Before Now (Sometimes Never) (13 page)

As great as Lu
cy is, she sucks at Water War. When she grabbed that little squirt gun she shot me with the first time I met her, I plucked it from her hand and threw it over my shoulder. She was mad until I produced Super Soakers. Chase and I had filled them with cheap tequila and took them to a party. We shot girls in the mouth all night. Good times.

Lu
cy made me wash them out before she agreed to use them. It set us back. That’s why we’re sneaking around by the staircase.

The floor creaks above us as we approach the landing. I spin
around and grip Lucy’s waist. I roll us along the wall, pressing my body into hers, and then pulling hers into mine as we turn. I’m being dramatic, but it gives me the excuse to feel her against me.

Her shirt comes up slightly and I tra
il my fingers across her bare back. I feel the muscles pull tight, twitching against my hand, and I apply more pressure. Lucy’s head drops forward, resting on my shoulder.

I walk my finger
s up her skin and slip them under the clasp of her bra. She tilts her head so she can look at me. I can feel her breathe against my chin, soft and warm. I want to inhale it. Taste it. Drink every ounce of her breath.

The quick padding of little feet gives away Ozzy’s approach. Lucy jumps back, falling back into game mode.
She holds out three fingers, folding them in as she counts down.

Three.

Two.

One.

I grin at her as we spring around the corner and fire. They double-crossed us. Jeremy and Jessie joined Bree and Ozzy’s team. Before I can fully comprehend what’s happening, I’m being hit by four different streams of water. Jessie and that damn water cooler being the most efficient. I’m soaked.

Lucy
’s fairly dry, and laughing. I turn my gun on her. She tilts her head to the side to keep her face out of the attack, and I lunge at her. Wrapping my hands around hers, I angle her gun up and spray until I’ve drenched every inch of her head.

She squirms in my arms, her back pressing into my front, and she squeals loudly.

And then I feel a sharp pain in my leg. I jerk back and try to shake my calf, but there’s a kid attached.

“Son of a—” It takes everything in me not to k
ick Ozzy off. His teeth are embedded deep into my flesh and it hurts like hell.

“Oswald,” Lucy
cries. “No. Get off him.” She drops down to her knees and squeezes the kid’s cheeks in between her fingers, trying to pry his mouth from my leg. When he releases me, I jump back out of biting range.

Lucy
hugs him to her tightly, rubbing his back. I kind of want to hit him.

“It’s okay, Oz. I’m fine. We were just playing. I’m all right. I promise.”

Jeremy laughs and shakes his head. “He got you good. You’re bleeding.”

Lucy gasps and pulls back from her little brother. She grabs his face and looks at his mouth. “Gross Oz. You got his blood in your mouth.” She glances at my leg and then up at me. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“He bit me.” I know I’m stating the obvious, but that little shit
bit me
.

Jessie chuckles and covers his mouth quickly. I glare at him and he holds his hands up, shaking his head, but the smile’s still there.

Lucy stands up, pulling her brother to her side. “I tried to warn you—”

“I don’
t recall you saying shit about your brother being a zombie wannabe.” As soon as I say it, though, I realize that’s what she was trying to tell me when I freaked out yesterday.

It mu
st show on my face because her only response is the arching of her brows. “We should get you guys cleaned up.” She turns to Ozzy and narrows her gray eyes. “You know you’re in trouble, right?” He nods slowly, dropping his gaze.

“So who
won?” Jeremy asks as we head back to the apartment. I limp behind everyone, blood soaking into my sock.

“We won,” Bree says, placing her hand on his shoulder.

Lucy has this little smirk on her face that I’ll make her pay for later. I’m not seeing the humor in this situation. It hurts like hell. I shoot a look at Ozzy when he peers over his shoulder at me.

“I’m buying you a muzzle,” I hiss. And
even though his eyes hold some semblance of remorse, he laughs at me.

Fucking kids.

Life lesson number 10: Do not have children. They’re short, evil demons with homicidal tendencies. In fact, I should go get my balls clipped just to be safe.

I adjust my jeans and sigh. On second thought—fuck that. I’m in enough pain as it is.

Bree says something about helping the flesh eater rinse his mouth. They head up stairs and I turn into my apartment. I rip a paper towel off the roll and start cleaning my leg. There are over six hundred different species of bacteria in the human mouth. I bet kids have even more germs than that. When I was a kid, I would consistently just wet my toothbrush instead of brushing my teeth. I didn’t care about hygiene until I hit puberty and realized girls didn’t want to kiss a dude with bad breath and B.O.

I cringe. Who knows how long it’s been since Ozzy’s
brushed his teeth. I probably have thousands of critters slithering into my blood stream.

“You need some help?” Lu
cy asks. She leans her hip against the counter and crosses her arms.

“I need rubbing alcohol.
”

She wrink
les her nose. “You should use peroxide. Alcohol will burn.”

“I know what it will do.”
Burn the fucking creepy crawlers right off
.

She bites her lip like
she’s fighting a smile. “You’re kind of a crybaby,” she says quietly.

“It
hurts.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Then why you calling me a baby?” I sound like a baby.

She gazes at me. “You’re pouting.”

“I am not.” Okay,
seriously
. What the fuck is wrong with me? I am straight up being a sulky little bitch.

“Will you fe
el better if I kiss it?”

I raise a brow
and nod. “Definitely.”

Lucy
bends down, resting on her knees. She leans forward and suddenly I’m not in pain anymore. Her hair is wet and it sticks to me, tickling the hairs on my legs. She glides a soft kiss to the skin above the bite wound. When she sits back on her feet and looks up at me, I want to grip the back of her neck and crush my mouth to hers. I want her so fucking badly.

Clearing her throat, Lucy d
rops her gaze. “Let’s see if we can find you a band aid and a lollipop.”

She pushes
herself up and takes my hand. I purposely step into her, our chests making contact. My fingers bunch the hair at the back of her neck and I pull her closer. Her gray eyes get that stormy look that I can’t get enough of. I love knowing I cause that. It makes me go hard and I want her to know. I want her to understand the way she affects me, too.

I trail my hand
down to the small of her back, resting it at the sexy curve above her ass. I push until her hips press into me. She gasps and it’s like a punch to the gut.

What the fuck am I doing?

I drop my hands and step back.
Damn it. I’m sorry
. But I don’t tell her. I just stare at her, watching the different emotions passing over her face. Each one is more beautiful than the last. Fear. Confusion. Passion. Anger.

“
I know I said we don’t have to label this, but I can’t live in limbo. I can’t keep waiting for you to decide what you want. Either I’m worth it to you or I’m not. If you don’t want a relationship that’s fine, but don’t lead me on. All these
almost
kisses are driving me insane. Kiss me or don’t. Quit acting like you want me…just to push me away.”

“You don’t want a relationship either.” I don’t know why that’
s what I choose to say when really I want to apologize—to explain I wasn’t trying to lead her on. I want her so much. It’s getting harder to control, but I’m not ready for more. More is fucking scary as hell.

She laughs harshly. “I want a relati
onship, Park.
You
don’t.”

“You don’t want one with me,” I say and it’s apparent I’m asking a question. A really big question.

Her eyes narrow as she flicks them over my face. “I don’t want what you can’t give.” She turns around and pauses halfway through the doorway shaking her head. She whirls back on me. “No. You know what? I do want it. I want to be with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my life. What I don’t want is to be hurt and I think you’d be really good at hurting me. So just…don’t.”

I wonder
how big of a prick I am because I want to lie and promise her I’d never hurt her. I want to say whatever I need to to make her stay.

“I don’t want to
hurt you, Lucy, but I will.”

She blinks quickly and I know she’s holding back tears. “I don’t even know what to say to that. Congratulations, you’re a bastard?”

I shake my head slowly. “This is who I am.”

She closes her eyes. “And thi
s is who I am. I don’t sleep around. I don’t know how to turn off my emotions and just have a one night stand. I need more than that.” When she looks at me again, her expression is unreadable. “I don’t want to keep doing this. I don’t want to wait to be enough for you. If we can’t be more than friends, then you can’t try to kiss me anymore. It means two very different things to us.”

No it doesn’t
.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” She pushes her fingers through her hair. I fist mine to keep from reaching for her.

“Okay,” I repeat.

“Yeah.
Okay
. Great. I’ve got to take my brothers home. I’ll see you later.”

I watch her
as she leaves me standing in the kitchen. As soon as the front door closes, I sink into the chair. My head drops to my hands. My leg fucking hurts again.

Lucy’s Rules
:

1.
       
Make the conscious decision to look at others with an open mind
and an open heart
.

2.
      
Everybody needs someone in their life they can rely on. Try to be that person.

3.
      
Take a chance.

4.
     
Love whole-heartedly. (
Unless in the presence of Park Reed—in which case, guard your heart at all cost
.)

5.
      
Make it your goal to make someone smile daily.

6.
      
Always expect more of yourself today than you did yesterday.

7.
      
No matter how many times you’re let down, continue believing in the goodness of others. (?)

17

Lucy

Regret: A sense of loss or disappointment; a feeling of sorrow or remorse over an act
or decision.

I regret every single word I said to
Park in his kitchen three days ago. I miss him. He asked me to accept him for who he is and I shot him down. I can’t believe I did that. I told myself I’d be patient with him. That I wouldn’t give up on him. I don’t know how to make this better.

When Chase and Guy sit in his booth, I almost start crying. It just seems so wrong.
That’s Park’s spot
.

I put my hand on my hip as I look at Guy.
He pushes his blonde bangs out of his eyes and smiles, but I don’t feel like smiling right now. “He send you to keep an eye on me?” I demand.

“Actually, he kindly suggested a nice place for me to go grab a bite to eat when I said I was hungry.”

“Which was Hell,” Chase interjects, “if I remember correctly?”

“Yes,” Guy agrees. “But I like the pie here better. Not as sulfery.”

“Mm.” I nod. “A little better atmosphere as well.”

“Less screaming
with despair,” Chase concurs.

“Similar décor
, though, I’m guessing,” Guy states glancing around the small diner.

I laugh for the first time in three days. And then my vision blurs as my eyes fill with tears. I blink them back quickly. “How is he?”

“He’s Park,” Chase says flatly. “He’s indecisive and moody.”

“But
how is he?
”

“What do you mean?”

I feel my eyebrows crinkle. “He’s always moody and indecisive. I want to know… Is he drinking? Is he…?”
Sleeping with every girl he meets?

Guy sits back and stares at me for a long moment before he slides over and pats the seat beside him. “Come sit for a minute.”