Blind Impulse (11 page)

She frowned.  “You mean ever
y knight does something just as insane?”

His dark eyes sparked angrily but his face slowly melted into a wry grin.  “If they are worth their salt, yes.”

Alyna threw up her hands.  “Why?”

He sighed and leaned against the wall, folding his arms across his ma
ssive chest.  “There comes a time in a man’s life, especially if he is a warrior, where he must push himself beyond his normal limitations.  Remember when Roger would stay up for days trying to perfect certain techniques?  You and Cecily never understood w
hy but he wouldn’t go to bed until he got it right.”

“
I remember.”

“
With a knight - it’s the same principle but different method.  Exhaustion plays a huge role in battle. When the muscles are weary it becomes that much more difficult to maintain correct de
fense. The shield dips slightly, the sword arm slows. Unfortunately, that will get an experienced knight killed just as quickly as if he were an untrained squire. We train for this Alyna, but the only way is to drive ourselves beyond the breaking point. Wh
en the body can take no more, we work even harder to maintain the proper defense.”

Alyna scowled. “That makes sense...somewhat.”

“
But there is more on the mental and emotional level. Garin followed his training, Alyna. He had to drive himself to exhaustion
to strip away everything.  Only once the defenses are gone, when the body moves beyond pain, can he become something other than what he was born to.  He moves beyond the limits of flesh and the ideals which tell him to stop because it hurts too much.  Onl
y after that is achieved can his mind be molded to accept what it would normally reject as impossible to obtain.  Garin knows this.  He knows the journey facing him will be unlike anything he has ever encountered.  By working as he did today he took the fi
rst step of his journey.”

Alyna shook her head.  It still did not make sense.  “But why torture himself so?”

“
There is no other way to do it.”  He sighed and thought for a moment.  “I know it is difficult for you to understand because you are a woman.  But
I have been told that there are times when women go through the same thing.  Giving birth to a child is one of them.  Moving beyond the pain and continuing when she thinks she cannot stand it another moment prepares a woman for becoming a mother.”

Alyna t
hought that was absolutely ridiculous.  “Who told you that?” 

He grinned.  “My mother,” he said and winked at her, then turned and walked away.

Alyna shook her head and returned to Garin.  Her father confused her but it was too late to do anything about i
t now.  With Garin exhausted, her ideas for teaching would
have to wait until tomorrow.  She only hoped her father was right and Garin would not suffer because of what he had done today.

Chapter Six

Garin awoke again with A
lyna in his arms, nearly the same position she had been yesterday morning.  Her soft body was pliant against his.  She stirred and he pulled her closer, unwilling to give up the wondrous sensation.

Alyna propped herself up on her elbow, her thick hair casc
ading over him like finely spun silk.  “How are you feeling this morn?”

“
Stiff and sore but otherwise fine.”  He smiled.  “I shall have to do that more often.”

“
Oh no you don’t.”

He laughed and pulled her on top of him.  Alyna’s breath caught faintly in he
r throat.

“
I don’t mean driving myself like that,” he said and touched her face.  “I mean working with the practice dummy.  It made me realize there are things I can still do without my sight.”  He pulled her to him and kissed her soundly.

At first she sti
ffened in surprise but then relaxed and returned his kiss.  Garin’s heart soared.  Perhaps there was not only a chance of him learning to cope with his blindness but for the two of them as well.

She pulled away with a throaty chuckle.  “Well, if the fiasco
yesterday made you realize that, perhaps it was worth it.” 

His smile grew.  “But you, my sweet, spoke of other ideas.  That was the reason you had me move the table, right?”

“
Aye,” she said and tugged his hand to her mouth.  He felt her lips smiling, so
ft and velvety against his palm.  “It can start with breakfast but you won’t have to worry about the servants jokes.  I will see to your meal this morning.”

His finger slid across her bottom lip, enjoying the feel of it.  “That sounds like a wonderful idea
.”

Alyna kissed the palm of his hand and scrambled out of bed.

Garin sat up and groaned as his stiff muscles protested.  He pulled his arms above his head and stretched, joints popping, then rubbed his jaw, feeling rough stubble.

“
I’m going to the kitchen
s,” she said. 

“
All right.”  He waited a moment and called a servant to bring a tub so he could bathe and get dressed.

It didn’t take very long to prepare everything.  Garin sank gratefully into the tub, the hot water soothing his stiff muscles.  The man
servant washed his hair and then prepared a shave.

Garin caught the subtle sound of a second person moving through the room.  He frowned and cocked his head, learning to depend even more on his hearing.  He heard the
rustle of skirts.  Had Alyna returned a
lready?  Garin doubted it.  Alyna usually announced herself.  He listened closer, the other person did not have her same tread and he did not smell the gentle scent of lavender.

“
Who else is in here?” Garin asked tightly.

The servant stiffened and stopped
shaving him.  “No one my lord.”

Garin noticed the other sound stopped as well.  He waited a long moment but heard nothing more.  Was he imagining things?  Abruptly he realized if he could not trust his other senses then he would be truly lost.

The servant
began to shave him again and Garin started to think the sound was truly his imagination.  The tread of soft shoes and the rustle of skirts continued, moving around the room quickly.

“
Who is in here?” Garin barked.

The servant jumped and the razor gouged Ga
rin’s cheek.  He roared in pain and fury, bolting to his feet.

****

Alyna heard Garin’s enraged shout all the way in the kitchens.  Her heart stalled and she sprinted back to their room.  Eleanor joined her on the stairs.  Now what had happened?

Alyna ba
rreled through the door.  The sight that greeted her almost caused her to faint.  Garin stood with his back to her, completely naked, water and soap dripping down his body.  He was sheer perfection.  He turned his head slightly.  Her gaze traveled to the s
ide of his face, soaped for shaving but with blood trickling down his cheek.

“
What happened?”

Garin flinched and started to turn.

“
Nay
!  Don’t turn around.”  Eleanor barked from beside her.

He sat down in the tub with a splash.  “This idiot tried to take my
face off.”  He paused and gulped a deep breath.  Alyna knew he battled to control his rage and use his other senses.  “There is another person in here,” he said tightly.  “A woman.”

Alyna blinked in surprise, only now acknowledging the state of Garin’s ro
om.  Every piece of clothing Garin owned was strewn about the floor, tossed in corners, with bureau drawers emptied upside down on the clothing.

“
A woman?” Alyna asked tightly, her gaze searching the room.  Why would a woman be in Garin’s...her husband’s..
.room while he bathed?  An irrational anger rose within her.

Garin, holding a cloth to his bleeding cheek, shook his head.  “I heard her moving, but I knew she wasn’t you.  When I asked this sod,” he paused and gestured in the general direction of the cowe
ring servant.  “He claimed there was no one else in here.  But I know there is, Alyna.”

She believed him.  She stepped forward and grabbed the bath sheet, placing it over his shoulders.  Garin quickly stood and wrapped it around him but remained in the tub
.  Eleanor also entered.  Alyna walked to the other side of the bed.  She saw a form huddled on the floor, obviously trying to hide.  Her eyes widened in shock.  “Juliana?”

“
What?” Garin growled.

Eleanor sucked in her breath.  “This is most...unseemly,” sh
e whispered.

Juliana, her face crimson, slowly stood.  Her blue eyes shot daggers at Alyna.

“
Care you to explain yourself?” Alyna growled. 

Juliana drew herself up.  “You think I would come in here to ogle at my blind brother?” She snorted.  “You foolish girl.”

Alyna swallowed hard, wanting to slap the wench.  But as she told Garin so many times she forc
ed herself to control her anger and looked around the room.  “Nay,” she said abruptly.  “You came in to destroy his things.  Look at this room.  Why did you do this, Juliana?”

“
Only to prove a point,” she said haughtily.  “You are risking Garin’s life with
this foolishness.  I entered this room and was able to destroy it.  What if I had been an attacker?  I could have just as easily killed him and he never knew I was here.”

“
But he did know,” Alyna snapped.  “You are most fortunate he was in the bath and he
recognized you for being a woman.  If Garin had thought otherwise, he might have torn you apart before he realized who you were.”

Juliana paled.  “Impossible, he could not catch me.”

Alyna felt a smile tug at her lips.  “We shall see about that.”  She ste
pped forward, her manner threatening.  Juliana squeaked and lunged past her.  Before Alyna could blink, Garin bounded out of the tub and oriented on Juliana as she sought to escape.  He seized her arm and stopped her flight.

“
Be grateful,” Garin growled. 
“That I need my other hand to hold this bath sheet in place.”

Juliana cowered but Garin did not ease his grip.  “Don’t you understand, Garin?” she wailed.  “This is a fool’s errand.  Alyna is only giving you false hope so she can control our barony.  When
this is over, you will be locked in the church, your dreams dashed.”

Garin curled his lip and he shoved her to the door.  “Get out and do not enter my room again.”

Juliana quickly fled.

Alyna rounded on the trembling servant.  “Lie to the baron again and I
will have Sir Renwick thrash you.”  She held out her hand.  “Give me the razor.”

The servant handed it to her and ran for the door.

Eleanor sighed and rubbed her eyes.  “I don’t believe this.  What has gotten into that girl?”

“
I don’t know, M
other,” Garin
replied.  “But she is beginning to worry me.”

“
Eleanor,” Alyna said softly.  “I was overseeing Garin’s breakfast.  If you could make certain the servants prepare it properly, I will help Garin finish shaving.”

Eleanor nodded and left, closing the door beh
ind her.

Garin sighed and returned to the tub, dropping the bath sheet.

Steeling herself, Alyna moved next to Garin and dabbed the blood away with a clean rag.  “It’s not bad.  Hold still and I’ll shave you.”

****

Garin sat back in the tub and allowed he
r to work.  Alyna tried to concentrate on what she was doing but her gaze kept wandering down his chest, watching the water run in tiny rivulets through the deep cuts of muscle.  She clamped down on her emotions and
finished shaving him.

Garin remained unu
sually quiet.

Alyna gave him a final rinse, gritting her teeth as her hands slid over the hard muscle of his body.  She forced herself to look away as he stood and she wrapped the bath sheet around him.

Why am I acting like this?  He is my husband.

Garin d
ried off and Alyna’s gaze swept over the destroyed room.  “What a mess,” she whispered.  “Garin, what do you want to wear today?”

He shrugged.  “My black doeskin braccas with the Celtic knotwork are my favorites.”  He shoved a pile of clothing with his foo
t.  “If you can find them.”

“
One step at a time, Garin,” she said with a lightness she did not feel.  “We’ll get you dressed, eat our breakfast, and then work on the clothing.”  She dug through a couple of piles and was lucky enough to find the breeches qu
ickly.  “Are these the ones you wanted?” she asked, holding them out to him.

Garin lightly ran his fingers over the Celtic embroidery that ran the length of the outside seam.  “Aye,” he said, his lips tugging upward ever so slightly.

She rooted around in a
nother pile for a moment.  “I found a nice white tunic.  Will this be all right?”  She handed it to him.

Again Garin’s fingers touched it, pausing over the silver embroidery at the hem and neckline.  His lips traveled up even more.

Alyna studied him a mome
nt.  “What?” she asked suspiciously.

Garin’s smile broadened into a bright grin that seemed to light the room.  “Only you would ask a blind man his opinion on clothing.”

Alyna’s jaw went slack.  “Garin, I....” her voice faded in an injured tone.

“
Nay,” Gar
in said, stepping closer.  “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.  Only you, Alyna, would have the faith in me to be able to choose.”

“
But you did,” she said in confusion.  “I saw your hands touch the embroidery.  You knew exactly which article I handed you
.”

He nodded, his smile still bright.  “But others never gave me that consideration.  Right after I recovered from my fever, the servants couldn’t understand how I knew when they would try to dress me in mismatched clothes.”

Garin lightly touched her arm t
hen his fingers slid up, over her shoulder and to her face where he sensuously traced the sweep of her jaw.  Alyna shivered and remained perfectly still.  “I must admit,” he said, his voice low and powerful.  “That Juliana’s stunt today played on my doubts
.  But every time you have countered my doubt with hope.”

“
Garin,” she said, her voice shaking.  “I know this is terribly difficult for you but you must believe in yourself.  Learning how to handle a sword or charge with a couched lance did not happen over
night did it?”

A chuckle rumbled low through his chest.  “Nay, lady, and I remember many times I garnered some nasty bumps and bruises along the way.  Is that what you mean to tell me, my sweet?  I have more bumps and bruises awaiting me.”

She smiled and h
is thumb traced over her lips.  “Aye, my lord.”

“
You are a remarkable woman, Alyna,” he whispered and brushed his lips against hers.

Alyna’s thoughts reeled at the intensity of the simple action.  She suddenly wished he would toss the silly bath sheet away
and pull her into his arms.  As he drew her closer, she thought he might do just that but his stomach rumbled loudly and he stepped back with a sigh.

Alyna quickly regained her senses.  “Ah, Garin,” she said softly.  “You went for so long
half-starved
dur
ing the crusades it seems absolutely cruel to make you wait for another meal when there is no need.  Let me see how things fare with the food.  We will dine together and if my plan works, the servants will no longer play their jokes on you.”

Again his lips
lifted.  “This shall prove most interesting, my sweet.”

“
That it shall.”