Authors: Cathy MacPhail
Diane had just said, ‘What a dump.’ Seeing it through her eyes, I realised with a shudder she was right
.
Diane had to move here because of her father’s job. He’s just had a promotion. ‘And what about your dad?’ she asked me then. ‘What does he do?’
I was so glad the bell rang just at that moment, and we had to hurry to our next class. I didn’t want to answer that question. I didn’t know what to say
.
Because, maybe when she knows the truth about J.B., and she will find out – if I don’t tell her someone else is bound to – she won’t want to be my friend any more. And if I lose the chance of having a friend like Diane because of J.B. I’ll never forgive him
.
He was making dinner when I came home from school that day. At first I was determined not to eat it. But it smelt so good and I was
so
hungry that I relented – besides he makes one cracking lasagne. He always has. The very smell of it reminded me of days long ago, when he’d spend all his
spare time in the kitchen insisting Mum relax and read her book, while he ‘created a masterpiece’. I was the only one allowed in the kitchen with him. ‘Only to you, my firstborn, and heir to all I possess, will I pass on my secrets,’ he would say. How he used to make me laugh. He’d pretend he was one of those TV chefs and I was his audience. He’d prance about and overact and …
I shook the memory away. It hurt too much. Because even then he’d been lying to us and cheating. A crook, and we didn’t know it.
Margo sat in her high chair, her nose running, beating on her tray with her chubby little fists. Jonny was showing him the work he’d done in school that day.
‘I had to write my diary. All about Christmas,’ he said.
‘Oh, that would be interesting, Jonny,’ I said. I couldn’t help sniggering. ‘My Christmas list. I got a computer game and a fire engine … oh, and my daddy home from jail.’
There was a sudden, awkward silence. ‘That’s enough, Lissa!’ Mum snapped. I was getting a bit fed up with Mum. It seemed to me she’d forgiven him too easily and she wasn’t even trying to understand how I felt.
‘I won’t go back into prison. I promise,’ J.B. said, spooning mouth-watering lasagne on to my plate. ‘I’m finished with all that.’ It was an apology of sorts, but I didn’t
even meet his eyes. ‘I’m going to get a job soon. I’ve sent out letters and CVs everywhere. I’ve had an offer,’ he glanced at Mum when he said that. ‘And I will take it if nothing better comes along. You’ll see, I’ll get a good job and I’ll make you proud of me again.’
Mum touched his hand then as if he’d said something wonderful. He bent towards her and kissed her. How could she kiss him? And in front of her children. It was disgusting after what he’d done. If it hadn’t been for me it could have been like an episode from the Waltons.
Margo didn’t seem to think it was disgusting. But then, at two and a half she didn’t know any better. I tutted loudly to show them I didn’t approve, but they ignored me. Caught up in their own world as usual.
So, he was finished with all that was he? Lucky I didn’t believe him or I would have been disappointed. Next morning, after Mum had gone to work taking Jonny with her to school, who appeared at our front door, but Magnus Pierce.
Magnus Pierce. He was the Big Boss that J.B. had protected. Someone the papers described as ‘a truly dangerous man’. The police, it seemed, knew all about him, but could never get the proof they needed to put him behind bars.
I will never forget the first time I met him. A big, imposing figure, he had come into J.B.’s office and sat on his desk as if he owned the whole place, (which, of course, I learned later that he did). He oozed richness and I liked that about him. Gold rings on both his pinkies, and a very expensive gold watch and diamond studs on his shirt cuffs. I could almost see my face in the shine of his brown leather shoes. I was fascinated by him.
‘Hi, Magnus,’ J.B. had greeted him like an old friend and they shook hands.
‘Jonathan,’ Magnus said and his clear, green eyes moved to me and smiled. ‘And this is Lissa? Why, she’s beautiful. She’s so like your wife.’
(I’m not actually, I’ve got her hair and her eyes, but the ugly fizzog I’ve definitely inherited from J.B.)
If Magnus Pierce had tried to ruffle my hair then or pat my cheek I would have hated him, but he didn’t. Instead, he held out his hand to me, just as he’d done to J.B. and introduced himself.
‘I’m Magnus Pierce, Lissa. One of your dad’s associates. Pleased to meet you.’ He made me feel grown-up and special. How was I to know then just how vicious and horrible this man really was?
J.B. had shouldered all the blame for the fraud and dirty
dealings which were going on in their so-called ‘business’. Just a front for all sorts of dodgy and criminal activities. He’d protected this man, Magnus Pierce. Instead of helping the police to put him behind bars where he belonged, he had protected him. And now here he was, back at our front door.
Had he watched for Mum going off to work before he arrived? I bet he had. He was certainly surprised to see me still there. When I opened the door to him he blinked. That was all, but it was enough for me to realise he hadn’t expected to see me at all. Hadn’t expected anyone to be at home but J.B. and Margo.
‘You’ve grown since the last time I saw you,’ he said.
‘Yes. Growing up happens when you’re my age.’
He smiled broadly, didn’t seem the least offended by my cheek.
‘Spirit. That’s what you’ve got,’ he said. ‘And I like that.’
How had I ever been taken in by this horrible man? How had J.B.? He was sleazy. He had it written all over him.
J.B. appeared from the kitchen with Margo clutched in his arms. He didn’t look too pleased to see him either. ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked.
‘Jonathan,’ Magnus Pierce stepped past me and into our house. ‘So good to see you again.’
I wanted J.B. to turf him out. Tell him to go. I was disappointed that he didn’t.
‘Go to school, Lissa,’ was all he said, dismissing me. I slammed the door shut in my anger.
It was all going to start again. I just knew it.
I was still feeling down about Magnus Pierce’s visit when I got to school.
‘Lissa? Is everything all right?’ It was Diane, and she seemed genuinely concerned. It seemed she’d been waiting by the gates especially for me. ‘You don’t mind if I tag along with you? I don’t know anybody else. And quite honestly …’ she surveyed the playground with a sneer, ‘… I don’t know if I like anybody else.’ Her eyes rested on Ralph Aird who was heading a football against a wall. About all his head is good for if you ask me. ‘Except for him,’ Diane said. ‘He’s a bit dishy.’
I almost choked with shock. ‘Ralph Aird? Are you kidding? Or is there something wrong with your eyesight?’
Diane drew her eyes back to mine. ‘Oh, I know, he’s so common. Not our kind of people at all.’
Our kind of people. I liked how she said that, including me in her special little circle. She didn’t know about J.B., I thought. If only I could keep it that way.
We spent the whole day together, going from class to class, giggling and whispering. I put her in the picture about everyone. About Nancy and Asra and how they used to be my best friends.
‘Why the “used to be”?’ Diane asked. ‘What happened?’
I had forgotten she might ask that. I coughed trying to think of an answer. Finally I just shrugged. ‘You know what they say. Two’s company. Three …’
‘Always leads to someone being left out,’ Diane finished for me. ‘I don’t like the look of them anyway.’ And she steered me past them, her nose in the air.
I told her about the teachers too. Mrs Gregson, the geography teacher who was always locking herself in the cupboard. ‘I’m sure she does it on purpose,’ I told Diane. ‘Just to get away from the class.’
‘She’s such a mouse, isn’t she?’ Diane said with a giggle. And she was, really, with her wisps of grey hair sticking out of a bun at the back of her head and her pursed, nervous little lips always twitching.
As she passed, Diane made little squeaking mousey sounds. I almost laughed out loud, but Mrs Gregson
turned quickly and blushed. For a minute I thought she was going to say something, but she didn’t.
‘Of course, she didn’t,’ Diane said later. ‘She’s too much of a mouse.’
What really sent her into the giggles was the sight of Harry Ball, the fattest boy in the school, getting stuck in the turnstile in the school canteen.
At first I was a bit embarrassed, because Harry actually caught us laughing and he looked hurt.
‘He deserves it,’ Diane told me. ‘He should go on a diet and lose some weight. Then no one would be able to laugh at him, would they?’
I had never seen it that way before, but now that Diane said it, it seemed so true.
Suddenly, a great voice boomed behind us. Murdo, and he had heard everything. ‘With a robust personality like Harry’s he needs those ample proportions.’ He didn’t look pleased. As Harry Ball tried to waddle past us, he grabbed him by the collar and dragged him round to face us. ‘Yes, he is fat, isn’t he?’ He held him in front of us for our inspection. Diane didn’t know Murdo, didn’t understand his methods. She thought he was agreeing with us and she smirked. His voice suddenly roared. ‘But one day,’ he said, shaking Harry about like a rag doll, ‘this fat boy will
probably be running the country. He’ll be Chancellor of the Exchequer with the mathematical brain he’s got.’ Harry’s blush became a confident grin.
Murdo’s angry gaze fixed on Diane. ‘And what will you be doing then, Diane Connell? Hoping he won’t be putting up your taxes probably. And wishing you’d been nicer to him at school so you could appeal to his better nature.’ He grinned, with black spotted teeth. Black pudding had been on the menu for lunch.
‘I won’t have a better nature where they’re concerned, sir,’ Harry said, and shaking himself free he was off.
Murdo stared at both of us. The grin gone. I couldn’t hold his gaze, but credit to Diane, she could.
‘So, you’ve found a friend,’ he said.
And I wasn’t exactly sure which one of us he was referring to.
The day had gone well, until we were going home. Ralph and his cronies were waiting by the school gates. Diane linked her arm in mine and dragged me past them.
‘Come on, Lissa,’ she said. ‘If we get any closer to this lot we’ll need to be disinfected.’
Ralph sneered. ‘You’ve found a mate, Lissa. Another wee snob just like you.’
Diane sucked in her cheeks and glared at them. She was good at doing that. ‘Some people have every right to be snobs.’
‘But not our Lissa,’ Ralph said. ‘Or hasn’t she told you her secret yet?’
I wanted to run then. Get away as quickly as I could. But I couldn’t move. I just knew what was coming next.
‘You might not be so friendly with her if you knew what her daddy is.’
I wanted to run at Ralph Aird, punch him right in the gob.
Diane took her arm out of mine. ‘What haven’t you told me, Lissa?’
I swallowed. I wished the ground would open up and I could sink right into it. Ralph was smiling. Just waiting for the right second to give Diane the news.
‘Lissa’s dad’s a jailbird, just like mine.’
January 16th
Diane Connell is wonderful. My very best friend, forever. She totally proved it today, proved she’s going to be the best friend anyone could ever have. When Ralph Aird told her about J.B., did she scowl? Did she walk away from me with her nose in the air?
Did she heck!
She looked at me. Looked at Ralphie boy and she lifted her eyebrows haughtily. ‘Lissa can’t be blamed for what her father is,’ she said, smugly. ‘Even if the likes of you can.’
He hadn’t expected that. He thought she’d seemed so much of a snob he expected her to fling me from her dramatically and stride away with her pert little nose in the air. (To be quite honest, so did I.) Instead, she linked her arm in mine again, and with a giggle pulled me past Ralph and his moronic friends
.
It will go down as one of the great moments of my life. I’ll never forget Ralph’s face as we ran off. Totally gobsmacked!
Later, she wanted to know all about J.B. and what he’d done. The gory details, she said. And I told her
.
I’ve never really talked about it before, but I told Diane everything. How I felt about him being in prison and how I hated him now that he was out
.
And Diane agreed with everything I said. We’re so alike it’s unbelievable. She’d feel exactly the same in my position, she said
.
At last, I have a friend to confide in besides this diary
.
The only thing I didn’t tell her about was Magnus Pierce. He scares me too much
.
‘Can I ask you a favour, Lissa?’ I remember now that J.B. came into my bedroom just as I’d finished writing my diary that day. I closed the book hurriedly and he glanced at it. ‘You keep a diary now, do you?’
‘Since I lost all my friends when you were sent to jail I had to have someone to confide in, didn’t I?’ That made him blush. And what favour could he possibly want from me?
He sat at the bottom of my bed. ‘It’s about Magnus Pierce.’
I felt my stomach churn. Even the mention of his name now frightened me.
‘I don’t want Mum to know he was here today. It would only upset her.’
‘Yes, it would, wouldn’t it,’ I snapped back at him. ‘Especially after all your promises.’
He was shaking his head. ‘No. You’re wrong, sweetheart. I didn’t know he was coming. I told him never to come back here. I never want to see him, or hear from him again. You’ve got to believe that, Lissa. Just give me this one chance.’
Had he told Magnus Pierce all this? Or had Magnus Pierce come here to pay him off for keeping his mouth shut? That’s what they did. I’d seen it in a movie once.
‘If your Mum knows, she’ll only worry. And there’s nothing for her to worry about.’
I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I don’t care what you do.’ And I walked out of the room and left him sitting there. I didn’t say I’d tell Mum, and I didn’t say I wouldn’t. Let him stew for a while. Let him worry. It was about time he did.