Authors: Lea J.
Chapter 7
Aaliyah
“When is Noah coming?” Addison asks as she appears behind my back, fixing the shirt I just put on. “It was crooked,” she says, and pats my hand. “Are you nervous?” She sits on the bed. I’m still standing in front of the mirror and thinking about my wardrobe choice. I’m wearing grey tights and a
wide
tunic that falls off one shoulder. I don’t want to try too hard, because I don’t want him to have false hope, but I still cannot go out looking shabby. I sigh, brushing aside a lock of hair that’s been bothering me, and join Addison on the bed.
“
You have no idea,” I tell her, looking her in the eyes. “I should’ve said no when he asked me out. Now he’s so happy I don’t have the heart to tell him I only see him as a friend. He’s such a great person, a great friend—I don’t want to ruin that. But I’m afraid he’s going to resent me forever when I tell him the truth. Aah, I’m a terrible person.” I put my hands on my bowed head and shake it.
“
Hey, hey, you’re being too harsh on yourself. I’m sure Noah will understand—just don’t lead him on for too long, so you don’t break his heart.” I nod and we hear knocking at the door. I take a deep breath as Addison goes to open the door.
“
Oh, what are you doing here?” she exclaims in surprise.
“
Who is it?” I say, turning to her and looking at the visitor. My breath catches when our eyes meet.
Ryder.
I take deep breaths. I feel dizzy for a second and I clutch at the chair that’s in the middle of the room. I was sitting on it earlier when Addison was curling my hair for the date. Why does he have to look so good? And why does he hate me so much? I still can’t comprehend how it is possible to feel so strongly about someone and despise him because of his behavior at the same time. I collect myself and straighten up.
“
Hi,” I greet him, lowering my eyes. I look at the bed where my purse is lying. I’d rather wait for Noah outside, I’m not in the mood to fight.
“
I want to talk to Aaliyah,” Ryder responds to Addison’s question, but his eyes are fixed on me. He drops his gaze,
checks
out my body and
raises
it back to my eyes. “Can we talk?” he asks as I’m opening the door.
“
Ryder…” I say and fall silent for a few seconds. “Now is not the right time, I have plans, I was just leaving.” Addison hurries to her nightstand to grab her keys.
“
I’ll leave you two alone, I have…umm… I have to go somewhere.” And she’s gone. Ryder comes closer to me, surrounding me with the scent of his aftershave. He tucks a stray lock behind my ear.
“
Please, just give me ten minutes, so I can explain things. You can then throw me out if you don’t like what I have to say.”
“
I don’t know,” I say, shifting from one foot to another, my heart beating like crazy, palms sweating—all because he’s so close to me. “I’m really in a hurry, I need to go.” Shit, Noah will be here any minute, what is he going to think if he sees Ryder in my room?
“
I’ll
be quick,
I promise,” he says, still standing only a few inches away from me.
“
Look, Ryder, I don’t know what you want from me, I never did anything to you. I never wanted anything from you nor did I indicate I want anything. I don’t want your money or whatever you think I’m after.” I make quotation marks in the air as I say that. “I’m nothing like that.” I look him in the eyes, and he closes them.
“
I know…” he says, looking back at me. “I now know you’re not like that.” He steps even closer, closing the space between us. If he came any closer, we could kiss. Just as he opens his mouth to continue speaking, Noah enters the room through the open door.
“
Hey, what’s going on here?” he asks, startled. I quickly step away from Ryder and move to Noah.
“
Uh…nothing, nothing really, we’re just, umm…” I turn to Ryder and he interrupts me.
“
Hey, dude. I only dropped something off for Addison. I was just leaving.” I let out a breath I was holding. Noah steps inside the room, but I’m still standing in the doorway. As Ryder walks past me, he stops, leans his head on the doorframe and looks at me. Closing my eyes, I grab the doorknob and close the door behind him. Ugh, what am I doing? I don’t understand him, I really don’t. First, he’s so rude and harsh to me, and now he’s… worried? No, not that, it has to be something else. Why am I so confused? As I step toward Noah, my head spins for a second from everything that’s happening, and I grab the edge of the bed. He quickly moves closer.
“
Are you okay?” He gently strokes my hand and I nod.
“
Yes, I just got dizzy for a second, it’s
alright.”
“
Are you sure? We can stay here if you don’t feel well.” God, how can he be so nice? I smile kindly at him.
“
No, no, it’s okay, let’s go.”
We go to a nearby pizza place where a table is already waiting for us. He quickly pulls out the chair for me, and I sit.
Tell him, tell him
, I’m constantly chanting in my head.
After dinner,
I tell myself, nothing is going to happen if I wait a little. He sits down opposite me and looks at me, grinning, his dimples showing. A waiter approaches.
“
Can I get you something to drink before you order?”
“
Just water,” I respond and Noah orders a beer.
“
What kind of pizza are you having?” Noah asks, looking up from the menu.
“
I have no idea, which one’s good?”
“
Have you ever tried doner kebab pizza? If not, I recommend that, it’s really good.”
When the waiter brings our drinks, we order. I take his recommendation and get doner kebab pizza. I’m sure I’m going to like it. While we wait for our food, we chat pleasantly.
“
So,” Noah says, before putting the first slice of pizza
, that
they just brough
t,
in his mouth. “Why didn’t you mention you
could
sing? We were so shocked when we saw you on the stage. I had to rub my eyes a few times to make sure it was really you.” I also take a bite of the pizza. I quickly chew and wave my hand.
“
It was not a big deal. If Patrick hadn’t needed my help, I would never have sung. I’m not comfortable being exposed in front of people. I feel better when I’m not in the center of attention, you’ve probably noticed that by now.” He nods and takes a sip of his beer.
“
That’s true, but you still can’t stop performing. You sing really well, perhaps you should record a song and send it to someone from the music industry. I’m sure you’d get signed to some major music label.”
“
Oh, God, no, that was a one-time deal. Believe me—I’m not cut out for these things. What about you? Why aren’t you interested in pursuing a basketball career? Is there something else you’d rather do?” He leans back in his chair, putting his hand behind his neck.
“
Yes, if I want to become a doctor, I’ll have to put basketball on hold. The working hours will be brutal.” He winks at me. A doctor? Can he be more perfect? Where do they make guys like him? And why can’t I see him as more than just a friend? He’d treat me way better than other men that were in my life.
“
Do you have any brothers or sisters?” I ask with interest.
“
Actually I do—a brother and a sister. My brother is two years older, which makes him 24, and my sister is three years younger. Nate is working for some lawyer and Noelle’s a freshman in college, but on the other side of the country.” I smile, shaking my head. “What?” he asks with a raised eyebrow as he takes a sip of his beer.
“
Your names all start with an ‘N’.”
“
You noticed, huh?” He scratches his chin. “Yes, our names start with an ‘N’. Apparently, my parents didn’t have any better ideas what to name us. My mom’s name is Nadine and my father is Nick. Totally unoriginal, right?”
“
No, not at all,” I respond, “it’s actually quite charming.” Noah is
great company and I like how relaxed our conversation is. The pizzeria is almost full. A waiter hurries past us to attend to a couple sitting across us.
“
How come you want to become a social worker? Any specific reason?” I shrug.
“
Yes and no. But I don’t want to bore you. I’d rather hear about what you’re doing in your free time, when you’re not working and training. There must be something you’re interested in.”
“
Actually, there is something, yes.” His eyes lock with mine and he shifts in his chair. I watch him with interest, waiting for him to continue. Because he’s still hesitating, I ask.
“
So? What is it?”
“
You,” he responds. I blush, dropping my gaze to the plate, then shake my head.
“
Noah,” I say, but he cuts me off with a raised hand.
“
The last few days all I’ve been doing was thinking about you. I can’t help it. I don’t know what you did to me, but I like the feeling and I don’t want it to stop. Your modesty, your smile, your eyes that are radiating warmth, and you’re so different from other girls I know—in a good way.” I don’t know how to respond to that. Nobody has ever said something so nice to me, and it feels so wrong. Ahh, I’m such a terrible person. Why can’t I tell him I only see him as a friend? “Umm, did I say something wrong?” Noah asks with confusion, since I’m still silent.
“
Thank you?” it sounds like a question. Thank you? Seriously? Couldn’t I think of a better response?
“
I thought you should know, that’s all.”
“
It’s okay, you just surprised me.”
Tell him, tell him,
the voice in my head is saying. Oh, why is this so hard?
“
Good, for a second there I was worried you’re going to run
away.
”
After dinner we went to a movie and watched the newest Ben Stiller comedy. Even though the movie was great, I couldn’t focus on watching it. In my head I kept running scenarios how to tell him in the nicest way possible that I only want to be friends with him. I’m still chewing it over in my head on the drive home. We’re quiet, the only sound in the car is
Rihanna
’s voice singing
Unfaithful
. Even though Noah and I are not a couple, I feel exactly like the title of the song—unfaithful.
“
Hey, are you alright?” He looks at me and shifts to a lower gear. We’re nearing the parking lot in front of my dorm. I press my lips together, sighing. Noah parks his car and I stare out the window. I close my eyes. This is it. I have to tell him. I turn toward him as he turns off the engine. Opening my eyes, I suddenly feel his lips on mine. He gently kisses me. Surprised, I’m paralyzed for a moment, and then I return the kiss. What the hell? Why am I doing this? His soft lips are caressing mine, and I finally collect my thoughts and gently push him away. Noah presses his forehead to my forehead and closes his eyes, sighing. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” I don’t know
how
to respond. My heart is beating like crazy. I know I should have told him, but I cannot gather the courage. “I had a nice time, I hope we can do this again sometime?” When I realize he asked me a question, I simply nod, open the car door and run to my room. What is wrong with me? With eyes, filled with tears, I step in the room and turn on the lights. Addison is not here, and
that
suits me. I slam the door behind me and throw myself on my bed, disappointed with myself.
Ryder
I’m lying in my bed, thinking about Aaliyah’s date with Noah. What if she’s having fun, what if she likes him? Will they kiss? What if he wants to have sex with her? Fuck, I don’t even want to think about that, my stomach is turning. No, she’s not like that, she won’t sleep with a guy on
the
first date. I already burned myself by jumping to conclusions. The television across the bed plays in the background—some old action movie, I have no idea what it’s about. Why did Noah show up at such an inappropriate moment? I was just about to apologize when he came through the door. Perhaps she wouldn’t go out with him if I told her I was sorry, and she listened to my explanation. And she looked so incredibly beautiful, like an angel, lighting up the room just by her presence. The tights she was wearing were like a second skin on her legs, emphasizing every muscle on her body. I slowly close my heavy eyelids and fall asleep with her on my mind.
The next morning, the alarm I set for 7 a.m. wakes me up. I have practice at half past eight so I have to get up and get ready. Two hours of exercise will be good for me. It’s a good thing I’m not going to class, at least I won’t be searching for Aaliyah in the hallways. Shit, but Noah is going to be at practice. I hope he won’t brag about her, because I’m going to break his jaw if he touched her. I don’t hear any movement inside his room as I walk past it. He’s probably still sleeping—I hope this doesn’t mean he had a long night. Damn it, what’s wrong with me? I’m never jealous, never!