Black Flag (Racing on the Edge) (30 page)

“How’s the car?” Kyle
asked when the caution came out on lap three twenty nine.

“Sporty.” I replied
keeping focus.

“Huh?”

“Sporty.”

Kyle laughed as did
Aiden. “Do you want to make any changes?”

“No!” I barked. “Don’t
touch a goddamn thing.”

The car really was
perfect. I could drive in hard and pass high or low.

“How’s your brake’s?”

“Good, fans are on.
They’re soft but I think they’ll be fine.”

On lap three eighty
four, I passed Bobby for the lead.

“All clear, go like
hell. This is your race to win.” Aiden praised when I got around Bobby on the
outside.

“You completed lap
three-eighty seven with a 1.3 second lead there, keep focused. Clear by ten in
front.”

I was focused because
the next thing I heard was: “Coming to the white flag next time by,”

My heartbeat thudded
loudly in my ears making it almost impossible to hear anything else, until Kyle
came back with.

“NICE JOB!” Kyle yelled
when I crossed the finish line. “Way to bounce back. You drove your ass off out
there tonight.”

That was the fucking
truth. I was exhausted.

The moment I took the
checkered flag, I was relieved but I couldn’t say anything over the radio. The
pressure I put upon myself, my team, and my family was rewarded at times like
this. All the hard work, all the late nights and early mornings, all the times
away from Sway, all those personal sacrifices were veiled by the fact that I
could come out here after an injury and still win. I could come back from a lap
down and still win. I could drown out everything around me and win, for this
team, for us.

“Thanks guys, I
couldn’t have done it without you.” I choked out. I wanted them to know how
much I appreciated them, even though I didn’t exactly show them all the time.

“I’m so proud of you!”
Sway screamed into the radio. It was rare for her to talk to me through the
radio as we kept it strictly professional between the teams but she must have
ripped Kyle’s headset away.

“Thank you honey,”

I pulled down on the
apron of the finish line, grabbed the checkered flag from the official and did
my burn out, waving the flag around. There’s one thing I loved more than
winning and that was winning under the lights of a night race. It always
brought me back to the days racing at Elma when I was a kid and only raced
under the lights.

When I was finished my
burnout, I got out of the car and climbed the fence giving those devoted fans a
piece of the action. The swarm that gathered screamed and hollered, so I threw
the flag into the crowd for them. They roared to life.

It was such an intense
feeling being near all the fans after you won. These were the people who made
this worth it. They believed in me just as much as my family did.

Eventually I made my
way toward victory lane for the fifth time this season.

This win felt
different. I proved to myself and everyone else out there that I could do it. I
could come back from a Pocono and still be competitive. I could come back from
being a lap down and win. Above all else, I was now in position to snag that
championship and prove to Darrin I wasn’t the kid he pegged me to be. Just
because my dad funded the team didn’t mean I couldn’t win.

The drive down pit road
toward victory lane was slow as all my fellow drivers congratulated me on the
win. They understood because they felt the same way. I showed I could do it
tonight and nothing could stop me.

Every track had victory
lane located in a different location. Usually it wasn’t hard to find, you just
followed the crowd more or less. It was fenced in, authorized personnel only
and fairly well landscaped for the television.

Once in victory lane,
my family had already gathered and was patiently waiting for me. It took me a
while to get out of my car, mainly because I didn’t want the entire world
seeing me so emotional. When I’d choked back my emotions, I pulled myself from
the car beating my fists on the roof, provoking my team into
a
frenzy
. I laughed as they sprung to life shaking
Pepsi
, champagne
and whatever else they had over us.

Spencer and Mason were
the first to my car, followed by Kyle and my dad.

Sway and the rest of my
family lingered in the shadows letting the boys rough me up with their rowdy
hugs and loud raucous remarks. The media was in my face the next second asking
me how it felt to get my fifth win on a night when we really needed it.

“My Simplex Ford was
awesome all night. The penalty really put us back but Kyle kept me focused and
we managed to pull it off despite the bad call.”

That provoked him.

“So you feel the
penalty wasn’t justified.”

“No, I don’t.” I shook
my head wiping my face with a towel Alley had tossed my direction in the
commotion. “I’ve been called for speeding eight times this year and not once
was I pulling away from any other cars on pit road. Kind of makes you think
it’s not me, doesn’t it?”

Of course he didn’t
have a response and directed the conversation away from NASCAR.

Spencer interrupted
spraying me, and the reporter, with champagne. “We saw you gave the flag to the
fans out there.” He hedged wiping the champagne off the microphone.

My face and upper body
were completely soaked now.

“I think I actually hit
somebody with the checkered flag. Somebody got it though, they deserve it.
Without the fans this sport wouldn’t be what it is.”

I was trying my hardest
to get away from the reporter, I just wanted to celebrate with my family but
this is part of the game I guess. Sacrifices, right?

With everything that
happened this weekend, I didn’t know when the right moment would be to propose
to Sway. My many attempts this week ended in complete disaster. But in that
moment with the cheering and adulation of the screaming fans, champagne
spraying, the smells of burnt rubber, racing fuel, loutish calls of my
teammates and excitement swirling around through the air, I realized the moment
was perfect, for us.

I had imagined proposing
to
Sway
some place romantic, on the beach or
surrounded by candles. A place, a moment, where I confessed my undying love for
her, but that wasn’t us. Being at a race track, that was us. I’d been holding
on to the fantasy that I could create the perfect proposal for the perfect
woman. I failed to realize, that wasn’t us.

My eyes focused on
hers, warm emeralds gazing back at me with adoration, devotion, worship, love
...
I saw it all in that one glance. I
watched her for a moment, her face flushed from the excitement of being in
victory lane. Dancing around with my family, she was breathtaking. The camera
flashes illuminated her skin in the summer night surrounding us. Covered in
beer, sweat, champagne, I knew this was perfect because it balanced out everything
we were when everything else was loose.

In that moment, I
didn’t care that the whole world was watching. I didn’t care that people
surrounded us.

Sway noticed me leaning
against the hood of my car, a familiar stance, watching her. She made her way through
the crowd toward me, our eyes locked. When she finally reached me she stopped,
smiled, and wrapped her arms around my neck, her delicate body molding to mine
as it always did.

Slowly I reached up to
take her face gently in my hands, kissing her softly. She didn’t hesitate to
throw herself into the kiss, it didn’t matter to her that we were surrounded by
people or that the entire world was watching.

I continued to kiss her
for a moment and then pulled away with a chuckle. Suddenly I was nervous. Drawing
in a deep ragged breath that probably sounded ridiculous, Sway glanced up at
me, concern flashing over her features when she noticed my breathing had
increased.

One of the first things
we learn as a kid is how to communicate with others through speaking. This is
ironic because as we get older we tend to have difficulty coming up with words
to effectively tell someone how we really feel.

Sure, you can chalk up
this difference between children and adults to a greater consciousness of
social graces, or fear of rejection, but really, there is no excuse.
Ultimately, adults must learn to rely on, and appreciate, a different method.

Words are not
everything. It is what you
do
that matters.

Kids throw tantrums
when they don’t get what they want. Hell, I’ve resorted to that tactic too. I’m
not saying that this is the best way to go about things. What I’m saying is
that, sometimes, actions are needed in order to get you noticed. To get you
true feelings heard, the words that fluttered around in my head like a knocking
engine, eluding diagnosed, always ended up expressed most effectively through
my actions.

“Sway,” I breathed
against her lips before looking into eyes that reflected all the love I had for
her. “I’ve
...
been in love with you
for longer than I can remember.” She smiled nervously fumbling with the collar
of my suit. “Now I know I’ve made some mistakes, but I will never hurt you like
that again.” My head tipped, her gaze followed.

She looked at me
confused as to where I was going with this in the middle of victory lane,
on
national television
.

I smiled back.

Surrounded by our
family and friends, teammates and fans, I’d never seen our future as clear as I
did right then. I knew what I wanted and what I wanted to say.

Finally taking her left
hand in my trembling one, I
slowly
dropped down on one knee in front of
her while she sat on the hood of my race car.

Sway gasped loudly, her
eyes rimmed with tears and put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my—”

She knew.

I shook my head,
interrupting her, struggling with my own emotions. “Just
...
let me do this,
please
.”

“No, Jameson
...
this is for you.” She tried tugging on
my arm. “This is
your
time to celebrate, don’t
...
”

I grinned shaking my
head. “Don’t you see
...
It’s not though,
honey.
It’s always been me and you since we were eleven.
Without you, none of this would be possible. You were there for me when my
career began and I have no doubt you’ll be there when it ends. So this
...
” I motioned to victory lane. “
is
about you and me.”

Pounding heart, shaking
hands and well, my breathing was a little ragged too but I managed to reach
inside my racing suit and pull her grandmothers ring out.

Her eyes dropped to my
hand, widening when she took in the ring.

Sway nodded, almost
frantically for me to continue. By then, I noticed the party going on around us
halted and every eye in victory lane was now focused Sway and I. Here we were,
surrounded by the world but I only saw her.

Slowly I opened the
black velvet box, revealing the ring, earning me yet another gasp and great
deal of tears from Sway.

“Sway Marie Reins
...
” I was embarrassed to say my voice
cracked. “I promise to love you every moment of forever
...
will you marry me?”

Her eyes that were glued
to the ring slowly met mine. She stared at me long and hard, not immediately
answering. I tried to be patient, but not knowing what she was thinking or if
she would say yes was driving me mad.

But she surprised me,
as she often does by whispering an emotional, “Yes.” tears streaming down her
cheeks.

I smiled widely; kissed
her hand I was holding and then slipped the ring on her finger.

It was no longer just
Sway
and me in that moment once she said yes. It was the
entire fucking world. Both our families were in our faces, the media was there,
fans were screaming that they just witnessed
the proposal
in person
...
it was a shit storm but I didn’t regret
it, or at least I didn’t in that moment.

Even with the swarm of
people screaming around us, Sway reached for me as I reached for her. In that
moment, we let the world slip away once again and enjoyed the peace within our
tiny bubble of perfection.

Balance – Sway

Some say a fairytale is
only scripted in a child’s book or the movies. Never believing, never seeing,
they also think such happiness will never happen to them. I believe in making
the fairytale, deciding for yourself when, how, and with who. You see, I
believe in the fairytale but I also believe in such a thing as happy right now.
Maybe the complete fairytale was still being written.