Begin Again (Beautiful #2) (3 page)

“I need to make sure you’re going to be okay seeing him this week. If not, I’ll phone him right now and tell him to stay in Chicago.”

My heart warmed at Grayson’s thoughtfulness and I wondered what I’d done to deserve a friend like him. I was just me, an average Southern girl who had been to hell and back in the last year, and for some reason God blessed me with this amazing, loving family. It wasn’t a flesh and blood family, but it was family all the same.

“You don’t have to do that,” I sighed. “He deserves to experience the most magical day of your life with you. We’ve all been friends for too long to let what happened with us come between that.”

“If you don’t want him here, just say the word Dem and he won’t be here. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,
because then I’ll get hell from Huntley and we all know how that works out for me.”

I chuckled then, knowing he was right. Huntley could be a real hellcat when she was pissed, or unhappy. We’d managed to avoid Bridezilla so far, we weren’t about coax it out now.

“I’m going to be just fine,” I replied. I wrapped my arms around his bicep and rested my head on his arm. “He’s not the only one responsible for our mess, Gray. I was also wrong.”

I felt Grayson kiss the top of my head and it was comforting. I was terrified as all hell to see Brody, but I tried hiding it as best I could. This week wasn’t about me. It was about two of the most amazing people I knew pledging their lives and hearts to each other forever. I wasn’t about to let my problems ruin that.

“Are you going to tell him about… you know?” Grayson asked hesitantly.

Thinking about what I had to tell Brody made my chest tighten, and my throat start to burn. I tried to will the tears to stay away, but it was hard. I’d been doing so well but there were some things that would still cut me up.

“I don’t know,” I sniffled, trying to be quiet. I didn’t want Huntley to hear me, or see me if I started crying. This felt like a set back of sorts but I knew I’d have to tell Brody
everything
at some point. Not only did he deserve to know but it was important for me to get this closure. I wasn’t going to heal otherwise.

“He deserves to know,” Grayson murmured, reading my mind. “It won’t change what happened but it will make it a whole lot easier on you.” I wasn’t entirely sure that was true but he was right to some extent. Brody deserved to know what happened after he left.

“I have something else you need to know.” I looked up at Grayson, and the expression on his face worried me.

“Brody might be bringing someone with him,” he said. He watched me carefully, and I had no idea what he was expecting to see on my face.

“I know,” I replied. Grayson looked surprised but didn’t ask me how I knew. I wasn’t ready to tell him anyway, even if he had asked. “Your brother will be on my arm,” I said, trying to sound unfazed. “Brody can bring whoever he wants.”

Grayson looked skeptical and probably thought every word coming out of my mouth was bullshit. He wasn’t wrong.

“So you and my brother, huh?” he smirked. I smiled, a real genuine one at that and ducked my head a little.

“I don’t have to tell you what’s been going on with us,” I said. “I’m sure Jeff has been keeping you up-to-date.”

It was Grayson’s turn to chuckle. “It’s the only way I can find out how you’re really doing. I know you don’t always tell us everything.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I was doing better, Gray. Sometimes I just need to talk to someone who won’t pity me. Jeff is that person, and I really care about him.”

“We don’t pity you, Dem,” Grayson argued. I shook my head.

“Yeah, Gray, you kinda do. You guys have looked at me like I’m broken beyond repair for too long, and I didn’t want to end up resenting you for it. Besides, I had to pull myself together on my own. I may not be completely there yet, but I will be.”

“You’ve always been strong, but it’s alright to lean on someone every now and then.”

“That’s why I have your brother,” I replied quietly, thinking about just how much Jeff had helped me.

“Okay you two, it’s late and I need to put the little monster to bed.” Grayson and I both looked up to find Huntley smiling at us with a sleepy Hunter in her arms. Grayson helped me up, and I walked over to Huntley. I kissed Hunter goodnight, and Huntley passed him to Grayson. I said goodnight to him too and Huntley walked me to my car.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Huntley asked, stifling a yawn.

“Of course,” I replied. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither,” Huntley replied. “You drive home safe and let me know when you get home, okay?”

“It’s like ten minutes.”

“I don’t care. I won’t sleep until I get that message from you saying you’re home safe.” Huntley yawned again and I knew she’d fall asleep before I even pulled into my driveway. But I agreed just to appease her and hugged her goodbye before climbing into my car and driving home. After locking up and activating my alarm, I grabbed my kindle e-reader and got Coco settled on my bed. I started reading a new romance novel but it wasn’t long before my eyes dropped closed and the flash of Brody’s face haunted my dreams.

The plane touched down at O’Hare International airport in Chicago and I woke with a start. I was groggy from the flight even though it was only two hours long at the most. My mood had worsened considerably but I chalked it down to why I was here in the first place and told myself to suck it up. The sooner I saw Brody and got this out of the way, the sooner I could go home and crawl back into the darkness and despair that had been my life for the past two months. It was easier that way, for me at least. I knew everyone at home, including Huntley, had become frustrated with my behavior and my need to hide away from the world. Too bad I didn’t care. They didn’t understand what I had gone through and they sure as hell had no idea what it was like to live in the perpetual darkness that had consumed me. I was only a
fraction of the person I once was and no one could pretend they knew what that was like.

I grabbed the small bag that I’d brought with me for my two and a half day visit from the luggage carousel and made my way out to where the cabs were parked. It was late and the sun had just started setting but it felt like I’d been awake for days on end. Everything hurt. My head, my arms, my legs, my belly. But nothing compared to the hurt I felt gnawing away at my chest. But I was here for a reason, a purpose, and I had to see that through before I allowed myself to be overcome by my grief. I hailed a cab and after sliding in, I gave Brody’s address to the cab driver. As we weaved through the streets, the tall glass buildings whizzing past, it hit me that all of this was what he’d left me for. While I took full responsibility for allowing him to leave and chase his dreams, it felt like a slap in the face to know this was what he’d been chasing. My stomach twisted and I rubbed at the dull ache. I had to do this. I needed closure and Brody deserved to know the truth. Minutes later, the cab stopped outside an apartment building and I asked the driver to wait for ten minutes before he drove away. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go and if necessary, I needed an escape plan.
Not that Brody would hurt me. I was more worried about the pain I was about to inflict on myself. The cool evening air nipped at my skin and I hugged my sweater closer for warmth. I was always cold lately but it seemed worse with the cooler temperatures in the city. I took the crumpled up piece of paper out of my pocket that Grayson had given me and checked which apartment number belonged to Brody. If I was right, I would’ve been able to see which apartment was his from the street and taking a chance, I counted four floors up and six apartment windows to the right. I lost my breath when I saw him standing there, leaning against a window. Wearing nothing but what looked like his pajama bottoms, he still looked as impossibly beautiful as I’d remembered. He was the villain in my nightmares night after night and still I missed him fiercely. I stared at him for a short while, until a tall blonde came up from behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He hadn’t pushed her away, but he hadn’t returned her intimate embrace either. It became obvious to me then, standing outside on the sidewalk. He’d moved on. After only two months. Two months that had been nothing short of Hell on Earth for me. Just like that, life landed its’ final blow, and what was left of my broken heart shattered. Tears burned my eyes and I welcomed the sting. I’d convinced myself that somewhere along the way I’d done something to deserve this, that this was the price I had to pay for how my relationship started with Brody. This was Karma’s way of righting my wrongs, of restoring balance after I cheated on my ex-boyfriend, Tommy, with Brody. Clearly having Tommy beat the crap out of me when he found about me and Brody wasn’t enough. Brody and the blonde disappeared from the window and I had the sudden urge to throw up. The acid in my stomach climbed up my throat and I spun around and grabbed ahold of the nearest garbage bin just in time before the fowl tasting liquid spewed from my mouth. I heaved until there was nothing left but my hollow sobs and when I had no fight left in me, I climbed back into the cab. I’d known it was a bad idea to come here. I felt it the minute I’d got on the plane back home. But against my better judgment I’d ignored the alarm bells in my head and came anyway. And I wasn’t any better off for it. The cab driver looked at me as if I was mad but I ignored it. I need to get the hell out of here and fast. I only had one option. Jeff Carter.

“HELLO?” JEFF’S VOICE came through the phone and I’d never been so relieved to hear it. Jeff Carter was Grayson’s older brother by two years, but he was also one of my childhood friends. He’d known I was coming but a small part of me had hoped I wouldn’t need to call him.

“Jeff? It’s Demi.” I swallowed audibly and tried to control my emotions long enough to stop the waterworks.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone thick with concern, “why does it sound like you’re crying?”

I ignored his rapid-fire questions and skipped to why I’d called him in my time of need. “Are you at home?”

“Yes. What happened, Demi?”

I sighed, struggling to put a coherent sentence together between my hiccups and my constant blubbering. My voice was hoarse and my throat raw.  “Can I come see you? P-please? I don’t want to be alone right n-now.” It sounded like a desperate plea and I didn’t care. I needed someone. Anyone.

“Of course,” he replied. “Where are you?”

“I’m leaving Brody’s apartment now. What’s your address?”

Jeff gave me his address and I recited it to the cab driver.

“I’ll be waiting for you outside,” Jeff said.

“Thank you.”

It didn’t take us long to stop outside Jeff’s apartment building and true to his word, he was waiting for me outside. I paid the cab driver and as soon as I was free of the cab, I launched myself into Jeff’s body. I cried into his chest and instead of complaining, Jeff simply rubbed up and down my back and hushed me until I was calmer. He picked my bag up from where I’d dropped it and tucked me into his side before taking me upstairs.

“I’m s-sorry,” I stuttered, wiping my face. “I didn’t m-mean to just s-show up like t-this.”

Jeff sat me down on his sofa and looked at me with concern in his eyes. “I knew you were in the city this weekend,” he replied softly. “Grayson called. Said you’d probably call me if something went wrong with Brody.”

“Oh God,” I groaned between sniffles. “You must think I’m a pathetic woman. I didn’t have anyone else - ”

“I’m glad you came to me,” Jeff said, cutting me off, “And no, I don’t think you’re pathetic at all. Can I get you anything before we talk about what happened at Brody’s?”

“Water would be nice, thank you. And some headache pills if you have.”

Jeff nodded and disappeared into his kitchen. I hardly noticed anything around me except the view he had of the city. It was dark and the city lights lit up the breathtaking horizon, showing off Lake Michigan in the distance. The sofa dipped next to me and I turned to take the glass of cold water out of Jeff’s hands. I swallowed the pills he gave me and hoped that the throb in my temples would subside sooner rather than later.

“You ready to tell me what happened?”

I looked into Jeff’s eyes and found what I had been sorely lacking since the day Brody left. Safety. I trusted Jeff, more than I trusted anyone at that time, and when I was sure I could handle reliving the last few weeks, I told him everything. That had been the start of something new, and something that had meant more to me than I thought possible after what I’d endured in just eight long, painful weeks.