Beneath It All (Beneath #1) (17 page)

The thought of him being gone normally didn’t bother me, but I was in a fragile state right now and I wasn’t sure about it.

“What is that?” Noah interrupted my thoughts as he nodded toward my hand.

I looked down and realized that I was playing with the two heart charms on my necklace. “Jen stopped by my office today to take me to lunch followed by some window shopping. We ended up at Tiffany’s, and I was walking around and this necklace caught my eye. I tried it on and Jen whipped out her credit card and I’ve yet to take it off.” I smiled as I found comfort from it between my fingers.

“It’s beautiful,” he said as he leaned forward and placed his hand over mine, “and I’m glad to see the smile on your face from it.”

“Me too.”

I AM LOVED

I
woke Friday morning to a note on my bedside table from Noah.

Good morning,

I had to run into the office to sign a few documents this morning, but I will be home in time to go with you to the appointment with Dr. Guthrie.

Love, Noah

I looked over at the clock and saw that I had three hours to burn before we needed to leave. Coffee was on my brain, and I swung through the kitchen to grab a cup before heading into the study to read for a bit. I loved sitting in the study; it’s where Noah worked when he was home, and it had the perfect leather reading chair sitting by the fireplace. I flipped on the fireplace and made myself comfortable.

Bobbie Jo had taken it upon herself to stock up my eReader library, and my to-be-read list was out of control. Looking through the bevy of books, I settled on one with a fighter on the cover. I figured I was in a battle of my own, so maybe I could relate to the character? Clicking on the book, I started reading and quickly got lost in the words. I didn’t realize the time until I heard my phone ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” I heard Noah say. He sounded out of breath.

“Are you okay? You sound like you’re running somewhere.”

“Yes, I’m fine. I just had something blow up in my face, and I’m running to the courthouse. I won’t be home in time to take you to the doctor, but I should be able to meet you there. Is there any way you could find someone to drive you?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll call Bobbie Jo and see if she can take me, otherwise I can drive myself. Don’t worry, I’ll work it out and meet you there.”

“I would prefer if you could get a ride. Driving to your office was one thing, but maneuvering the medical building parking lot is another with all of the terrible drivers. Be careful. I’ll meet you there. I’ve got to run. Bye.” Click.

I shrugged as I hit Bobbie Jo’s number.

I could hear her laughter as she answered. “What’s up sizzle tits?”

“Sizzle tits?” She sure knew how to answer the phone and drag a smile out of me when I needed it. God I loved my friends!

“Come on. You know they are going to be sizzling when Dr. McHottie gets done copping a feel and making them pretty!”

“What is with you and Jen naming my surgeon Dr. McHottie?” I questioned, trying to sound ticked off, which I most likely failed at.

“What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t check out your medical team before you let them touch you? We let our fingers do the walking online and did a little research. And . . . well . . . Dr. Forrester’s picture just happened to pop up. You can’t honestly tell me that you don’t think he’s hotter than hell?! Even I know that blindness is not one of the side effects from breast cancer. Fess up!”

I couldn’t control the laughter that took over as I pictured the two of them online staring at Dr. Forrester. It wouldn’t surprise me if Bobbie Jo had gotten off thinking about him, but I couldn’t honestly admit to being attracted to my doctor. Could I? “Yeah, he’s cute, I guess.”

“Liar.” She deadpanned. “Now what can I do for you?”

“I have an appointment with Dr. Guthrie today and Noah just called to tell me he won’t have enough time to come home and get me, and he doesn’t want me driving myself there. Any chance you could drive me in at one thirty?”

“No problem—I’m happy to be your chauffeur! Is he still planning to meet you, or should I plan to stay with you?”

“He had to run to the courthouse, but he said he would meet me there. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if you stayed with me until he got there. I’m happy to pay for your gas and parking.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! This is what I’m here for, and I expect you to call me when you need help. And remember, if I can’t help, you know Jen is available as well. You’re stuck with us, babe. I’ll see you in an hour. Now, go get ready. I have something urgent I need to take care of before I leave.” I heard some rustling in the background, and she let out a giggle.

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll see you soon, Bobbie Jo and . . . tell Matthew to spank you on my behalf.” I heard a hitch in her breath as I ended the call.

An hour later I was dressed and reading when I heard the front door click open and the sound of high heels hit the floor. “You ready to go, smartass?”

I bookmarked my page and looked up to see Bobbie Jo with a satisfied smirk on her face. “Good to see you too. You look thoroughly—”

“Spanked!” she interrupted. “Matthew overheard your comment, and I’m not sure if I should be pissed or thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I winked as I moved past her toward the door. “Let’s get going; I want to get this over with.”

*

We sat in the waiting room, and I glanced at the clock on the wall. My appointment was in five minutes and I had yet to see or hear from Noah. Bobbie Jo sat next to me. “It’s okay—I’m sure he is just stuck in traffic. You know how downtown Minneapolis is during the holidays: it’s a parking lot.”

I nodded in acknowledgment, as my nerves were on high alert. I was not looking forward to this appointment, and I was worried when my name was called and he still wasn’t there.

“Come on, toots, I’m going back with you,” Bobbie Jo said, offering her hand to me, and we walked back into the office. The nurse brought us back to an exam room, explained that Dr. Guthrie would be in shortly, and excused herself from the room.

As the door shut behind her, Bobbie Jo turned toward me. “Victoria, I’m sure he’s on his way and just got tied up.”

“You’re right. He promised me after my first appointment that he would be sure to be at every appointment going forward. I’m sure there is a good explanation.”

There was a tap on the door and my heart soared, only to come crashing down when Dr. Guthrie walked in. “Good afternoon, Victoria. I see you have someone new with you today.” She turned toward Bobbie Jo and introduced herself with a smile before settling down in her chair. “So, how are you doing?”

“I’m okay. The last week has been a roller coaster, but I feel like I’m where I should be and I’m confident in my decision to move forward with chemotherapy,” I blurted out. Why beat around the bush and prolong my decision.

Dr. Guthrie looked relieved. “I agree completely with your decision, and I’m proud of you for making it. I wasn’t sure—”

The door flew open, and there stood Noah, looking like he had been mugged. His hair was a mess, his tie was askew, and he was panting. “Are you okay?” I asked as I rushed up to him.

“Sorry I’m late.” He took a breath and acknowledged Bobbie Jo. “Thank you for staying with her.”

“You bet. I’m going to slip out so the three of you can talk. Do you want me to wait for you, Victoria?”

“No, you go on ahead, and I’ll call you tonight. Thank you again, Bobbie Jo.” She stood and gave me a hug before slipping out the door.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked Noah again.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just took longer than I expected at the courthouse, and it took forever to make my way out of downtown. I couldn’t find a parking spot when I got here, so I parked in the hospital lot and ran across the street dodging cars. I’m sorry.” He smoothed out his hair and did his best to tidy up his appearance before taking the chair Bobbie Jo had just vacated. “What have I missed?”

“You haven’t missed much,” Dr. Guthrie stated after Noah had settled down. “Victoria just finished telling me that she has decided to move forward with chemotherapy. I’m assuming you were part of the decision?”

“Yes, we did some research and both agreed that she should move forward with treatment.”

“That is what I figured. I was about to tell Victoria that I wasn’t sure if she was going to go ahead with it. I saw hesitation on her face last week, but I’m glad you both took the time to talk about it and come to a decision you’re both okay with.” She said the last part while looking at me for confirmation.

“Yes, I’m good with my decision. So what do we do next?”

Dr. Guthrie explained the treatment plan she had laid out before signing orders for a chest x-ray and blood work to be done before my first treatment. She wanted to run some baseline tests so that she could refer to them during the treatment cycle if needed.

Her explanation of what to expect after my first treatment was helpful, but not very reassuring. I could anticipate being extremely fatigued for the first week and would gradually get my strength back. Nausea, as well as issues with certain foods, was to be expected as my taste would be altered due to the meds they would have me on. I was relieved to hear that my hair wouldn’t fall out right away—most likely a few weeks later.

“Please stop at the front desk on your way out to get your first treatment scheduled. They will also take care of scheduling your appointments with imaging and the lab.” She closed my file, and we all stood, as it was time to leave. “Everything is going to be okay, kiddo. You’re doing the right thing.”

“I hope so. I’m nervous and relieved. I just want this over,” I confessed.

She leaned in to give me a hug. “I know you do. Hang in there. I’ll see you next week.”

Noah grabbed my hand as we walked to the scheduling desk. “I’m sorry for being late, baby. It won’t happen again.”

“I know you’re sorry and it was out of your control. I’m just happy you’re okay; I was really worried about you.”

He pulled me to his side and put his arm around me. “I promise to never make you worry again. You have enough on your plate.” He placed a kiss on my head as we rounded the corner to the scheduling desk.

*

The weekend was uneventful, and I found myself sitting in the study on Monday, looking at the calendar for the week ahead. Tuesday was my post-op appointment with Dr. Forrester, followed by x-rays and labs on Wednesday, and my first chemo treatment on Friday. I had also scheduled an appointment with my stylist for a haircut on Thursday.

Dr. Guthrie explained that my hair wouldn’t start falling out until after my second round of chemo, but I wanted to do this on my terms. My hair was currently past my shoulders, and I was planning to make a drastic change and go for a short pixie cut. I figured this way, when it started falling out, it wouldn’t be as dramatic. I was looking through short hairstyles when my phone rang and I saw it was my parents on the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hello, stranger. Your mother is concerned since we haven’t heard from you this weekend. Is everything okay?”

“Sorry, Dad. Yes, everything is okay. I guess time just got away from me and I forgot to call.” I sighed in exasperation. I can never win. “I’m just going over my schedule for the week ahead, and it’s full of tests and doctors’ appointments, plus I start chemo on Friday. I guess I’m focused on that right now.”

“That’s what your mother told me after your quick call on Friday evening. How are you feeling about it? Are you ready?”

I slumped down in the chair and gave the canned speech I had already used over a dozen times to friends. “I’m good and I know it’s the right decision. It won’t be easy, but I’m up for the fight and will beat this.”

“That’s my girl—go get ’em! Mom and I were talking, and we’re still planning to head down to Gulf Shores for the winter after the New Year.”

“Wow, I totally forgot you were heading there again this year. I know how much you and Mom enjoy the escape.”

“Yeah, we do. The older we get, the harder Minnesota winter is on us. Plus we’ve made so many friends down there over the years, and it feels like home.” He hesitated for a moment before getting down to the real reason for his call. “Your mom doesn’t want to go this year. She is worried about you and doesn’t want you to feel like we’re abandoning you by going south for a few months. I was hoping you could call her tonight and give her some peace of mind.”