Between a Rock and a Hard Place (29 page)

Tommy woke to Jessi’s lightly patting his chest.  He brought her hand to his lips and held it to his cheek.  His eyes remained closed as he reflected on everything that happened the night before.

Jessi and Angel had tried to disguise the mounting friction between them at dinner, and Tommy never let on that he saw through their ill-played charade.  Maybe he should have forced the issue so they would’ve vented their frustrations and cleared the air, but it was clear that neither one wanted to talk about it in front of him.

Then the tug of war with his body had to be the most erotic experience of his life.  He still couldn’t believe Jessi fisted him!

He worried about the tension between Angel and Jessi, but neither was the type to leave things unsaid.  They would work it out between themselves.  Tommy needed to remain neutral.  If he got involved, anything he said would be taken as a coalition with either Angel or Jessi and he couldn’t take sides.

He finally opened his eyes.  Jessi sat on the bed next to him with her legs crossed underneath her, watching him.

He returned her soft smile.  “Why are you awake so early, hon?”

“You only have a few hours before you have to go back to the studio. I don’t want to waste them sleeping. I want to enjoy every minute with you.”

Her usual bright blue-gray eyes were despondent and it pulled at his heart.  “You know I’d much rather be sightseeing with you and Angel instead of stuck in a stuffy room with no windows.  Busting my butt trying to put together a string of hit records isn’t exactly glamorous and not always fun.”  He smiled.  “I’d even rather let you two take me to another museum.”

He looked down at Angel, still sleeping peacefully.  When he turned back to Jessi, her forehead was creased and she was staring down at the sheet.  He propped himself up on one elbow and leaned toward her.  “You believe me, right?”

“To an extent.”

“What does that mean? Do you think I want to spend time away from you?”

“I think you enjoy writing and composing music, even though it’s hard work.”  She chewed on her bottom lip.  “I wish I was there with you.”

The dejected tone in her voice ripped his gut apart.  He pulled her into his arms and lay back down on the bed.  She snuggled next to him and curled her leg over his knee.

He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.  “I’m not enjoying this either.  We’ll be done with the album soon.”

Angel rolled over and wedged himself under Tommy’s other arm, without waiting for him to extend it. Angel kissed Tommy’s chest, and his cheek, and then rested his head on Tommy’s shoulder. The swiftness in which Angel rolled into his arms made Tommy wonder if Angel was only pretending to be asleep, while he listened to his conversation with Jessi.

Tommy held them both in his arms and the serenity made him slowly drift back to sleep.

Jessi patted his chest again.  “Do you want to go out to breakfast or do you want to stay in?”

“Let’s stay in.”

Angel picked up his head. “It will be romantic.  We can order room service and have breakfast in bed.” Angel looked over at Jessi, his face blank and unreadable.  Then he put his head back down on Tommy’s shoulder.

Jessi slowly got up from the bed.  “I’ll get the room service menu.”  He watched her as she padded out of the room, wearing the oversized Immortal Angel T-shirt that allowed the curve of her buttocks to peek out underneath.

She returned a few seconds later, carrying the black vinyl booklet, and handed it to him as she climbed back in bed.

Tommy sat with his back to the headboard and held open the menu so Jessi and Angel could read it over his shoulder.  The tension between them appeared to be slowly diffusing.  He caught them glancing at each other instead of looking at the menu, each acknowledging that there was unfinished business between them.

Breakfast was served in bed on breakfast trays, with a tiny vase and a small sprig of flowers.  “I’ve never had breakfast in bed like this before,” Tommy said.  “How did you know they had trays like this at the hotel, A?”

“You’d be surprised at the amenities a hotel has to offer when you’re staying in one of their finest suites.”

The lack of conversation that transpired would have bordered on awkward if they weren’t enjoying the hearty cuisine so much.  Still, it was obvious that Jessi and Angel weren’t interested in partaking in their usual nonstop chitchat.  He looked over at Jessi.  She smiled at him and wrinkled her nose while she nibbled on her scrambled eggs.

“What are your plans for today while we’re at the studio, hon?”

“I’m going to have lunch with Alyssa.  I have to make sure we’re all set to leave for Amsterdam in the morning, and I still have to finish some designs I’m working on.”

“How are they coming?  Can I take a look?”  He was trying to take an interest in her work.  Even if he didn’t really understand a lot of the concepts, she was a talented designer and he wanted to share her passion for the clothing she made.  It was her career and he wanted to be part of it.

Jessi moved her breakfast tray down by her knees and leaned over to retrieve her Tablet from the nightstand.  She held it toward him and flipped through a couple of screens.  “I have more ideas in my head.  I just need time to sketch and think about fabric choices.”

Angel leaned over so he could see her designs.  When she didn’t offer him a better view of her Tablet, he looked up at her, hurt that he was being ignored.  She returned his glance without much emotion and handed him her Tablet.

Angel studied the drawing for several seconds and his eyes darted over the entire screen.  He moved through a few more sketches and examined them with the same scrutiny.  “These are good.  Really good.”

“Thank you.”  Her voice was flat, but the tiny quirk in the corner of her mouth and her lowered eyes said that she was remorseful about their argument.

They spent the next two hours lounging in front of the TV.  The strain between Angel and Jessi was still apparent and there wasn’t much small talk, but it was serene to relax in the arms of the people you loved, and Tommy hoped it calmed the waters a little.

He knew it was time to leave for the studio and Angel’s subtle eye contact indicated that they were going to be late, but Tommy didn’t care.  He would’ve spent the entire day sitting on the couch with Jessi and Angel if he could.  But he couldn’t.  He removed his arms from around their shoulders and dropped his feet to the floor from the coffee table.

Jessi’s smile was more of a sad grimace.  “Time to go already?”

He nodded.

She held his hand while they walked to the door.  He hated leaving her, especially since she had that wretched forlorn look plastered on her face.  “Don’t look so sad, hon.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

She stared at him, her eyes set in a hardened gaze.  “I hate that you have to leave.”

Tommy let out a deep breath and threw his hands up.  “Fuck it.  I’m going to blow the whole thing off.  I’ll write my parts in afterwards when the songs are done.”

That brought a genuine smile to her face, albeit a small one.  “I appreciate it, but you know you can’t do that.”

She was right, and he had no choice but to leave the woman he loved, again, because his music consumed so much of his life.

“I know it’s not your fault, Tommy.  I understand this is part of being a rock star, but I hate this part.  I hate that it’s keeping you away from me.  I hate that it makes me feel like you don’t have time for me anymore.”

It was the lowest Tommy felt in his life.  He was torn in half between his obligation to Falcon Records and wanting to spend time with his wife.  He reminded himself that it was only temporary and once they completed the album things would return to normal.  He would finish the tour and never work under such a hectic schedule again.

He held Jessi for a long time and didn’t want to let her go.  He didn’t care that he was running late and that Angel’s phone kept buzzing.

She lightly patted his back.  “You’d better go, baby.  I’ll wait up for you.”

“I love you.”

Her eyes brightened a little.  “I love you, too.”

Neither Jessi nor Angel made a move to exchange a hug, and awkwardly avoided eye contact with each other.

“Aren’t you two going to say goodbye?” Tommy asked.

They finally looked at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.  Angel softened and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, but there was no ‘I love you’ or reciprocation on Jessi’s part.  She murmured a goodbye and walked backed to the couch.

Tommy waited until they were in the elevator before he said anything to Angel.  “You two better work this out, and fast.”

Angel was immediately defensive.  “Why are you telling me? She’s the one with all the accusations and foul comments.”

Tommy held his hand up to stop Angel from revealing any more details of the argument.  “I’m going to tell her the exact same thing, so don’t involve me by giving me the details.  If you want to talk about it, we need to talk about it when we’re all together.  Either way, you two need to resolve your differences.”

Animosity between Angel and Jessi was Tommy’s worst nightmare.  It could topple their entire relationship.  He knew Jessi was never one to hold back her feelings, but she never said a mean thing to anyone in her life.  Angel had a heart of gold and it made him overly sensitive, especially when it came to people he cared about.  The combination had the potential for an explosive situation and Tommy needed to somehow make sure that never happened.  He only wished he knew how to prevent it.

Tommy listened to the new rhythm Jimmy knocked out on the drums.  It was the same beat he had thumped on the back of Tommy’s seat during the entire car ride to the studio.  Tommy took the pick from between his teeth, brought it to the strings of his Fender and played a melody to accompany the heart-stopping beat that was the groundwork of the new song.  The sound of Damien’s low bass guitar rounded out the rhythm.  They repeated the composition several times until they had a solid intro, while Angel experimented with lyrics to create the first verse.

That was the point where they always took a break to assess the music they already created and examine the direction of the song.  While Angel discussed a possible change in tempo with Jimmy, Tommy started to drift off and wonder about Jessi.

The image of her lackluster smile and woeful eyes were carved in his mind.  The absence of her cheery laugh and exuberance were stolen from her soul.  Even though she had a full day ahead of her, he knew she was empty without him and probably wondering about him right at this same moment. He blamed himself, even though it wasn’t a conscious decision and not his choice in the matter. The label, or rather Angus, dictated how he needed to spend his free time.  He needed to find a way to change the situation and make it up to her.  Paris.  She always talked about the romance of Paris and the Eiffel Tower.  He would make it up to her when they went to France.

His burst of optimism didn’t last very long when he realized Paris was toward the end of the tour.  What would happen until then if the situation escalated between Angel and Jessi?  Anxiety twisted in his belly.

“Dude, what the fuck?”  Damien kicked his boot.  “Are you in a coma?  You missed your cue.”

Tommy didn’t even notice they had begun to play the song again.  “Sorry, my head was somewhere else.  Let’s start over.”  He nodded at Jimmy, who counted off four beats on his sticks.  They tightened up the first half of the song and Angel got the first verse and part of a chorus down on paper.  They were about to pick up again, when there was a heavy knock on the door and Angus paraded in.