Between a Rock and a Hard Place (35 page)

Remorse ripped her in half.  “I’m so sorry, Angel.  I don’t know how or when things escalated out of hand between us.  You’re right.  We should have put everything else aside and discussed the issues we had with each other.”

She thought about the idea of having a family with him and she couldn’t stop the smile from broadening across her face.  “I would be honored to have your baby.”  She let out a small laugh.  “Once our lives are a lot less volatile and, maybe, after we mention it to Tommy.”

Angel smiled softly and placed the most gentle, tender kiss that she had ever received on her lips.  Not even Tommy was the source of such a delicate show of affection.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Tommy didn’t need to get Damien’s opinion on a guitar riff.  They just spent hours together in the studio.  He left Angel and Jessi alone because he knew they still had issues that needed to be resolved.  Again, he questioned his decision to force the resolution between them, and his stomach flip flopped as he made his way back to their hotel room.

He put his ear to the door with apprehension, and hoped he didn’t hear any harsh words.  It was silent, except for some music on the stereo.

He opened the door to find Angel and Jessi at the table looking through tourist brochures.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Angel said with a big smile.  “We can’t decide which one of these attractions you’d hate more, the National Museum of Art and History or the Luxembourg Modern Art Museum.  The next time you see my mother, make sure you thank her for teaching me to appreciate art.”

The posture between Angel and Jessi was relaxed and warm. He hoped they settled things between them, because he needed to get some things of his own out in the open.

“Are you OK, mi amor?”  Angel asked with concern.  “You look upset.”

“Me and Angel kissed and made up,” Jessi said.  “We’re sorry if we put you through hell.”

Angel snorted.  “We were all in hell.  But we’re happy to have left it behind and now we’re ready to move forward with our lives.”

Tommy breathed a sigh of relief.  “There are some things I need to say to both of you.”  He put his guitar down on the couch, and Jessi and Angel left the table and came to his side, concerned about what he had to say.

“Everyone thinks my life is easy,” Tommy began.  “They think that everything’s icing on the cake for me.  Everyone says, ‘it must be good to be Tommy Blade’.  Well, it’s not. It’s damn hard. My heart is torn in half. I love both of you more than I could ever put into words. I would die without either one of you. I don’t know why I’m like this. I don’t know why I need you both so much. Do you have any idea how hard it is to try to balance that love, so one of you doesn’t feel less important than the other? I constantly wonder and second guess whether I did something that might be misconstrued as favoring one of you over the other. I’m so afraid of hurting one of you. I hated the friction between you two, but I couldn’t get involved. Our relationship is fragile. Our life hangs by a thread, and it’s all up to me to make sure there aren’t any frays in that thread.  Otherwise our entire life could unravel. It’s a lot of responsibility.”

Jessi and Angel were mute, waiting to hear exactly where each of them stood in his life.  He thought they knew how much he loved them, but they probably needed him to clearly define how much they meant to him. He should have told them a long time ago.

He went to Jessi first, only because she seemed to be the one who needed comfort the most. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist and she clenched the material of her top in her hands. If she let go, he had the feeling she’d lose the battle with the tears hanging in the corners of her eyes.

He hated to see her unhappy.  It stabbed him in the heart like an ice pick. His throat closed so tight that it was hard to speak above a whisper. “Jessi, we’ve been together for so long. I can’t live without you.  You were the first woman I fell in love with – the first
person
I fell in love with. When I met you, I knew right away that you were the only woman for me. You’re the most generous, unselfish person I ever met.  You’re beautiful and talented. I’m proud to call you my wife.  I never trusted anyone as much as I trust you. You were the only person I could be myself around. You’re good to me. You have a heart of gold. You make me so happy and I love you so much. It’s because of you that I believe in myself. You’re my inspiration. You’re the music in my life. I want you to know how much I need you and how much I love you. I would do anything for you.
Anything.
All you have to do is ask.”

He held her in his arms, and she latched onto him.  Her voice was squeaky and shaky. “I love you, baby.  I don’t want to fight.  I just want us to be happy.  The three of us.  Together.”

Angel’s arms surrounded them and huddled them together. His head was on Tommy’s shoulder and his damp cheek portrayed his emotion.  Angel had a heart as big as the world. Most people only have one love of their life, but Tommy was blessed with two.

“That was so beautiful, mi amor.”  Angel’s spoke in a soft, slightly wavering whisper.  “That’s why we both love you. You have so much love in your soul.”

Tommy’s legs were slightly shaky, drained of their strength by emotional stress and turmoil.  He didn’t know if he could withstand another outpouring from his heart, but Angel deserved to hear how much he was loved. Jessi knew how much Tommy loved her, even if she needed to hear it once in a while, but sometimes he thought Angel had no idea.  “I love you just as much, Angel.”

Angel popped his head up, anxious to hear more.  His eyes were dark and intense, always filled with passion and fire.

They still made Tommy’s heart lurch in his chest.  “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

Angel shook his head and Tommy chuckled under his breath.  He wasn’t expecting an answer.  It was quirky little things like that which made Angel so adorable. He broke their three-way embrace and cupped Angel’s face in his hands.  “I love you, A. You don’t even know how sweet and sexy you are.  You came into my life and turned it upside down in a crazy, passionate, jump off a speeding train kind of way.  As soon as we met something went off in my head and in my heart.  I knew that we’d end up together.  Just like when I met Jessi.  I didn’t know how it was going to work, but I knew we were all going to be together.”

“I knew it, too.  We were destined to be together.” He glanced at Jessi.  “All three of us.”

“You were the first man I ever loved, Angel. You’re the most romantic person I ever met and the sexiest man I ever laid eyes on.  You’re generous and kind-hearted and patient. No one else would have waited for me the way you did. You were the missing link in my life.  Without you there would be a hole in my heart that no one else could fill. You own the other half of my heart.” He moved his hand to the back of Angel’s neck while he cradled Jessi in his other arm.  “The two of you hold my heart together. Without either of you, it would be in pieces.

Angel’s lips drew back into a quivering smile. “My prince.  You captured my heart the moment we met and you haven’t let go since. Every day I love you more.”

“Angel, you call me your prince.  You’re my king and Jessi, you’re my queen, and you both rule my heart.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

The bus pulled into Frankfurt shortly before midnight. It had been a rough couple of weeks for Jessi, probably the toughest she had ever endured, but things seemed back to normal.  Once the album was finished and Tommy wasn’t forced to spend so much time away from her, their lives would be perfect again.

She checked the group into the hotel, and Angel came up beside her. “This is a magnificent hotel.”

She glanced around the lobby with its marble floor and intricate furnishing.  “Honestly Angel, we could stay in a Motel 6.  As long as we’re together, I’m happy.”

Tommy put his arms around her waist.  She leaned into him and turned for a kiss just as a burst of flashbulbs lit up the lobby.  Someone must have tipped off the paparazzi about their arrival. Jessi shielded her eyes from the bright lights and waved at them.

Security quickly stepped in and escorted the band to a waiting elevator while Jessi finished the check-in process. The paparazzi followed them, but one man, in a stylish charcoal gray Armani suit, stayed behind to take her photo.  She periodically looked at the camera and smiled, wondering why the photographer found her so interesting.

She took her room key and the paperwork and headed toward the elevator bank with the photographer in tow.

“Mrs. Blade, I’d like to do an interview with you.”

Since her unpleasant run-in with the paparazzi, she wasn’t in the habit of speaking with them anymore, even if she was intrigued by his crisp German accent.

“I want to do an article showcasing how you built your career as a successful designer.”

He wanted an interview about
her
life, not about the band. It was the first time the media was interested in her career and she stopped short with surprise.  “You want to interview me about my career in fashion?”

“Yes, yes.  You’re living the American dream.”

It was true, only sometimes when you realize your dreams, they don’t always hold the same rewards you anticipated. Her cell phone buzzed. Marissa was calling her, most likely about tomorrow’s schedule and to hand off a bunch of last minute details that needed to be tended to.  “I’m sorry, I need to take this call,” she said as she put the phone to her ear.

“Hi Marissa.”

“I’m glad I caught you.  You have to get back to the bus and tell the driver he can’t park in the lot in front of the hotel. He has to use the one in the back or he’ll get ticketed and Mr. Abelman warned me about violations on the tour bus.  We already have two. I can’t let the driver get another summons or it’ll cost him his job.”