Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (25 page)

As she packs up her bags, I grab mine and start to put them into the truck. I’m surprised I’m starting to feel nervous about showing Karen my home in Cozumel. It isn’t much. Just a small cabin type house right on the beach. It’s my safe haven. The one place I can go and forget everything. I hope she likes it there. We’ll be safer there than anywhere else. As far as I know, no one knows where that cabin is. I got lucky finding the property when I did. Hell it was like fate just handed it to me. 

It was around three or four years ago when I went to Cozumel for a job, some would call it a killing spree. After the job was done, I was feeling like I needed to get away from it all. Even if it was only for a few days. Then I saw the poster for the cabin. I immediately called the owner and the next day I had the deed. Funny how money talks these days. 

The cabin is very secluded. I have my own private beach, but it’s not far away from the local beach. The cabin itself is on the small side, but then again, I didn’t need much. As long as I had a bed and a place to wind down I didn’t care. 

I am actually looking forward to going for a while. At least until I can figure out what I am going to do about Dominic. I might have to meet with Marcus to come up with that plan. Good thing I’m always prepared. Even though I hated having to drug Karen when I first took her, it was necessary. While she was out of it, I had time to grab her important documents like her passport. I hired that bitch to leave the message on her machine and sent that email out. I knew in the end where we were going. Having everything we both needed to cross the border saved me a hell of a lot of time. Not to mention money as well. 

I look up when I hear the door to the motel shut and I see Karen with her bags in hand. I walk over to her and she hands them to me almost if she can read my mind. She glances at me and looks away fast and walks to the truck. She gets in and shuts the door and waits for me to move. Damn she catches on quick. I feel her watching me as I put her bags in the back of the truck with mine. I don’t even worry about checking out of the motel. I always pay with cash and I don’t think the pot head manning the desk will even know the difference. He was so high when we came in I had to walk around the fucking desk to get our room key. 

I get in the truck and start it up. I look over at Karen who is staring at me with curiosity showing all over her face. Her demeanor is completely changed now that I don’t have her cuffed. I don’t think she will admit it, but she is excited to be traveling around. I don’t think she has ever taken a vacation in her life. Even when I first met her I knew she was always working. She was in control of everything around her. Now she can let go and let me handle that control for her. In just over a month, she has changed. She isn’t as uptight and she actually relaxes. She actually looks somewhat happy. Granted the situation we are in isn’t ideal, but at the same time, seeing her like this right now makes it all worth it. 

“Will you tell me where we are going this time?” she sweetly asks. 

“If I tell you, it will ruin the surprise. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.” 

She smiles at me and shakes her head at me. The Karen I met all those months ago would have fought me to tell her where we were going. Now, she sits there, seemingly happy with not knowing. My little control freak is loosening the reins. I am being more playful with her and she loves every second of it. She brings out this new person in me that I didn’t know existed. I never knew I could be this man. The type of man who wants to make a woman smile like she is right now. A man who would do anything to make that smile happen. Or hell, I had no fucking clue I could be playful. Again thoughts of Rachel and I cross my mind. I feel a small twinge of guilt knowing, even though it’s been almost five years since she died, that I didn’t feel this way with her. I just can’t figure out why that is. 

I close my eyes, listening to the sound of the wind blowing against the truck. The loud noise is strangely soothing. The radio plays rock music but not loudly. He has it turned down almost too low to hear. Jason has been driving non-stop for six hours. He refuses to tell me where we are going. Normally that would annoy the ever living shit out of me, but I quickly realize, it doesn’t matter. I’m going there regardless of if I know or not. What I do know is he’s is taking me some place else besides a motel. He seems excited and carefree about us going wherever we’re going. I find myself being excited right with him. Surely it is some place nicer than these crappy motel rooms. 

We haven’t talked much since we left. I don’t mind the silence. It’s actually peaceful just being near him. I would’ve never thought that possible a month ago. My how the time has changed since the first night he took me. Jason seems to sense there is something different about me. We have both noticed a change in each other. He isn’t as demanding now. He has his moments still, but he lets out his playful side with every passing day. 

At first I thought he was putting distance between us because he didn’t want me. How stupid was I to even consider that. All I have to do is think of the way he watches me with lustful eyes. The way his body seems to move when I move. Especially the way he has to clench his fists to his sides, almost as if he is fighting the urge to touch me. Like right now. I open my eyes to sneak a glance at him. One hand is on the stirring wheel and the other has a death grip on the door handle. I see his left leg is bouncing up and down. I can tell he’s ready to get where we’re going. I am as well. 

I don’t mind riding in the truck for long periods of times. My family and I used to go on long road trips all the time. Well before Katie died we did. After, we barely did anything as a family. 

I turn my gaze back to the window trying to figure out where the hell we are going. It’s useless though. I don’t travel much and I wouldn’t know where we are even if it slapped me in the face. Coupled with the fact that its pitch black out so I can’t even make out a road sign until we pass by it. I don’t worry too much about it. I know there isn’t much I can do about where he is taking me. I just sit back and enjoy the ride.

I use the time to think about my parents. I haven’t seen them in over six months and I do miss them. They left for England a few months before the shit hit the fan. Although we aren’t as close anymore, they at least call once or twice a week to talk about mundane things, like how is work going or how the clinic is doing money wise. They might ask how I am, but it’s very rare. I know they care about me, but at the same time, it’s as if they can’t open up to me since they lost Katie. It was rough right after she died. I felt utterly lost in life without my big sister. I needed my parents more than ever back then. They were too far gone in their own grief to see mine. We were like robots. Waking up, them going to work, and me going to school. We would eat dinner but without any conversation. We were just existing. I accepted it and never asked why they didn’t do the things we did before our lives changed. I honestly didn’t know how to even bring it up. I watched how my mother would cry when she thought no one was watching. I saw my father drink until he passed out. I don’t even know if they knew I was still around back then. It was a dark and sad time for all of us then. But slowly, they came back. Nothing like before, but at least I didn’t feel as alone. I was okay with it. In a way I felt it was me being punished for not being able to save Katie. 

I feel Jason’s hand on my leg and it pulls me back in the present. I look at him wondering why he is touching me. He squeezes my thigh then pulls away. I swear it’s as if he can read my thoughts. Suddenly, I cannot take the silence anymore. I don’t know if it’s because I am thinking of the past and how alone I feel or not, but I cannot take it. I feel suffocated and I have a sudden urge to jump out of the truck. 

“Can we stop please? I have to get out.” I tell him and Jason immediately pulls off the road. He doesn’t fully stop and I am out of the truck. I can’t really see much but the night air calms my racing heart. I hear his door shut and I feel him walking up to me. I look up at the stars and will the tears threatening to fall away. I cannot cry. I will not cry. 

I feel his body heat before he places his arm around my waist. He pulls me close to him and I let out a deep breath. Neither of us say anything and I am grateful for it. Jason seems to know I need a minute to get myself back to normal. This is one of the main reasons why I like control so much. I have never let my past take over like that. Not since I have been with Jason. I try to find the control again. I will it to come back, but it doesn’t. I feel as if that part of me is gone and I will never be able to get it back. Jason is the one who controls everything now. It scares me and makes me feel free at the same time. 

I lay my head against him. I am still looking up at the stars thinking Katie would love to see how bright they are out here. She would want to lay out here all night just gazing at them. So many things she missed out on. Her life was over before it even began. 

Jason rubs my arms with his hands and I notice I am cold. I move closer to him welcoming his body heat. I feel like I should tell him why I freaked out. I haven’t told anyone about Katie before. Not even Riley knows about her. But I think…I think it’s time someone else knew about her. People should know her and what an amazing person she was. 

As if Jason knows I am about to say something, he tightens his hold on my waist. The feeling is comforting. It’s like he knows I need someone to help carry me right now. I clear my throat, still trying to fight back these damn tears. Finally once I feel like I am under control with my emotions, I tell him a bit about my sister. 

“Her name was Katie. She was a year older than me. People used to tell us we acted more like twins than her being the older sister.” I have to clear my throat some more as my voice breaks. “She was my everything. I looked up to her, and followed her everywhere she went. I couldn’t imagine not doing everyday things without her. If she minded me tagging along with everything she did, she never let me know. She was so beautiful. So full of life.” I have to stop. I don’t think I can keep talking about her. I thought I might feel better talking about her and letting some of the guilt out, but it’s not helping. If anything, it’s making the feeling worse. 

“How did she die?” Jason quietly asks. 

“She drowned in our pool.” I’ve said those words countless times in my head but saying them aloud to someone, nearly takes my breath away. 

“I am so sorry. So damned sorry you had to go through that.”

Somehow hearing that from him makes me feel strangely better. Not that I am over her death, or let go of the pain and guilt, but just knowing he is sincere and wants to make me feel better eases the pain just a little. 

“We can go now. I just needed a minute.” Jason doesn’t respond but I feel him loosen his grip and he turns me around. I can see the outline of him from the lights of the truck. He puts his hands over my face and leans down to give me a tender kiss. It’s not a lust filled kiss. It’s not a kiss that will set my body on fire. It’s more than that. This kiss is so light and so gentle. His sweet kiss fills me with love that I have for him. His sweet kiss makes me feel like he wants to protect me and handle me with care. I fall more in love with him with this kiss. 

When he pulls away from me I feel light headed. He sucks in a breath as he says, “I know how it feels to lose someone you care very much about. I have lost a few myself. That pain will decrease. That pain gets easier to carry with each day. It’s okay to feel sad for them.”

I wish I could see his face better. I want to see what color his eyes are. I think they are the color I have come to love the most about him. He has no idea how much his words mean to me. They hit me hard and I know he’s speaking nothing but the truth. I wonder for a second what he means about him losing someone he cares about. He doesn’t give me a chance to ask. He quickly grabs my hand and takes me back to the truck. He helps me inside and we are back on the road. Almost as if nothing just happened. 

His mood shift confuses me. I don’t know why he pulls away and shuts me out again. I think maybe he doesn’t know how to handle the emotions I bring out of him. I fight the urge to press him on the matter knowing he will just close himself off from me even more than he already has. We are back to the silence but this time I can feel the tension rolling off of him. I wonder what he is thinking of. I wonder who he lost that he cared so much about. I wish yet again he would open up with me. I want to see the man behind the mask. The man that I know is trying to surface but doesn’t know how to fully break free. 

I try to push all thoughts of what just happened out of my mind. I feel emotionally drained. I lay my head back against the head-rest and I close my eyes. I let the lure of the wind and music playing lull me into sleep.