Axel's Pup (39 page)

“No. I had a choice,” Bayden corrected. “It was always my choice.”

“No—”

“The wolves in the Captivities didn’t have a choice. Free wolves do,” Bayden cut in. “Just because there aren’t any options you like that doesn’t mean you don’t still choose one. It doesn’t mean you don’t own that choice.” Axel’s knuckle was still beneath Bayden’s chin making him keep his head up, but he dropped his gaze. “Sir.”

Axel’s anger wasn’t fading away in the least, and Bayden doubted his tone of voice was helping.

“I don’t mean to be disrespectful, sir. But you said the truth—and the truth is I had a choice. I made a choice.”

“The truth as you see it,” Axel finally said. “You said your mother and grandfather were there when the cops came to your house. What about your father?”

“It was after he died, sir.”

“So that was the truth?”

Bayden wasn’t sure what Axel would want to know, but he knew he had to offer something. “When I was thirteen.”

“That was when your grandfather moved in with you and your mother?”

Bayden nodded.

“And he is ill?”

Bayden forced himself to nod, no matter how much he wished that had been a lie.

“Seriously?”

Bayden took a deep breath. “Wolves are strong, sir. But he’s in his eighties and…”

Axel nodded. He moved his hand to rest properly on Bayden’s shoulder. “She still lives with him?”

Bayden hesitated.

“Out with it,” Axel ordered.

“Wolves would say that he lives with her, sir.”

“Because she’s more dominant than him?”

“Yes, sir.”

Axel nodded his acceptance. “Where?”

“Sir?”

“Where do they live?”

A trickle of sweat ran down Bayden’s spine. “What I said about moving out when I turned twenty-one was true, sir.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I’m not really part of their…I mean, it’s not my place to…A wolf shouldn’t give out information on another wolf’s… It’s not right, sir.”

“Good boy.”

Bayden glanced up at him.

“You could have lied. You didn’t. That’s a start.”

Bayden looked down into his tea.

“You told Sal that your mother does charity work.”

“It’s not a charity.”

* * * * *

“You were very definite about that,” Axel remembered. He’d noticed at the time, it had just never occurred to him why. “You said it was an organisation that helps female wolves change careers.”

Bayden nodded. “They hire female wolves. There’s no charity involved. They all work hard—they earn every penny they’re paid, sir.” He put his mug on the coffee table, then he didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. “There are residential places, where female wolves can live if they need to. They have a special exemption from the anti-pack laws because there are only female wolves there.”

Your mother was one of the women being helped out of prostitution, not one of the people doing the helping. She wasn’t some rich woman doling out charity for the feel good factor. She’s someone who sold sex.
Axel pushed his hand through his hair as he tried to make room inside his head for an entirely different reality than the one he’d thought Bayden lived in.

“She doesn’t work there anymore, sir. My grandfather needs someone to look after him,” Bayden offered.

He was making an effort, Axel had to give him that. He genuinely seemed to be trying to offer up the truth, however against the grain it went.

“What are they doing for money?”

Bayden tensed up. The answer was obvious. Axel had wondered where all the money Bayden won went for months. Now he knew, but Bayden merely sat there in silence.

“Bayden?”

“I…” Bayden closed his eyes.

“What you said before, about a wolf thinking it’s shameful to need help from someone who—”

“They have nothing to be ashamed of.” Bayden jerked his head up. “Nothing at all.”

Axel held his gaze as the seconds ticked past.

“We never needed help. We always got by. It’s only because of the stupid human laws that—” He looked down again.

“If the anti-pack laws hadn’t forced you to move out, you’d still live at home, you’d still be part of their pack, and everything would be fine,” Axel said.

Bayden nodded.

“As things are, since you moved out?”

Bayden looked down at his hands. His words came slowly. He obviously had to fight against his instincts to force each one past his lips. “It was my fault we needed to move houses. The new place is more expensive. It’s not a great area or anything, but…” He took a deep breath. “With three people, between us all, it was okay.”

“But it would have been too much for two.”

“They shouldn’t have to struggle just because human laws are screwed up.”

“Agreed.”

Bayden studied him very carefully, no doubt searching for any sign of condemnation. Finally, he nodded. “I’m younger than them. It’s easier for me to earn money. It was no problem for me to keep paying my share. My mother didn’t like it, but…” He shrugged.

“Sometimes you have to look after the people you love in spite of them.”

Bayden nodded. It didn’t seem to occur to him that it was exactly what Axel had been doing ever since Bayden first walked into his pub.

“When my grandfather got ill and my mother had to stop working…”

“It made sense for you to help out a little more.”

The nod was tiny, as if admitting the truth was still hard for him. “It’s not their fault, sir.”

“I know.”

Bayden seemed to remember how to breathe then, but his skin was pale, his discomfort obvious. There was only so far anyone could be pushed in one sitting.

“Any questions?”

“The punishment, sir?”

Axel set his mug on the coffee table. “I’ll think about it and tell you later.”

Bayden frowned.

“I don’t punish people lightly, and I don’t do it while I’m angry.”

“Until you decide, sir?”

“There’s plenty of work to be done downstairs.”

Bayden damn near raced down to the pub. Griz was right. If the place got any cleaner, it was going to sparkle.

Axel slumped in his seat and dropped his head to rest against the back of the sofa. He closed his eyes, only to quickly re-open them. He pushed himself up onto his feet. It would be a while before he closed his eyes and saw anything other than the life Bayden had described to him. He shook his head and rubbed at his jaw. So fucked up in so many ways.

It excused a lot. It didn’t excuse everything.

Without making a conscious decision, Axel wandered down to the lock-ups. The one on the far left was half storage space, half work out area. Axel didn’t bother with wraps today. He pulled on a set of gloves and took a swing at the punch bag hanging from a chain near the centre of the space.

He didn’t have Bayden’s skill, but he was hardly a novice. His body fell into an easy rhythm as he considered the possibilities. This wasn’t a game; it wasn’t about sex. Whatever the punishment was, it should ensure that Bayden never wanted to make the same mistake again—that he’d confess any truth in the world rather than risk telling him another lie. It had to be the right punishment.

The chain the bag hung from rattled as he struck the battered leather. Bayden would take it. Whatever punishment Axel came up with, he had no doubt that Bayden would take it without a word of complaint—just like he took the bets without even blinking.

Axel’s punches slowed as he concentrated on hitting the bag as hard as possible, putting his full weight behind each blow.

It would have been a hell of a lot more satisfying to have hit Granger. Axel shook his head. If he’d started doing that, he might never have stopped. It would have taken all the Dragons to pull him off the guy, and by that time it would have been too late. There was a reason why he kept a careful rein on his temper.

A noise made Axel look over his shoulder. Bayden dumped a black bag of rubbish into the big wheelie bin in the corner of the yard. He hesitated for a moment then came toward Axel. He offered him a bottle of water.

Axel tugged one of his gloves off and accepted the drink. He took a deep swig.

Bayden glanced at the punch bag but didn’t say anything.

It was never easy to guess what would or wouldn’t be obvious to a werewolf. “I was picturing Granger, not you.”

Bayden shrugged.

“Well?” Axel pushed.

Bayden hid his hand in his jeans pockets. “I don’t know what you want me to say, sir.”

Axel leaned against the wall of the lock-up. “Tell me why.”

“Sir?”

“Why lie about it all? Why the rich tosser act?”

“That’s what you called me the first time I came here. I never said I was rich, sir.”

“You played up to it. You made sure I went on thinking it.”

Bayden looked down.

“You could have told me I was wrong. You told me I was wrong about plenty of other things,” Axel pushed. “Why let that lie stand? Are you ashamed of your—?”

“No!”

“Then why?” Axel repeated.

“I liked it,” Bayden blurted out.

Axel paused with the bottle of water halfway to his lips. “What?”

“If you’d called me a serial killer, I’d have gone along with that too.” Bayden hunched his shoulders as he pushed his hands deeper into his pockets. “I liked the way you treated a silly little rich boy, sir. I didn’t want to lose it.”

“You thought I liked you because you had money?” Axel demanded, stepping away from the wall.

Bayden stared down at his boots for a long time. “I’ve had lots of fights in lots of pubs, sir. That was the first time someone accused me of slumming it. And it was the first time anyone stepped in and made sure the other guy paid up. And it was the first time someone tried to patch me up afterwards.” He shrugged. “You were nice to me. I liked it.”

Axel shook his head.

“I don’t expect things to be the same now, sir.”

Axel narrowed his gaze. “Because?”

“Because you’d have to be a fool to trust a wolf, because everyone knows that any man who grew up on Holborn is trouble. How many reasons do you need?”

“No.” Axel swung Bayden around and pinned him against the wall with one hand in the centre of the chest. “Let’s be completely clear about this. You’re not the one being insulted.”

Bayden blinked at him. “I didn’t insult you!”

“Assuming I’d have more respect for a spoilt little rich boy than I would for a man who’s doing whatever it takes to look after his family isn’t a compliment.”

Bayden stared up at him for several seconds. Finally, he seemed to realise that Axel was deadly serious. “I didn’t mean to insult you, sir.” He looked down. “If you did want money, I could—”

“No.”

Bayden hesitated.

Don’t you dare offer to whore yourself out for me.
The only thing that stopped Axel throwing those words at Bayden was knowing that it was exactly what he’d done for his family. No one deserved to have that sort of sacrifice tossed in his face.

“I don’t want your money,” Axel said, as calmly as he could. “Finishing that sentence will only make things worse.”

Axel released him. Striding over to the other side of the lock-up, he tossed his gloves onto the weight lifting bench. He wasn’t going to be able to get rid of any of his extra anger that way.

He stared at an empty patch of wall and tried to think clearly, tried to at least get an idea of how things had been for Bayden before he threw the book at him. If nothing else, knowing how Bayden felt would let Axel know what the punishment should feel like.

If he’d been in Bayden’s shoes… If he thought that lying would have made things easier, made the world treat him better, would he have gone along with a lie? Would he have gone out of his way to tell the truth if it had meant risking losing the good opinion of someone he cared about?

Axel shook his head. When he looked at it from that point of view, it didn’t take much imagination to come up with an answer.

Shit!

“Go up to the flat. Wait for me in the living room. I’ve made my decision.”

Everything was going to be fine.

Bayden nodded to himself. He would take the punishment, Axel would be pleased with him, and everything would be fine. Bayden kept reminding himself of those facts as he paced back and forth across Axel’s living room.

Clean was good—that was another fact. If Axel wanted to take a shower after working out, that was his right. But, waiting to find out what the punishment would be was driving Bayden crazy.

The sound of the shower stopped. Bayden froze. He didn’t move a muscle until Axel walked into the living room a few minutes later, wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and nothing else.

Bayden didn’t lower his gaze to admire the view—not even while all of Axel’s tattoos were on display. The moment was important. Bayden gave everything he had to studying Axel’s serious expression.

It was disrespectful to nag, but Bayden could help himself. “The punishment, sir?”

“There isn’t going to be one.”

“There has to be.”

Axel raised an eyebrow at him. “I decide the punishments, pup, not you.”

“You’d punish a human.”

“My decision has nothing to do with your species.”

Bayden shook his head. “You said you were going to—”

“I said I’d give you my final decision after I had the whole truth from you.”

“No. I mean…”

Axel nodded to the sofa. “Sit.”

Bayden obeyed. It didn’t occur to him to do anything else.

“I won’t punish you unless I can look you in the eye and tell you that I would have done better in your shoes. That’s not the way it works—not between men who aren’t playing games with each other.”

Bayden shook his head. “I screwed up. I broke the rule about telling you the truth.”

Axel studied him for a few seconds. “Do you think your behaviour was acceptable?”

Bayden shook his head. He’d pissed off his alpha. Worse—it hadn’t just been anger in Axel’s scent. When Bayden had assumed that Axel cared how much money he had, he’d hurt Axel.

Axel tilted his head on the side. “I won’t punish you.” He held up his hand again, when Bayden would have spoken. “But I’ll offer you the chance to pay penance.”