Blackness Within (35 page)

Natasha

In the dim lights of the nightclub, I settle next to Roman on a plush two-seater heather couch. My simple black dress clings to every plane and curve of my body with an open back, plunging neckline and mid-thigh hem. I’m barely covered and drawing a lot of attention from the men and women in Bar. Roman seems pleased that eyes are lingering on me. I’ll never understand that from him.

Most men like Roman would want me covered head to toe and hidden away from curious, lustful eyes. It’s as though he enjoys the attention I receive. It makes me uncomfortable…vulnerable.

“Congratulations,” an older man with a gravelly voice and a scar running from his eye to his upper lip says to Roman while extending his hand.

“Thank you, Mister Rossi. Let me introduce you to my fiancée. Natasha this is Butch Rossi,” Roman says politely as Butch cradles my hand with a gentler grasp than I thought he would be capable of. Why is he here? My pulse is in my throat as I consider why he’s here. My eyes dart side to side, but I don’t see any other familiar faces.

I’m not worth the hassle.

Butch was in this life once before. I guess he’s come back to it. I want to scream at him that his daughter and Shannon are worth more than this life. But I don’t know him and I don’t want Roman to know there’s any connection between us, however small it may be.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I say through a kind smile.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he replies with a wink.

“I wish you the best in life,” Butch whispers into my ear before pulling back and walking into the crowd that’s here to celebrate my engagement.

“Mister Rossi seems quite taken with my future bride,” Roman murmurs, shooting me a proud look.

“He was just being polite,” I dismiss lightly.

Roman lifts the corner of his mouth before entangling his fingers with mine and pulling our hands into his lap. I give him a brief squeeze as I take in our surroundings.

I’ve been to Bar before with my old work friends. It’s a warehouse that was turned into a nightclub in Kansas City’s Power and Light District. With the main floor housing a massive dance area surrounded by tables and bars, it’s quite the sight to take in from the second floor VIP area we’re in. I’ve never been up here before. It’s separated from the noise of the house music with glass blocking off areas around the balcony. Our party is in the far corner giving us the privacy Roman requires.

I was stunned when Roman told me this is where we were having our engagement party. I assumed we’d be at the warehouse or Carmine’s. I didn’t think Roman spent any time where the normal world socializes. I still don’t know much about his criminal world. I’m sheltered away in Roman’s suite most of the time. I prefer it that way. When Roman works, it’s from his office in the suite or a few rooms in the warehouse. I’m never far from him, yet I feel completely separate. It’s not much of an existence other than caring for Ivan, which I’m immensely thankful for at this juncture. Once I get pregnant, I’ll have even more purpose in life. Maybe then I won’t feel half-full any more.

“I need to use the restroom,” I say quietly in Roman’s ear.

He nods and stands up with me. I arrange my dress as best I can once on my feet and head to the ladies room. Igor follows me closely as he always does. I’m never without his towering shadow. The strange thing is I feel pulled toward the dance floor as I make my way along the balcony. I pause for a moment and take in the mass of people undulating like stormy seas below me. Igor waits a few steps from me. I wish I could feel as carefree as the women in here, twirling and beaming.

I pivot and head into the bathroom, alone at last. There’s a short hallway followed by a left turn, ending at the stainless steel shiny ladies room. Business done, hands washed, I study my face in the mirror. The low lights make the dark circles under my eyes more prominent. My once shiny hair looks dull and lifeless swept up high in a ponytail. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight since being with Roman. My curves are less abundant and my cheeks less full. I look as hollow as I feel. The blackness within me is spreading. I shudder at the realization and then push it back. This is my life, hollow and empty, but it’s my life. I decided to do this and I can’t continue to wither much longer.

I move past the vanity and am stunned when I’m forcefully pushed back into the corner. I clutch at the jacket in front of me as its owner’s arms wrap around my waist to steady me.

“I’ve got you,” his thick caramel voice whispers and my knees go weak.

My head snaps up and I’m met with a warm chocolate gaze.

Sully.

“Blake’s downstairs waiting and there’s a car outside. I’m takin’ you home, Grey,” Sully says quickly and quietly.

I cling to his jacket and try to make sense of what’s happening right now.
You’re not worth the hassle
. That’s all I hear in my head as I force myself into reality.

“What are you doin’ here? I told Blake that I was done with him and I made sure you and your friends were safe. I can’t protect you now. You need to leave, Sully,” I instruct while I drop my hands from his warm chest and back out of his firm grasp.

Sully’s face darkens and his brows knit together.

“You’re not thinkin’ clearly. I’m here to take you home. We need to move now,” he insists, tugging on my wrist.

I pull away from him and lift my chin defiantly. I’m resigned to this life, this future. But damn it, I’ve fought for my brother and Sully to be safe. If I have any spark of fight left in me, it’s now. I refuse to let them get hurt after everything.

“I’m where I want to be,” I state plainly.

“Bull-fuckin’-shit you are!” he growls, leaning in my face. “Vojtech’s got you all fucked in the head. I get that you’re doin’ what you think you should right now, but I’m not leavin’ you with him another minute. Come the fuck on, or I’ll carry your ass outta here.”

“I’m marrying Roman,” I retort, flashing my left hand in front of his glowering face.

A cocky Cheshire grin sweeps across his lips. Sully grabs my hand and gently tugs on the ring until it slides off my finger. He inspects it for a few breaths before heaving it in the sink behind us.

“Over my dead body, Grey,” he mumbles, moving further into my personal space.

“It will be your dead body when Roman comes in here. Leave, Sully. I can’t save you again. I don’t have anything else to give Roman. Please just go and get my brother outta here. You said I wasn’t worth the hassle before and the same is true now. Go!”

He steps back like I just smacked him across the face, staring at me like I’ve grown a second head.

“I said what?” he asks aghast.

“You told Roman I wasn’t worth the hassle before he fought you,” I seethe, remembering how much that wrecked me.

“I’ve never said a fuckin’ thing about you bein’ a hassle to that piece of shit! I told him I’d come for you and then I beat his motherfuckin’ ass. I’ve spent months since your accident tryin’ to get you back. You’re the only goddamn thing I think about. You really believed I just let you go?”

I shrug and try to wrap my head around everything he’s saying.

“We don’t have time for this, Grey. I need to get you out now. Are you comin’ willingly or am I carrying you?”

“Natasha?” Igor’s voice calls from down the hall.

Sully sweeps me further into the corner and smashes his mouth on mine. I’m stunned until I’m not. I open my mouth and welcome his tongue happily. His hands are up my skirt kneading my bare ass as he devours me with his mouth. I yank at his hair and press my body into his as Igor stalks in the room. Slowly, Sully releases my mouth, looking over his shoulder. He waits a moment longer before turning his back on me.

“Natasha?” Igor calls again and then Sully attacks.

His fist slices out, viciously landing a blow to the side of Igor’s head. The mountainous man hits the floor with a decided thud. Sully hovers over him for a moment before spinning back to me.

“Now, Grey!” he barks and I obey.

I hold out my hand and he yanks me to him.

“Stay in front of me,” he murmurs in my ear and I nod.

My heart is pounding as I begin to tremble. If Roman finds us trying to escape, we’ll both die torturous deaths. But this is my only chance. I have to take it. I’m going to take it.

Sully shuffles us from the bathroom out onto the balcony. He turns us left, keeping my body shielded by his as we move in the opposite direction of Roman and the party. I see one of Roman’s guards and begin to panic until Sully sweeps us into a dark emergency stairway.

I hurry down the metal stairs and leap into my brother’s waiting arms the moment I see him at the bottom.

“Tosh,” he breathes out relieved.

I clench onto his now full and muscular broad shoulders and begin to weep.

“I’m so sorry,” I whimper into his neck.

“I’m sorry. I love you so fuckin’ much, Tosh. Let’s get you the fuck outta here.”

I nod into his skin but make no move to let go of him. He recognizes my struggle and sweeps my body to his chest with ease. My brother’s back and he came to rescue me. I hold onto his thick neck tightly as he pushes through a door, leading us to an alley.

Blake settles me in the backseat of a waiting town car as shots ring out. I scream and cower into the seat as the door slams shut. The car speeds away without Sully or Blake as I shout at the top of my lungs, “NO!”

“Natasha, my name’s Rodger. I promised to get you to safety. Brian and Blake will be fine on their own,” the kind-eyed white-haired, Rodger informs me.

I believe him. More shots sound from in front of the car and Rodger jerks the wheel wildly. He tries to regain control, but we smash into a dumpster.

Rodger scrambles out of the driver’s side door and then pulls open mine. I crawl from the car and he yanks me down to the ground, using the car and the dumpster for cover. We’re trapped. It’s only a matter of moments before Roman and his men get us. At least I got to hold my brother one last time before we die. I got to feel Sully’s mouth, hear his voice and feel his comforting embrace.

In the end, the blackness doesn’t win. I was able to have a brief glimpse of the light.

O’Sullivan

Bullets are flying all around Blake and I as Rodger peels down the alley with Natasha in the backseat.

We hover against the door, hiding from the shooter on the balcony above us, until shots fire from the direction of the car. The tires squeal before a loud crash sounds, metal scraping.

“Shit!” Blake shouts.

I knew I should have brought a gun with me. I’m not a great shot, but I could try to get us out of this. I fucked up in the bathroom. I should have moved Natasha and then talked shit through. I was so stunned, confused and too out of my mind to make the fast decision.

Two sets of footsteps thud down the metal stairs above our heads. I wait for my moment and leap. I catch the first guy off guard and wrestle with his gun while Blake does the same with bad guy number two. The car is diagonal across the alley, blocking the other shooters. It won’t take much for them to get around it.

I struggle and thrash from side to side, staying clear of the barrel of the gun. I’m on my back while the shooter lays on top of me attempting to blow my brains out. He squeezes the trigger twice near my head, deafening me in one ear. I fight harder. I get an arm free and drive an elbow into his nose. It snaps his head to the side and loosens his grip on his piece. I wrench it from him while climbing to my feet as he strikes out with his leg, tripping me. I land on my chest, dropping the weapon.

I flip to my back and kick him in the junk as he lunges at me. He collapses to his knees before reaching to his belt for a large knife. Two shots are fired and the man intent on stopping me halts his progression, staring down at the hole in his chest. He looks back up at me before falling to his face.

I scramble to my feet to find Blake on his and the guy he was fighting clutching at his shoulder on the ground.

“Get down!” her voice instructs loudly from the dark alley shadowing her before three shots go whizzing past us.

I fall against the brick building, slightly disoriented from the sharp ringing in my ear. I move just in time to see three men climbing over the town car, each being hit before their feet touch the ground.

Quickly, Cara runs from her end of the alley, scanning for other shooters. She looks exactly like Kid. Her long auburn hair is pulled on top of her head. She’s wearing the same navy hoodie she’s been wearing since she got it the day she was rescued over two and a half years ago. It’s faded and tattered now, but she won’t let it go. Her legs are sporting jeans and running shoes. She’s ready for battle.

“I told you,” she grinds out when she reaches me, her eyes still scanning. “You need me.”

“Let’s go,” I snarl. I won’t agree with her. I can’t.

Blake and I sprint to the car while Cara stands at the ready for another threat. It’s coming any second.

I reach the car before Blake and pull the backseat door shut that’s shielding Rodger and Natasha. She’s cradled against him as they huddle against the dumpster they crashed into.

“I’ve got you,” I assure her as I pull her trembling frame into my arms.