Big Easy Temptation (31 page)

Dangerous thoughts, but she was past caring.

His thumb found her clit and he started to rub in sweet circles. “I want you to come
for me. I’ve never been able to forget your flavor when you do.”

He pressed down as his tongue thrust deep inside her. Ecstasy spiked and bliss rolled
through Holland as she gave herself over to the orgasm. The tidal wave of pleasure
racked her body and shook her deeper, leaving her stripped before Dax and so very
vulnerable.

Even as she floated down from the high from her climax, Dax doffed his jeans and returned,
a condom in hand. She watched as he rolled the latex over his cock and climbed between
her thighs.

“I never feel more like a man than when I’m in bed with you.” He fitted his cock to
her opening and started to press inside. “Hell, I never feel more like me than when
I’m with you, sweetheart. Missed you so much.” He moved in, filling her in one long
thrust.

Holland clung to him and gasped, feeling so full. God, she’d been empty for too long.
Now she not only felt full . . . but complete.

She brought him closer because he was still too far away. “Kiss me. Please, Dax.”

“There’s nothing I love more than that.” He gave her his weight, his body pressed
to hers as she wrapped her legs around his lean waist.

She needed more of him. She plunged her fingers into his hair and drew him as close
as two people could possibly be. Mouths fused together, breasts to chest, his cock
deep inside her.

It didn’t matter that she’d just come. Holland felt the urge building again, the need
ratcheting up with every deep, rhythmic slide inside her until she clawed at him.
He kissed her as his hips worked, grinding and thrusting. She rocked with him, following
his every motion with ease.

Everything about this moment with him took her breath away. It was as if they’d never
ended the relationship and never stopped making love. In this, they were still one.

He grabbed her hips and captured her mouth again as he thrust up hard. Holland went
flying all over again, clinging to him and calling out his name. He lost control,
plunging inside her again and again until he finally stiffened and roared out his
own pleasure.

As they came down from the euphoric high in a tangle of breaths and sweat-dampened
limbs, he sighed in satisfaction against her skin. “I’ve needed that for three years.”

She held him close but said nothing because she was fairly certain she’d need him
for the rest of her life.

Despite the pleasure still humming through her, she was afraid.

*   *   *

D
ax woke up with a smile on his face.

Was there anything a night of amazing lovemaking couldn’t cure? He was fairly certain
there wasn’t. He hadn’t merely had sex with Holland or simply fucked her. They’d made
love—three times, in fact, before she’d fallen into an exhausted sleep.

He turned on his side, careful not to wake her. She was deep in slumber, her body
nestled against him. He wondered if she knew how much she resembled a soft little
kitten when she slept.

Here, when she was most vulnerable, she trusted him. What would it take for him to
win that trust back all the time?

“Are you watching me sleep?” she murmured with her eyes closed.

He couldn’t help but smile. They were in the middle of a damn murder investigation,
trying to unravel a conspiracy that might reach all the way to the White House, but
he was grinning like a loon. “Yes.”

“Weirdo.”

Maybe, but he was her weirdo.

Dax sighed. They could stay in bed longer. Whatever was going on in the outside world
could wait another thirty minutes. Besides, Connor would knock if something really
craptastic had happened. Hell, Connor was probably finding delicious ways to wake
up his own wife.

Wife
. He meant to marry Holland, and they would do it right. No more quickie-Vegas shit.
He and Holland would have a real wedding. He would wear his dress whites and she would
find some gorgeous bridal gown. Gus would likely be the maid of honor and sleep with
every groomsman she could.

“What are you laughing about?” She stared at him suspiciously with one eye open.

He sighed and settled against her, kissing her shoulder. “I was just thinking that
Gus is going to be an interesting maid of honor.”

Holland went still beside him. “Maid of honor? Who’s getting married?”

Damn it. Would he ever get this right with her? He rolled over, his head propped on
his hand. “Us.”

“Us?” She sat up, tugging the covers around her body.

Which left him naked. Luckily, he didn’t mind and it wasn’t exactly chilly. He’d been
warm lounging against her, and his cock was already straining. “Eventually. Sorry,
I know that wasn’t exactly romantic, so forget I said anything. Come back to bed.”

“You’re thinking about marriage.”

“Of course I am, Holland. I never stopped wanting to marry you.
That can’t be a secret, so what’s wrong? Like I said, I know I’m not very romantic,
but you don’t want me to do the whole crazy dancing thing in the middle of the Quarter.”

She stiffened, then stood and turned to him. “I never asked for marriage, Spencer.”

Shit. They were back to Spencer. “I think asking is traditionally the man’s role.”

“I never asked you to ask me.” She flushed, her skin going a lovely shade of pink
as she glanced down at his erection. “Can’t you do something about that?”

He grinned. “I certainly can if you’ll come back to bed.”

“Be serious for a minute, Dax. You just talked about marriage. I thought I made myself
clear last night.”

He didn’t like the way this conversation was going. He sat up, trying to ignore his
still-hard cock. “Yes, we were clearly together. Last night meant everything to me.
It was a promise between lovers.”

“It was inevitable because we are really good in bed together. We’ve always had combustible
chemistry, but I’m not ready to marry you for it.”

His first impulse was to lash out at her for rejecting him. The pain felt too familiar.
Was this her form of revenge against him for marrying Courtney? She’d been the one
to break faith with him, shove him aside. She hadn’t trusted him.

Why was she making him into the bad guy?

He jumped to his feet and grabbed his pants, beyond ready to have it out with her.
After last night, after all they’d been through, she thought she could dismiss him?

Then he looked at her—
really
looked at her. She stood there so proud and tall, chin lifted, shoulders straight.
If he simply took her at face value, she seemed cold. But he knew better.

He’d once made the mistake of hearing her words but not really listening to her. It
had cost them three years.

He refused to make the same mistake again.

“Coward.”

She frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not afraid of you. I’m simply not interested
in a long-term thing. Not with you. Not with anyone.”

He was going to have to be patient with her, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going
to call her out. If he let her, she would hide forever. He didn’t have that long.
“Anyone? Sweetheart, this is about us. It’s all about me and how I hurt you. I could
go into the ways you hurt me, too, but that would be counterproductive.”

“No, please tell me all the ways I hurt you.”

He didn’t bother with his pants. He wouldn’t need them. This wasn’t going to end the
way she thought it would. He had zero intention of giving up. “You left me. Being
apart from you hurt me deeply.”

“Forgive me if I doubt that. You were married twenty-four hours later.” She clutched
the sheet like a shield. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Oh, it matters.” He stalked toward her. “A great deal. To both of us.”

She took a step back, her eyes taking on a wary cast, as though she realized he intended
to meet this problem head-on and demolish this barrier between them.

He stalked closer, need and instinct thrumming through his blood. Oh, he was about
to teach her that he wouldn’t fight fair. This was the most important battle of his
life and he had no problem playing dirty.

“What are you doing, Dax?”

“What I should have done that day. I should have listened to my gut, Holland. You
stood there and explained all the ways you’d betrayed me. Do you know what my instincts
said to do?”

She stepped back again and gripped the sheet she’d wrapped around herself. Her response
came out in a sweet, breathy gasp. “No. I don’t.”

She could stand tall all she liked. The truth was in her tone. Slightly breathless.
Trembling. And her eyes. The windows to her soul looked open and vulnerable.

“My every instinct told me to get you into bed. You can’t lie to me in bed.”

“I’m not lying to you.” She edged back again and she hit the door. Now he had her
cornered. She had nowhere left to run. “I’m not ready to think about a future with
you. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

The words hurt, but he knew where they were coming from. He had to view this through
her eyes, because his point of view wasn’t the only one.

A realization struck him with a forcible whack upside the head. If he intended to
love Holland, really love her the way she deserved to be loved, he had to bend and
compromise. Gabe and Connor had already been through this. They’d learned to force
their own needs and fears aside to deal with their women.

In the past, he would have stormed out of the room, hurt and aching and in search
of a bottle. Now he simply eased closer to her because distance between them didn’t
solve anything. He didn’t leave her any space, simply pressed his body against hers
until the only thing separating them was that silly sheet she thought was protecting
her.

She would never need protecting from him but Dax understood why she thought she did.
He’d savaged her before. He’d taken everything meaningful and tossed it aside. She’d
had a hand in it, too, but he’d committed the real crime.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he vowed, sliding his hand along the nape of
her neck. “Not ever again, so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m going to be
here today and tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that. The future is going to take
care of itself. And I’m going to take care of you.”

“It won’t work. I’ve always known it can’t.” Tears sheened her eyes when she shook
her head. “I wish it could.”

He pulled her close, offering her the comfort of his body. “Then we’ll live in the
moment. If it doesn’t work, we’ll have had this time together.”

“You don’t mean that,” she accused, but she let go of the sheet and
wrapped her arms around his waist. “You’re telling me what you think I want to hear.”

He chuckled because she really did know him. “I am indeed. I’m telling you that because
you’re scared, but I know that I’m going to love you forever. I’m never going to leave
again.”

She lifted her chin. Light slanted in, illuminating the sadness in her eyes. “But
I will. Do you remember that day? Joy’s wedding. You said if I could kiss you and
still walk away, you would let me go. I’m going to walk away at the end of this, Dax.
I can’t do this with you again. I know you think you can promise me the world, but
I don’t trust anything anymore.”

Then he would make her believe. But now there was no point in arguing—at least not
with his words.

He kissed her. “If all we have is the next few days or weeks, I’m not going to waste
them.”

He cupped her breast, his cock lengthening against the soft curve of her belly. She
sighed, her head falling forward onto his shoulder.

“I won’t fight you. As long as we’re working together, I’ll be in your bed. I don’t
want to fight about that. But I will walk away. I don’t want to hurt you, but when
this is over so are we.”

He would see about that. He had days to convince her and he knew one surefire way
how.

He took her mouth in a long, luxurious kiss. He would never let her go. When this
mission was over, he would still be by her side. She would want him there. He would
make sure of it.

“I made that deal with you a long time ago,” he whispered against her lips. “I was
a different man then. You should know I’ll fight dirty this time. I’ll fight for us,
Holland.”

He picked her up and carried her back to bed.

“There’s no fighting,” she said as he laid her down. “I told you, I’ll be your lover
while this lasts.”

She was so stubborn and she would try to hold out until the very end. Dax intended
to make that utterly impossible.

“Then I think I should get my way, don’t you? If I’ve got so little
time, I should definitely have you any way I want you. Get on your hands and knees,
sweetheart.” He moved to the bedside table where he’d tucked the condoms in the drawer.

“What are you doing?” Hesitation halted her voice, but she obediently turned over
and rose to her hands and knees, leaving that glorious backside in the air.

So fucking pretty. He ran a hand over her cheeks and down to her pussy. She was already
warm and wet for him. He tested her, sliding a single finger through her labia. “I’m
going to make you scream for me. Look at that. You’re already ripe and ready.”

“How do you do this to me?” She bowed her head, blond hair brushing the mattress,
in a sign of surrender.

“The same way you do it to me. Do you honestly believe I walk around with an erection
all the time? Not even when I was a kid.” He found her clitoris with lazy fingers
and circled it, watching the way she arched and squirmed. “Only one woman can get
me hard and ready just by walking in a room. The right woman. You.”

Holland moved her hips in time with his rhythm, mewling like a pretty little cat in
heat. “It feels so good. I know I shouldn’t give in, but I can’t help it.”

And that was exactly what she was afraid of. She wasn’t in control with him. He had
to teach her that was all right. He wasn’t in control with her, either, but she was
a safe place. They didn’t need control with each other. They needed to let go and
simply be.