“
Hey baby!” I turn around
and find Brady smiling at me. My heart sinks because even though I
tell myself that I don’t care about Lucas anymore, I can’t lie to
myself. My heart knows all. I guess denying it is easier than
feeling the pain. I plaster a smile on my face.
Forget Lucas
I chide myself. “Hey,
you scared me.” I wrap my arms around his waist, clasping my
fingers together.
This is nice,
I think. “Let’s get some lunch.” He starts
pulling me toward the lunch line. “Oh, no I’m not hungry. I’m just
gonna go sit with Brooke. Just meet us over there.”
“
Are you okay? How can you
not be hungry?” Brady asks, concerned. I didn’t want to have to
explain my crisis with him and the fact that it has to do with my
ex boyfriend and my sister. So I felt it was best to dodge the
subject. I start walking away at the same time he pulls my arm back
toward him. “Hey, I heard about Lucas and Sarah. What the Hell is
that about?” Great. The one topic I didn’t want to discuss happens
to be the center of attention. I swear it seems everyone can read
my mind and uses it against me. I shrug and look at him. “Um, it’s
pretty weird I guess. But whatever, it’s Sarah’s life.”
Please let it go now
He considers for a moment. “Well but it’s
your ex and your sister. Isn’t that awkward?” Oh for the love of
God. My blood starts boiling and rage builds up inside me. I try to
compose myself before I lash out at him and then have to explain my
outburst is due to unresolved feelings for my ex and my anger with
my sister. “Look, I don’t want to talk about them. I’m going to sit
with Brooke now.” And I storm off leaving Brady staring after
me.
“
What was that about? I
saw you yelling at Brady.” I give her a quick glare before sitting
down at the table across from Brooke. “I didn’t yell at him. I
wanted to believe me.” She gives me a confused look and I clarify
myself.
“
He was asking questions
about Sarah and Lucas and they were the last people I wanted to
talk about.” Speaking of, they walk into the cafeteria holding
hands and laughing. I quickly avert my eyes back to Brooke like I
didn’t see them.
“
So what are you going to
do? Ugh, I can’t believe Sarah would do that to you!” She notices
my agitation and changes the subject. “So, this weekend is a big
party going on at Eric Peterson’s house. You game? You need some
fun in your life. Forget Sarah and Lucas. Just have some fun. What
do ya say?” I think about how much fun I wouldn’t have sitting
around at home, while everyone is at this party having a great time
and my mind is made up. “I’m in.”
“
Awesome! It will be great
Abby! I promise.” She smiles at me and finally my anger and rage
dissipates. Maybe this will be a good thing. Brady joins us with a
tray full of food and suddenly my stomach starts gargling. I should
have gotten some food myself. Brady leans over to me and says “Hey,
I got enough food in case you got hungry just sitting
here.”
Wow, he is thoughtful. I start to feel
guilty for not giving him my all the past few days and obsessing
over Lucas and Sarah. Maybe they deserve each other after all.
They’re both inconsiderate brats. I lean over and give Brady a peck
on the cheek shyly before taking a bite of his salad and an apple.
He looks over and smiles at me, showing his perfectly straight
white teeth. Things don’t seem too bad. I glance at Brooke and
she’s staring at me with an arched brow. I know she must be
thinking I’m crazy, going back and forth. I am crazy. But it won’t
happen anymore. It’s me and Brady for the long hall.
“
Hey, Abby.” Brady shakes
me out of my own thoughts and I look at him, spaced out. “What did
you say?” He shakes his head and starts eating again.
“
He was asking about the
party I told him about. So, you said you wanted to go. I think you
and Abby should pick me up and we can ride together.” I am totally
on board with getting some alcohol in my system. I can taste the
beer or tequila on my tongue. Damn, it’s only Tuesday. “Yes, that
would be a great idea. Right Brady?” I nudge his shoulder with my
own and he nudges me back. “Sounds like a plan ladies.” I look away
and out of the corner of my eye I see Lucas and Sarah sitting on a
bench. My anger comes back, mixed with jealousy. What does he see
in her anyway? I guess he likes them young. The party this weekend
sounds better and better. Maybe I can drown my sorrows.
Shortly after the bell rings we gather our
stuff and head to our next class. I walk to my locker and grab my
materials for Choir. “Hey, I will see you after class. I’ve got to
head to football practice now. Love you.” He kisses me on the head
and leaves. “Okay, see ya later.” I say, even though he’s already
gone.
“
So how’s it going sis?”
My skin goes cold and I whip around to look at my sister. She is
staring me down with a cocky grin, which I just want to slap right
off her face. “What do you want Sarah? You want to rub it in my
face that you won over Lucas just to piss me off? Well,
congratulations! I hope you two are happy!”
And I storm off, but not before she catches
up. I stop in my tracks and cross my arms over my chest. “Actually,
I wasn’t doing it just to piss you off. But since you seem to be
pissed off, I see that I’ve won. See, maybe Lucas is over you but
it seems to me you might still have some lingering feelings for
him. Does Brady know? I’m sure he’d love to hear that
information.”
I put my arms on my hips and glare at her.
“Excuse me, but I don’t have feelings for Lucas so you can shove
your assumptions up your ass. You know, you really should go to a
private school. Your attitude needs an adjustment. Big time.” I
walk away and this time she doesn’t follow me. I can feel the rage
screaming to get out of me. Why does she get to me so much? Why
does she hate me? I have always tried to be a good sister to her
and this is how she repays me. I’d rather be the bad one. Doesn’t
pay to be nice.
Chapter 5
Instead of participating in Choir last
period, I decide to skip and sit outside on the football field,
watching Brady’s football practice. I walk back to my locker and
drop off my stuff, leaving my back pack in there knowing we will
come back after school. I feel a tap on my shoulder and before I
can yell at my sister for bothering me, I turn around and see Lucas
standing in front of me. For a minute I’m frozen, unsure what to
say to him. Then I relax and give him a cold stare. “What do you
want?” He notices the hostility in my tone and winces.
“
Hey, I haven’t had a
chance to talk to you today. I wanted to explain things before you
got the wrong idea.” I put my hand up, stopping his speech. I
didn’t want or need to hear his excuses. He wasn’t the guy I
thought he was, point blank.
“
Save it Luke. There’s
nothing to explain. You’re not who I thought you were and you
proved that to me. Just go on and do your thing and leave me
alone.” I start walking away.
“
Hey, wait. I…”
“
Seriously, Lucas save
your breath. I don’t want to hear it.” I leave and don’t look back,
even though I desperately want to. I walk out to the football field
and sit in the stadium. I watch the passes and throws from the
players. I spot Brady and watch his plays, noticing how agile and
graceful he is. He could go pro, if he wanted. I start to stare off
into space and notice someone coming toward me. Then as they get
closer I see Brooke. I sigh from relief that it’s not Sarah. I
wouldn’t doubt that she would skip school just to torture me. “Hey,
thought I’d find you here.” Brooke sits down next to me and
stretches her legs in front of her.
“
Yeah? Why were you
looking for me?” I ask stretching my body as well.
“
Oh, I had a weird feeling
that you skipped class today. I figured something was bothering you
since you normally don’t skip on your own accord.” I give a slight
chuckle knowing she’s right. She knows me so well.
“
Well, spill
it.”
“
Okay, I ran into Sarah
and she pretty much shoved her relationship with Lucas in my face
and said I still had feelings for him and pretty much laughed at
me. Then on the way over here, I ran into Lucas and he wanted to
explain the situation and whatever. I pretty much told him to go
screw himself. But now I feel guilty for doing that. Even though I
told myself I would move on and forget him, I can’t Brooke. I just
can’t.” I feel tears start to sting my eyes and I wipe them away
with my arm. She rubs my arm sweetly and says “Wow, sounds like a
misfortune of events if you ask me. I’m sorry Abby. I know this is
all hard on you. I wish I knew how to comfort you. But in a few
days we’ll go out and party and you can focus on having a good time
and everything else will fall away.”
“
I hope so. I really want
some alcohol now.” I stare out at the field and see Brady getting a
drink of water. He sees me and waves. I smile.
“
Hey, if you need to stay
over again you’re more than welcome to.” I consider it for a
minute. I actually consider asking if I can move in with her until
we graduate. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with my sister’s bull
shit. But I think about my mom and decide against it. As much as
I’d love to be out of that house now, I know it’s best to stick it
out, for my mother’s sake anyway.
“
Thanks Brooke, but I
think I will go home tonight. I can drive you home after school
though.” She nods smiling and looks away. The final bell rings for
the last class and we both jump. Then we laugh at how paranoid we
are and stand to retreat into the school. Brady runs off the field
and catches up to me. “Did you see me practicing? I didn’t know you
were gonna skip class to watch me babe. What did you
think?”
He wraps his arms around me in a hug and I
snuggle his neck. “Well I didn’t plan on doing that actually. It
was a spur of the moment type of thing. But I thought it would be
nice to watch my boyfriend run around the football field like a
pro. You know, you really should play football in college. You’re
so quick and you look sexy doing it.” I smile and he kisses my
mouth with such force, it leaves me breathless. He pulls back and
looks at me. “Actually I have some news. I talked to my coach and
he thinks I could get into a good college on a football
scholarship. Isn’t that awesome?” I smile but it fades as soon as I
think about the options he could have. Would it separate us? What
would become of our future? I still have no clue if I’m going to
New York or not yet. I don’t discuss it with him though. I just let
him have his happy moment before I break my news to him. I slap on
my happy face and hug him.
“
That’s so awesome! You
know you’re going to get into one with no problem. So which one are
you planning on applying to?” Maybe if he goes to a school in New
York or at least in any of the surrounding states, it wouldn’t be
so bad. “I don’t know yet. I haven’t made up my mind. But I guess
we’ll see soon enough.” We walk back to our lockers to get our
stuff. I start to wonder if I’m supposed to take Sarah home. Then I
quickly dismiss the thought. She can find her own ride home. I walk
over to Brooke’s locker across the hall from me. Brady meets us
there and puts his around over my shoulder. She turns around to
look at me. “Hey, are you taking your sister home?”
“
Nope, she can find a ride
home.” We walk to the parking lot. Brady finds his truck. We say
our goodbyes and walk to my car. I get a text on my phone. I open
it as I get in the driver’s seat and see it’s from Brady. A smile
creeps on my lips, replaced by guilt.
“
I love you. Call you
later.”
I close my phone and the put the keys in the
ignition and start it up, pulling out of the parking lot. “So now
that we’re alone, what do you think of Brady applying at schools on
a football scholarship?” Brooke asks as soon as we’re on the
highway. “I think it would be great for him. He is really good and
I think college would be the way to go.” I stare out at the road,
hearing Brooke move around antsy.
“
What if he gets into a
school far from you?” The words settle in my brain and I can’t help
but ask myself the same question. Maybe this will be a test to see
where our relationship will go. But it’s not Brady I’m thinking of
anymore. Suddenly my thoughts are clouded with Lucas’s face and I
shove them away. “I don’t know to be honest. I mean, I’m not sure
what I’m gonna do yet. So our future together is still uncertain at
this point. It could go either way.” I glance in her direction and
see her giving me a smirk. “You’re thinking about Lucas aren’t
you?” This girl doesn’t miss a thing. I seriously wonder if she’s
psychic or if I’m that obvious.
“
Yea, I’m not going to
lie, he’s constantly on my mind. Maybe I should have given him a
chance to explain things.” She’s shaking her head and says “No,
maybe you should forget him for now. You’ve got to figure things
out with Brady first. If he goes to a faraway school or something
and y’all break up, maybe then you should patch things up or talk
to him. You don’t want to go down that road again. At least not
yet.” I can’t tell if she’s serious or just trying to look out for
me. But either way, I appreciate her love and protectiveness. I
pull up in front of her house and put the car in park. “Well, if
you need anything don’t hesitate. Just come on over. I love you
Abby! I want things to work out for you, no matter what that might
be. I’m here regardless and will support anything you do or don’t
do.” I hug her tight.