Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (22 page)

At first when Jason left him here alone with me I was shocked. I never, in my wildest dreams thought Jason would trust someone that much. But as Frankie and I continued to talk, I started to relax with him. I knew by no means he would just let me walk out the door. I wasn’t that stupid to even consider that was an option. Jason would find me and I didn’t want Frankie getting hurt because of it. Plus with me finally coming to terms with how I felt about Jason, it was a little easier to handle. I didn’t feel as trapped anymore. 

I think Frankie was just a surprised at Jason’s request for him to stay while Jason left to do whatever it is that he does. Frankie never let it show, except in his eyes. I could see the worry and confusion in his eyes as if he had spoken out loud. His eyes were so expressive. It was kind of awkward at first but me being me, broke the ice with my blunt mouth. 

“This is fucking awkward.” Frankie looks at me with shock and humor in his eyes. He won’t admit it, but he thinks I am being funny. “I’m being serious. This is too awkward for me. We need to talk, get to know one another so it’s not so ... so fucking weird.”

This time he laughs for me and I relax at the sound. He reminds me a little bit of Katie and how she used to laugh at the blunt things I used to say. He rubs the back of his neck for a few minutes and I patiently wait for the ball to drop. He can tell me to go to hell and ignore me. But I don’t want that. I want him to talk to me. It has been to long since I had an actual conversation with another person besides Jason, but he doesn’t count. He never answers me anyways. 

“Alright. What do you want to talk about?” Frankie asks with a long sigh after he asks. 

“I don’t know. Anything? Tell me where you’re from. Tell me how old you are. Fuck I really don’t care at this point. I just need to talk to someone and not imagine it’s a brick wall staring back at me. Must have been boring for you to watch the door to make sure I didn’t come through it again or start to scream.” Frankie’s eyebrow raises as his head cocks to the side before it dawns on me. He has no idea what I’m talking about. There was no one watching the door. More lies. I don’t try to stop the laugh that bubbles out, only thing, it’s devoid of humor. 

Frankie obviously thinks what I say is funny as he chuckles and says, “I can see what you mean about the brick wall. Jason isn’t the most talkative person I have met, but he is a good man. Well deep down he is.”

The way he talks about Jason piques my interest a lot more than I should be, but the way Frankie’s eyes shine just mentioning Jason’s name I am curious to know more. 

“Tell me more about Jason. I know you’ve probably figured out what kind of situation I am in.”

“It’s not my business to know what Jason does or who he does it with. I just know he saved my life once and I owe him everything for that. I know every time Jason is in town he comes directly to me first. I wouldn’t go as far and say the guy trusts me, but I know we have a lot of respect for each other. He has helped me in more ways than I can even try to explain.” 

Frankie slowly trails off as if he is in a different time or place. He doesn’t look me in the eyes anymore, almost as if he knows he will be giving himself away. I might be mistaken, but I do believe Frankie looks up to Jason in some weird way. 

I try and stir our conversation to a lighter topic. That’s how I found out how old Frankie is and why his deals drugs. I was like a deer caught in headlights when he was so forthcoming with the information. It’s like pulling teeth asking Jason just to tell me I can have a shower. Frankie tells me more about his mother and what a sweet and beautiful woman she was before she got sick. I feel his sadness about losing the only person he had left. I could understand everything he was trying to tell me. I had lost Katie so young and I knew how much that affected your life. He didn’t really tell me in detail of the drugs, but I had a pretty good idea now. I picked up on clues from his eyes about how he really felt. A lot of the times, there was more fear than anything. Frankie was scared of something or someone. My guess is, something bad happened with a drug deal and maybe the leader or whatever you would call him, was coming after them. 

What did I know though? I had only seen this kind of shit in the movies. 

Frankie goes on and on about his life before he started the drug business. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a business but I don’t say anything for once. I want him to keep talking to me. He tells me about the cops busting the warehouse they were using to hold some drugs and how the guy they work for was pissed they’d gotten caught. He seems to be glossing over information because he never gives me meatier details. Never says any names and I am grateful for that. In a way, I want to know but a small part of me thinks the less I know about this, the better off I will be. It feels as if he has been talking to me for hours. I don’t interrupt him and I don’t try to change the subject again. I just sit back and listen to him. I hope he knows I respect him more for being so open with me and not being a dick bag to me. This is the first time since Jason took me that I don’t regret dating him. Just sitting here not being tied up like some damn wild animal and actually being able to walk around the room freely is liberating. I am actually enjoying this time with Frankie. I don’t know if he feels grateful to me for saving his life or if he feels sorry for me. Probably a bit of both. But I don’t mind. Times like this makes me miss the times Riley and I would sit around her pool and drink wine and talk all night. 

Frankie starts to laugh at something he says but I didn’t catch it. I wasn’t listening but seeing him laugh makes me laugh. I think for a second under different and normal circumstances, Frankie and I would be great friends. I feel as though Frankie could be a little brother to me. I don’t know if it’s the age difference between us, but I start to feel sort of protective over him. I may not know all the details to why he is in this sort of life he is in, but I wish there was more I could do to help him stay out of it.

We laugh a bit more for a few minutes and then both go quiet. I don’t know what to say to him and neither does he. We are right back to that awkward silence. But honestly, I don’t really mind that silence now. I know more about Frankie than I do Jason, and that’s a good thing because I feel comfortable being around Frankie now. 

Our silence doesn’t last as Jason stumbles into the room and I immediately see he is bleeding. I jump off the bed wondering if it’s his blood or someone else’s like last time. Within seconds, I know it’s his. I ask him a few times and when he doesn’t answer me I give up and start checking him over, starting with the dirty cloth covering his arm. Frankie leaves without a goodbye to me, but I know it’s not because he doesn’t want to. In some weird way I know we bonded but the last thing either of us want is to piss off Jason. 

After looking at Jason’s bullet wound, I know Frankie isn’t stretching the truth about the drugs. I know Jason is somehow involved. And surprisingly, I find myself not really caring anymore what Jason does to make money. All I care about is he is alive. And he is safe. I can fix a bleeding shoulder wound. I can’t fix a dead person. 

As I stitch his wound, I try to striking some sort of conversation. I feel like it’s the first real and truthful one we have ever had. I like this. I like him talking to me. I want to push for more, but I hold off knowing he will shut me out as fast as he can. When he asks me if I wanted a say in what he does, I had no idea what he expected me to say. I didn’t understand what he was really asking me. I was shocked and confused by his behavior. What is he really asking me? 

I stutter and trip over my words and Jason being Jason, shuts me out. Slams that fucking steel door in my face and then handcuffs me to the bed and leaves. Again. 

This is the part I hate the most. The part where I am left alone, handcuffed to the bed with nowhere to go. I don’t know when he will be back. I don’t know what he will do while he is gone. I try my hardest not to let his actions get to me. I know the only reason why he left is because he thought I was rejecting him. I just needed to process what he was asking of me. A million questions run through my mind but the one that sticks out the most is: can he really change?

I don’t know the answer. I don’t know if it’s even possible for him to change. If he is even willing to change. I can’t force that on him, he has to want that for himself. Even I know that I can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. I hope he wants to change. I want him to be a better man. I know there is good somewhere inside of him. He just has to fight for that goodness and stick with it.

What I do know is, I did not like the look on his face when he left. My heart aches and my stomach is in knots knowing I put that look on his face. He tried to cover it up by getting angry with me, but I saw it before he could hide it. I hurt him. It shouldn’t mean so much to me that I did hurt him unintentionally. But I love him. I don’t want to see that hurtful look in his eyes. But at the same time I am pissed as well. He could’ve stayed with me and we could’ve talked or even fought about it. Instead he took the coward’s way out. He left me in this fucking motel handcuffed to the bed. I should’ve known better than to beg him to stay. I knew once those words left my lips he would freak out and do this. In some weird fucked up way it’s how he knows I won’t leave him. That I will be here when he decides to come back. 

I pull at these stupid cuffs, angry at myself and Jason for doing this to me. Why can’t he just be a normal guy and have normal problems like everyone else? Why in the hell did I let myself fall for a man like him? I sigh and try to move around in the bed to get more comfortable. It’s really no use. He usually uses the ropes on me. Even though I don’t like being tied to one place, I would much rather he used the damn rope. Then I can at least get comfortable without feeling like my arm is going to fall off. 

I resume my normal position, up against the headboard and wait. I feel as if the walls are closing in on me. This is worse than being in prison. Not that I would know, but I can imagine now what it would be like. It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy. I just want Jason to come back soon. I want to try and explain myself. But honestly, what will I even say? I need more time to figure that one out. I feel as if he was asking for more of something.

The hours tick by and there’s still no sign of Jason. I can’t even get any sleep because I’m worried about him. Worried what he’s doing. Of what he might do. The last thing I want is for him to get hurt because he isn’t thinking clearly. Or hurt someone else in a fit of rage like he did with Frankie. My legs start to bounce up and down and my hands are shaking. What if he just left me here? What if he realized I’m nothing and wanted to cut his losses now? He’s never gone this long. I can see the sun is starting to come up. Jason has been gone all night. What if he’s passed out and been taken to the hospital? The more time that passes, the more I worry where he is and my brain conjures more scenarios. Did he get hurt again? I don’t like this feeling of uneasiness. I don’t like this out of control feeling. This is one of the many reasons why I hold onto my control so tightly. 

I feel like I am about to really lose my shit when Jason finally walks into the room. Thank God! I look him over while he turns, and locks the door to make sure he isn’t bleeding again. I can tell he has a weird gray color on his shirt and when he turns it’s on his face as well. He looks at me sighs, and goes straight to the shower. Not a single word is said between us. What the hell? I at least thought he will have some demanding comment to say. But nothing. That worries me even more. Something happened. I can feel it in my bones. My heart starts to race in panic. I don’t know why I am freaking out so much. But something isn’t right. I pull at the handcuffs again swearing under my breath. If I wasn’t chained up like a damn rabid dog I can go into the bathroom and at least be near him. Knowing me, I will badger him for answers that he’s not ready to give me. I don’t care though. I want to know what changed. He looks almost defeated somehow. 

I listen as the water runs and I imagine how it looks running down him. I shouldn’t be thinking of that right now. The last thing either of us need is another round of anything to do with sex. Granted, I did love how his tongue felt on my pussy.

“Stop Karen. Just stop.” I chastise myself. 

“Who are you talking too?” So lost in my damn fantasy of Jason and showering, I don’t hear the water shut off and now he’s standing at the foot of the bed starting at me. I’m sure he thinks I have lost my mind. I probably have. 

“No one,” I whisper back. Somehow he makes me lose my strong voice. I want to be demanding and in control. But with him still wet from his shower and that towel hanging off his hips in that oh so sexy way, it makes my brain turn to mush. I know I am staring now I don’t care that he sees it. I lick my lips imagining I am licking off the water droplets sliding down his sexy abs. I can spend hours licking and sucking and-

“Karen!”

My eyes snap to Jason’s at the sound of my name. How long has he been calling my name? “What?”

“Do you want to shower? We are leaving soon.”

Focus Karen. “Oh, um, yeah I’d like to shower.”

What the hell is wrong with me? I never do this. Ever since I named that stupid emotion of mine, I have turned into a different person. Or was I always this person and chose to hide her? I don’t know. This is way too much to figure out with zero sleep and the fact that Jason has yet to move. I don’t know what is going through his mind right now. He’s got his emotion mask on so I can’t tell if he is staring at me because he wants me, or if he is annoyed I keep staring. We continue our staring match, knowing I will be the one who looks away in the end. But it’s not like I can go anywhere since I am still cuffed to the bed.