Danny gave Paul a hesitant look. “I’ve never driven in snow.” “It’s not that hard. Just drive slow and you’ll be fine.”
Danny turned to Eve, wondering why he hadn’t considered the snow before now. “Have you driven in snow?”
“Duh,” Eve said, sitting next to Paul, drinking her own cup of coffee. “I lived in New York for ten years. Just ‘cause I didn’t own a car doesn’t mean I never drove. I spent half my life in the gallery van running errands. I can drive once we get into it.”
“There’s a cold front all the way up the coast. You’d have to do a lot of driving,” Paul said with a wince. “Do you want me to look at the car again? I should make sure they did everything.”
“It’s fine.” Danny avoided Paul’s eyes, taking a drink of his own coffee and then picking up his pack of cigarettes. He lit one, blowing out the smoke shakily as he glanced around their house that was barren save the few pieces of furniture they were leaving behind, the kitchen table being one of them. He turned to Eve in confusion. “Why didn’t the movers take the table?”
“I kinda wanted to keep it,” Paul said tentatively. “If that’s okay?” “Yeah, sure, sorry,” Danny said, taking another drink of coffee. “I forgot.” “You don’t look up to driving, Danny Boy. Maybe Eve should drive first.”
“I’m fine,” Danny said, blinking away the strange shock that came from the knowledge this was all really happening. Their time was up. They would have to leave today if they wanted to make it to New York before Christmas. “I’ll just have another cup of coffee.”
“Are your parents stopping by?” Paul asked Eve curiously. “Aren’t they coming to say goodbye?”
“I said goodbye last night at dinner,” Eve mumbled as she stared at the table with wide, unseeing eyes. “They gave me money for Christmas. I must scream starving artist.”
“Don’t they know Danny’s loaded?”
Eve lifted her eyes to Paul, giving him a baffled look. “Why would I tell them that?” “Ease their minds,” Paul offered with a smirk. “Your mother might take to him
more if you told her. She hasn’t changed that much, has she?”
“If she doesn’t like him for who he is, then fuck her,” Eve said bitterly. “She barely spoke to me at dinner. She’s pissed off about this move. I felt bad about my daddy, though. He was really torn up.”
“They can come visit,” Danny said as he reached out and grabbed Eve’s hand, squeezing it softly. “We’ll have plenty of room.”
Eve pulled a face of distaste. “He brings
her
with him.”
“Okay,” Danny said, letting go of Eve’s hand to stand up and grab the coffeepot.
He walked to the table and refilled all their cups, and then set the pot down in the middle of the table, knowing it was the last pot he was going to make. Paul and Eve seemed to be thinking the same thing, because they both stared at the pot sitting there nearly empty, with sadness swirling in both of their eyes.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Eve squeaked as she pushed away from the table.
Danny and Paul both watched her run down the hallway in a way that betrayed her need to hide and cry one last time. Danny closed his eyes, resting his elbow against the table and letting his head fall to his hand as he took another shaky drag off his cigarette.
“Maybe you guys should wait one more day,” Paul whispered. “The weather is shit. It’s raining here and it’ll be snowing from Georgia on.”
“I don’t want her to be on the road for Christmas,” Danny said, tapping his cigarette against his ashtray.
“Yeah,” Paul said softly, his voice cracking. “Danny Boy—”
Danny shook his head frantically, fighting his own tears. “No, no—don’t do that.”
Paul was silent for a moment before he pushed away from the table. “I’m gonna go check on her.”
“Yeah, good,” Danny said, breathing a sigh of relief when Paul stood.
Danny waited until he was down the hallway before he threw his cigarette in the ashtray and collapsed against the table. He buried his face in his arms as he took in choking gasps of air, his chest heaving from the effort it was taking to hold back the sobs threatening beneath the surface. He hadn’t needed to cry this hard since the day he had found out his mother had been killed in a brutal car accident.
A part of Danny was angry with Paul for giving him two weeks of them being nothing more than lovers to each other rather than slave and Master. Maybe a time would come when he would appreciate the sweeter memories for what they were, but right now they just felt like a knife that had been twisted into an already painful wound. Tasting what could have been—what should have been—didn’t make it easier. It made it a thousand times worse.
He tried to find a way to cling to anger because it was the only thing that kept him sane. If he focused on anything else, he’d be sitting on the floor sobbing like Eve probably was and he couldn’t handle being that emotionally bare at this point in the game. Paul was getting married in ten days. The deed was already done and he had bled enough over it.
When he felt the anger bloom in his soul, the rolling fury of injustice that was taking Paul away from both he and Eve, Danny finally pushed away from the table. He left Eve to Paul and made quick work of gathering the last of their things. The rain outside was bothersome, but not torrential, and Danny got the rest of the car packed up with the thought that Mustangs were not made for cross-country travel. Even with most of their belongings going with the movers, the car was packed tightly and it was with no small amount of regret that he decided to leave his coffeemaker behind. Paul could have it to match with the kitchen table. Danny just tried not to imagine Trisha making coffee with it.
With one last inspection of the house, Danny realized he was done. They had everything they were going to take. Strangely, he couldn’t care less about the house itself. How could he give a shit about a stupid house when he was willingly leaving a man he had loved for as long as he could remember without even a fight?
In the end, Danny was doing exactly what Paul had accused him of. He was taking his ball and running away, acting like an angry, hurt child who didn’t understand why he couldn’t get his way.
He found Paul and Eve on the bathroom floor naked. Eve was draped over Paul, her head buried in the curve of his neck as her body shook with the sobs bursting out of her. Paul’s hands were running up and down her back soothingly as he stared at the ceiling with wide blue eyes that glimmered strangely for him.
“We gotta go,” Danny said in a flat, dead voice as he looked down at the two of them.
Paul lifted his head, his eyes running over Danny with a knowing look that left him uncomfortable. He realized he would never be able to hide his pain from Paul. It made no difference that Danny had stopped short of breaking down in front of him, Paul could see through his anger and knew he was broken on the inside. But Danny couldn’t get too angry about being exposed because he saw the pain in his soul reflected in Paul’s blue eyes and written all over his handsome face. For the second time in a little over ten years, Paul had finally found a pain that could actually hurt him.
“Five minutes,” Paul said softly. “Please.”
“Five minutes,” Danny agreed, his voice still dead and harsh in a way that had Eve stiffening over Paul. “I’ll wait in the car.”
They took longer than five minutes and Danny looked at his watch for the tenth time as he sat in his car, the rain beating against the windshield. The heater had long since warmed up the car, and he was contemplating going back in and losing his temper when the passenger side door was suddenly opened.
“Get in,” Paul said, pushing Eve into the passenger’s seat. When Eve crawled in, Paul fell to his knees in the wet grass next to the door and reached out to her. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Eve said, her fingers tightening around Paul, the two of them uncaring about the rain that was getting both the car and them wet. “Be happy.”
“You too, both of you,” Paul whispered into the curve of her neck as he placed one final kiss there. Then he lifted his head, staring past Eve to Danny, his eyes still shiny as they ran over him. “Please be happy.”
Danny turned to stare out the window once more. He had to close his eyes after a second, because he could feel Paul’s eyes on him. There was a part of him that wanted to jump out of the car, call Trisha and tell her everything just to stop what was happening. The thought had crossed his mind more than once. Eve’s room had been filled with photographs that could have ended Paul’s marriage before it started but Danny could never bring himself to betray Paul that profoundly, even if it would have been in his best interest.
Paul’s trust, it seemed, was more important than his well-being in Danny’s mind and he found himself cursing the game for ruining him that badly.
“I’m sorry,” Eve said softly after a long moment of silence from Danny. “He doesn’t mean it.”
“I know he doesn’t,” Paul whispered in a way that Danny knew meant he was talking to him instead of Eve. “I’ve loved him for a long time. I know him better than anyone.”
“We gotta go,” Danny snapped, his face scrunching up in fury and sorrow when the tears started threatening again. “Eve’ll text you when we get there.”
“Do that,” Paul said and then leaned over and kissed Eve once more, speaking softly against her lips. “Merry Christmas, Evie Girl. Go ice-skating for me. I always wanted to do that, skate under that big Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.”
“Yeah,” Eve said, a smile sounding in her voice despite the anguish. “I’ll do it—just for you.”
“Good,” Paul said as he stood up and held the car door. “Drive safely.”
“Sure,” Danny said, turning his windshield wipers up when the rain started falling harder. “You better get inside before you catch something. It’s too cold to be standing in the rain. I don’t want you to get sick.”
Paul laughed and Danny turned to him with a frown, one eyebrow arched in irritation. He was surprised to see Paul smiling as he stood there in the cold rain, his breath puffing into the morning air in silvery wisps.
Eve sighed, putting a hand to her mouth. She looked from Paul to Danny as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “What’re you going to do when you don’t have him around to fuss over you?”
“I don’t know,” Paul said, his angelic blue eyes resting on Danny. “I really don’t.” “You’ll probably be all right,” Danny said, rubbing his hand over the leather of his
steering wheel as he looked away from Paul once more, finding that he really did want
his last memory of him to be him standing there smiling in the rain. “Go inside—now.” “Fine,” Paul said in a soft voice and then used his hold on the door to close it.
Danny drove away before he could change his mind, looking into the rearview mirror to see Paul standing there watching them leave. When they reached the end of their road, Eve crumpled next to him, her forehead resting on her knees as great, racking sobs burst out of her.
“I’m dying,” she choked out as if begging Danny to ease her pain. “I’m really dying.”
“Yeah,” Danny sighed as the road became a watery blur that had nothing to do with the rain. “Me too.”
“You’re not very festive.”
“I’m festive,” Paul argued as he worked at packing up the kitchen supplies Danny had left behind, which were sparse considering how much he loved to cook. He had taken most everything from the kitchen with him to New York. “Just, you know, I wish they hadn’t left before Christmas. That’s sorta depressing.”
“Mmm.” Trisha abandoned her work on helping him pack up and wrapped her arms around him from behind. “But Eve’s got that new job. She can make real money instead of selling pictures on street corners. Aren’t you happy for her?”
“Sure,” Paul said, staring down at the kitchen sink unseeing, having forgotten in his misery he had told that lie to Trisha, using the excuse of a new job for Eve as the reason Danny wouldn’t be at the wedding. “It’s for the best.”
“He can still come back and visit,” Trisha went on, squeezing him tighter. “And it had to have been awkward living with both of them. That was really inconsiderate of him, bringing her in here without even asking.”
Paul shrugged. “It’s his house. I just rented a room from him. Who was I to tell him who could live here?”
“I suppose,” Trisha said, grabbing his arm and turning him to her. She gave him a smile as her blue eyes swirled with concern. “You want me to stay here with you tonight?”
“Oh, no,” Paul said with a shake of his head. “The place is almost completely empty. You’ll be uncomfortable.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, but I do,” Paul said, forcing a smile as he looked down at Trisha. “I’ll work on packing up everything tonight and I’ll just bring it over to your place tomorrow after work. Are you sure your father doesn’t mind us moving in together early?”
“He’s not that old-fashioned,” Trisha said with a laugh.
Paul arched an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “He isn’t?”
“Okay, well, he is,” Trisha admitted grudgingly. “But what can he do—we’re getting married in ten days. I want you at my place. It’ll be great. What’s Danny going to do with the house?”
“I dunno,” Paul said, looking back around the empty house once more and frowning. “He never told me. I’ll call him after the honeymoon and discuss it. Maybe I could find someone to rent it or something. Seems a shame to just leave it empty.”
“It does,” Trisha agreed and then reached out and grabbed his hand. “I’m going to go work on the bathrooms while you finish up in here.”
Paul squeezed Trisha’s hand before she turned and walked away and then went back to working on the kitchen. He couldn’t believe Danny actually left his coffeemaker behind. There were still the last bits of coffee in the pot from that morning. Paul stared down at it, swirling the coffee in the bottom around a few times before he sighed and went to the sink, washing out the last pot of coffee the three of them had shared together. He watched the coffee swirl down the drain and closed his eyes against the despair just that one image caused.
He set the pot in the sink, the water still running and covered his face with his hands as he took several long, cooling breaths and tried to find the strength to hide his pain from Trisha. He hadn’t known she was going to show up to help him pack up. It was thoughtful of her, but inconvenient when he needed more time to build up his façade. They’d only left a few hours ago and Paul thought he’d have the rest of the day to wallow in his grief before he had to hide the misery that was crushing the air out of his chest.