Between Love and Lies (36 page)
Read Between Love and Lies Online
Authors: Jacqui Nelson
His hands were warm and solid around her waist as he helped her onto the mare. Unfortunately he released her with the timeliness of a polite suitor, or man full of disinterest. He untied her reins and gave them to her without touching her hand.
Then he swung into his own saddle and winced. The beating he’d taken behind the jail continued to bother him. Yet he’d suggested this outing. Her spirits deflated further. He must be very eager to speak with her, so he could leave Dodge.
Side by side, they rode south out of town. She didn’t ask where they were going. She cared even less now. It was enough that he was with her. He hadn’t said goodbye. Not yet.
They traveled along a swath of earth packed hard by the hooves of thousands of longhorns. As they continued, an increasing familiarity tugged at her senses. She ignored it, preferring to cocoon herself in the daydream that Noah might be taking her all the way to Texas.
The abrupt halt of their horses jarred her back to reality.
Noah had brought her home. But this was nothing like her home of a year ago.
In front of her stood one of the most idyllic houses she could imagine. A waist-high fence surrounded a small but solid looking house with windows flanking a door on a south-facing porch. She pictured herself sitting on that porch every evening, staring south toward Texas.
Alone.
The ember of hope in her heart sputtered and snuffed out.
Noah dismounted.
She scrambled down before he could help her. “You built this?”
“I wanted to replace the house my herd destroyed. This one will stand the test of time. It’ll last.” Despite his words, he eyed the house as if it troubled him. “Neither beast nor nature can easily tear this down.”
She stared at the structure. She didn’t see a home. She saw another prison. A solid one built—like he said—to last.
“Do you want to see inside?” he asked.
The thought of entering the house unleashed her panic. She stumbled away from it and Noah. “None of this is mine. I never earned those last acres.”
“I shouldn’t have asked that of you. I’m giving them back. All of them.”
Her throat constricted. One word burst free. “Don’t.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Don’t?”
She wanted to say,
Don’t leave me
. She settled for, “Don’t be so kind.”
“I only want to help.”
“Stop telling me that!”
The lines etching his face deepened.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m being ungrateful. It’s a lovely house. Thank you.”
“Now who’s being kind? You’re trying to spare my feelings.” He scrubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “Tell me how to make things better, Sadie.”
The sound of her name on his lips made her heart ache. She shook her head.
“I know not everything can be mended or replaced, but I hoped with time I could earn your forgiveness.”
Tears blurred her eyes. She refused to let them fall. “I forgive you. I did a long time ago.”
“Oh, hell,” he muttered. “Not even at first was it so bad you cried. Bringing you here was selfish. You need…something else. Maybe more time.” He turned toward his horse. “I should go.”
Of all places, he’d leave her here? Once again, she stood on her farm watching him destroy what she cherished most.
Anger ripped through her like fire along a tinder dry prairie. “If you leave me here, I’ll burn down that house.” She jabbed her finger at his beautiful offering. “Then I’ll sell this land and turn my back on all of it, because it means nothing to me—the same way my letter meant nothing to you.” Her voice rose higher and higher with each word. “Go on. Climb on your horse and leave.”
He stared at her with an expression so full of worry it left room for nothing else.
The ache in her heart swelled until it made her entire body hurt. Damn his concern. She neither wanted it nor needed it. “What’re you waiting for?” She shoved his chest with both hands. “Leave me here
.
Like you did before.”
When he didn’t budge, she launched herself at him with all her strength. He caught her before losing his footing. He landed on his back with her on top of him. His breath left him in a hiss. Too late, she remembered his injuries.
She cringed. This wasn’t like before. She couldn’t hit him like she had last year. She couldn’t pretend she hated him. Not when he was the most precious thing in her world. A hundred times he’d earned her forgiveness and her love, but he deserved his freedom. He deserved a peaceful goodbye.
You have to let him go
, she told herself.
Her body disagreed. With a will of their own, her arms rose to bring him closer.
Despite his injuries, he hugged her in return. “I wasn’t leaving you.” His voice was quiet but firm. “I was only going into town. No farther. I came to visit you today with the intention of courting you.”
“Courting me?” She raised her head to gape at him. “You called Miss Sullivan like we were strangers. You kept me at a distance. You wouldn’t touch me.”
“Isn’t that how courting goes? I wanted to treat you with the respect you deserve, the respect I should’ve given you when I first arrived in Dodge. I wanted to take things slow, do things proper.” He exhaled a ragged breath. “To hell with being proper. Tell me the truth. Tell me about your letter. If the words are true, say them.” Despite his gruff tone, hope glowed in the golden depths of his eyes.
She adored his eyes. “I love you.”
His mouth met hers in a scorching kiss that stole her breath, but promised more than it could ever take. When their lips finally parted, they were both breathing heavily.
“I love you, too,” he said. “Will you come home with me to Texas?”
“Can we leave today?”
“If you want.” A smile tugged the corners of his mouth. “But first, what do you want to do with your farm? Shall we burn down the house together?”
She gave her smile full rein. “Let’s give it Bat and Lizzie.”
“I imagine they both prefer living in the thick of things. Better to pick someone who needs to get out of Dodge as much as we do.”
In unison, they both said, “Doctor Rhodes.”
That they’d agreed so easily about anything concerning the doctor made her laugh.
Noah paused to pay great attention to exploring the curve of her lips before he continued speaking. “Living in the country when he isn’t busy doctoring in town might bring him some peace.”
“I hope he gives up that rum-hole across from the Star.”
“You’ve seen him go there as well?”
“I’ve seen many things from my window. I watched you talking to your friend Lewis as he packed his horse for Texas.” She felt her brow tighten. “I thought you might go with him.”
“Not without you.” He pressed his lips to her forehead and kissed her worries away. “Lewis will be happy to see you come home with me. I know I’m going to be even happier.” His lips sought hers. He kissed her until she smiled again. “I look forward to making you smile in Texas. Every day.”
Pure joy coursed through her veins. She threw back her head and laughed. The sky arced high above them, endless with possibilities. But when she looked down again, the warmth in his eyes was all she truly needed.
EPILOGUE
Texas
May 1878
A single longhorn
stood in Sadie’s garden. The brute eyed her indifferently, chewing on a mouthful of greens.
She grabbed her broom and waved it at the beast. “Get out of my vegetable patch, you pointy-headed devil.”
The steer sauntered through the broken fence, leaving her to survey the destruction.
“Some things never change,” she muttered under her breath.
“Having difficulties, Mrs. Ballantyne?” a deep, rumbling voice inquired from behind her.
A current of heat curled up her spine, leaving a tingle of anticipation in its wake. She laid her broom against the remnants of the fence but didn’t turn around. “I seem to have the same trouble every spring.”
Reaching around her, Noah gently drew her back until she leaned against his chest. “With cattle?” he whispered close to her ear.
“And cowboys,” she replied on a sigh.
When he laughed, his breath filled the shell of her ear, heating her straight through. “Didn’t your husband tell you to stay inside the house?”
“Didn’t I tell my husband to keep his cattle out of my garden?”
A rumble of appreciation vibrated in his chest as his hands moved to caress her swollen belly. Then he lifted her into his arms. “The baby’s due any time, and you agreed to lie down and rest.”
“I’ve spent enough time in that bed,” she grumbled.
He nuzzled her neck. “Are you complaining about your husband’s lovemaking?”
“My husband’s made love to me in every room inside our house and many locations outside too, so my remark about the bed is irrelevant.” She couldn’t have stopped her satisfied smile even if she’d tried. She didn’t try.
Noah carried her into the house and up the stairs. “You sound like a wicked woman. I learned you worked in one of the most notorious saloons up north. Do you deny it?”
“No.” She held onto the word, letting it slip from her mouth with a slow deliberation that matched the pace of her hand exploring the muscles inside his shirt.
He swept through their bedroom door and rocked to a halt by their bed. Under her hand, his heartbeat raced in time with hers. So did the pulse in his neck. His strength, solid and warm as stone heated by the sun, continued in a nerve-tingling roughness as she traced the line of his jaw. The same determined line she’d gazed up at when he’d saved her from his herd while she’d cursed him for the Devil.
His arms tightened around her as if loath to let go. “And the lies that came between us?”
“I no longer need them.” She added her lips to her exploration of the determined ridge that ended at his ear. “The truth is my husband was my first and only lover. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. So you see…” she caressed the curve of his ear with her tongue, “…my past isn’t very scandalous after all.”
The smile she craved lifted his lips. “I still think you’re wicked.” He set her on the bed, leaning over to nip her neck before drawing back. “Deliciously so.”
She tugged him down beside her on the mattress and sighed when he wrapped his arms around her again. “So are you, Mr. Ballantyne,” she whispered against his lips. “And thank heavens for that. It wouldn’t be any fun being wicked without you.”
The End
AUTHOR NOTE
The spark
for
Between Love & Lies
came from the letter below and my collection of
Time-Life
Old West
books containing these lines: “The longhorns were carriers of a microscopic tick. The Texas animals were immune to the parasite, but the same tick produced deadly splenic fever in local cattle.”
I imagined a small farm, held together only by the grit and hard work of its owner, might not survive such an event. I wondered what might happen next, both on that unlucky farm and in the nearest town: Dodge City, the Queen of Cattle Towns—where life would be challenging for a woman who luck had deserted.
~ Jacqui Nelson
January 1, 1878 - Letter in the Washington, D. C.
Evening Star
“Dodge City is a wicked little town. Here those nomads in regions remote from the restraints of moral, civil, social, and law enforcing life, the Texas cattle drovers, from the very tendencies of their situation the embodiment of waywardness and wantonness, end the journey with their herds, and here they loiter and dissipate, sometimes for months, and share the boughten dalliances of fallen women.”
DEDICATION
For my readers
who waited so long for this story. Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement while I strove to find my own words to finish this new venture into the Old West.
DEAR READER
Welcome
to book one in my
Gambling Hearts
series. Lewis Adams and Doctor Rhodes’ adventures are coming next. I hope you enjoyed reading Noah and Sadie’s gamble for love in
Between Love & Lies
. If you did, please consider writing a review or say hello via the usual places including email. I look forward to hearing from you!
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