Blessed Fate (2 page)

"What would you say if I told you we had a surprise in store for you folks tonight?" Jon yelled into his mic. The near-capacity crowd went wild in response to his question. "Well, you're in luck because we've got one hell of a big one!"

I followed Jon's eyes to see that he was preparing to put Rain on the spot. When Jon crooked a finger in her direction, she shook her head violently. My eyes bounced from him to her and back again. There was about to be a battle of wills and I wasn't sure who would come out on top. I jumped off the stage, hoping to convince her that she finally needed to take her place behind the mic.

"Come on, you're ready for this," I assured her. Hell, she was probably more ready to be on stage than we were, to tell the truth.

"I can't. They came here to listen to you guys, not to some girl with a fucked up dream of being a rock star." She rocked on her heels, staring at the ground. In the short time I had known her, I knew that was a sign she doubted her abilities. For as much as she talked about wanting it, there was something holding her back from making her dreams come true.

I brushed her ruby red curls away from her face and looked deep into her eyes. "You have the fire. I've seen it. And I think you're the only one who's not ready to see that
you are
one of us." Jon's patience was starting to wear thin with her hesitation to jump in and take the mic. I wasn't sure I would be able to get him to keep waiting now that he had called her out publicly. I also knew it would be the biggest mistake any of us could make not to have her as our lead singer.

"One song. You get up there and do
Black Velvet
. If you don't like it, you can come back here and nurse your Cherry Pepsi. Deal?" I reached my hand to her, pulling her close for a reassuring hug. "They're gonna love you as much as we do," I whispered into her ear.

I tried to ignore the combination of vanilla and jasmine filling my nose as I nuzzled my head into her hair. I tried to deny the fact that she fit perfectly under the crook of my arm, our bodies melding together. We seemed made for one another. Even though I'd definitely thought about all the things I wanted to do to this girl, I knew it was neither the time nor the place for those thoughts.

"Fine," she conceded. "One song. Just don't fuck it up." She shot me a wry smile as she walked away and I wondered if there would ever be a day when she would let her walls down enough to let me in. For now, I would wait for those confident, sarcastic moments to roll around and pray I could find the right thing to say when her insecurity was in full force.

As expected, the crowd went ballistic within the first ten words of her first song. I think the fact that she is so petite added to the fascination our fans had with her because it was such a stark contrast to her commanding, sultry voice. Finished with the first song, she attempted to leave the stage but Travis held her tight while Jon officially introduced her to the Saturday night crowd at Wilson's. Knowing her name after that, the crowd chanted for her to get back in front of the mic. We threw out the rest of our normal set list for the night, jamming like we did in Travis' apartment instead.

That was the night Rain became the lead singer for Blessed Tragedy. While I couldn't be certain, I would like to say the push I gave her was the one she needed to realize her potential and start living her dreams. The insecure girl started to fade into the background and we got to see fiery Rain the majority of the time.

Tight-lipped, she and Travis never talked about how they met until one night when we were all drinking. I had noticed that Rain never drank more than one beer, and most nights it was left on the makeshift cinder block and lumber coffee table half full or more. With the help of Jack Daniels, I finally asked her about it.

"What's up with you not drinking?" I slurred. Her eyes darted to Travis and then off into the distance.

"Maybe I'm just not a big drinker," she said, her emerald green eyes meeting mine for a moment before she looked away again.

Had I been sober, that would have been a suitable answer. Unfortunately, for me, I was about three hours on the wrong side of sober. "Bullshit. If you weren't a drinker, you wouldn't take the beer when offered, but you do. What's your deal?"

"Dude, do you know when to shut the fuck up?" Travis cut me off before I could continue making an ass out of myself. He seemed more upset by the question than he should have been which only served to pique my alcohol-fueled curiosity.
Why does it matter to him if I ask her about her goody two-shoes stance on alcohol?

I lifted my hands in surrender. "My bad, didn't realize it was such a touchy subject." I grabbed the bottle of Jack out of Jon's hands and took a long drink. "Forget I fucking said anything."

"No, it's fine," Rain said quietly, still unwilling to make eye contact. Whatever her reason, it was obviously something that caused her pain. I might have been drunk, but there was no mistaking that reaction.

Travis, who was as drunk as I was, if not more so, stood from the bar stool at the kitchen island. "No, Rain. It's not okay. He had no fucking right to try to make you feel bad about not drinking. Fuck, I'm a dick for having the free-flow going when you're over here to begin with." I looked at Trav trying to figure out what in the hell he was talking about. "Colt, you need to just let it go."

Fine by me, I thought that's what I already said I was going to do. Damn, now I really want to know. Thanks, Trav.

Rain curled her slender legs under her so she was a compact little ball at the end of the couch. "No, it's cool," she said to Trav. She took a deep breath and her shoulders slumped forward. "You might as well know I'm a recovering addict. I preferred coke to alcohol any day of the week, but I try to be careful about too much of anything. I'm supposed to be finding ways to deal with my shit that don't involve altering my state of consciousness. Or some bullshit like that." Knowing this was a serious moment for her, I pursed my lips to stifle the laugh trying to sneak out when she rolled her eyes at the last part of her statement.

I reached out to her, grateful that she had shared that part of herself with us. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened in her past that she couldn't see we would all be here to help her every damned day if she'd let us. Her fingers felt tiny in my hands and I could feel the calluses from years of playing guitar scraping across her smooth skin.

"Hey, I really am sorry I pushed. I can be an ass when I'm drunk. And tonight...I'm way drunk." She laughed at my observation and I had hope that I hadn't totally fucked things up with her.

I'm not sure why I was so worried about that, but I was. From the moment I saw her walk in wearing a ribbed tank top and skater pants, looking like a runaway teen, I had wanted to get closer to her. When I was younger, my mom called me a "fixer". I always found the broken kids, befriended them and then tried to fix their problems. In some ways, I think I saw something in her that first day that made me acutely aware that she was very, very broken on the inside.

"Seriously though, thank you for trusting us with that. I know it's probably not something you like talking about." I knew all too well what it was like to admit you had a problem. My own were nothing like battling addiction, but my own closet held skeletons I didn't talk about very often. "I hope that someday you'll realize that you're one of us now. That means you don't have to go through anything alone anymore."

There were tears lining her dark lashes when she looked up to me. "I hope you don't mind if it takes me a while to get there," she whispered. "I haven't exactly had good luck with anyone sticking around and having my back before."

With the mood for the evening effectively killed, Jon excused himself shortly after our little altercation without saying a word. Rain worried that we'd upset him, until I assured her that was typical Jon. When he got to his limit for the night, he would get up and stagger to his own apartment two blocks away. Trav lifted his head from the breakfast bar at the sound of the door slamming shut and stumbled to his bedroom, leaving Rain and I alone in the living room.

"You ready to go home?" I wasn't ready for the night to end, but there was no point in sitting around Travis's apartment now that it was just the two of us.

"Seeing as my ride may or may not have made it to his bed before passing out, I think I'm stuck here for the night," she replied, peering down the dark hallway.

I stood and extended a hand to help her up from the couch. "Come on, I'll give you a ride."

"No, really, it's okay. He can run me home in the morning. Besides, shouldn't you think about crashing here too?" My eyes followed hers to the collection of beer bottles littering the coffee table, and I knew she was right. There was no way I could drive anywhere.

"You know how to drive, right?" I grabbed my keys off the kitchen counter and tossed them to her. "I'm hungry. Come on, you're not going to make me sit alone at the diner, are you? Do you have any clue how pathetic I'll look if I do that?"

With her head still bowed towards the ground, Rain lifted her eyes to me. I have no clue why that simple look turned me on, but there was no denying the stirring I felt in my jeans. I tried to will myself soft, fearing she would think I was a pervert trying to get her into bed. Sure, I'd thought about it, but that didn't mean I would act on it.

"I suppose. Wouldn't want your ego bruised by someone seeing you sitting all by yourself.
That
would be the true tragedy," she quipped. I was glad to see all was not lost after the emotional speed bump earlier.

I led her downstairs and out to my car. When I told her I drove a red Mustang, I can only imagine what image she got in her head based on the twinkle in her eyes. I would lay money down that she didn't picture a 1984 Mustang with sun-faded paint, a dented quarter panel and ripped cloth seats. No, it wasn't anything special but it got me from point A to point B faithfully.

"This is me," I said, opening the driver's side door and helping her in the car.

"Wow... it's no wonder you're single if you try picking girls up for dates in this thing," she laughed.

"Who said I pick up girls in anything?" I asked. Suddenly, I wanted it to be abundantly clear that I was single by choice. I didn't see the point in taking time away from my music for a girl who would drop me like a bad habit if I wasn't in a band. I'd had my days of endless pussy when I was eighteen and learned it really wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

I slammed the door shut and ran around to my side of the car. We didn't say anything on the short drive to Shari's and even when seated, that silence continued.

Finally, I was the one who couldn't take the silence any longer. "So, how
did
you and Travis meet? If you don't want to tell me, just tell me to butt the fuck out and I will. But I get the feeling there's a missing piece of this puzzle somewhere."

After staring out the window for a while, Rain folded her hands on the table in front of her and looked to me. "I don't know why it's a big deal, but it is to me. Travis is friends with one of my counselors from rehab. After she heard me playing the piano in the resident lounge, she started asking about my music. She said music would be a good outlet for me."

Her gaze drifted into the distance again and I knew she was trying to decide how much to tell me. "When it got close to time for me to get out, she told me she had a friend—Travis. She told me she wanted to talk to him on my behalf to see if he knew of anyone looking for a singer since I told her that was my real dream. And I guess the rest is history."

"This is the last time we're doing this," I said, reaching over the edge of the bed to get my jeans. I could not get out of that bedroom fast enough.

"Whatever you say," she purred, gently running her well-manicured nails down my arm. Just the feel of those bony fingers touching my skin made me feel ill. This wasn't the woman I wanted to be in bed with. I knew it and I'm pretty sure she knew it too.

"I'm serious. We're leaving on tour next week and they'll notice if I sneak away to come and see you. This has to stop." I'm pretty sure Jon knew I had been fucking her off and on for the past six months, but he hadn't said anything about it. As long as it didn't screw up the band, he didn't care where I got my dick wet.