Between a Rock and a Hard Place (27 page)

He kissed the palm of her hand and went in the other room to change his clothes.

Jessi was stuck at the table alone with Angel in an uncomfortable silence.  She wanted to address the issues that were eating away at her, and she knew he wanted to do the same, but there was no time.  In a few minutes Tommy and Angel would be on their way to the studio to spend another day together without her.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jessi swore she wasn’t going to look at that damn scrapbook. She avoided it all day, but now that she had free time before Tommy and Angel returned from the studio, curiosity got the better of her.  It was tucked in her suitcase and she had added newspaper clippings from every city they visited. She just wanted to see if the progression of photos changed from the early ones of Tommy and Angel in Asia.  She wanted to see if there was a pattern.

She threw the suitcase on the bed and found the scrapbook.  She took it into the living area and sat and stared at its cover, knowing that she was going to regret opening it.

She started backwards from the latest photo she placed in the album.  It was a concert photo of the band in Denmark and cited the date they played at the Forum Copenhagen.  She flipped back through a few pages.  Most of the photos were the same, and only cited Immortal Angel’s tour dates in the various cities.  There was a photo of her with Tommy and Angel at a restaurant in Finland.  There was a photo of her and Alyssa in Manchester.  She read the caption.
Budding Fashion Designer And Immortal Angel Wife, Jessi Blade, Takes To The Shops In Trafford Centre.
  The mention of her career as a fashion designer made her smile.

She flipped through some more pages and found herself at the start of the book.  The photo at the airport on the day of their departure brought back a sad memory.  The next few pages contained the photos she was looking for.  She braced herself before she looked at them.

There was a snapshot of Tommy and Angel laughing in Hong Kong with the caption,
While The Mrs. Is Away, The Boys Will Play.
She took a deep breath and turned the page.  Tommy and Angel were sharing an intimate meal in Shanghai in the next photo.  The caption under it read,
Immortal Angel Front Man, Lead Guitarist Bond In Shanghai, While Wife Stays Behind.
The next caption made her want to vomit.
No Wife, Happy Life.
She should have closed the book.  Threw it on the floor.  Ripped out those photos.  Instead, she re-read them.

There was rustling at the door.  She heard a beep, and Angel walked in.  He was alone.

“Where’s Tommy?”

“He stopped off at the newsstand.”  Angel glared at her when he saw the disturbed look on her face.  “What’s your problem, Jessi?”

She closed the scrapbook and tossed it on the couch.  “We need to talk.”

Angel met her gaze.  “I think that’s a good idea.”

There was so much she wanted to say, but she didn’t know where to begin and stared at him for several seconds in silence.  “I’m not going to take a back seat to you, Angel.” She blurted it out.  She knew it caught him by surprise.  It caught
her
by surprise.  She expected him to cower or at least act submissive, but he was defensive and defiant.

“I’m not taking a back seat to you, either.”

“We were supposed to be equals, and I’m no longer a third in this relationship.  I don’t know what the hell happened when you two went off to Asia without me, but – ”

“We didn’t go off to Asia without you.  You stayed behind to finish your classes.  That was your decision.  I had nothing to do with it.”

Jessi knew that their conversation was about to escalate out of control, but she couldn’t stop it or hold back.  “I know I’m the one who decided to miss the first leg of the tour, but it doesn’t change the fact that you two are together all the time.  I feel like you’re pushing me out.”

“You’re the one who’s been snippy with me.  It’s not my fault me and Tommy are together more often right now.  It’ll change after the album’s done and we’re back home.  Right now, me and Tommy need to discuss issues that involve the band and the music.  I’m sorry if that makes you feel left out, but you’re not part of the music composition process, and it requires me and Tommy to spend long hours together.”

“What if it doesn’t change after the album’s done?  What if we go home and you’re the one he turns to?  There’s already a strain on our relationship because of the amount of time we spend apart.”  She stopped to assess Angel and Tommy’s relationship.  “I don’t see any strain on your relationship.  Your relationship is reaping from my absence.”

He pursed his lips to the side.  “That’s not true.”

“Yes it is.  I can’t believe you don’t see it.  What if we get back home and nothing changes.  What then, Angel?”

“What are you saying?  What are you insinuating?  That I should walk away?  Leave Tommy?”

“No.  That’s not what I’m saying.  I don’t want that at all.”

“Really?”  His eyes took on a fiery blaze.  “Because that’s exactly what it sounds like to me.  I don’t appreciate that, Jessi.  I never once suggested that Tommy leave you for me.  I made it perfectly clear in the beginning that I never wanted to come between your relationship.  I pined away for Tommy and put my personal life on hold until I figured out where I stood in his life, and in your life.  I think you resent that I can offer Tommy something you can’t.”

Now she was the defensive one.  “And what’s that?”

“Music.  The Stage.  Composition.  I share a sexuality with him and the challenges it presents.  You don’t share that with him.  I do.”

He touched on everything that needled away at her.  Every word was like a bullet to her gut.  “I share a history with him.  I know things about him that you don’t.  I helped him through the toughest times of his life.  I was the only person he confided in.  I kept his secret safe.  He knows how much he can trust me.”

“He knows he can trust me too.  I never told anyone about us.  I kept that all to myself.  When people asked why I wasn’t dating or interested, I couldn’t tell them what was going on.  Damien knew because he was around us all the time, and he knows me better than anyone, but I didn’t even tell my mother.”

Every point she brought up, he countered.  There was one thing he could never gain over her.  “There’s still something I can offer him that you can’t.  I can offer him parts of my body that you can’t.  He’s not interested in topping you, because he makes love to me.”

“I offer Tommy things you don’t have either.  I don’t see a dick between your legs.”

She was steaming.  She wasn’t winning this argument, but she wasn’t sure if Angel was either.

They glared at each other, and Angel turned his nose up at her.  “If you think that I’m going to back off or leave Tommy, you’re delusional.  If you plan on giving him an ultimatum, it’ll backfire and blow up in your face.  Tommy will never leave me.  I might have had my doubts in the beginning.  I might have felt like I was lacking somehow in this relationship, but I’m not anymore.  I’ve secured my spot in Tommy’s heart and his life.  If you think I’m leaving, forget it.  It’ll never happen.”

“I’m never leaving Tommy either.”  She was indignant, but she hated that their conversation turned ugly.  “You’re twisting my words, Angel.  I never said that – ”

Tommy trotted into the room with his usual carefree step, unaware of the argument taking place, and silenced her with his presence.  He dropped his room key on the table, and didn’t notice the hostility in the room until he turned around.  His eyes darted between Angel and Jessi.  “What’s going on?”

They stared at each other, both with narrowed eyes.  Angel turned away first.  “Nothing.  Everything’s fine.”

“No it’s not,” Tommy said.  “What were you arguing about?”

“It doesn’t matter.”  Angel shot a steely glare over his shoulder at Jessi as he ventured toward the bedroom.

Their conversation wasn’t over.  Jessi never realized there was an undercurrent of hostility between her and Angel.  She didn’t know there was a part of her that was threatened by him, and she wondered if he felt the same way about her.  They needed to finish this baring of the souls, but she wasn’t doing it in front of Tommy.

Tommy’s deep, creased brow questioned the content of what just transpired between her and Angel. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?”

She stared him square in the eye.  “No.”  She gave no other explanation.  She didn’t want to ruin their night together.  She wanted to go to dinner and then come home and make love. How the hell that scenario was supposed to come to play after the argument she just had with Angel would remain to be seen.

She expected Angel to sulk in the room for a while, then lay on the sarcasm as he told her to go to dinner and spend the evening alone with Tommy.  To her surprise, Angel appeared a few minutes later, wearing a smile and looking hotter than hell in jeans so tight she thought they would burst at the crotch.

“Ready to go?”  His crooked smile and raised eyebrow mocked her with subtle irritation, but she refused to let him get under her skin.

Angel waited for a nip slip as he eyed Jessi’s cleavage from across the table.  The neckline was so low that she probably cut it down and stitched it before they left for the restaurant.  There was no doubt in his mind that the low cut top was meant to challenge the too tight jeans that sliced into his abdomen and threatened to cut off the circulation in his lower half.

Tommy couldn’t keep his eyes off her breasts long enough to read the menu.

“Have you decided on an entry, mi amor?  You should try the sauerbraten or the herring.”  Angel’s voice was smooth and unperturbed.  No one would have known that underneath his cool, light-hearted exterior, his heart was shattered.  He never expected Jessi to harbor resentment toward him. It was a knife in his chest, an open wound that needed to be stitched closed.

His feeling for Jessi had deepened when they spent time apart.  She wove her way into his life and into his heart and when she wasn’t there, he genuinely felt a loss.  He relished having her back in his life, but she seemed agitated that he was back in hers.

He had dreamed that they had a child together.  He was waiting for the right time to tell her about it, because he wanted to have a serious conversation about the possibility of starting a family together . . . some day.  Right now it seemed like it would never come to be.  He was devastated that she treated him with such envy, and he was offended by her bitter words.