Bang Goes a Troll (3 page)

“W
HO'S SPOTTER
NOR8?” U
LF ASKED
, FOLLOWING
Dr. Fielding as she carried the messenger bat into Farraway Hall.

“I'll have to check the spotters' database,” Dr. Fielding said.

Spotters were voluntary members of the RSPCB stationed around the world. They were essential to the RSPCB's global operations, relaying data on beast activity in the wild.

Dr. Fielding was hurrying down the corridor. Ulf ran after her, holding the message in his hand. “Do you think it's an emergency?” he asked. All the
message said was HELP!

“Hopefully it's nothing serious,” Dr. Fielding replied, opening the door of the data room.

Ulf stuffed the message in his pocket as he went inside.

The data room was the hub of the RSPCB Spotter Network. Pinned to the walls were maps and letters, and photographs of beasts. There was a spotters' board where beast sightings were recorded, shelves stacked with reports, and a desk with a computer and a small bat-cage beside it.

Dr. Fielding placed the messenger bat in the cage, then sat at the computer to check the spotters' database. She tapped in the code NOR8 and the computer began searching.

Ulf saw Tiana waving at the window. He opened it and she flew in and landed by the bat-cage.

“I'll feed it,” she said. With both hands the fairy pried the lid from a tin marked
MESSENGER MEALS
. She picked out a dried grasshopper and poked it
through the bars of the cage.

While the bat nibbled, Ulf looked at the spotters' board, reading the spotter codes on recent beast sightings from around the world:

SPOTTER AUS129: Mermaid spotted in Sydney harbor, Australia.

SPOTTER GBR215: Demon sighted at Westminster Cathedral, England.

SPOTTER USA333: Nixies found nesting in cornfield in Fairfield, Iowa. First of the season!

SPOTTER NEP56: Yeti footprints seen near food stores at Mount Everest base camp.

“That's odd,” Dr. Fielding said.

Ulf turned to the computer screen. It said
SPOTTER INACTIVE
.

“It must be one of the old ones,” Dr. Fielding said. She spun her chair to face the door, then put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. A small hand-shaped beast came scuttling on its fingertips
into the room. It ran up the leg of her desk and tapped its finger, awaiting instructions. It was the Helping Hand, a busy beast that helped Dr. Fielding with the RSPCB paperwork. “Can you see what we've got on NOR8?” Dr. Fielding asked it.

The Helping Hand scuttled to a cupboard in the corner. It pulled open the door with its fingers, and bundles of paper fell out onto the floor. The cupboard was stuffed full. The Helping Hand began rifling through folders and notes. Ulf watched as it pulled out sheets of paper, tossing them to the side. Then it disappeared to the back of the cupboard and Ulf heard rustling. The Helping Hand was leafing through the very oldest of the spotter files—spotters who had not been in contact with the RSPCB since the database was computerized.

“Most of the older spotters are inactive now,” Dr. Fielding explained.

The Helping Hand came scurrying out holding a tatty sheet of paper. It climbed on to the table and
handed the paper to Dr. Fielding.

“Thank you,” she said.

Ulf looked. She was holding a form, creased and yellowed with age, and filled in by hand with black ink. On the top of the form it said
RSPCB SPOTTER LICENSE
and in the upper corner was the code
NOR
8. Stapled to the form was a black-and-white photograph.

“How peculiar,” Dr. Fielding said. She showed the photograph to Ulf. It was of a beast with large white eyes, pointy ears, and a fat snout. “Spotter NOR8 is a goblin,” she said.

“A goblin!” Tiana cried, looking up from the bat-cage.

“What's strange about that?” Ulf asked.

“I haven't heard of a goblin being a spotter before,” Dr. Fielding told him. She read the form. “Name: Gumball.”

“Goblins are revolting, Ulf,” Tiana said. “They're dirty and smelly. And they steal things.”

Dr. Fielding frowned at the fairy. “Tiana, that's not nice.”

“Well, it's true,” the fairy said. “Goblins shouldn't be allowed to be spotters.”

Dr. Fielding continued reading. “Stationed in Norway.”

“Norway?” Ulf asked.

“A place called Honeycomb Mountain. That messenger bat's flown all the way across the sea.”

Dr. Fielding typed “Honeycomb Mountain” into her computer, pulling up information from the database. “Honeycomb Mountain is in the Jotunheim Range.”

A three-dimensional digital image of a mountain came up on the computer screen. It was riddled with holes and caves and a network of tunnels.

“It's a habitat for underground beasts,” she said.

Dr. Fielding clicked on images of wraith spiders, elephant leeches, cave mantises, sword serpents, and longtusk trolls.

“What do you think's happened there?” Ulf asked.

“I expect the goblin's just got stuck in a hole,” she said.

“Goblins are always poking their noses into places they're not meant to,” Tiana added.

Ulf watched as Dr. Fielding plugged in a handheld GPS tracker and downloaded the information from the computer.

“You're not
going
there, are you?” Tiana asked. “It's only a goblin.”

“Even so, I should check it out,” Dr. Fielding said. “I'll take the helicopter.”

She pulled up a satellite map on the computer screen to check the weather. It was swirling with dark cloud. “There's a storm over the ocean. It's blowing this way,” she said. “I'll leave first thing in the morning, as soon as the sky's clear.”

“Can I come with you?” Ulf asked her. He'd
never met a goblin before. Despite what Tiana had said, he thought he'd like to.

“It's okay, Orson will come with me,” Dr. Fielding told him. She got up and stepped to the door. “We won't be gone long.”

“But I might be able to help,” Ulf said.

“The wild's a dangerous place, Ulf,” Dr. Fielding told him. “Anyway, I need you to look after things here.” She left the room and headed off down the corridor.

Ulf felt disappointed. He never got to go on expeditions.

“Who on earth would make a goblin a spotter?” Tiana muttered. She was stroking the bat through the bars of the cage.

Ulf looked down at the Spotter License. He read the RSPCB oath printed on it:

“I do solemnly swear to preserve and protect the wild. From this day forth,
I pledge my allegiance to beasts.”

Under the oath was a signature scrawled in awkward handwriting:

GUMBALL

Below it was written:

Professor J.E. Farraway

“It was Professor Farraway,” Ulf said. “Professor Farraway made the goblin a spotter.”

“He must have been crazy,” Tiana muttered.

Ulf frowned at her.

Professor Farraway had lived at Farraway Hall a long time ago. He'd been the world's first cryptozoologist and the founder of the RSPCB.

Just then, Ulf heard moanings and groanings coming from upstairs. He rushed to the door of the data room and poked his head out.

“Where are you going?”

Tiana asked. “Listen. It's him, Tiana,” Ulf said. Professor Farraway's ghost now haunted the old library at Farraway Hall. “Let's see what he wants.”

Ulf started running down the corridor to the staircase.

“But it's spooky up there,” Tiana called, flying after him. Ulf was climbing the stairs. “Come back, Ulf,” she said.

Ulf looked down. The little fairy was perched on the banister. Her wing tips were quivering. “You're not frightened are you?” Ulf asked.

“Of course I'm not,” the fairy replied, crossing her arms.

Ulf reached his hand down to her. “Come on. There's nothing to be afraid of.”

Tiana held tightly to the hairs on Ulf's palm. “Just promise me we'll stick together,” she said.

U
LF HEADED UP THE STAIRS WITH
T
IANA IN HIS
hand. He crept along the Gallery of Science and through the Room of Curiosities, past RSPCB artifacts and equipment from early expeditions. He stopped at a door on the far wall, the entrance to the old library where the noncorporeal beasts lived: ghosts, ghouls, and spectres. Moanings and groanings were coming from inside. “Ready?” he asked Tiana.

But before she could reply, the door creaked open. In the gloom of the library, Ulf saw a glowing blue mist disappearing through cracks between the floorboards. In the corner of the room a screaming
mouth vanished into the wall, and on the upper reading level three ghostly gray heads rose up through the ceiling.

Ulf could feel Tiana clinging to his finger as the moanings and groanings fell silent. From the darkness on the far side of the library, Ulf saw a candle floating toward him. Its flame was f lickering, lighting up the bookshelves.

“Professor, is that you?” he asked.

The candle drifted past Ulf's side and he felt a cold chill as the Professor's ghost went straight through him.

“Where's he going?” Tiana whispered.

The candle floated out through the doorway into the Room of Curiosities, hovering over boxes and crates.

“Professor, come back,” Ulf called, stepping after him.

The candle weaved between glass cabinets and cases. It floated past a dragon's tethering chain on the
wall, and the chain began rattling. It hovered over a jar of vampire teeth, and the teeth began chattering.

“What's he up to?” Tiana asked.

The candle was lighting up objects, drifting over tables and along display cabinets. The lids of trunks and chests opened and closed. Drawers slid out and cupboard doors swung open.

“I don't know,” Ulf said.

The candle drifted to the far corner of the room and settled on a table. From beneath the table an old canvas backpack slid out.

Ulf stepped over to it and saw its straps unbuckling. Objects rose out of the backpack: a shiny silver compass flew out and popped into Ulf's pocket; a climbing rope snaked up and coiled around his shoulder; a metal headlamp floated up and strapped itself to his head.

“Professor, what are you doing?” Ulf asked.

Tiana looked at Ulf, giggling. “You look like an explorer.”

Ulf watched as an old map floated from a pouch in the backpack and unfolded in the air. The map was drawn by hand in black ink, and was stained and streaked with dirt. It showed underground tunnels. Ulf could see passages connecting caves and caverns. They were labeled in tiny handwriting:
SPIDER'S PANTRY, TROLL CHAMBER, LEECH LAIR, GUMBALL'S GROTTO
.

“Tiana, look!” he said. “This is where the goblin's stationed.”

At the bottom of the map it said
HONEYCOMB MOUNTAIN
.

The map folded itself up, then drifted down and wedged into Ulf's pocket.