“
MOM!” I yell. Seriously,
who does that..ogle their daughters’ guy friends?
“
Sorry, I’m just saying.
He wins me over with just a smile. But okay I can see by your
expression that I’ve taken it too far. So anyway, I’m going to
clean up and head out now. Love you.” A mischievous grin flashes
across her face as she glides to the sink. I suddenly had lost my
appetite. I go to my room and get my school stuff and head out the
door.
Arriving at school, I scan the parking lot
for my sister. I wonder who told my mom about her using drugs. I
guess I’m glad it wasn’t me that told, I’d hate to be a snitch even
if she is a bitch. She’s still my sister and I remember being her
age and lost in a cruel and careless world.
“
Hey Abby.” I hear
Brooke’s voice from behind. I turn around and see Brady is with
her. He comes to give me a hug, I hesitate for a moment remembering
the arms I was in yesterday just outside my window. I long for
those arms around me.
“
Hey guys. What’s up?” I
give Brady a quick kiss but he has other plans. He grabs my head
and runs his fingers through my hair, kissing me forcefully. Then
his tongue slips inside my mouth, finding mine. Only it won’t
reciprocate.
“
Ahem.” Brooke clears her
throat interrupting the mood as we break apart. I give her an ‘I
owe you’ look and smile. Brady puts his arm over my shoulder and we
start walking to class. We see Coach Davis walking toward
us.
“
Hey Mr. Wilson, can I
have a word with you for a minute?” He asks Brady smiling. It must
have to do with his college choices or something. I gesture for him
to go.
“
Okay, hey I will see you
later. It’s probably football related. I love you.” I nod and hug
him before he follows his coach into the crowd of students. I stare
after him for a minute then glance at Brooke.
“
What?” She gives me cocky
grin.
“
I saw you practically
groveling at my feet when I interrupted your make out fest.” I
laugh.” Yes, thank you for that by the way. So, let me tell you.
After I got off the phone, I fell asleep and had a crazy dream.
Then my mother and I talked for like an hour. She’s so supportive
of my feelings for Lucas. Oh then she proceeds to tell me to use
protection, in case I have sex with him or Brady. It was so weird.
But I have to admit, it was nice telling my mother everything. I
think she’s really in favor of Lucas.” I leave out the details of
my dream wanting to keep that a secret, a private intimate moment
between us. He may not know about it but I’d like to think he
actually does feel the same. It makes me feel better. We walk to my
locker; I put my books up and take my History book for my first
class.
“
Hey ladies, how’s it
going?” I turn around and find my sister glaring at me. Does she
know my mom find out? I hope she doesn’t think it was
me.
“
How can I help you
Sarah?” I ask, hands on my hips. I won’t bow down to
her.
“
Oh, nothing just passing
by and wondering what’s new with you since I didn’t get to talk to
you yesterday.” She gives Brooke a once over and smirks.
“
Nothing, we are going to
class. You can talk to me later. Come on Brooke.” I guide her down
the hall away from my tormentor. I swear she lives to make my life
a living Hell. As we’re walking around the corner, I turn to glare
at Sarah who is clearly not effected.
“
Ugh, someone needs to
give that girl a taste of her own medicine.” Brooke
says.
“
Well, someone already
did, she just doesn’t know it yet.” She gives me a questioning
look.
“
My mom told me this
morning that an anonymous source told her about her using drugs.
I’m just not sure who it was yet.” Her eyes went wide.
“
Wow, you know she’s going
to accuse you of snitching. Better be careful.”
I say goodbye as she enters her class across
the hall from mine. Chelsea, a mutual friend of mine and Brooke’s
is sitting at her desk. She looks up when she sees me enter the
room and smiles.
“
So, I hope you don’t mind
but I told my mom about Sarah.” Aha! There’s the
culprit!
“
Really? It was you?” She
looks nervous at first, and then relaxes.
“
Yeah, sorry but I had to.
Haley and Sarah were doing it again, behind our house. I caught
them red handed. I don’t want your sister to be that kind of
influence on Haley.”
I completely understand. Haley is Chelsea’s
younger sister. So their mom must have told my mom then. “Yea, my
mom told me this morning she found out from a source. I kept trying
to figure out who told. But thanks for coming clean. And believe
me, I completely understand. Right now, Sarah is not the best
influence for anyone. She’s going through some teenage phase; until
it passes, it would be wise to keep Haley away.” She nods in
agreement.
After the bell rings, Mr. Anderson writes
our assignment on the board. I get out my book and study. The
classroom is silent, and the only sounds are that of pages being
turned or papers being shuffled. My mind switches off and a memory
of the dream takes me away from my assignment.
Lucas and I dated part of middle school up
until sophomore year. In all that time we were together, he never
pressured me into doing anything I didn’t want to do. I think in
reality it has to do with the reason that I won’t go all the way
with Brady. I’m not saying that I wanted to stay a virgin all my
life but Lucas always respected my choices of waiting. The words
“Take me Lucas, all of me” keeps replaying in my head over and
over. The thing is, I really wanted him to, dream or no dream. At
that time it felt real so I think my subconscious was trying to
tell me that I really want to give myself to him. All of him. If
only it were that simple.
Chapter 8
The sound of the bell makes me jump. Chelsea
laughs and shakes her head. “Geez, why are you so jumpy? What were
you daydreaming about?”
“
What makes you think I
was daydreaming?” I ask.
“
Oh come on you had that
dreamy look on your face. Was it sexual? Did you have a fantasy
about getting it on with Brady? It’s about time you actually take
that step you know.” I smile, thankful she said Brady’s name
instead of my real fantasy boy.
“
Yeah, I know. I just want
it to be special. It will happen soon enough.” We get out of our
seats and step out into the hall, which is when I see him. Lucas is
leaning against the lockers, clearly waiting for me. He’s wearing
khaki shorts with a blue and white striped shirt, even though
there’s snow outside and it’s flipping cold. But he always wore
shorts in freezing weather, claiming he was warm blooded. I am warm
blooded too, but would still get cold sometimes.
“
Hey, I’m hoping you’re
not going to turn me away.” Chelsea looks from me to him, then back
at me again. “Okay, well I will see you later Abby.” I wave at her
and turn to Lucas.
“
Where’s Sarah? I wouldn’t
want her to get the wrong idea. She’s already acting like a crazy
bitch. And after tonight I suspect she will be taking crazy bitch
to a whole new level.” He gives me a confused look.
“
My mom found out she was
doing drugs and now she will be in some major trouble when she gets
home. I didn’t tell on her. But I should have. She needs to get her
shit together.” Lucas stops me midway and looks at me with a
neutral expression.
“
Look, I know she’s got
problems right now. But maybe you should take it easy on her a
little bit. I remember when you went through some of that. I was
there for you to lean on; maybe you should be there for her.” I
knew he was right but I couldn’t help the irritation building up
inside of me because he was defending her. “Why don’t you just be
there for her instead?” I stalk off, but don’t get far. He steps in
front of me and takes my arm lightly to get my
attention.
“
I’m sorry; I wasn’t
trying to piss you off. I just wanted you to see both sides is all.
We all went through the normal kid stuff, she just needs guidance.”
He put his arms down by his side and I couldn’t help but wish he
would have left it where it was. I had to get out of there, away
from him. When he was near, I would think all kinds of crazy
things.
“
I have to go. If Brady
comes by and sees us together, he’ll think something is going on. I
will talk to you later.” I start to walk off and he grabs my arm
again. The sensation that goes through my body is intense and I
gasp.
“
Can we hang out later,
after school? Please?” He asks with a raspy voice. I nod and smile
slightly then head for my next class in a daze. My skin tingles
where his fingers touched it. I bump into people as I’m walking,
not paying attention to what I’m doing. It isn’t until I hear my
sister yell my name that I realize I’ve circled the entire Science
hall like a zombie.
“
What the Hell is wrong
with you? Are you lost?” Sarah approaches me, humor laced in her
words. I barely glance at her and shake my head walking away. I
hear her say something else but I’ve no idea what, I just keep
walking. I finally get to my class before the bell rings and sit
down.
“
Hey, I haven’t seen you
all day. You look like Hell Abby.” Brooke approaches me at lunch.
She sits down across from me with her tray of food. I’m eating a
salad, pizza and tacos. It’s not the best mix but I’m feeling
really hungry today. “Yea, I’ve been around. I’m just tired so I’ve
gone straight to my classes.”
“
Hey guys! I’ve got stuff
to do with the coach so I’m skipping lunch today.” Brady then looks
at me. “See ya later babe. Okay?” He gives me a quick kiss and
takes off. I stare at my food as if they’re about to do some
awesome magic trick. “Abby?” I look up with my mouth hanging
open.
“
Huh?” I close my mouth
and set my fork down in defeat.
“
Um, nevermind.” Brooke
looks disappointed, like I let her down which makes me feel like
shit. She has every right to be upset with me; I’ve been a horrible
friend lately. It’s all Lucas’s fault. I finally come to the
conclusion that I need to stay away from him for now. “I’m sorry, I
don’t mean to be in my own land…I just have so much on my mind and
I can’t think straight.” I sigh louder than I intended. She gives
me a weary look.
“
Care to venture?” Not
really. Talking about Lucas is the last thing I want to do right
now but she doesn’t budge.
“
Well, I’m having such
strong feelings for Lucas, when he’s near he consumes me! It’s such
an odd thing to think about. I mean sure when we dated before it
was somewhat strong but lately it’s heightened a lot. I need to
stay away from him. He wants us to hang out like old times Brooke.
I can’t do that. I can’t be around him and not want him. Fuck I
hate feeling out of control. It’s making me insane.” She gives a
quiet laugh.
“
Dude, you’re so in love
it’s not even funny. God, I’ve never seen you like this with Brady.
Ever.” After thinking about it and discovering it’s true, I feel
like the worst girlfriend ever.
“
See, I’m a horrible
person.”
“
You’re not a horrible
person Abby. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re only seventeen
and are torn between two great guys, albeit it’s obvious who you’re
more in love with.” She gives me a mischievous smile, leaning back
in her chair and studies my reaction. I have none, more or less
blank look. I know she’s right and it doesn’t make me feel any
better.
“
So, I’m ready for this
party on Friday night.”
“
Way to change the subject
Abby. Trying to deny the truth are ya?” I look away in annoyance.
“Alright well the bell is about to ring and I need to go to the
bathroom and my locker, so I’m out.” She gets up and dumps her
tray. She comes back and pats me on the head like a dog. “Seriously
Abby, things will work out the way they’re supposed to. Don’t fret
about it too much. Later.” I sit at the table alone, feeling like a
complete lame ass. I need new friends.
“
Abby, Abby.” And a new
sister.
“
What do you want Sarah?”
She sits down where Brooke was sitting and I glare at her as if
she’s the scum of the earth.
Lucas’s words come to
mind.
She just needs guidance
I push the thoughts aside and cross my arms
over my chest, still glaring at her.
“
Well I was going to ask
if you’ve heard about some awesome party that’s happening Friday
night.”
“
Yeah, I’ve heard
something. So what about it?”
“
Are you going? It’s
supposed to be bad ass.” Inside I laugh to myself because she
actually thinks she’s invited to go. First off Eric is throwing the
party and secondly Chelsea, who is Eric’s girlfriend, hates my
sister. No chance in Hell would she be invited. But I don’t say any
of that. Instead I just keep walking and ignoring her.
“
Seriously, this party
will be bumpin. Just wait, Eric throws the best parties! I’ve never
been but I hear from everyone else that it’s pretty awesome!”
Brooke says as we enter our gym class. I don’t feel like doing
stretches or running laps. But it keeps my mind off of Sarah. I
keep thinking about Lucas asking me to hang out after school today.
It’s not a good idea and I know this. “Yeah, well anything to keep
my mind afar. I’d like to forget life for a night and maybe do
something stupid or fun.” She smiles at me and we start running our
laps. Both of us outrunning most of the other students in our
class. I don’t even feel tired.