“Yeah, I did.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“So did I.” She lowered her head sadly. “But the words just wouldn’t come out my mouth. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I would do anything for Derrick. Don’t get me wrong. The thought of going to jail scares the hell outta me. But I guess I’m more scared by the thought of being without Derrick.”
I wondered why Monica couldn’t have been as loyal to me. It hurt me to see this great woman standing by such a lowlife, but I knew I wasn’t going to be able to change her mind. She had come to me looking for a sounding board, not for someone to talk her out of it. As much as I hated to do it, I would help her stay with Derrick if that was what she truly wanted. All I could do was hope that sooner or later she would realize how bad he really was. Then I’d be right there to pick up the pieces.
“All right,” I sighed. “Let’s see what we can do about keeping you out of jail, then.” She gave me a stunned look and I smiled. I would’ve paid a million dollars to take her home and make love to her right then, but that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted my advice. She wanted my friendship. She wanted me to tell her it was all right to be with Derrick.
“You’re really gonna help me? You don’t think I’m stupid?”
“Of course I think you’re stupid. But when you’re in love you do stupid things. Trust me, I know.”
She gave me a sad smile as she placed her hand on my knee. “You really do wanna be my friend, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Okay, so what’s next? What do I do?”
“You’re not gonna like it, but you’re gonna let that Wendy woman carry the drugs up to your boyfriend.”
“No, I’m not.” She sat back in her chair and folded her arms. “I thought you said you were gonna help me.”
“I am helping you, and yes, you are gonna let her do it.”
“No, I’m not,” she insisted.
“Look, Jasmine, I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta agree with Derrick on this one. If Wendy’s stupid enough to bring him the drugs, then let her do it.”
“But—”
I cut her off. “But what? You told me you trust Derrick, that you have faith in him. Didn’t you?”
“Yes, but ...”
“But what?” I shouted this time.
“But I hate that bitch and I don’t want her near him,” she admitted.
“That woman is only going to do what Derrick allows her to do. Besides, you can’t keep her away from him.”
“Why can’t I? That’s my man.”
“Yeah, but that’s her baby’s father. She’s got a ticket into his life anytime she wants until that kid turns twenty-one. Whether you like it or not. So if you wanna be with him, you best get used to that.”
“I don’t want him to see her, Dylan.” She wasn’t giving up.
“I know, but if you think about it, you can’t stop it. Not unless you wanna go to jail.”
She stared at me silently for a few seconds. “I don’t wanna go to jail, Dylan.”
“Then let her take the drugs to him.”
It took me the better part of an hour to convince Jasmine that what I was saying was in her best interest. She finally agreed to let Wendy take the drugs up to Dylan, and it was a good thing, ’cause I was starting to get a headache. As much as I liked the girl, I was about to call it quits and let her dig her own grave.
“Dylan, can I ask you a question?” We’d just walked up to her car and she’d gotten in.
“Sure.” I leaned in through the driver’s-side window.
“How come you never tried to talk me out of being with Derrick?”
“’Cause you never woulda listened to me. Just like I never listened to people who tried to talk me out of being with Monica. No one knows the good things about Monica and Derrick like we do, Jasmine. All they see is the mistakes they’ve made.”
“You just said exactly what I feel.” She looked astonished. I just smiled.
“You told me earlier that you were seeing someone. Are you back with Monica?”
I shook my head and frowned sadly. “Nah, I haven’t seen her since that night we were together at the club.”
“You still miss her, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do. More than I wanna admit.”
“What about the girl you’re seeing? Is she nice?” That jealous look was back on her face. I hesitated, trying to think of a lie.
“Yeah, Tonya’s cool. But it’s more a sex thing than a relationship.”
“And you want a relationship?”
“Well, yeah. Maybe not with her, but I wanna get married and have kids. I’m twenty-seven years old. I want to be able to play ball with my kids, not watch them from my porch.”
“You don’t have any kids?” She reached out and touched my hand.
“None that I’m claiming.” I joked.
“So you like kids, huh?”
“I love kids. I just haven’t met anyone stupid enough to have any by me.”
“You’re a trip, Dylan,” she laughed.
“Yeah, I know. But I’d rather be a vacation. It lasts longer.” She laughed again and handed me a folded-up piece of paper.
“Here, I wrote down all my numbers. You can call me any time. I don’t wanna lose this friendship.”
“Neither do I, Jasmine. Neither do I.”
I bent over to kiss her, and she turned her head so my lips met her cheek. That was okay, but I couldn’t believe what I heard next.
“What the hell are you up to, bitch?”
“Excuse me? What did you call me?” I gave her an evil glare. “All I did was kiss you on the cheek. You didn’t have to get nasty about that.”
“Oh, Dylan, I’m sorry.” She turned to face me. “I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about my sister.”
“Your sister?” I looked around. “What about your sister?” This woman definitely kept me on my toes with her mood swings.
“See that green van over there with the MS. THING license plates?”
“Yeah.” It was parked under a light across the street.
“That’s my sister’s van.”
“And?” I shrugged my shoulders.
“And I wanna know what her car’s doing in the parking lot of a motel that rents rooms by the hour.”
14
Stephanie
I had what most sisters would call a perfect life. A brand-new house, a new car, a good man at home, and a wedding that was less than six months away. Life was good. So why the hell was I waking up in a cheap motel in the arms of a man who’d walked out on me four years ago? I didn’t have a clue.
I rolled over on my side and Malek was staring at me, his face inches away. His full, soft lips gently touched mine. I closed my eyes and savored the taste of his kiss. Yeah, I had everything a woman could ever want waiting for me at home, but all I really wanted was for Malek to make love to me one more time.
“I was wondering when you was gonna wake up. We only got about thirty minutes left before our three hours is up.” He smiled as he slid on top of me, pushing his way inside me for the third time.
The first two times I had an excuse. I’d been high off weed. But this time I was sober, so there were no excuses. I just wanted to do it. I took one hand and held onto Malek’s firm, muscular ass while my other hand massaged the cornrows I’d braided a few hours earlier. Malek had been a terrible boyfriend and an even worse father, but I had to give him his props. He was an awesome lover. And every time he slid inside me I was reminded just how awesome he was.
“Whose pussy is this?” I felt him slide deeper.
“It’s yours, baby. It’s your pussy,” I shouted back instinctively.
“Whose pussy is it?” This time he asked louder.
“It’s yours, baby! It’s all yours! So tear it up, ’cause I’m about to come!”
He was moving inside me like a jackhammer that just met hard cement, and it didn’t take long before I was screaming so loud I’m sure everyone in the motel could hear me. I swear to God I ain’t come like that in years. And it only made it better that he started moaning like he was ready to come, too. When our little trip to heaven finally ended, Malek collapsed on top of me. I held him contentedly, savoring the phenomenal moment we’d just shared together. That is, until I felt his sperm run down my leg. That’s when I panicked.
“Oh, shit.” I reached down and felt the warm, sticky liquid oozing out of me. “Get off me, Malek.” I tried to wiggle free-from underneath him.
“What’s wrong?” He rolled off me and glared as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Don’t tell me you’re having regrets all of a sudden.”
“No, not regrets,” I told him a little more calmly. “But we should have used a condom.”
“What? You think I’m gonna give you somethin’?” He frowned.
“No, but I ain’t take my pill this morning or yesterday.”
He smiled, reaching across the bed to pat my stomach. “So what’s the problem? We make good-looking kids.”
“You know damn well what the problem is. I can’t get pregnant by you.” I shoved his hand away and reached for my bag. I was hoping that maybe if I took yesterday’s pill and today’s pill I might be all right.
“Why can’t you get pregnant by me?”
“’Cause I just had a baby with Travis, stupid.” I popped the pills in my mouth. “I’d look like a fool if I had a baby with you.”
“Why you gonna look like a fool? We already got a daughter together.”
“Yeah, but I don’t live with you, Malek. I live with Travis. Everybody and their brother knows we’re getting married in a few months. How’d I look having a baby with you ten months after I had my son?”
“What you saying?” He slammed his hand down on the night table, scaring the hell outta me. “You still gonna marry this fool even after we just made love?” He stood up, then looked down at his penis as if I’d insulted it. “I thought you said it was my pussy.”
“Jesus Christ! Why do you men take everything so literal?” I shook my head at his stupidity. “We were having sex, Malek! It was good.
Real
good. What did you expect me to say? ‘No it’s not your pussy, but I’m coming anyway?’ ”
“It woulda been better than lying to me. If you didn’t wanna be with me, why’d you give me some? Or did you just plan on playin’ me? Damn, I feel used.” He actually sounded hurt.
“Don’t you dare act like you’re the victim here. Ain’t nobody play you, and I damn sure ain’t use you. You know how I get when I smoke weed. That’s why you wanted to smoke with me in the first place, isn’t it?” My eyes never left his and he got quiet. “That’s what I thought. So don’t act like I played you, Malek. ’Cause if anyone played you, you played yourself.”
“Yeah, maybe I did play myself. But you played me, too.”
“Please, how’d I play you?” He was getting on my nerves now.
“If weed makes you so horny, why’d you smoke with me? You could’ve said no.”
Now it was my turn to be quiet, because he was right. I could have said no. Truth is, there was no good reason why I didn’t stop myself. I hadn’t smoked weed in years.
“You know why, Shorty. Because you wanted me to fuck you. You wanted it the whole time. You just needed an excuse to do it.” His words stung, but only because they were accurate.
“Maybe you’re right, Malek. Maybe I really did wanna go to bed with you. But I wasn’t tryin’a play you. And I damn sure don’t have no regrets.”
“If you don’t have no regrets, then why you still gonna be with him?” He looked so pathetic, I almost wanted to feel sorry for him. But I wasn’t about to let his little pout get in the way of my future with Travis.
“’Cause we have a family together. We have plans for the future. And more important, I love him, Malek. Don’t you understand that?”
“No! I don’t understand shit. If you loved him as much you say, you woulda never given me the pussy.” His stare challenged me. I didn’t know what to say. Maybe there was a little truth to what he was saying, but I wasn’t about to deal with that now.
“I know he doesn’t make love to you like I do, does he?”
“Why are you making this so difficult?”
“I’m not making shit difficult. You are. Now just answer the question. Does he make you feel like I do in bed?” Suddenly, Malek was regaining control of the situation.
“No, Malek!” I blurted out honestly, regretting it as soon as I said it. “Nobody makes me feel the way you do in the bedroom.”
“Then why the hell would you marry him?” He threw his hands in the air.
“Because sex ain’t everything, Malek. Sex don’t buy groceries. Sex don’t buy a big house in Chesterfield County, and sex don’t buy security. As good as you make me feel in bed, you don’t make me feel secure. You never did.” Admitting all of this to Malek and to myself was like a big weight lifted. “But Travis makes me feel secure, and that’s why I love him. So get this in your head. I’m not leaving Travis. Not for you or anyone else.”
“So you’re willing to sleep with me but not be with me, is that it?”