Beyond The Music (The Rock Gods Book 7) (18 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Lincoln was asleep when Aaron entered his bedroom. He’d somehow managed to curl up on the bed under the quilt with the open lyric book sitting on the mattress beside him. He had no idea how much time had passed since he’d slammed the door to shut out Aaron, but the darkness outside the glass sliding doors told him it was still nighttime. When Lincoln’s eyes focused, he saw Aaron holding his book and reading the new song he’d written only hours before. Lincoln jack-knifed up in bed.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Lincoln barked.

Aaron flinched at the low, threatening rumble of Lincoln’s voice. He handed Lincoln the notebook and seemed visibly moved by what he’d just read. “Jesus, that’s . . . heartbreaking,” Aaron’s gentle voice floated through the air and the words wrapped around Lincoln like an embrace.

Lincoln closed the book, tossed it beside him on the bed and drew up his knees to his chest beneath the blankets. “Did you have a reason to come in here?” Lincoln asked.

“I knocked,” Aaron explained. “When you didn’t answer, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine, just tired.” Lincoln’s tone had calmed now. Aaron’s smooth voice had a way of doing that for Lincoln. The man was a balm for the rough edges of his life. How could he ever do without that when Aaron finished working with him? Lincoln sighed loudly. It would fucking kill him when Aaron did finally leave him. Maybe that’s what his punishment should be for falling for Aaron in the first place.

You fucking fell for a man you can never have. Fucking idiot!

Aaron was oblivious to the inner struggle going on within Lincoln and he sat down on the edge of the bed. He glanced at Lincoln over his shoulder. “Do you really feel broken?” Aaron hedged his question, as if he were afraid Lincoln would bite off his head again.

Lincoln swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah, I feel about as broken as one could possibly be.”

“I don’t see you like that at all,” Aaron answered.

Lincoln rested his head in his palm with the elbow set on his knee. “How can you say that?” Lincoln asked on a sigh. “You’re seeing me at my worst, seeing a side of me that no one else has ever seen.” Lincoln patted his chest. “This isn’t who I am. The guy I used to be died years ago when this fucking disease began eating my soul for dinner.”

Aaron was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “I’m not going to give you a flowery pep talk right now, because I found out early on you don’t respond well to that,” he said. “What I will say is, if you allow this disease to own you, it will.”

“You have no idea what this is like, Aaron,” Lincoln said in a whispered tone. “I just want my old life back before all this bullshit started, and it kills me that I won’t ever have that again.”

“You’re right. You can’t have that life again. But, what you can have could be just as good, if you allow yourself to have it,” Aaron said. “The power to have a great life is within you, Lincoln. But instead of fighting for that life, I see you giving up. I thought you were a stronger man than that.”

“I’m in pain all the time,” Lincoln blurted. “Day after day, the pain rolls through me at varying levels of intensity. Sometimes it feels like fire is burning my nerve endings. Other times it feels like I’m standing on crushed glass. I have no balance, my eyesight is fucked up, I have trouble feeling my fingers, and I can’t even fuck. The most basic of body functions and I can’t do it. How would all that make you feel, Aaron? Would you wake up every day excited to get out of bed? I fucking doubt it!” Aaron’s hand reached for Lincoln’s shin and squeezed. The touch momentarily distracted Lincoln, but he closed his eyes and regained his focus to speak again.

“The one moment that temporarily made me forget about all the pain was when . . . was when you kissed me,” Lincoln said. “And even that brief reprieve from the shit storm was taken away because you apologized for it, like it was something you regretted doing.”

“Lincoln . . .”

“Maybe you didn’t really want to kiss me or you felt forced to do it in order to keep my secret,” Lincoln continued. “If that’s the case, then I guess I owe you a big fat bonus in your next paycheck for hazard duty or some shit like that.”

“Lincoln! Stop talking,” Aaron interrupted. “I never said I didn’t want to kiss you, and I don’t believe I implied I regretted it, either. Don’t put words in my mouth and expect me to sit back and ignore it.”

“Oh my god, this is such a ridiculous conversation,” Lincoln yelled. “Leave my room so I can go back to sleep.”

Lincoln began to flop backward against the mattress, but Aaron grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt to stop his momentum. Another tug on Lincoln’s shirt brought him within a few inches of Aaron’s hot panting breaths. Before Lincoln could fully register what was happening, Aaron’s mouth was on his. The kiss was hungry, laced with anger and frustration, which quickly melted into a fiery passion Lincoln had never felt in his life. Aaron’s teeth nipped at his lips and his tongue plunged inside to claim him, over and over, until Lincoln was barely conscious. This kiss was nothing like their last one and when Aaron finally pulled back, Lincoln could barely draw in a breath. Never had a kiss left him breathless, but that’s exactly what Aaron had just done to him.

Breathless and . . . hard.

“Does that feel like I’m filled with regret?” Aaron drew in a long breath before taking Lincoln’s mouth again. Lincoln wrapped his arms around Aaron’s broad back and pulled him tighter. Aaron sucked on Lincoln’s tongue biting the tip, before pushing his own into Lincoln’s throat.

Aaron broke the kiss and pressed on Lincoln’s chest until he fell onto his back, then he slowly climbed onto the bed and straddled Lincoln’s thighs. Face to face, it was impossible to hide the mask of arousal on both of them. Aaron dropped his weight to his forearms beside Lincoln’s shoulders, essentially trapping Lincoln beneath him. Aaron lowered his mouth and licked at Lincoln’s bottom lip. His hips rocked forward against Lincoln’s groin and then his eyes grew wide.

“You’re hard,” Aaron’s breath hitched.

“Painfully,” Lincoln grinned.

Aaron canted his hips again and took another teasing kiss from Lincoln. “This could get complicated,” Aaron whispered.

“Why, because I’m your client?” Lincoln asked.

“Sort of,” Aaron said. “I work for myself, so I’m not breaking any company rules, but morally . . . I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Have you ever?” Lincoln questioned.

Aaron rubbed his erection against Lincoln’s again. “Once,” Aaron replied. “It was a long time ago and it didn’t end well.”

“Did you break his heart?” Lincoln attempted a grin but it fell flat. He didn’t want to talk about this now. He wanted more kisses, more grinding, and possibly a mind-blowing orgasm. Aaron’s ill-timed trip down memory lane could wait, couldn’t it?

“No, he broke mine,” Aaron answered and leaned forward to take another kiss from Lincoln.

“Fuck! You taste so good,” Lincoln moaned.

“Your erection feels like bliss,” Aaron teased.

“You have no idea,” Lincoln hissed and lifted his hips to match Aaron’s rhythm.

“Think you could come?” Aaron’s breathing was becoming strained and Lincoln wondered how close Aaron was to losing it himself.

“I don’t know.”

“Let’s give it a try,” Aaron said. He slid off to Lincoln’s side and rolled under the blankets and against Lincoln. Another kiss led to more and then Aaron’s lips inched across Lincoln’s whiskered jawline. Aaron’s fingers eased beneath Lincoln’s t-shirt. He pinched Lincoln’s sensitive nipples and slid lower over his stomach, then dropped lower still, to rub over the pulsing mound of Lincoln’s cock.

“Jesus, that’s impressive,” Aaron sighed. “Fully hard?”

“Pretty much,” Lincoln closed his eyes and tried to concentrate.
Just feel
, he kept telling himself.
Lose yourself in his touch and forget all the other bullshit.

Aaron’s lips were back on Lincoln’s mouth right as his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of Lincoln’s boxer briefs to circle his thick shaft. The pleasure was so intense it bordered on pain and Lincoln’s legs flexed.

“Okay?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” Lincoln was having difficulty thinking as Aaron’s fingers drifted lower to lightly squeeze his balls. Another groan rumbled from Lincoln’s throat.

“I want to make you lose it, Linc,” Aaron’s breathy voice feathered over the skin covering Lincoln’s Adam’s apple. The heated air from Aaron’s mouth raised goosebumps on Lincoln. Every word Aaron spoke drove Lincoln closer to insanity. “I want you to come so hard for me,” Aaron continued. “I want to feel you spill all over my hand.”

“Shiittttt,” Lincoln ground out.

Aaron’s hand inched up Lincoln’s shaft to the tip. His thumb slid over the crest of Lincoln’s ultra-sensitive head and Lincoln cried out again, but this time it wasn’t pleasure. “It hurts,” was all he said and just like that, his erection started to deflate in Aaron’s grip like a sad party balloon. Lincoln tried to push Aaron’s hand away and sit up, but Aaron held him in place on the mattress beside him.

“Don’t put those walls back up, Linc, not this time,” Aaron directed. “Look at me.”

“What’s the fucking point?” Lincoln seethed.

“The point is, we’re getting closer,” Aaron said.

Lincoln’s fingers pressed into his eye sockets. “I can’t keep doing this.”

“Tell me why.”

“Because it physically hurts and because every time I go limp, it strips away another layer of . . . me. Pretty soon there’ll be nothing left and I’m not sure I can handle that when it happens. My sanity is already hanging by a thread as it is.”

Aaron’s fingers fanned on Lincoln’s chest and the pads dug into the flesh. “Thank you for the honest answer.”

Lincoln exhaled loudly. He felt Aaron shift beside him and the thick rod inside Aaron’s jeans made contact with Lincoln’s hip. “You’re still hard,” Lincoln stated. “Do you want me to . . .”

“That’s not necessary at all,” Aaron replied and rubbed his hand over Lincoln’s chest.

A long moment of silence passed between them until Lincoln finally said, “I’m really fucking sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Aaron assured.

“Easy for you to say when you still have a boner,” Lincoln scoffed.

Aaron laughed at that, then lifted up onto an elbow to meet Lincoln’s gaze. “Was the sensation the same as the other times? Was it better? Worse? How would you describe it?”

“Is this Nurse Aaron asking right now?” Aaron’s smile lit up his face and Lincoln couldn’t help himself from returning the same expression.

“Yes, Nurse Aaron is back on duty,” Aaron said.

“Hmmmmm, does Nurse Aaron realize he’s lying in his patient’s bed with a big hard-on that his patient wants to eat?”

“I’m glad you like it,” Aaron teased. He pressed a soft kiss against Lincoln’s lips, then reached down into the front of his pants to adjust his cock before he rolled from the bed.

Lincoln watched Aaron stand and smooth his clothing back in to place. “You know I want you, right, and the limp dick has nothing to do with you?”

Aaron chuckled. He stepped closer to the bed and leaned over Lincoln to rest his hands on top of the mattress, then he bent forward to brush lips with Lincoln’s. The kiss was light but it didn’t make the impact Lincoln felt any less real. Aaron had a way of moving Lincoln without even trying, and it wasn’t always a physical reaction, since recently it seemed to be growing into an emotional reaction, as well. Damn, it was a wonderful awakening for Lincoln. He slipped his hand around the back of Aaron’s neck and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss.

Aaron groaned and pulled back. He stood up and took the hand Lincoln had wrapped around his neck and placed it palm-side down against the mound of arousal behind his zipper. “Your kiss tells me everything I need to know about what you want,” Aaron spoke softly. “And the bulge ready to split through my jeans should tell you how much I want you.”

Aaron kept Lincoln’s hand in place over his cock and Lincoln’s fingers caressed the hard length beneath his palm. His gaze lifted to meet Aaron’s and held. Lincoln watched Aaron’s expression float between lust and hunger, and into something else that looked serene and reverent. The power behind Aaron’s eyes was like smoldering ash that Lincoln ached to spark to life.

Aaron’s hips rocked into Lincoln’s hand. “I’m in no hurry to get there, Linc,” Aaron’s voice was laced with promise. “I’m certain we’ll get there . . . and we’re gonna get there together, when you can be in that moment with me. Okay?”

Lincoln closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. He understood exactly what Aaron was implying and the fact the man was willing to wait for him to be fully functional—even when there was no guarantee Lincoln would ever regain his ability to perform in bed, it said a lot about Aaron and Lincoln liked him even more because of it.

“I might never get there,” Lincoln reminded him.

“You’re underestimating yourself,” Aaron grinned. “What I was grinding against a little while ago tells me otherwise.”

“It could be too painful for me to follow through, then what?” Lincoln asked. “I don’t want to let you down.”

“Now you’re over thinking things.” Aaron winked. “Come on, I grilled chicken earlier while you were sleeping and you need to eat.”

“Any chance of a bloody burger instead of the chicken?” Lincoln smirked. He already knew the answer but it was so much fun to rile Aaron.

“Not a chance in hell.” Aaron shook his head but his smile warmed Lincoln to his core.