“Too much time,” I groaned. “Where’s all this coming from, anyway?”
“It’s coming from you. You’ve been acting funny ever since Malek showed up Christmas Day. And it’s only gotten worse the last couple o’ weeks.” Damn, was I that obvious? Or maybe Jasmine had gone back on her word and put a bug in his ear. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I wasn’t admitting nothing. For all I knew, he was just guessing anyway.
“I’m not acting funny, and I damn sure ain’t fucking Malek. If this is about sex, I told you I’m gonna give you some tomorrow. If you thought you could get me hot tonight, you sure picked the wrong approach.”
“You expect me to believe that?” he said loudly. “You been saying that all week.”
“You act like I’ve been neglecting you or somethin’.” I sucked my teeth in mock indignation. In truth, I had been avoiding him for quite a while now. Hell, it was hard keeping two men satisfied.
“You have! You don’t spend time with me anymore. Shit, I tried to take you out to dinner and the movies before I went out in the field and you told me you had to go to the gym. The gym, for crying out loud! You hate the gym. But you’d rather be at the gym than with me.” He glared at me suspiciously. “Or were you with someone else?”
“No, I wasn’t with someone else. And you’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion.”
“Am I, Steph? All I know is, you never used to lie to me. Now everything that comes out your mouth is a lie.”
“Oh, please! What have I lied about?”
“Where were you this afternoon before you came home?”
“I told you where I was. . . .” I hesitated. “I was out getting my wedding dress fitted. Why, do you wanna call them?” I tried to laugh the situation off.
“Yeah, maybe I should. Where’s the number?” Damn! I didn’t think he’d take me seriously about checking my story.
“You know, Travis, maybe I should give you some right now, because this lack of sex is warping your brain.” I glared at him.
“You think so?” His tone was nasty. “Well, was something wrong with Maleka’s brain when she told me you took her to Malek’s house while I was in the field?” My jaw must’ve hit the ground. I’d told Malek that it wasn’t a good idea to bring Maleka over to see Nana. Now my fears had been confirmed. Maleka had told Travis about it even though I’d bribed her to keep quiet by promising her a new toy.
“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Or you trying to think of another lie?” That was right. I was trying to think of a good lie.
“I was gonna tell you about that, Travis. It just slipped my mind. It’s a good thing Maleka told you.” He rolled his eyes at my pathetic attempt to look innocent.
“Did it also slip your mind to tell me you dropped the parental rights case against him? And that I’m not going to be able to adopt Maleka?” My heart was in my mouth and my nightgown was becoming soaked with sweat. How did he know that?
“Who told you that?” I asked nervously.
“Does it really matter?
You
should have told me, Stephl” He got out of bed. I looked at him and saw tears glistening in his eyes. “You used to tell me everything, Stephanie. Now you only tell me lies.”
“Travis . . .” I had to stop myself. I didn’t know what to say to him.
“You know, I waited all week for you to tell me that you saw Malek and dropped the case. So don’t you dare try and tell me I’m blowing things out of proportion or that you don’t lie to me.” We stared at each other silently. “Are you fucking him, Steph? Are you fucking Malek?”
“No, Travis,” I protested weakly. “How could you think—”
He raised his hand to stop me. I knew it wasn’t worth it to make up another story. He wouldn’t believe me now anyway.
“How could I think that? Maybe because I don’t even know you anymore, Stephanie. You’re not the woman I fell in love with.”
He grabbed his pants and shirt off the back of a chair and shut himself in the bathroom. I ran behind him but I heard the click of the lock as I grabbed the doorknob. Suddenly, I felt a sense of insecurity I’d never felt before with Travis. I was losing him. I’d never before imagined he could leave me, but now I was afraid he would. It was finally becoming clear to me just how important he was in my life.
I sat down on the bed and stared at that bathroom door for a good ten minutes before I finally got up enough nerve to knock. Travis was fully dressed when he emerged. I was scared for our future together, but it was so easy for me to fall back into my old ways with him. I immediately took on an attitude to show him who was really in charge.
“Where you going?”
“I’m going out to get a piece of ass,” he smirked. “Isn’t that what you told me to do?”
“Look, Travis.” I softened my tone. It was time to take a new approach, since he didn’t seem to be playing by the old rules, when I was always allowed to win. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I dropped the case, but Malek came to my job offering to pay child support. Then he told me he was going to fight us every step of the way. We can’t afford that. And when I told the lawyer, he said we probably wouldn’t win. Ask him.” I grabbed his shirt.
“I don’t have to. I already spoke to him.” He slipped on his shoes and stood to face me. “You don’t get it. This isn’t about the lawyer. It’s really not even about Malek. It’s about you and me. It’s about how you keep lying to me, Stephanie. I can’t trust you anymore, so I don’t even know if I wanna marry you.”
“What?” My heart was in my stomach, and my eyes full of tears. “You can’t be serious. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Oh, I’m serious, all right. I might just pack up my shit and move back onto base tomorrow. Now, would you let me go?” He shrugged my hand off of his shirt.
I was so stunned. My arms dropped to my side and I stepped back. Maybe he’d expected me to put up more of a fight, because he drove the knife a little deeper to see if he could get a rise out of me.
“Don’t wait up. I might get lucky.” He winked.
“Are you serious? You’re gonna go sleep with another woman?” I was so hurt by how callously he’d said it. This was not the Travis I knew. He was supposed to worship the ground I walked on.
“I ain’t getting none here.” He walked out of the bedroom door. “And I’m sick of that shit.”
“Travis, don’t do this!” I called after him. “I’m sorry, baby. Please, don’t do this. Travis ...” I was scared. He was mad enough to make good on his promise. And even after all the shit I’d done with Malek, I couldn’t bear the thought of Travis being with another woman.
18
Travis
My head felt like someone was playing a game of pinball in there. I don’t think I’d ever had a worse hangover. But what could I expect after how much I drank last night? I knew it wasn’t possible to drown away my sorrows, but I damn well tried after I stomped out of the house last night. In all the time we’d been together, I’d never been so mad at Stephanie or so serious about ending things between us. Usually, she could just bat her beautiful eyelashes at me and we’d be making up. But this time I wasn’t having it. She had told me one too many lies, and it hurt me to the core that she had changed her mind about me adopting Maleka. She seemed to be more concerned about her daughter’s father than she was about me. It was enough to make even the most secure man nervous. So where I was usually the one to make peace in our house, this time I set out to hurt Stephanie the way she’d hurt me. I told her I was going out to find me some ass, but really I was just planning on going to the NCO club on base to get drunk. Now I was the one hurting as I lay in bed, my head pounding. I was afraid to open my eyes, ’cause I knew the light would only make the pain worse.
“Steph?” I mumbled desperately from under the covers. I was rubbing my temples to relieve the pain. “Can you please get me some aspirin? My head is killing me.”
She didn’t answer, so I shook her. I knew she was up, because I’d just heard her hit the snooze button on the alarm a few seconds before. She probably wasn’t speaking to me because of the way I cursed her out last night. I’d said a lot of things I probably shouldn’t have, but at the time I didn’t give a shit. I meant every word. And I still meant a lot of it, especially the part about packing my shit and moving back onto the base this morning. I was just praying that she wasn’t gonna have an attitude when I asked for the ring.
“Stephanie? Did you hear me? I need some aspirin.” I was about to shake her again until she spoke.
“Yeah, I heard you. But my name ain’t Stephanie.”
“What? Oh, shit!” My response wasn’t exactly Shakespeare, but they were the only words that came to mind when I realized that something was seriously wrong. I slowly pried my eyes open, praying I was just having a bad dream. But once I adjusted to the light, I saw my ex-girlfriend, Sergeant Brittany Collins, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking like a Victoria’s Secret supermodel.
“Brittany, what the hell are you doing in my guest room?”
“Your guest room? You better look around, ‘cause I pay the rent here.” She rolled her eyes and I surveyed the room, decked out in pastels and ultrafeminine furniture. She was right. I wasn’t in my guest room or even my house, and that meant I was in trouble. Big trouble, ’cause I wasn’t any better than Stephanie and her cheating ass.
“Oh, God.” I sat up gingerly and rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?”
She pointed to the clock on the nightstand. “Quarter to eight.”
“In the morning?” My head was pounding so loud I could barely hear my own voice.
“No. The sun shines through my window all night,” she answered sarcastically. “Of course it’s morning. Are you still drunk?”
“No, I’m not still drunk. Just got one hell of a hangover,” I groaned. “I gotta get outta here. I gotta get home. I can’t believe I did this. Stephanie’s gonna kill me.” I didn’t even wanna think about what might have happened between Brittany and me. No matter how angry I was at Stephanie, my conscience wouldn’t let me get out of this situation without heaps of guilt. She was the cheater, not me. At least I didn’t think I was until now, with Brittany’s half-naked ass sitting on the edge of my bed. Now I wasn’t quite sure if I did or not. Especially since the last thing I remembered was her sitting down next to me at the bar and offering to buy me a drink. “How the hell did I get here, anyway?”
“Damn, I must be losing my touch if you don’t even remember.” She slid the strap of her lingerie back onto her shoulder. I was glad, ’cause the last thing I needed was a view of her exposed breast to get me into even more trouble.
“To be honest,” I admitted, “the only thing I remember is sitting in the NCO club drinking a tequila sunrise.”
“That’s it? You don’t remember begging me for some last night?” She looked insulted.
“I’m sorry, Brittany, but I don’t remember any of that.” I covered my face in shame. “God, I’ve really gotta stop drinking tequila.”
“No, you really gotta stop making promises you can’t keep.” There was anger in her eyes.
“I do?” I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, Lord. What’d I promise?”
“A hell of a lot more than I got. If I remember correctly, you said something about sending me to the stars and the moon if I let you come home with me.” She smirked at me. “Sweetheart, I didn’t come close to the moon, and the only stars I saw were outside my window.”
“For real? I was that bad?” Male ego is a fragile thing. Once Brittany insulted my performance, I was more concerned about her criticism than I was about getting home to Stephanie. And like any self-respecting man, I had an excuse ready. “Well, it was probably because I was drunk. If I was sober, I would’ve handled my business. You can believe that.” I winked at her, tempted to offer proof right then until she laughed out loud.
“What’s so funny?”
“You are.” She shook her head. “Do you really think we had sex last night?”
“Why else would I be in your bed?” I was feeling stupider by the second. One second I was worried that I had slept with Brittany, now I was worried that maybe I hadn’t.
“To sleep.” She stopped laughing and stared at me. “We didn’t do anything. I was just joking, Travis. Can’t you see you’re still fully dressed?” I noticed my rumpled clothes for the first time and sighed thankfully.
“How the hell did I get here, anyway?”
“I took your keys after your sixth tequila sunrise. I didn’t know where you lived, so I drove you and your truck over here.”
“For real?”
“Yeah. I slept on the couch last night. I just walked in here to turn off the alarm clock.”
“But you were in the bed. I was shaking you, wasn’t I?” This was too confusing for my hungover state.
“No. You were shaking my pillows, Travis.” She laughed as I noticed just how many damn pillows were on her bed. I musta really been hurting if I thought one of those was her, but she did say I’d had six tequilas last night. And who knows how many I had before she got there.
“Thank God,” I sighed pitifully now that my ego was in check, and I realized it was a good thing that nothing had happened. “I don’t think I could deal with it right now if I had.”