I walk down the hall toward one of the
bedrooms when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see
Lucas in front of me. My eyes go wide in shock. I did not expect to
see him here. I’m about to speak when, he grabs me by the arm and
pulls me into a bedroom, closing the door behind us. I protest but
he gets in my way and blocks the door.
“
What are you doing? Let
me out!” I’m not sure why I’m yelling at him but he’s not in the
least affected by the need for my sudden outburst. I move and he
moves with me.
“
Abby. Abby stop!” I stop
short, taken aback by his tone.
“
What? I can’t be here
with you. Brady is down stairs playing pool and if he goes looking
for me once he’s done and sees I’m nowhere to be found, he’s gonna
freak. I have to go back out there.” I try to grab the door handle.
Just as I reach it, Lucas grabs me by the shoulders and shoves me
up against the wall, not forcefully though.
“
Why are you ignoring me?
Please, talk to me Abby! You know you feel something for me still.”
He stares into my eyes and I see a flick of sadness in them. I let
out a sigh and he loosens his grip. He places his hands on the wall
on either side of me. I turn away, not sure how to respond. My
heart beats a million miles a second at the realization that I’m
just inches from his body. Only air separates us. I look back at
him and notice he’s staring at my lips. He makes eye contact with
me again. “Lucas.” I say barely a whisper. His brows
furrow.
“
You know I can’t do this.
Please don’t make me do this.” At that moment I just want to grab
him and kiss him until neither of us has any breath left. He
relaxes his arms by his side and moves away from the door. Not
wanting to move but knowing I have to, I will my feet to take steps
toward the door. I reach the doorknob and turn it, opening slightly
Lucas catches the door and shuts it.
“
I can’t do this either.”
Then he thrusts me up against the wall again and starts kissing me.
Before I realize what’s happening, I grab his face with both of my
hands and kiss him intently. He moans against my lips, kissing me
with so much force I can’t breathe. “Lucas.” I whisper. He looks at
me and lightly runs his finger over my arm and then my neck. “What
are we doing?” I ask as I feel chills at his touch.
“
Abby, you can’t deny your
feelings any longer. At least I know I can’t. I’ve done it long
enough. I want you. Please don’t push me away.” I run my hands
through his hair and he leans his head into my hands. His silky
hair feels good against my palms. He looks at me, smiling. I melt.
Then he leaves trails of kisses along my jaw line down to my collar
bone. I fall into him, urging him on, even though my inner
subconscious is screaming for me to stop. I dismiss the voice. He
presses his body against mine, seizing every bone in my body. In my
mind I’m screaming with joy. The realization hits me that I’m
actually in his arms and it feels better than my dream that other
night.
“
I had a dream similar to
this one.” I force out. He stops kissing me, stunned. “Really?” I
don’t want him to stop. Why did he stop?
“
Yeah, but this is much
better.” Then I grab his bottom lip with my own and nibble on it. A
noise escapes his throat and he grabs my arms and pins them above
my head, kissing me again. His tongue slips into my mouth, meeting
mine halfway. My tongue explores his in a swirling motion, and then
I gently suck on it for a few seconds which, I can tell, gets him
aroused. I slip my hands under his shirt and massage his back
lightly with my fingertips, making circle motions. He squirms and
lets out a moan. He grabs me, picking me up gently, then throws me
down on the bed and leans over me. We start kissing again and I
pull off his shirt. We stare at each other for a minute.
“
God, you’re beautiful!” I
smile and pull him down on me, wrapping my legs around his waist.
He runs his hands over my bare skin and I close my eyes, trying
hard not to scream out in pure delight. He slowly tugs at my shirt
and pulls it up over my head and throws it on the floor, running
the back of his hand down my arm and over my bra. My heart
accelerates at his touch. I roll him off me so he is on his back,
and then I straddle him, caressing my hands down his chest. I feel
faint and can’t believe this is happening right now. This is pure
bliss. He leans up and kisses my chest so softly; it’s almost as if
I imagined it. Then the tip of his tongue runs along my ribcage and
down to my belly button. Our hands are exploring each other, his
are on my back, but he moves them down to the top of my jeans,
slipping his fingers just at the tip. I gasp at his touch and feel
a flutter.
Suddenly, I realize that
this is farther than I ever went with Brady and I don’t want him to
stop, not for a second. Lucas jolts me back to the moment; as he
grabs my waist and flips me onto my back so he’s on top of me again
and leaning down to kiss me. My tongue runs along his teeth and
back into his mouth meshing with his like they belonged together.
He pulls away, catching his breath and sits down beside me.
What just happened?
I regain my composure and also slow my
breathing, while I sit up. My hair is a crazy mess, so I smooth it
out. He gets up off of the bed, bends down to grab our shirts from
the floor, and hands me mine. “So, wow, that was something huh?” I
look at him like he has two heads.
“
Was it better than your
dream?” He teases. I playfully shove him then lay my head in his
lap. I take his hand in mine and interlace my fingers through his,
observing them. “Lucas, in my dream you told me you never stopped
loving me. I kind of told you the same thing because I never did. I
just don’t know what to do. I even told my mom about the dream. She
loves you, you know. She thinks you’re a great guy for me. I just
need some time before I do anything. Will you give me time to sort
things out?”
He took my face in his hands, rubbing his
thumbs across my cheeks. “I will give you as much time as you need.
I’ve gotta say though, it’s a relief to hear you finally admit your
feelings.” I smile and let out a sigh. He lifts my head up as he
gets off the bed and kneels down until we are eye level. “I love
you Abby. I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to come back to
me.” He kisses my forehead and gets up, walking to the door. I
start to panic. Is he leaving me?
“
Where are you
going?”
“
You need to go back to
Brady before he panics and claims you’ve been kidnapped. I’ll be
around though. Promise.” Then he’s gone and I’m left alone trying
to figure out why I feel so depressed.
Chapter 11
I sit awhile longer not in the mood to party
anymore. I go to reach for my phone to check on Brooke but realize
I left it in the car. A lot of good that does me, especially if
Matt had tried calling. I let out a frustrated sigh, resigned to
the fact that I have to go back out and face Brady and everyone
else.
In this moment I feel guilty for what I’d
just done. I’ve never been the cheating type, it’s never been me.
But I also can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. I don’t
want to leave this room. It’s become my private domain, a secret
room that only Lucas and I shared about ten minutes ago. A smile
creeps up on my lips, as I lay back on the pillow, wistfully
laughing to myself. An image of us on this very bed sneaks into my
thoughts. I almost lost my virginity this very night to the one
person in my life I always wanted. I reluctantly get off the bed
and head for the door, turning to look at the bed one last time
before retreating to the mass of party people and the booming
music.
By this time it is 2:30 am and I am getting
tired. I find the game room where the guys are all hanging out by
the pool table and dart boards, laughing and drinking. I pay no
attention to their conversations yet when they see me they all stop
talking. I feel self conscious. Brady notices the silence and turns
to see me and smiles. “Hey babe. You doing okay?”
“
Yeah, I just need the key
to your car so I can get my phone. I want to check on Brooke.” He
reaches into his pocket fishing out his keys, handing them to me
then takes his hand back.
“
Are you okay? You know,
to walk?” I look at him incredulously. Is he serious? I am far from
drunk. I could walk a straight line if he needed proof. I may have
been slightly buzzed earlier but after the intimate rendezvous with
Lucas, I sobered up quicker than I was buzzed. Of course he doesn’t
know that and we’ve been apart for a couple hours now so I guess he
wouldn’t really know what state I’m in.
“
Yes, I’m perfectly fine.
I haven’t drunk anything for the last two hours, give or take.” He
looks satisfied at my reply and hands me the keys. Gratefully, I
take them and head out of the room. I hear loud laughing and
shouting and ignore it, as I walk out of the house. I walk down the
steps, past the gate and out to the vacant street. I’m a pretty
good distance away from the house and the party. It is a relief to
be myself finally. I get so claustrophobic around too many crowds.
It’s as bad as my elevator phobia. I start to panic as it gets
ready to ascend and I shut my eyes tight until it stops, taking
deep breaths. People would look at me funny for my paranoia but I
feel it to be justified. I unlock and open the passenger side door
and slip in, reaching for my purse to retrieve my phone. It shows
no missed calls or texts. A wave of tension falls off my shoulders
and I send a text to Brooke to see if she is awake.
“
How are you
doing?”
I wait a few minutes, no response. As I’m
sitting half way in the car with my feet hanging over the seat,
head down staring at my phone as if I can somehow telepathically
convince Brooke to text me back I hear foot steps coming toward me.
Thinking its Brady I don’t look up.
“
Why are you hiding out
here?” I look up and see Lucas and my heart races. Just the sound
of his voice affects me instantly and I find my body reacting, in
the most alluring way.
“
I was texting Brooke to
make sure she got home okay. She was drunk and puking earlier, so
Matt took her home. I’m kind of worried about her.” He leans on the
car next to me playing with the hem of his shirt. “Yeah, I saw her
dancing with him earlier. She’s cute when she’s drunk. As long as
I’ve known her, I’ve never been more attracted to her.” We both
laugh. “So how long have you been here? I hadn’t seen you since I
walked in at ten. Well, aside from, ya know.” I stop talking and
blush, red as an apple.
“
By the way, you are mean
for leaving me all alone like that I hope you know.” I bat my eyes
dramatically. “Yea, I know. Believe me I wanted to stay, as long as
you wanted me to. It’s not easy for me to be near you and not able
to touch you, or even hold your hand.” I smile at his sweet
comment, wishing it was easier for me too.
“
I know. I’m sorry. I just
need to figure out what I want. I mean I know I want you, but I’m
afraid to take that chance with you again. Besides, I don’t like
hurting Brady. He’s a great guy. Ugh, this is so complicating!.” I
start getting frustrated, mostly because I haven’t heard back from
Brooke yet. I quickly send her another text. Lucas puts his hand
over mine to calm my trembling.
“
Hey, relax. I said I will
wait for however long you need. I didn’t mean to upset you.” The
sincerity in his eyes makes me feel worse. I don’t want to let him
down either. I place my other hand on top of his and rub my thumb
over his knuckles. It feels totally soothing and calming, and I
suddenly get the urge to throw him down in the back of this car. As
if reading my thoughts, he pulls his hand away and stands up
straight. “I wish we could too Abby. You have no idea.” And he
starts walking away. I let out a chuckle and pull him back to me,
meeting him for a quick kiss. My tongue slips into his mouth and
caresses his ever so lightly, and it feels so good. I wrap my arms
around his neck backing us up against the car. His hands around my
waist move downward a little. I open my eyes and pull back
slightly, observing. He’s out of breath and clearly enjoying the
moment as much as I am. But that moment has ended too soon. “Look,
I’ve got to go back inside before Brady freaks out. I want him to
take me home now.” He looks at me curiously.
“
Are you okay?”
“
Yes, I just need to go
home and away from you before things go a little too far, and we
don’t want to regret anything. Besides, here is not the ideal place
to do anything. Not like this.” He gives me a kiss on the forehead
and takes my chin in his hand, staring directly into my eyes as if
he can see all the answers to every question he wants to ask me.
“Okay, get home safe. I’m going to head out myself. It’s been an
exhausting but eventful night.” He gives me a wink and I
blush.
“
Yes it has.” I tease,
punching his arm lightly.
“
Have pleasant dreams
Abigail.” He smiles and
leaves. I realize
that I haven’t really been called by my actual name unless my
mother is angry with me. I find myself enjoying my real name on his
lips. His full and luscious lips that make my lips tingle when they
touch. My phone buzzes in my hand and I look down seeing Brooke’s
name. Relief hits me when she tells me she’s doing better but
she’ll call me tomorrow as soon as she wakes up. I can relax
now.
I go back inside to search for Brady and I
don’t find him anywhere. Suddenly, I spot him out back by the pool.
I walk out there and notice that he is actually in the pool, fully
clothed, playing volleyball with a bunch of people. I get the urge
to just take his car and leave him there. But he sees me before I
have a chance to make a getaway.