. She could feel the characteristic tingling feeling in
her fingers and lips that let her know she was
hyperventilating.

“Lexi,” he said stepping towards her, mouth
hanging agape.

“Don’t touch me!” she shrieked pulling away
from him. “I can’t believe you.”

“Could you listen to me for one goddamn
minute?” he asked finally raising his voice.

She stopped her rampage. “Fine, say what you
wanna say.”

“I didn’t talk to him. I didn’t say
anything.”

Lexi’s eyes shot up to his face, her heart
full of hope. Then she shook her head. “How did he know? He said
you told him everything. You must have told him, Jack.”

“I told you I’d never lie to you again. Look
at me,” he commanded. “Lexi, look at me. Look in my eyes and tell
me I’m lying.”

Her eyes lifted to him once again. She
searched those beautiful blue eyes for some sign that he wasn’t
telling the truth. For anything that made him seem like he would
tell her boyfriend to spare himself. Anything at all that said he
didn’t care about her. But she found nothing there. He looked as
sincere as he could get.

But how could she believe him? He could lie
his way out of a lie detector test if need be.

“I...I don’t know what to think. Why would
Clark say that if it wasn’t true?

Jack’s face had gone pale at the realization
of what she had said. In his earnest desire to let Lexi know he
hadn’t breathed a word to Clark, he had completely skipped by the
fact that Clark knew.

“He trapped you, and you told him
everything,” he finally said soaking in the information that Clark
knew...and Kate would soon follow. “Fuck.”

“Oh God, this is so fucked up,” she cried
falling to the couch. “He actually didn’t talk to you. The
conniving little...” she trailed off. It was useless to be angry at
Clark. She should have told him in the first place, and it was her
fault that he was finding out this way. How could she have let this
happen? How could she have let this thing with Jack spiral so far
out of control?

She was acting just like Jack had while he
dated Danielle. Only three years ago, she had screamed at him for
doing less with her behind his girlfriends back. Now look at where
she was. How had she changed this much over the past couple years?
She would never have let herself get into his kind of position with
anyone else.

Damn it! Why did Jack do this to her? It was
so exhilarating being in his presence that sometimes she felt like
she never wanted to leave. After the amazing night they had shared,
she couldn’t believe they were sitting here like this. Less than
twelve hours since that amazing kiss, lying wrapped up in his arms,
and here they were arguing and freaking out about the people they
were
actually
dating finding out. God, they were
pathetic.

Beyond that, she had no idea what to do. She
had come here ready to be angry at Jack for the rest of eternity,
and now what? He hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, she had been
the one to spill the beans. If anything, Jack should hate her, but
the way he was looking at her said a different story.

“What are we going to do?” she whispered
through her fingers. Her head rested in her hands and tears
trickled down her face collecting in a pool in her palms. She felt
the sofa adjust next to her as Jack’s weight shifted the cushions.
He slowly brushed her hair back several times pushing a few loose
strands behind her ear just like she habitually did.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said
soothingly.

Lexi sobbed into her hands as he continued to
stroke her hair. There was nothing he could do or say that would
make her feel better at that moment. She was lost in her own
misery.

“Are you going to tell Kate?” Lexi asked
finally looking up at him.

His hand stilled at the nape of her neck as
their eyes met. “I…uh…I dunno.”

“Jack, you know he’s going to tell her about
it. He was so angry. If you had seen him, you’d understand what I’m
talking about.”

“Did he say he was going to tell her?” Jack
asked her.

“Uh…well, no,” Lexi admitted. She assumed
Clark would tell Kate everything. If she was in his position,
that’s what she would do. Jack had ruined Clark’s life. It seemed
only fitting for Clark to return the favor.

“Maybe he won’t tell her,” he said
wistfully.

Lexi stood swiftly. “So, what? You’re just
going to go on with your life?” she asked through her tears.
“You’re just going to go back to Kate? I don’t understand you at
all. Even if he doesn’t tell her, she’s sure to find out. She’s not
all that bright, but she’s not an idiot. She had to know something
was up. Clark did.”

“I doubt she would find out,” he said looking
down.

“What? How could you say that?”

“You said it yourself. She’s not as bright as
Clark, who obviously figured this all out on his own. If he didn’t
say anything about telling Kate, then maybe he’s not going to tell
her.”

“And you’re not going to tell her?”

He met her fierce gaze. “I don’t see why I
would.”

“Oh…you don’t see why you would.”

“God, Lex, you wouldn’t tell Clark if the
positions were reversed.” She didn’t really want to think about
that. She had no idea what she would do if the roles were reversed.
“And anyway, I would never let Kate have any idea what we were up
to.”

Lexi gasped. “Are you implying that I set
this up for him to find out?”

“I’m not implying anything. Stop putting
words in my mouth. All I’m saying is that there’s no way you would
tell Clark. You’d have no reason to tell him.”

Lexi’s mouth just hung open. Was he serious?
He could find no reason to tell his girlfriend that he had been
cheating on her? She sighed heavily. “I don’t know what I would do,
because circumstances aren’t reversed, but I’d at least be smart
about it.”

“Fine. Tell me how to be smart about all
this. You think telling Kate is a
smart
decision? Well,
you’re wrong. Kate and I have been together for years, and if I
told her it would crush her.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that,”
Lexi said.

“You think I didn’t think about that? I
fucking think about it all the time. But you…I don’t even know.
Once I remembered what it was like to be with you, I didn’t want to
let it all go again.” Lexi allowed herself a small smile at his
admission. “But I wasn’t ready to get rid of Kate either. And I’m
still not ready to get rid of her.”

“But you’re ready to get rid of me?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. God, I don’t
even know what I’m saying. All I know is that I can’t tell Kate
just yet. I couldn’t imagine being the one to crush her. She would
never be the same.”

Lexi shook her head in disbelief at
everything he was saying. It was like last time except now she knew
about what was happening. She had allowed herself to get into this
position for the second time with the same guy.

Not that she had been prepared to let go of
Clark, but that seemed to be the obvious course of action. This was
something that wouldn’t go unpunished. Clark was the kind of guy
who could find a million different girls to be with, and he had
chosen her. At the flip of a switch, he could have any other
girl.

A part of her knew that was coming. It was
inevitable that Clark was going to leave her. That inevitability
wasn’t in place for Jack. But even so, she couldn’t even count the
number of times she had thought about actually being with Jack in a
relationship. She had imagined them together for so long, it was
strange to see that for the third time they had screwed up beyond
repair. Jack wasn’t leaving Kate. Lexi knew it, but she couldn’t
come to grips with that reality. She had always assumed that if
things broke apart in their relationships, that they would be
together. Not that they would be apart. She had never believed they
would be apart.

“Jack, be realistic. She’s going to find out
one way or another. If you don’t tell her, then Clark will. Then
where will you stand?”

“What do you expect me to do, Lexi?” he asked
standing forcefully. “Think about it. What would
you
do in
my place? You have this great life with an amazing girlfriend who
would do anything for you, and you would throw all that away?”

“If your life was so great, then what the
fuck is this? What have we been doing since May?” she screamed
gesturing between the two of them.

“I don’t know, Lexi. God, I don’t know. Give
me some time to think about all this.”