Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (24 page)

Just as I think yes, yes this is finally it. Finally the time his hot mouth will be on my pussy making me come as he licks me dry. But fuck no. It doesn’t happen. We both stop moving as we hear a knock at the door. You have got to be fucking kidding me! This just isn’t working out for me. Or Jason. I can tell he really wants to finish what we started. I can see the outline of his hard cock through his pants as he gets up to answer the door. He has the door cracked so I can’t see who it is that interrupted us. I lay on the bed, hoping and praying whoever is here will go away and we can get back to what we were doing. I want that more than anything. But obviously, the Gods are working against us. 

“Fuck. We have to go. Now.” Jason barks as he shuts the door. 

“Who was it? Why do we have to go right now?” I try to keep the playfulness in my voice, not wanting to kill the great mood he was in. It doesn’t work. 

“Get the fuck up and let’s go.”

I slap the bed with my hands in frustration. Not only has the mystery guest ruined my mojo, they have killed Jason’s sweet and playful side. Damn whoever it was. I quickly grab my clothes and pack my things. Jason is already ready to go and is waiting on me when I walk out of the bathroom with my bath things. He looks annoyed, but I am not sure if he is annoyed at me or the situation. I don’t even have a chance to check the room in case I forgot something. Jason grabs my forearm with a little more force than is needed, and puts me in the truck. Before he shuts the door, he pulls out the handcuffs. I snap my head up at him, not hiding my distain for those things. 

“Please Jason. You don’t need those anymore. I promise.” I tell him. I thought it comes out strong and with a little force. But when he tilts his head as if he doesn’t hear me, I realize I barely spoke the words. He continues to stare at me and I am starting to think he doesn’t give a shit at all and will cuff me anyways. Then he drops his head and mumbles something that I can’t hear. I hear the clink of the metal, and he shoves the handcuffs in his pocket. I sigh thinking this is a huge step for us. I know it took a lot for him not to restrain me, and I feel the better part of himself is trying to break free. He shuts my door and gets inside the truck starting it up and driving off. I look over at him and he’s tense again. All that progress I thought we had made in our room is gone. Gone as if someone flipped a switch. I don’t understand why he hides himself from me. The only thing I can come up with is he doesn’t trust me. He won’t share anything with me if he doesn’t trust me. I turn and look out the window wondering how I can get a man like Jason to trust me. 

Looks like I need a fucking miracle. 

A whole fucking week of this moving every other day is finally taken its toll on me. I am tired, and I am dying from a permanent case of blue balls with the fucking sexual tension. I have tried to keep my temper in check. I have tried to stay away from her, to dial back on the temptation. But by the end of the week I cannot take it anymore. Something has to give. 

Back at the motel right before we were interrupted again, I thought I could be the man she needed me to be. I wanted that more than anything. I showed her who the man was without the mask on. I must have done right by her. The way she looked at me and touched me, I felt like I won the fucking lottery. I felt on top of the world. But then Frankie interrupted us. I am glad he did. He told me Isaac and Conner where in Texas and trying to find Karen. That damn phone call she made was hurting everything. I had no choice but the leave and go to motel to motel for a few days. A few days turned into a week. I wanted to be safe. I didn’t want anyone following us to Cozumel. 

The last thing I wanted was to stop from fucking Karen. Again. But I did. As hard as it was to pull away from her I did. I’d forgotten what kind of danger I had put us in. That was my mistake and I won’t make it again. 

Now we are at another fucking motel. They are all starting to look the same to me. I have been waiting for two days on Marcus to text me telling me I am in the clear. I pace the room waiting for any kind of word from him. I know he will not let me down, but I need him to hurry. Karen is in the shower and I know I will have to leave when she comes out. It has gotten to the point to where I can hardly control myself around her. I can’t look in her direction without my dick fucking going crazy. It has been way to long since I have been balls deep inside of her. 

Before she knew I was Jason, things were complicated, but simple. I didn’t have to worry about keeping my distance. I could go to her apartment and fuck her all night then leave. She didn’t question it, but at the same time I knew nothing could ever come of it. How was I to know I would fucking start being a pussy and want more from her? I should’ve stayed away. I should’ve kept a bigger distance between us. 

If I give into her, and actually fuck her now, things will never be the same. 

She might not know everything about me and I still don’t know if I should even tell her half of it, but she accepts me now. Even knowing I have this fucking dark side. I can tell there is a huge change in her. She is different now. I don’t really know what happened or what she came to terms with, but at the same time, I am glad. Part of me thinks she might be able to handle all my fucked up shit. All the things that make me who I am. I know I am taking a huge risk, but at the same time, I think I should try. 

Burning down that fucking old white house created a change in me. I don’t know why burning down a fucking old house would make something inside of me shift this way, but it has. I cannot really even explain how I know I am changing. Hell it has to be because of Karen. She is changing me. She has been trying all week to get me to play again. To show her how my eyes can change color when I am happy or feel a strong emotion. The first time I let her see how my eyes change was purely an accident. I was caught up in the emotion and caught up in her. I knew she’d seen the color change by the look on her face. She was shocked but mostly, she was in awe of me. Almost if star struck or some shit. 

I rarely show true emotions anymore. Dominic made sure of that when he saw the change in my eyes once. He is the reason I wear my mask. I don’t want people to see or know I can feel. I just choose not to. Life is so much easier not to feel anything. To go on as if nothing matters. I went by in my life for the longest time without feeling for anything or anyone. It was so easy to go on a job and not care who got hurt in the process. The one time I did question why I was this way, I met Rachel. 

And in the end she was just another person in Dominic’s sick game. 

I cannot go back to that night. God that night was one of the worst nights of my entire life. I stop my pacing when I hear the shower turn off. Fuck I have to at least go outside. I cannot see her naked. There is a very, and I mean a very fine line between us right now. I am dangerously close to walking over that line and turning around and cutting that fucker in half. I want her like I’ve never wanted anything else in my life. I am trying so fucking hard not to take her now. I have to fight it a little while longer. I have to know we are safe before I can think about anything else. 

Karen walks out of the bathroom that very moment in nothing but a towel. Her hair is wet and water drips from the ends onto her shoulders and down her chest. She turns and looks at me. I know she wants me just as much as I want her. The fucking waiting is killing both of us. By the time I stick my dick head inside of her tight cunt, I am going to blow my load before the first pump. Just thinking of her tight and wet pussy makes my cock stand in full attention. 

She starts to walk to me and I put up my hand to stop her. She stops dead in her tracks and her head drops. I hate knowing I am causing that hurt and rejection, but I can’t lose focus. And I know once I start to get lost inside of her, I will lose every single ounce of focus I have. She turns around to walk away, then turns back to me. She opens her mouth as if she is about to say something, but then she thinks better of it and turns on her heel and slams the bathroom door shut behind her. Fuck me. She’s shutting me out again. And damn, she is even more beautiful mad than when she tries to play the sweet and innocent one. 

I know my little vixen is in there. She still tries to hide from me, but I know. Even though it is hard to deny her, I have to for now. I walk outside, hoping my dick gets the memo soon that we are not having Karen for dinner or dessert. I have to adjust myself a few times. The fucker just isn’t getting that we cannot fuck Karen into oblivion right now. I pace outside while I look at my phone every minute or two. Marcus is late. He has me worried something happened and I don’t know what I can even do about it. I can go back, and find out for myself. But that will mean leaving Karen. I have to trust Marcus will come through for me. If anyone will, it will be him. 

Marcus is only a year older than I am. He is more like a brother to me. He always looked out for me and helped me when Dominic pushed me too far. Marcus had been with Dominic two years when I showed up. I was young and scared to death, but excited at the same time. Marcus and I shared a room together and one of first nights at my new home, and we instantly bonded. His story was similar to mine. Drugged out mother, no father, and no one else who gave a shit about him. He never told me his whole past, but neither did I. Somehow, we just knew by looking at each other. There was so many times Marcus would pull me back from going completely into the darkness like Dominic wanted. Marcus even encouraged me to date Rachel. Neither of us knew how horribly wrong that would go, and I think that is another reason he feels responsible for Julian. Why he stays with Dominic. He feels like it’s his punishment. 

I sigh thinking about my old friend. Times have changed for the both of us. He still has no clue about Karen and I can just hear him now telling me what a huge mistake it is by being with her. He warned me before I found her at that bar. 

“Jason, don’t get sucked into the double life. You have to distance yourself. Turn off all emotions.” He looked me in the eyes and said, “The last thing you, or Julian need, is another Rachel. We both know how that ended.”

Am I making the same mistake again? 

I don’t want to think this way. I tell myself that Karen is not Rachel. Karen is stronger and can handle the life. At least I want to believe that. I can’t deny the connection I have to Karen. It’s completely different from when I was with Rachel. I run my hands down my face and through my hair. The more I think of the past, the more I need to get away from Karen. I need to do things … things she won’t understand. It’s been a week since I let the beast out. I can feel him itching to be let off the chain and come out to play. I know by past experience, if I don’t let it out every once in a while, he’ll break free and do twice the damage. I don’t want to lose that control with Karen. I don’t want her to be on the receiving end of my darkness. I’ll never forgive myself for what I was forced to do to Rachel because of who I am. I don’t deserve to be forgiven for that. Her screams still haunt me and I don’t think I will ever be free from them.  

I feel as if I am about to lose control. I feel like I am going to lose my mind as well. I don’t like having to wait. I don’t like having to deny Karen what we both want. I pace some more, hoping that in doing so, it will help clear my thoughts. Thoughts of things I don’t not want to think of anymore. Memories that are forever burned into my brain. They torture me more than any man ever could. 

Finally, after for what seems an eternity, I hear my phone go off. I sigh in relief as I look down and see that Marcus finally comes through. The text says the same as they all do, but just that simple text takes the weight off my shoulders. We can leave for Cozumel soon. We can get in the truck right now and go if I wanted to. I lock my phone and put in my pocket and go back inside the room. Karen is still in the bathroom hiding from me and my rejection. I walk over to the door and stand there for a few moments thinking of what I want to do. I can knock and make it up to her, or I can leave her alone with her thoughts. 

I don’t have to make any decisions whether or not to get her. She opens the door and jumps back a little when she sees me standing in the way. She still has on the small motel towel. It barely covers her. Just seeing her takes my breath away. She doesn’t have to do anything to look perfect like she does now. 

“We’re leaving again.” It’s not a question. She knows we need to leave. I don’t know how she knows, but she is spot on. The more miles we put between here to get to Cozumel the better. 

“We need to leave soon.”

“Okay.”

We both stand looking each other. It’s starting to become an awkward silence. I take one last look at her, nod my head, and I walk away from her. If I don’t, we won’t be leaving our room any time soon.  I sit down on the bed as I wait for her to grab some clothes to change. I watch her in amazement as she does her hair. Such a normal thing to do I suppose, but as I watch her, I can’t help but to want to watch this every day. This is what normal couples do. Or at least what I would think normal couples do. What the hell would I know about being normal? She looks at me in the mirror and smiles at me. I like seeing that smile on her face. It shines light over my darkness. That smile is helping me keep the beast within under control. She has no idea of the affect she has on me.