Between a Rock and a Hard Place (32 page)

“Can I mail it to you so you can see what I’m talking about?”

“You’re one step ahead of me, Ella.  Fed Ex it to me in Frankfurt, so it’ll be waiting for me when I get there next week.  I’ll text you the address of the hotel. Thanks for handling things for me. I might have to put you on the payroll.”

She ended the phone call a little more confident now that Ella was keeping an eye on things.  But now she was distracted from her design and lost the vision that was in her head. It was coming back to her.  She needed to add a classic Jessi Blade jacket to an outfit.  The jackets were becoming her signature pieces, especially with Angel wearing them on stage. Angel. Her thoughts drifted back to him and their confrontation. When did their lives get so complicated? She needed to concentrate on her sketch so dismissed it for now. She barely drew the outline of the jacket when her phone rang again. This time it was Marissa.

“Hi, Jessi. I need you to do me a favor.  We need to get those autographed photos to the venue.  You also need to confirm catering and that we have a bartender for the reception tomorrow night.  I heard there was some issue with the liquor license and I’m not having a VIP reception where we serve soda to studio executives and the press. We may have to switch venues.”

Damn it! Jessi threw her head back and stared up at the ceiling. If they had to change venues it would be a nightmare. She put her Tablet back in her bag and headed out of the hotel room, before she was even off the phone with Marissa. The concierge desk put her in a taxi and she was on her way to sort out today’s fiasco.  It was another afternoon wasted where she was unable to complete a sketch.  At this rate, she would never finish her fall line.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Tommy cut the session at the studio short.  His lifeless guitar solo was holding up completion of the song and frustration brought production to a halt.  Everyone was frazzled and overworked.  They had a handful of songs for the new album and they were more than halfway through the tour.  Tommy couldn’t wait for it to be over.  He needed his life back to normal.

Jessi was surprised to see him back earlier than expected.  “Hi, baby.  This is a nice surprise.”  She hugged him.  “Why are you back so soon?  I thought you’d be gone a few more hours.”

“I needed a break.  We all did.”  He noticed that Jessi and Angel made brief eye contact and then quickly looked away, but he didn’t comment on it.  “What did you do today?”

Jessi rolled her eyes and shook her head.  “Near crisis with tomorrow’s promo party, but I straightened it out.”

Angel was lingering at Tommy’s side.  He was uncomfortable and looked like he wanted to say something to Jessi, but she wouldn’t look at him.  Tommy needed to do something.  The awkward silences between Angel and Jessi were killing him.  “Since we have a few extra hours, what do you two want to do?”  He hoped to open a dialogue between them, but neither answered his question.

There was too much friction in the room and it went on longer than Tommy could bear.  “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you two or why you won’t talk about it in front of me, but you need to straighten it out.”

Jessi and Angel finally stared at each other.  It was a standoff, and neither made an effort to reconcile.  Their frowns and wrinkled brows conveyed dismay and tension, rather than anger and hostility.  Since they both refused to speak in front of him, Tommy knew Jessi and Angel needed time to talk privately, in order for them to be friends again.  “I’m leaving, and I want you to hash this out and make up, because it’s not healthy. We’re a tripod. We each make up a leg in the relationship. Without the three of us, we all fall.”

Jessi reacted to his departure right away.  She grabbed his arm in order to stop him from leaving, but she quickly withdrew her hand.  She looked at Angel in an effort to reach out to him.  He gave her a single nod of his head.

Tommy left them alone, unsure if it was the right call to push the issue, but the animosity needed to stop and order needed to be restored to their lives.

Tommy hated to burden other people with his problems, but he needed to talk to someone.  He took the elevator one floor down to Damien’s room and knocked on the door.  While he waited, he prayed that Jessi and Angel worked out their differences.  He was never a praying man before, but these last few days had made him reach out for salvation.

“What’s up?”  Damien swung the door open so Tommy could enter the room, but Tommy remained positioned in the doorway. He didn’t know where to begin or how to explain the turmoil in his personal life. He leaned his shoulder and head against the door jam. “I got problems.”

“Then why are you standing out in the hall?” Damien yanked him inside and shut the door. “What gives? You fightin’ with Angel or Jessi?”

“No.” If it were only that simple. “They’re fighting with each other.”

“I knew something wasn’t right with Angel. He’s got shit on his mind and it ain’t the band.  Why are they mad at each other?”

Tommy wished he knew.  He was still trying to put the bits and pieces together. He wiped his hand across his face in an attempt to wash away some of his anxiety. “I don’t know all the details. I’m not sure I have them right either. All I know is that Jessi feels neglected that I’m spending all my time with Angel. I think she resents him and made a comment. You know he’s sensitive and easily offended. I think it spurred an argument between them and they’ve been rivaling ever since.”

“I don’t know a lot about women, and even less about a relationship between two guys. I can’t imagine how hard it is to have a relationship with three people, but I know Angel. He’s got a big heart and it’s easily wounded. He gets upset real easy when it comes to the people he loves and it eats him up. You can see it all over his face.  He’s stubborn, but he doesn’t hold a grudge.  He wants to talk, but sometimes he needs to deal with his shit first.”

Naturally, Tommy saw the grief behind Angel’s soulful eyes.  Even when the two of them were alone, it was obvious that Angel was upset. Jessi looked more upset and stressed out than he’d ever seen her, and the forlorn look and puppy dog eyes tore his heart into a million pieces every time he left for the studio with Angel.

Tommy paced around Damien’s hotel room. It was substantially smaller than the suite he shared with Angel and Jessi. “Where’s Alyssa?” He didn’t want her to walk in on his conversation with Damien, although she probably knew more than he did about why Jessi and Angel were fighting.

“She went down to the gift shop to get some stuff. Neither one of us can get used to this living half on the bus and half in the hotel routine. I’m not complaining, though.  This room may not be as fancy as yours, but it’s sweet. Shit, I’d take anything over that shoebox for a bed that I sleep in on the bus.”

“Doesn’t Alyssa get upset that you’re not spending a lot of time with her on this tour?”

“Fuck yeah. She’s pissed that I’m never around, but I’m not leaving her to spend time with another lover.  You are.”

Now Tommy understood why Jessi was resentful.  Their career as musicians required him and Angel to spend long hours together. Whether they were working in the studio, attending promotional events or performing on stage, he shared it all with Angel. They were side by side in the spotlight. Jessi was living on the outskirts. She wanted to share the circle of light that graced the stage. That’s why she had worked so hard for the band’s success and jumped at the chance to work for Falcon and the band. This tour left her sidelined, and it wasn’t fair. He wished he knew how to fix it. “I’m trying to make time for Jessi, but you know we’re spending all of our time in the studio now. Whenever I make plans with her, I end up breaking them and running off with Angel. It’s not my choice. I wish Jessi could come with us.” He didn’t want to admit it to Damien, but he’d much rather spend time with Jessi than in the studio writing or recording music. That’s why his heart wasn’t in the songs and that’s why he was struggling in the studio. A sharp pain settled in the center of his chest and spread across his rib cage.  He hated that Jessi felt left out and pushed aside.  The effort to make them both feel equally loved was heart wrenching and exhausting.  He slowly turned to look at Damien.  “Do you know what it’s like to be in love with two people at the same time?”

“Dude, I only loved one person in my whole life, and she’s the only one who ever loved me. You got two people who love you so much they’d rather share you than give you up. I wish I had your problems.”

“No you don’t.” Everyone thought he had the best of both worlds and in a sense he did, in that he didn’t have to choose between the two people he loved. But stress, worry and guilt about sharing his love equally and making sure neither one of them felt slighted, was draining.  Sometimes he didn’t know if it was a challenge he could successfully master. Fame brought an added set of complications, just when they were settling into a comfort zone. They battled one problem after another. It was a constant fight against the odds.  He started to think destiny didn’t want them to be together. He ran his fingers through his hair and tugged on it. Fuck destiny.  It was bullshit. Fate didn’t bring them together, just pulled them apart. They already conquered a mountain of emotional issues. They overcame the initial adjustment of living as a trio. This situation, where Jessi and Angel were at odds with one another, was different and by far the most lethal. The balance was thrown off and it presented the hardest hurdle to leap. Rivalry between Jessi and Angel was the one thing that might bring their relationship crashing down.

Tommy started to doubt his decision to leave Angel and Jessi alone together, with instructions to hash it out. They could be having the ill-fated screaming match right now. Neither one of them was belligerent, he reasoned.  They merely needed to vent their frustrations and clear the air. They needed to communicate.

His erratic heart beat did little to pacify his fears. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Damien. I can’t get involved.  I can’t say anything to either one of them. If I do, the other is going to think I’m taking sides. It’ll backfire and make the situation worse. I can’t let that happen.  If I do, nothing will ever be the same. Our whole relationship is in jeopardy.” Helpless about how to remedy and salvage his life, he continued to pace around the room and pull at his hair. “I can’t do anything. My hands are tied.  I got my back against the wall. I’m stuck in the middle, between a rock and a hard place.  This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. We worked too hard on our relationship.  Everything was fine until we started this fucking tour!”

Damien put a brotherly hand on Tommy’s shoulder and stopped him from pacing.  “Jessi and Angel need to mend fences. You need to make things right with your wife.”

Tommy wished there was a clear cut answer to a clear cut question.  He had no idea how they were supposed to survive as a threesome if they didn’t let go of the hostility.

The only thing he knew for sure was that if Jessi and Angel didn’t sort through their problems and make amends soon, everything would be over.  His marriage, his relationship with Angel, and the band were all in danger.  He couldn’t stand side by side and perform next to Angel if they weren’t together anymore. Conflict and resentment would be the demise of everything he loved.

How did everything that started out so right, go so wrong, so fast? His life was falling apart and there wasn’t much he could do about it. He started to sweat and strands of his hair stuck to his cheek and neck. He pulled his hair to the side and twisted it in his hand. He had no idea how to fix the situation, but he wasn’t about to stand by and watch his life be destroyed without a fight.

He raced out the door and down the hall toward the elevator.