Avoiding Commitment (50 page)

Lexi cringed. “He got called away for a job
interview.”

“Uh huh…” Chyna said coughing into her hand.
“A job interview. At this time of night.”

“Don’t tell me you don’t believe him either,”
Lexi cried throwing her hands up into the air.

Chyna threw her own hands up in defense. “No,
I believe you if you say so, but it does seem just a little
suspicious.”

“Well, you weren’t there so you didn’t hear
the conversation,” she said trying to dispel the feeling of
foreboding coming over her. Jack wouldn’t do that. They had been
about to have sex. There would be no need for him to run off for
anything else unless it was important. That is what he had said the
very first night she had seen him back in town. He wouldn’t leave
her side for anything else.

It’s not like he had been acting sketchy
anytime recently. It’s not like he had a reason to do anything when
he had her. They had been almost too happy. She had kept him
too…satisfied for him to want anything else. She couldn’t even
think about that possibility. He said he would never lie to her
again and she had to believe that was the truth. She couldn’t let
old fears win out.

“No, you’re right,” Chyna said not convinced.
“Let’s just forget about it. You’ve had a long couple of weeks and
we’re here to party.”

Lexi took a deep breath and let it out
slowly. “You’re right. You’re always right. Let’s party!”

And so they spent the remainder of the night
doing just that. Neither thought about their worries,
complications, or futures, they simply enjoyed the company of a
crowded room of strangers. Lexi tried to keep the drinking to a
minimum, but she danced until her heart’s contentment. Her
roommates were slumped all around the room making out with random
guys. Lexi would have never believed it if she hadn’t seen it with
her own eyes. Without her own guy to be affectionate with, she
decided to call it an early night.

She realized at that point that she hadn’t
even checked her phone since Jack had left. He could have called
and she might have missed it. Anxious to find out what had
happened, she quickly kissed Chyna on the cheek and told her
good-bye.

Once she got in the cab, she pulled out her
phone to check for any messages. Her heart fluttered when she saw
that she had a missed call from Jack and a voicemail waited for
her.

After the annoying woman informed her of her
options about the voicemail, Jack’s clear voice rang in her ears.
“Hey Lex, interview’s over. It was just bs…just fucking bullshit.
I…I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m just gonna go home and
crash. I’ll talk to you in the morning. Have fun.”

The line went dead in her hands and she
snapped the phone shut. She slid the phone back into her purse
feeling dejected. Something had gone wrong at the interview, but he
didn’t want to talk to her about it. She knew that it was a
completely rational reaction for him to not want to discuss his
feelings. Guys were like that all the time. She just thought that
they were beyond that point. They had known each other for a long
time. But she didn’t want to think about any other option for him
not wanting to talk tonight. Chyna and Claire had planted a seed in
her mind, but she couldn’t believe them.

The only thing that she could think about
right now was that after all that work she had put in for the
school year, she was the only one left all alone for the night.

Somehow she wasn’t sure how this night could
get any worse.

CHAPTER 21

PRESENT

The stadium lights that were illuminated for
the occasion stretched out across home plate, through the gritty
dirt to the pitcher’s mound, splayed out through the evenly cut
emerald green grass, and further down the endless rows of
bleachers. City traffic could be heard as hundreds of cars traveled
across the series of roads and highways that mapped the terrain.
Twinkling stars were faintly visible overhead despite the perpetual
lighting that whitened the black night.

Lexi’s heart stuttered as she attempted to
compose her features. She folded her arms one over another and
leaned onto the cool, black railing. Ramsey rested against the
railing keeping his body angled towards her. His green eyes never
left her face to survey the beautiful manmade structure below
them.

“What’s going on?” his deep, husky voice
asking several things with his one question.

“I…” Lexi sighed trailing off. “I don’t
know.”

Ramsey smiled, nodding along. “You’re not
sick.”

It was more of a statement than a question,
but she nodded anyway. No, she wasn’t sick. She was coming to a
crossroads in her life, and she didn’t know which road to take. She
wanted to be with Jack. After all the shit she had put up with, he
was still what she wanted. But could she handle this in-between
time? Could she handle him being with someone else while she waited
like an idiot all over again?

“I didn’t do anything,” he stated attempting
to get all of the possibilities out of the way as to her
illness.

“You?” she asked a little taken aback. “No,
you haven’t done anything.” Of course she had thought about Ramsey,
but there was too much other stuff going on in her head that she
hadn’t allowed him much room. He was aggravating to no avail. Even
now he was much too close for her level of personal boundaries. She
could feel the warmth of his hand as it nearly grazed her elbow
resting on the railing. His body tilted forward resting a mere six
inches from her face. Such closeness should be reserved for
intimacy, but she was coming to realize this was just Ramsey…or
maybe he did want that intimacy. She cleared her thoughts. That was
the last place she needed to let her mind wander. Even though, it
wasn’t a bad alternative while she waited for Jack.

“Then it can only be one thing,” he told her.
She turned to meet his determined gaze waiting for his guess. “Jack
and Bekah.”

Lexi’s heart, which had stilled as she let
the light breeze calm her mind, kicked into overdrive at Ramsey’s
statement. Sure she knew that Ramsey had an idea about her and Jack
from the conversation at Jack’s apartment. As far as she knew
though, he had no idea about her actual involvement with Jack. He
had no idea of Jack’s hold on her. He certainly had no idea that
she had listened in on his threatening conversation with Jack.

But she knew she shouldn’t assume anything.
Who knew if Bekah had told him or if Jack had spilled the beans
about their past to him while she had been at home. She didn’t want
to think about that either. The last thing she wanted to do was
have anyone else know about her relationship with Jack, and Ramsey
was getting dangerously close.

“What about Jack and Bekah?” she croaked
running her fingers through the loose strands that had fallen out
of her bun and threading it behind her ears.

“I’m not sure, but it’s something,” he
admitted leaning in even closer to her.

Lexi breathed out a sigh of relief. He didn’t
know. That was comforting. Him invading her personal space further
was not. “You’re um…,” she gestured between them, “in my space
again. We’ve talked about this.”

He nodded not backing up an inch. “Tell me
what’s going on,” he gently asked bringing his hand up and stroking
her face. His hand trailed down from her temple and tucked a loose
strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m pretty sure the only thing
going on has something to do with you and me,” she muttered huskily
feeling her body turn towards him. His hand wrapped around her tiny
waist bridging the distance between their bodies.

“Maybe you’re right,” he whispered towards
her. His lips were so close to her, when she licked her own lips,
she brushed up against his as well. A groan escaped him with the
light, teasing contact, and he hesitantly brought his lips down
upon hers. The first touch was smooth and gentle as if he was
testing the water. His lips were amazingly soft and she could taste
the sweetness of peppermint on his breath.

Warning alarms went off in her mind. All she
wanted to do was ignore what her mind was telling her and get lost
in the here and now. Forget everything that was keeping her
stressed out and relish the beautiful moment of a man wanting
her.

Her hands moved from their place on the
railing and pushed against his hard, muscled chest. As much as she
wanted to, she couldn’t let this continue. It would end up hurting
everyone.

“I don’t know if…” she trailed off again. He
didn’t let her finish her statement before pressing his body more
firmly against her. Her mouth popped open in surprise leaving him
with the advantage. He leaned his head down and kissed her bottom
lip, gently sucking it between his teeth. Her eyes fluttered
closed. Ramsey’s hand reached up to twine around her hair, tugging
softly on the strands, and tilting her head back. He pressed his
lips firmly against her own. It only took a second for Lexi to
react and relax into him.

A loud coughing sound came from behind them.
Ramsey and Lexi hastily broke apart, straightening themselves out
as they faced the intruder.

“I figured I’d find you out here,” Chyna said
cocking her weight to her right hip. She threw both hands up to her
hips, leaning the left shoulder forwards, and tilting her head up
defiantly.

Lexi ran her fingers through her mussed hair
and smiled hesitantly at her best friend. “Well, you found me.”

“Oh no, I wasn’t looking for you,” she
announced letting her eyes shift to the man standing next to
her.

“How can I be of assistance?” Ramsey asked
politely stepping away from the railing.

“Apparently, there is a birthday going on
inside,” Chyna commented dryly. “You have something to do with
that?”

Ramsey looked a bit sheepish as he took on
Chyna’s confrontation. “Indeed I do.”

“Then perhaps you should run inside and check
on what’s going on,” she suggested. “There’s some kind of
catastrophe happening with the cake. Everyone’s looking for
you.”

Ramsey apologized to Lexi, and quickly
excused himself. He flashed Chyna a smile as he walked by, but she
didn’t return the gesture.

Chyna stalked right up to Lexi standing
exactly where Ramsey had been only seconds earlier. “What are you
thinking?” she cried leaning back against the railing and pressing
her hand to her forehead.

“Not now, please,” Lexi murmured feeling even
more confused than earlier.

“I think we should get out of here,” Chyna
told her. “You’re a mess. I’m not even sure
you
know what
you are doing anymore.”

“We can’t leave,” Lexi said shaking her head.
“I can’t leave yet.”

“I don’t know why we should stay. Now, I
wasn’t going to bring this up, but I can’t stay silent, chica.
You’re my best friend and I know you’re hurting. Jack is here with
his girlfriend and despite what just happened, I know how you feel
about him, and it has to hurt like hell. Why would you want to go
through that? Then…Ramsey?”

“Well, I don’t know what I was doing with
Ramsey, but I do know that I need to stay and see this through.
Please…for me, C,” she begged her eyes swelling in size.

Chyna shook her head contemplating the
decision before her. As Lexi’s best friend, she felt obligated to
get her out of this situation. Lexi had been there for her more
than anyone else in her entire life. How could she let her friend
walk into the fire pit? She saw no alternative though. Lexi was
determined. “Fine, but can you please be careful?” she pleaded.

After the girls agreed, they trudged back
into the club where a loud chorus of Happy Birthday was being sung
by the guests. Lexi and Chyna joined in with the celebratory tune
weaving their way through the crowd to the birthday boy. Before
they broke through, Lexi glanced up at the screen where the
slideshow had been circulating pictures of Jack’s past. Her heart
froze on the final image.

A high resolution photo taken within Ramsey’s
house this past weekend was displayed before her eyes. Jack stood
next to Bekah with his arm around her waist. Bekah’s head was
tilted sideways comfortably resting against Jack’s shoulder. Ramsey
had an arm slung over both Bekah and Lexi’s shoulders. Lexi was
leaning back against Ramsey’s chest. The signs that she was too
drunk to stand straight were already evident. All eyes were bright
and smiling. Their faces were flushed from dancing.

But what caught her eye was the look on
Jack’s face. He looked happy, buoyant even, but there was something
different about his expression than the rest of the group. His eyes
were diverted, cutting across his girlfriend and her brother
straight to Lexi. And the look he was pressing towards her was very
familiar. His eyes were crystal clear blue with desire. He only had
eyes for her, and he wanted her. Even though his girlfriend was in
his arms, he still couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of Lexi.

She glanced around the room transfixed by the
image before her. How could no one else see what she saw in the
picture? How could anyone think of including this very recent
picture with him looking at her in such a fashion? But no one else
seemed to be looking at the picture. At least no one was analyzing
it quite like she was. She couldn’t believe it. Was everyone
momentarily blind?

“What are you doing?” Chyna hissed latching
onto her hand and pulling her through the crowd. Lexi stumbled the
few feet forward right into Ramsey. He reached out and slung his
arm across her shoulder bringing her closer to the action. She
glanced from him to Bekah to Jack. At the center of the table was a
large sheet cake with blue frosting announcing Jack’s birthday. He
had both hands on the table poised to blow out the flickering
candles. Everyone was yelling for Jack to make a wish in the
background, but all Lexi saw was the way the group was entwined.
They were practically set up for the picture again, but this time
when Jack’s head swiveled to the side, he locked eyes with Bekah
before releasing his breath.