Begin Again (Beautiful #2) (5 page)

I brushed my hands through my hair, and my chest deflated with a heavy sigh. I could read between the lines.

“That bad, huh?”

“Why do you suddenly care?” Huntley asked, anger lacing her usually sweet voice. I was caught a little off-guard by the strength of her tone.

“I’ve always cared,” I replied quietly, silently pleading that Huntley will believe me.

“You have a really funny way of showing it, Brody. You left without a word, and she had to deal with…” Huntley clamped a hand over her mouth quickly before finishing her sentence. Something in the way she said that didn’t sit well with me. Not at all.

“Deal with what?”

Huntley remained quiet, and I watched her eyes glimmer with unshed tears. “Deal with what?” I asked again, my tone harder and more persistent than before. I stepped closer and Huntley’s hand shot up to stop me.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “I’ve already said too much.”

“Huntley, please - ”

“It’s not my story to tell,” she said quickly, interrupting me.

“Then why bring it up?”

“Because I want to be pissed at you, Brody,” she huffed. “It’s been a year and you’re only
now
asking how Demi is doing. To top it off, you decided to bring your fuck buddy with you to our wedding. What is the matter with you? Don’t you care about Demi at all anymore? It’s bad enough she has to see you this week and now she’ll have to deal with seeing you
with someone else.
”

I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that I’d called Grayson every day for three months after I’d left to find out if Demetria was okay. What she didn’t know is that Grayson stopped telling me. He’d even started ignoring my calls until I’d stopped asking altogether. It killed me. Huntley’s words only ripped open the old wound all over again. Leaving me with nothing but the guilt I’d carried in my heart all this time.

“I’m sorry Brody.” Huntley shifted from one foot to another, and looked away as if she could no longer stomach the sight of me. For the second time, I couldn’t blame her. “But you really fucked up. My only hope is that you and Demi will somehow find your back to each other and have what Grayson and I have. I want that for you two more than anything.” Huntley’s eyes conveyed everything I had feared and the realization that I had truly fucked up hit me square in the gut. With those parting words, Huntley stretched on her toes and placed a kiss on my cheek. At least she didn’t hate me, that much I was sure of, and as I watched her walk back on their house, I had the nagging feeling deep down in my bones that the damage I’d left behind a year ago was far greater than what I’d previously thought. It only left me with more questions, the most obvious being
Can I make it right
?

I closed the door behind me and let out a breath. The week leading up to mine and Grayson’s wedding had barely started and I already felt like I was dodging bullets. I hated being nasty to Brody but I was still angry with him. I didn’t care if I had no right to be after a year had passed. He destroyed my best friend and left us to put her back together. I shook my head, laughing at my own ridiculousness. I didn’t need to get involved with Demi and Brody’s drama a week before I married the love of my life. It was bad juju.

I walked upstairs and stopped to check on Hunter. My little man was sprawled across his bed, hair in every direction. He’d kicked the blankets off the same way Grayson did when he got hot. He was so much like his daddy it was scary. My life hadn’t turned out as I expected and even
though we had Hunter really young, he was the best thing to ever happen to us. I couldn’t regret him, not even for a second.

I was leaning against the door when two strong arms slid around my waist. Grayson’s scent engulfed me, and I relaxed into his hard chest. “You ready for bed?” he asked quietly. I yawned, causing him to chuckle. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Sorry.” I yawned again. “I’m wiped.”

“I’ll run you a bath.” Grayson kissed my head, and I watched him walk down the hallway to our bedroom. He looked over his shoulder, a smirk on his face. He knew I was watching him. When he disappeared I quietly snuck into Hunter’s room and switched off his Scooby-Doo nightlight. I kissed his forehead and inhaled his sweet scent. I loved him so much my heart burst. When I walked into our bedroom, Grayson was standing at the basin in his cotton drawstring pajama bottoms with no shirt. I don’t know why he bothered though. He preferred sleeping naked. I padded over, slipping my boots off along the way and hugged him from behind. I kissed him between his shoulder blades and pressed our bodies together, loving the feel of his warm skin against my
cheek. After spending the day with Demi, I was tired. Grayson twisted to face me and I held on tighter.

“Everything okay?” he asked. He tilted my chin up with his forefinger, and looked at me thoughtfully.

“I think so,” I replied. “It was a long day.”

He nodded thoughtfully and pushed away from the counter. He rubbed our noses together, giving me an Eskimo kiss. “Lift.”

I lifted my arms, smiling. He loved undressing me this way, and it always made me feel cherished. When my shirt was gone, my jeans followed, as did my bra and panties. Grayson’s eyes darkened, turning luminous Jade in color. I wanted him and he knew it because he wanted me too, but he could see I was tired and being the considerate man that he was, he scooped me up in his arms and lowered me into the hot, steamy water.

“Oh God that’s good,” I moaned, feeling the tension in my muscles disperse amongst the vanilla and honey bubbles around me.

Grayson cleared his throat and I looked up. “What?”

He shook his head, amused. “You know better than to make those noises, baby. They drive me crazy.”

“Sorry,” I replied, blushing. “It does feel really good.”

Grayson straightened and I unabashedly stared at his perfection. He’d become a little bigger since graduation, his muscles more defined. His work at the Sports Rehabilitation Centre at Whitley University kept him fit and I liked it. I liked it a lot.

“You can’t look at me like that.” Grayson’s voice was rough with a husky undertone that only appeared when he was aroused. 

“Like what?” I asked innocently, knowing very well the kind of look I was giving him.

“Like you want me.”

My mouth tipped up as I continued to look at Grayson from
beneath my lashes. “I always want you, Gray.” It was true. My physical need for him was never satisfied, no matter how many times or how many ways he took me.

He bent down again, making us eye level. He touched my face, and despite the hot water, I shivered. “You’re tired,” he said quietly, rubbing the circles under my eyes that were no longer hidden by make-up. “But I’m always up for a late night cuddle.”

I laughed lightly, falling in love with him all over again.

“Sounds perfect,” I sighed. As much as I wanted to get sweaty with my soon-to-be husband, I was tired. I’d been napping a lot lately.

Grayson kissed me and stood. “Enjoy your bath, baby. I’ll see you in bed.”

I nodded and watched him walk out before sinking into the hot water. The feeling blooming in my chest, in every molecule of my body, was one I’d become accustomed to and yet I still reveled in it every time it washed over me like it was the first time I was feeling it. Contentment. True untainted contentment.

Huntley sighed and curled deeper into my side. Her head was on my chest and my arm was wrapped around her waist. We were only a few days away from our wedding and it often felt like it had taken us forever to get here. After Hunter was born, Huntley took some time off school while I started working on getting the Sports Rehabilitation Center at Whitley. When the time was right, Huntley finished her degree and started counseling at the elementary school here in Breckinridge a few days a week. I was so proud of her. She was determined to achieve her goals and still be the best mother to our son. I smiled then, thinking about our two year old just down the hall. I couldn’t wait to fill this house with more kids. Little girls who looked just like Huntley.

“What’s got you smilin’ like that?”

I looked down and found Huntley’s green eyes peering up at me. My heart skipped a beat, the same way it always did when I looked at her.

“I’m happy,” I replied. “And I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

Huntley’s eyes glistened and in them I saw the world. She was my world. Our family was my world.

“Don’t cry,” I murmured, wiping her cheeks.

“Don’t mind me,” she whispered. “It’s been happening a lot. I seem to leak when I’m happy these days.”

I chuckled. “You’re happy?”

“Deliriously.”

“Well I must be doing something right then.”

Huntley smiled and I kissed her lips. “I wanted to ask you something,” I said. I’d been thinking about this for a while, but the timing just hadn’t felt right with all the wedding planning and such.

“Of course, baby. Anything.”

I swallowed, feeling nervous. God, this woman tied me in knots. “I think we should try for another baby.”

I held my breath and watched as Huntley’s eyes widened. “I mean if you’re ready,” I added quickly. I didn’t want her to feel pressurized if having another baby wasn’t something she wanted just yet. I could understand if she wasn’t
ready but I was praying to God that she was. There was no better time in my life than when Huntley was pregnant with Hunter. Seeing her belly grow with my baby was something I desperately wanted to experience again. The room filled with silence, and then it was broken by nothing but a whisper.

“Okay.”

My heart leapt from my chest and I slid down next Huntley so that our faces were only inches apart.

“Okay?” I asked, wanting to hear it again.

Huntley gave a small nod and I captured her mouth in a long, deep kiss.

“Say it,” I murmured against her lips, “tell me we’re having another baby.”

I felt her lips tip up and then she said it. “We’re having another baby.”

Those were the sweetest words ever spoken. And then we were done talking.

We sat in the small yet opulent bridal boutique situated two hours outside of Breckinridge. The wedding was only three days away and it was the final dress fitting for all of us. Grayson’s mother, May, sat to my left and she was deep in conversation with Huntley’s aunt Emma as we waited patiently for Huntley to come out. Until now, the only person who had seen Huntley’s dress was her aunt and I was anxious to see how she looked. I envisioned her in something form-fitting with a slight flare at the knees and a chapel length train. Not that it really mattered what she wore. She’d make a black garbage bag look fantastic.

The shop assistant brought us some more champagne and I took the flute from her hand gratefully. I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my belly and I was determined to squash it
with more bubbly goodness. The last thing I wanted was to ruin this day for Huntley with my less than exuberant mood. It’s not that I wasn’t excited but my mind was preoccupied with other things. Huntley had texted me last night and told me that Brody was in town and knowing that he was here stirred so much inside me that I found myself thinking about our past, about things I’d rather forget but never will. I could lie and say I didn’t want to see Brody but I’d only be fooling myself. I wanted to cast my eyes on his beautiful face and look into the depths of his deep chocolate brown eyes. I wanted to know what the past year had been like for him and if he had hurt as much as I had. I wanted to know if he thought about me, about us, every day the way I did, if he had trouble sleeping because it was my face that kept him awake. I wanted to see if he had changed at all, or if he was the same man I gave my heart to when I had little understanding of just how much he’d come to mean to me. I wanted to know if he’d see that I had changed, that he had changed me and that despite all that we had put each other through, he was the still the keeper of my broken, yet still beating heart.

A gasp brought me back to the present moment and all thoughts of Brody vanished when I turned to see Huntley walk out of the dressing room and onto the raised platform in front of us. It was impossible to describe how beautiful she looked without comparing her classic looks to that of a Greek goddess. Her tulle and satin gown, with its romantic silhouette, was white with ivory all-over lace and lace applique. It had capped sleeves that accentuated her toned arms, and a deep v-shaped neckline that complimented her curves. It was nothing short of exquisite.

“Well?” Huntley’s voice broke the silence and I heard the slight tremor.

“You look…” May started but couldn’t get the rest of her sentence out and I understood why. Huntley looked…
breathtaking.

I stood up and walked over to where Huntley stood, waiting.

“It’s perfect,” I whispered, feeling my eyes well up with tears. “You look like a princess and I can’t think of anyone more deserving.”

Huntley swiped away a few tears and stepped down from the raised platform. “Thank you,” she whispered. I
smiled and hugged my best friend, feeling my heart swell. I was so happy for her but a small part of me wondered if it would ever be me in a beautiful gown of my own. Emma and May came up to Huntley and we all shared a few more tears.

“Grayson is going to fall over when he see’s you, sweetheart,” Emma said, grinning wildly like a proud mother. “Your mamma would’ve been proud and I wish they were here to share this magical time of your life, but they’re in your heart and taking it all in with you.”

I felt a pang of sadness and couldn’t even begin to understand how not having her parents here must’ve affected Huntley.

“Thank you Aunt Em,” Huntley replied quietly. “I’m so happy and I know they can feel it from wherever they are.”

“We’re all taking it in with you, baby girl,” May added while holding Huntley’s hand. I’m sure anyone walking past the boutique window would’ve thought we were crazy but we were simply sharing a moment that would only happen once. Huntley and Grayson had the kind of love everyone hopes to find but rarely do. I still held out hope that some day it would be me.

Huntley turned to look at me and smiled. “I have a surprise for you.”

I frowned, wondering what she could be talking about. She nodded at the shop assistant who disappeared for a short while before returning with another garment bag. Both Emma and May shared knowing glances and I knew they must’ve already known about this.

“What’s going on?” I asked. The assistant unzipped the garment bag, and pulled out another beautiful gown. I stared in confusion.

“I had this made for you,” Huntley said, taking the ornate dress from the assistant’s hands. It was far more beautiful than the dress we had originally chosen and I was almost drooling at the sight of it.

“But we had a dress picked out?”

Huntley’s mouth tipped up. “I know but you’re my Maid of Honor and you needed something more appropriate. So what do you think?”

“I love it,” I replied, holding the dress.

“Well don’t just stand there,” Emma laughed. “Go try it on!”

I squealed on my way to the dressing room and slipped the dress over my head after taking off my clothes. I didn’t bother looking at myself in the mirror before stepping out. I smiled widely when I saw Huntley’s reaction and giggled when Emma and May started fawning over me. I stepped in front of the raised mirror and looked at the girl staring back. Although I knew she was no longer a girl. Life had taken that away and had left behind a fraction of the person I used to be.

“It’s stunning,” I said quietly, admiring myself. It was a one shoulder, full-length gown, Champaign in color. It was ruched across the breasts and accented by a black band around the waist with a diamante flower detail on the side. Huntley came to stand next to me, and put her arm around my shoulders. “Now you look like my M.O.H.”

Huntley and I were in the car on our way home after having lunch with her aunt and Grayson’s mother. We’d been singing along to Taylor Swift’s ‘Red’ album for over an hour and spent a great deal of that time laughing at how terrible a singer I was. Huntley turned the music down and I found her regarding me carefully.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t okay, right?”

I shifted in my seat and faced her. “Of course I would, but why do you ask?”

She sighed and looked at me quickly before returning her gaze to the road ahead of us. “I’m… I just…” she stuttered.

“C’mon, spit it out, we don’t have all day.”

“I’m worried about you, that’s all. Brody’s back in town, which you know and Grayson and I already had a fight about him - ”

“Why would you be fighting about Brody?” I asked, interrupting her.

“Well,” she hesitated briefly, but I wasn’t sure why, “for some stupid reason Grayson decided to tell Brody and his…his… bed buddy that they could stay with us this week. When I found out, I lost my shit and threatened to withhold my goodies from Grayson unless he fixed it.”

I stared at Huntley, my mouth open. “Your goodies?”

“Yeah,” Huntley replied, blushing. “No sex.”

An unladylike giggle burst free from my mouth and I laughed. “You threatened to take away sex all because Brody was going to stay with you?”

“Not just Brody,” Huntley defended. “He brought his sex toy with…” her words trailed off as realization flashed in my eyes. My brief laughter died and I felt my heart sink. Brody had really moved on. Deep down I knew it, I saw it with my own eyes once but I never thought I’d have to face it again. “Shit,” Huntley muttered. “I’m sorry Demi.”

I shook my head, struggling with the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that had been hovering over me all day. “You didn’t have to do that,” I said quietly. “You should’ve let them stay with you.”

Huntley’s eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of their sockets. “Have you completely lost your mind?”

“No, but it would’ve been the right thing to do considering he’s Grayson’s best friend.”

“Well that’s too bad because you’re
my
best friend and after what he did to you he can go sleep in a lice infested bush.”

I chuckled but it was an empty sound. “You’ll have to let go some time,” I said. “He wasn’t the only one at fault.” I stopped myself before I brought up the fact that I was hiding something from Brody, something that would undoubtedly change
everything
.

“I don’t care,” Huntley retorted. “I don’t want a stranger around my son and I sure as hell don’t want that woman near us, or you. It’s a good thing
Grayson knows what’s good for him, because I hear Brody and his attachment are now staying at the hotel in town.”

I went quiet. I had no idea what to say because thinking about Brody with someone else was hard enough. I didn’t need to talk about it too.

“I should’ve kept quite,” Huntley sighed. “I’m sorry. I know you’ll tell me if something’s wrong and you know I’ll be there the whole time if you need me.”

“I know. Can we maybe talk about something else though? Like where you think Grayson is taking you for your honeymoon.”

Huntley’s face lit up and our previous conversation evaporated as she got talking about their honeymoon.

“I think we might be going somewhere exotic,” she said. “Grayson says I must pack as little clothes as possible.”

“That has nothing to with an exotic location and everything to do with spending your entire honeymoon in a bed.”

A blush crept up Huntley’s neck and settled in the apples of her cheeks, causing me to laugh. “Don’t be modest now,” I said, smiling. “I lived with you remember?”

“How could I forget,” Huntley giggled. “You reminded me on several occasions how loud I am.”

“You know I believe he’s doing something wrong if you’re not screaming.”

Huntley squirmed and I stifled a laugh. “Oh my God, you’re totally thinking about having sex with Grayson right now aren’t you?”

Huntley ducked her head but not before I saw her cheeks redden further. I muttered “lucky bitch” under my breath. Unfortunately Huntley heard.

“Maybe Jeff can help you out with that,” she teased. I felt my face warm and tried to act nonchalant. But the truth was, when it came to Jeff Carter, I was anything but nonchalant.

“Not this again,” I whined, pretending to be annoyed. I was happy to talk about Jeff. He’d become the perfect distraction and kept my dark, unhappy memories at bay.

“Just admit that you like him and we won’t talk about him anymore.”

“I’m not admitting to anything,” I replied, crossing my arms across my chest. “Besides, I don’t think Jeff see’s me that way. We’re just good -”

“Friends,” Huntley parroted, finishing my sentence for me.

“We’ve had this discussion before,” I said, feeling slightly exasperated.

“I know, I know, but I think there’s more to it than you’ve told me and I’m just trying to figure the two of you out.”

Of course she was right and I felt guilty that there were some things she didn’t know about my relationship with Jeff. Or more importantly how it all started.

Huntley spoke before I could think about it too hard. I looked up in time to see that we had arrived back in Breckinridge, and had already stopped outside my house.

“When I’ve figured it out I’ll let you know,” I commented.

“Thanks for today,” Huntley said after a few minutes of silence. “I had fun.”

“Me too and thank you for my gorgeous dress.”