Authors: Cathy MacPhail
‘No one wants to be my partner, Miss,’ I told her.
‘Nonsense, Lissa!’ and just then to my utter astonishment and terror, Ralph Aird stepped forward.
‘I’ll be her partner, Miss.’
Miss Day beamed. ‘Ah good, Ralph. That’s what I like to see, turning the other cheek.’
Miss Day lived in a born-again Christian world, but I was afraid that if I turned the other cheek to Ralph Aird he’d most probably punch it.
Ralph Aird came to my table without a word. There was a smug look on his face – but there was always a smug look about him now. As if he’d won something over me. Now, he had friends galore. He was included in every group, smiled on by teachers, especially Murdo who was always involved in deep conversations with him. Now, he never missed school. I had begun to think I had done him a favour destroying that collage.
Yet I still remembered the way he had spat out those words at me. ‘You’re goin’ to be sorry.’ And he still made me afraid.
Ralph Aird had been a wasp up my nose for too long to think he’d just fly off without stinging me. Every night I waited to hear our old car’s windows being smashed, or maybe I’d wake in the midnight dark and sniff, sure I could detect the smell of petrol being poured across the doorstep before he set our whole house ablaze.
All I knew was he was planning to do something.
I held my breath as he came toward me. Would it be today? An accident in the science lesson? I glanced at a jug of maggots Miss Day had ready for one of her experiments. I had a sudden nightmare vision of Ralph Aird grabbing them and pouring them down my throat. There would certainly be plenty of people willing to hold me down while he did.
‘Can’t have wee Lissa on her own, can we?’ he said sarcastically.
‘Doesn’t bother me,’ I told him.
‘’Course it does. You used to be the big shot. And now, look at you. Not a soul’s even talking to you.’
He was trying to goad me but I wouldn’t listen.
‘Don’t care.’
Still he couldn’t let it go. ‘Nobody likes you, Lissa. But do you know what I tell them? Because I’m always sticking up for you.’ He sniggered. ‘I tell them,’ his voice was soft, so soft Miss Day would never hear him, ‘I tell them to feel sorry for you. Because you’re pathetic. Really pathetic.’
And that’s when he really got through to me. Not with his hate, and not with his threats, but I just couldn’t, wouldn’t take his pity.
I looked around for something handy, and there it was, that big jug of maggots. I lifted it and before he knew what was happening I had tipped the whole squirming lot over Ralph’s head.
You could have heard him yell in California. He did a war dance and shook his head wildly. The maggots were everywhere. The whole class went wild. I was screamed at and called every horrible name under the sun. It was lucky I was in Miss born-again Christian Day’s class
or I would probably have been expelled. As it was, I was sent to the headmaster and reprimanded. I didn’t care. I’d shown Ralph Aird that there was nothing pathetic about me!
But I just had to get out of that school. I screamed that at Mum when she got home that night. ‘Why can’t I go to Adler Academy?’ I yelled.
‘With Diane Connell?’ J.B. said softly. He was already shaking his head. ‘The sooner she goes there the better. Get you two separated and maybe both of you will behave like human beings.’
‘She’s the only friend I’ve got!’ Why couldn’t they understand that? They both knew that no one spoke to me at school any more, except Diane.
‘That’s your fault,’ he had the nerve to say. ‘It’s up to you to prove you’re not as bad as they think.’
That was rich coming from him. ‘Like you, I suppose.’
He stood right in front of me, making it impossible for me not to look at him. ‘I want to tell you something, Lissa. I brought you up to think you were better than other people. I worked hard, but I wanted money and more money. So you could dress better than other people, live in a better house. Have better holidays. Material
things, Lissa. I thought that’s what was important. I brought you up to think that too. But it’s people who matter, Lissa. I’ve tried all my life to get away from my background, from the poverty I had when I was a boy. But I’m going to tell you something you don’t know.’ He hesitated, and sat on the edge of the sofa so that his eyes were level with mine. ‘You never knew your granny, my mother. She died before you were born. But do you know what she was, Lissa? She was a cleaner in the schools. She worked really hard all her life. You should be proud of her. I should have been proud of her. Instead, I was ashamed. I wanted something better – and I didn’t care how I got it.’
Why did he have to tell me these things now? He’d never told me this before. Why now?
‘You still want to go to Adler Academy?’
Mum stepped in angrily. ‘It’s out of the question anyway! Adler Academy costs money!’
‘That’s OK. He can pay for it with his new job.’
I’d caught him off guard. His face flushed red, his eyes darted to Mum’s.
‘What new job?’ she asked.
‘Didn’t tell you about that, did he? Didn’t tell you about the phone calls either, eh? Or the sneaky visits somewhere.
Must be a new job … a new job with an old boss, called Magnus Pierce!’
And I ran out of the room and upstairs and the last thing I heard before I slammed my door shut was Mum’s worried voice. ‘Jonny, not again. What’s going on?’
May 29th
I met Magnus Pierce today as I walked home from school. I’m sure he was waiting for me. His big Mercedes was parked by the kerb. I knew it was his by the registration plate. MAG 1. I would have crossed the street to avoid him but by the time I noticed his car I was too close. And anyway, suddenly he stepped from the car and held the door open so that it blocked my way. He was so tall, so broad, so threatening. Yet, anyone seeing him with me would have thought he was, perhaps, a favourite uncle
.
‘Lissa!’ he said, as if in total surprise. The street was alive with people, brushing past me, rushing to catch buses, but suddenly, I felt very alone. ‘I’m so glad I met you. You can pass a message on to your dad. Tell him to give me a call, will you? Let me know how he’s getting on.’
Doesn’t he realise I know they’ve been phoning each other? I didn’t say that, of course. I didn’t say anything
.
He asked how things were with me, but I only shrugged my shoulders. And then he said something that shocked me
.
‘They’d be better if you were going to that Adler Academy though, wouldn’t they?’
Does he know everything? Of course, he must. J.B. probably tells him
.
Though, when I got home, he pretended to be surprised when I told him. No, more than surprised, horrified. Good actor, J.B
.
‘You met Magnus Pierce!’ he said and he grabbed me by the shoulders, looking all concerned. As I said, good actor
.
‘Yes. And he insisted I tell you.’
And he had. As he stepped back into the Mercedes he had said softly, ‘You take care going home now. These days you can’t be too careful.’ Then he smiled his bright white scary smile. ‘You make sure you tell your dad I was speaking to you.’
‘Don’t ever talk to him again,’ J.B. snapped at me
.
Who is he trying to fool? Does he think I haven’t noticed his suspicious behaviour?
‘Please, Lissa, Magnus Pierce is dangerous. I’m doing my best to protect you. If only you knew …’ He sounded so sincere I almost believed him, except that as soon as I was in the kitchen pouring myself some milk there he was back on the phone, his voice a whisper
.
I had passed the message on. ‘Get in touch, J.B.,’ Magnus Pierce had said. And he had
.
After that day, everything seems to have moved so fast. Like a rocket spiralling out of control. I remember the next day so well.
I had never seen Murdo so smug. He strode up and down the class, saying nothing. Humming some tuneless Highland lilt. You always know when Murdo is angry. He bellows, he throws chalk around the room, he slams down his desk, spittle bursts through his clenched teeth. And his hair goes wild.
And you always know when he’s happy. Because he hums tunelessly, just as he did that day. As we all trooped into his classroom he beamed at every one of us, even Diane and I. It was all very fishy. The whole class knew that something was in the wind but he waited until we were all seated before he decided to put us out of our misery.
He rubbed his hands together, gleefully. ‘I have wonderful news. Wonderful news,’ he said in mounting excitement. And when Murdo got excited he could spit for Britain. ‘Our school has received a great honour. We should be very proud. The Council has chosen one of our number to design its new Millennium Logo. One of our
number. Someone in this class. I wonder if any of you can guess who it is?’
But we didn’t have to guess for long, because Murdo’s smile focused on only one person. Ralph Aird.
‘Come here, Ralph, and stand beside me.’ He opened his arms to welcome him and Ralph stood up sheepishly. He had a look on his face that was a cross between smugness and embarrassment.
‘Come here, Ralph,’ Murdo said, ‘and bask in some glory.’
Ralph shuffled towards him.
Murdo continued. ‘Our Ralph has been commissioned. Commissioned, mind you.’ He pointed a stubby finger at Harry Ball. ‘Tell me what commissioned means, boy!’
Harry spluttered trying to think of an answer. ‘Is it something to do with a prison sentence, sir?’
The class fell about laughing. Even Ralph Aird giggled.
Murdo raised his eyes hopelessly. ‘You may be a whizz kid at maths, Harry, but your command of the English language is deplorable. Commissioned!’ he explained to us, with some extra spit, ‘in this case means he’s getting paid for his work!’ There was a gasp from the class.
Ralph stood up straighter, pride written all over him. Murdo slapped him on the back. ‘Yes. We have a professional artist in our midst!’
Murdo began to clap then and, without hesitation, so did the rest of the class. Not hesitantly, but with enthusiasm and pride, like I’d never heard before.
‘Good on ye, Ralphie boy!’ someone shouted.
‘Terrific!’ Nancy called to him.
Even Asra stood up and gave him an extra special cheer.
Of course it was all Murdo’s doing, I told myself. Working behind the scenes, making sure Ralph’s potential wasn’t lost forever. But as I listened to the class applauding, and watched their faces, their genuine pleasure for Ralph’s success, I felt alone. None of them had spoken to me in weeks because of what I’d done and I hated them and yet, here they were delighted for Ralph Aird of all people.
I looked at him beaming like an idiot and I realised with dismay, I was jealous, jealous of Ralph Aird. In that same moment, he looked at me. He always looked at me with disgust, as if he hated me and for a second that was the look he gave me. And then, the look changed to a puzzled frown and then gave way to a smile that spread across his face. And I knew he could read the envy in my face.
Diane leaned toward me and tugged on my arm. ‘He probably only got it because they felt sorry for him. He’s a loser.’
‘WHAT WAS THAT!’
Murdo’s voice boomed out and the applause died in an instant. Silence fell. Total silence.
Murdo took a deep breath and strode up the aisle to where Diane sat. ‘Stand up, Miss Connell.’
Diane flushed and licked her lips.
He stopped right in front of her.
At first I thought she was going to refuse but after a moment she got to her feet, defiance in her every move.
‘Now, why don’t you share with the class what you just said?’
Diane wouldn’t even meet his gaze. She didn’t answer him, but I could tell by the nerve throbbing in her cheek just how angry she was.
‘Forgotten already, have you?’ Murdo looked round at the rest of the class who had all turned to face him. ‘Shall I tell you what she said?’
He turned back to Diane. ‘Diane Connell says that Ralph only got that commission because the Council felt sorry for him. Did you hear that, Ralph?’
Even then his gaze never left Diane.
I glanced at Ralph and his smile had disappeared.
Murdo continued. ‘This is our Council, by the way, which evicts old ladies from their homes if they can’t pay their rent. This is our Council, which throws blind people out of
our libraries when they try to bring in their guide dogs.’ He batted his eyes in feigned shock and the class began to snigger. ‘Ooo, but they’re all heart when it comes to our Ralph. Och, they decided, the poor wee laddie. Let’s give him this commission. He’s rubbish but we just feel so sorry for him.’
Now he was laughing too. He smiled over at Ralph. ‘Och, isn’t that nice, Ralph?’
For a moment he let the class laugh. Laugh with him, and laugh at Diane. And Diane didn’t like it one bit.
Suddenly his voice became an angry roar again. ‘Do you know what your problem is, Diane Connell? The only way you can feel important is to belittle other people. And I am telling you now, and I genuinely hope it helps you to know this, that true greatness comes from recognising other people’s worth. Maybe then, you can find your own.’
He stared straight at her. I knew, because I know the kind of teacher Murdo is, that he really did want her to understand that. He wanted to change something in Diane. But Diane wouldn’t look back at him. She kept her eyes downcast, and sucked in her cheeks as if she had something sour in her mouth.
Finally, he shook his head. ‘Stay behind after class, Diane. I want to talk to you.’ And he began to walk back down the aisle to Ralph.
And suddenly, the class were applauding again, only this time they were applauding Murdo.
I stood at the door while Murdo spoke to Diane. His voice was soft at first, but grew steadily louder when he realised he was getting no response from her.
‘Lass! I’m only trying to help you!’ he yelled at her. ‘Do you want to go through your whole life being totally obnoxious?’