Authors: Josephine Cox
On his way back in, the telephone was ringing. ‘Answer it, Jimmy!’ Nancy called down. ‘See who it is!’
Gingerly, he collected the receiver into his bulky fist. ‘Hello, who is it please?’
Holding it away from his ear, he waited for the caller to speak. ‘Oh, Mandy, yes all right, I’ll go and fetch her.’
Nancy was already hurrying across the room to take up the conversation. ‘Hello, Mandy, what’s wrong, love?’ She feared the worst.
When Nancy replaced the receiver it was to tell Jimmy that she had to go to the hospital immediately.
‘Is it Alice?’ Jimmy was frantic. ‘What’s happened?’
Ignoring Jimmy, Nancy made for the telephone. Quickly dialling the number, Nancy waited a moment. ‘This is Nancy Arnold. I need a taxi now, please…yes, right away.’ She gave her address, together with the destination, ‘Bedford hospital, and it’s very urgent!’
Within minutes, carrying her coat and a heavy bag, she was pacing up and down at the front gate. ‘It’s all right, Alice, love. I’m on my way.’
She was anxious about Tom but she knew she couldn’t wait any longer.
She thought it alarming how in the space of a single day, her whole life and that of her family had been turned upside down.
In a surprisingly short time the taxi arrived. ‘Don’t forget what I said, Jimmy.’ Nancy reminded him as she climbed into the back seat. ‘Go and find Tom. See if everything’s all right. Tell him Alice is asking for me. Tell him I waited as long as I could, and now he’ll just have to follow on as best he can.’
‘Don’t you worry, Nancy,’ Jimmy reassured her, ‘I’ll find him, and I’ll be sure to tell him what you said, and I’ll keep trying the Jacobs’ number.’
Before locking the doors behind him, he stood and waved as the taxi carried her off, down the lane and out of sight. ‘Find Tom,’ he muttered over and over as he ran across the fields. ‘Find Tom!’
With fear in his chest like a clenched fist, he ran down to the brook, where he then followed it for a distance, before heading up towards the rise.
At first he went at some speed, eager to find Tom, worried about Joe, and remembering what had happened to Alice.
As the way grew more difficult, he slowed down, calling as he went, ‘Tom! Where are you?’
He stopped awhile to take a breather, then he set off at a brisker pace. When the frightened horse came careering wildly down the bank towards him, he almost lost his footing. ‘Carter!’ His heart skipped a beat. ‘Where’s Tom? Have you thrown ‘im off, is that what you’ve done? Oh, you bad creature!’
He shouted out loud. ‘Tom, where are you?’ His voice echoed through the hills and died away. There was no response, no sound, other than the heightening breeze whipping through the valley.
He glanced back; Carter had skidded to a halt, and was now
grazing quietly on the fields. ‘Carter…here!’ He gave a long, soft whistle, the like of which Tom used to call Carter in from the fields. ‘Let’s go and find Tom, eh?’
In answer, the horse violently threw his head back and began scraping the ground with his hoof. ‘Woah, woah boy!’ As Jimmy started towards it, the horse became increasingly nervous, loudly whinnying and ready to take flight.
‘Easy, boy…easy.’ Jimmy was convinced that something bad must have happened to scare him like that.
‘I can see you’ve got no stomach for going back up there eh.’ He spoke calmly. ‘You stay here then,’ he said. ‘Don’t go anywhere, Carter! Stay right here!’ He had a feeling that one way or another, he might need that faithful old horse.
Continuing on his way, he had a bad feeling. Something’s wrong, he thought to himself. Where’s Tom? Did he find Frank? Something’s gone wrong, I know it! And where’s Joe?
Knowing Frank better than most, he knew he could not rule out anything.
When he got to the top of the rise, Jimmy looked this way and that, searching for Tom, hoping to catch sight of the brothers, but there was no one in sight.
Cupping his hands about his mouth, he shouted to the elements, ‘Tom…where are you?’
Nothing.
Again, ‘Tom!…Joe!’
Nothing.
As he quickened his steps, he realised that the misshapen bundle on the ground before him was Tom.
For one agonising moment he recalled his horror at finding Alice and now, on seeing Tom, his first instinct was to turn and run; to let someone else deal with it, and he was ashamed at such a cowardly thought.
He now inched forward, sickened by what he found. Tom’s face and head were caked in blood, and he wasn’t moving.
‘Don’t let him be dead. Please don’t let him be dead.’ Unsure what to do, he continued to stare down at Tom, his eyes big as saucers, his mind in chaos.
He noted how Tom was lying, very still, face up, and to Jimmy’s mind, he was already gone from this world. ‘It was
him
, wasn’t it, Tom?’ He muttered to himself, ‘Frank’s the only one I know who’s capable of such a thing. Oh, but what sort of cowardly man is he to do this to his own father?’
He fell to his knees. ‘I’m sorry, Tom. He’s your son I know, but he’s an evil man. I’ve always said he were dangerous. I tried to tell you what he was like but you wouldn’t listen.
Nobody ever listened!
’
Gathering Tom into his arms, he began to quietly sob. Suddenly Tom opened his eyes and whispered brokenly, ‘Help me…’
‘Tom!’ Jimmy was laughing and crying all at the same time. ‘God! You gave me such a fright.’
Aware of how fragile the older man was, Jimmy asked, ‘What shall I do, Tom?’ With extraordinary tenderness, he slid his two arms round Tom’s plump body, shifting him into a more comfortable position. ‘I thought you were dead, Tom…I really thought you were dead! You’re too heavy for me to carry all the way down the valley, so shall we wait together and hope they send someone to look for us? Or shall I go back and raise the alarm? I don’t want to leave you here, Tom, but even if we tried our damnedest, I don’t reckon you’d ever make it down, not the way you are. Besides, if I moved you…put you upon Carter, I might do you a damage.’
Partly veiled by blood, the extensive wound on the side of Tom’s head was shocking to see. ‘You need help badly, Tom. So, will you be all right if I leave you here while I fetch help?’
Finding it hard to concentrate his mind, Tom was genuinely terrified that Frank might come back to finish the job. He tried to tell Jimmy this, but his throat felt strangled and he couldn’t get the words out.
Fearing that Tom would actually consider making an attempt at the arduous journey back, Jimmy had to be brutally honest. ‘You’ll do yourself in if you try and make it down,’ he told him. ‘It’s difficult enough for a healthy man, never mind someone who’s badly injured. Don’t even think of it, Tom,’ he urged. ‘You’ll never make it!’ Even as he spoke, Tom’s breathing had grown increasingly laboured.
Like Jimmy, Tom realised he would never make it down the high banks. There was no strength in his body, and with every minute that passed, he felt as though he was drifting further away. And the thought of Joe lying down in the gully, was like a knife through his heart.
When he accepted Jimmy’s argument with a small nod of the head, Jimmy gave a sigh of relief. ‘You’ll have to trust me, Tom,’ he said. ‘I won’t let you down, you know that.’
He leaned closer. ‘I’ll be back in no time,’ he confided, ‘I’ll fetch help…I will! Ripping off his jacket he placed it over Tom, ‘Meantime, you need to keep warm.
‘Carter’s waiting at the bottom…he’ll take me the rest of the way.’
He saw the whimsical little smile on Tom’s lips, and he knew what he was thinking…that Jimmy had not sat astride a horse since he was catapulted off the previous summer. Having sailed through the air he ended up in a hawthorn hedge; bruising both his pride and his rear end.
Tom was desperate. He needed to let Jimmy know about Joe, but as the minutes ticked away, he felt himself sinking fast. Fearing his time had come, he was determined to hold on, aware that Joe depended on him.
Taking a minute to make Tom more comfortable, Jimmy showed his anger. ‘Frank did this, didn’t he? And what about Joe…where’s Joe?’
In reply, all Tom could do was slowly move his hand on the ground. Pointing his finger towards the edge of the rise, he
summoned every last ounce of strength. ‘Joe.’ He needed Jimmy to know that Joe had been shot, and was lying at the foot of the gully.
It wasn’t the mumbled name that alerted Jimmy. It was the look in Tom’s eyes, and the determined manner with which Tom was twitching his finger, as though pointing to something. ‘What is it, Tom?’
‘
Joe.
’ Exhausted, Tom fell back, his sorry gaze trained on Jimmy, as though willing him to understand.
It took a moment for Jimmy to realise what Tom was trying to tell him. He clambered up. ‘What, Tom? Is Joe down there in the gully?’
Relieved that Jimmy understood, Tom gave the whisper of a smile; then safe in the knowledge that Jimmy would find Joe, he closed his eyes and sank into the darkness.
Jimmy ran to the edge and looked down into the gully. ‘Oh, my God! Joe!’ He screamed out Joe’s name, but Joe was long past hearing.
Running back, Jimmy was disturbed to see how the older man looked pale as death. ‘Don’t you die on me, old man!’
On touching Tom’s hand he was shaken by how cold it was. ‘Must keep you warm,’ he mumbled. ‘Must keep you warm!’
Swaddling the coat tighter about Tom, Jimmy kept talking. ‘I’m going now, Tom, but I’ll be back…d’you hear me, Tom Arnold! I’ll be back, for you and Joe…I promise!’
Tom made no response. In his deep subconscious, all he could see was Joe broken and battered, lying in that deep gully.
Somewhere inside he blamed himself, and the guilt was tenfold. Just as Frank had promised.
Skidding and tumbling down the high banks, Jimmy found Carter where he had left him. ‘Come on, boy…we have to get help quick. Don’t you let me down now!’
He approached the horse softly. ‘Don’t fight me, boy, I won’t hurt you,’ Jimmy lightly coaxed him. ‘I don’t relish the idea
of climbing on to your back, but we have to get help. We need to trust each other; you have to go like the wind. Don’t do it for me! Do it for Tom…and Joe,’
Jimmy continued talking real soft, until he was close enough to stroke Carter’s face. ‘Tom’s always taken care of you, so now it’s your turn to help him.’
With great caution he climbed on to Carter’s back, and for one frightening moment Jimmy was certain the horse would bolt and throw him off.
Somehow though, the old horse appeared to sense that Tom was hurt and needed help, and when Jimmy gently put his heels into his soft fleshy sides, Carter went off at a trot, then he was cantering, and when they got to the straight he took off like the wind.
With Carter galloping at high speed towards the village, Jimmy urged him on. ‘Come on, Carter! Keep going! We’re nearly there, boy!’
As they neared the village, Jimmy’s mind was in chaos. From start to finish, this was the worst day of his sorry life.
From what he had seen, he had to believe there was no hope for Joe. But Tom was still alive, and that was enough to drive him on.
‘Faster, Carter…C’mon!’
Tapping his feet against the horse’s plump belly, he yelled into the wind, ‘Faster, boy…Faster!’
And as always, the faithful old horse gave everything he’d got.
A
LICE WAS ANXIOUS
.
She had waited for this day for so long, and now that it was here, she was afraid and alone, unsure of her future.
After eight long weeks in hospital she had been told she would be allowed home. And now she had to ask herself where home was.
Impatient, she had already packed the canvas bag that her father had brought the day before. The contents consisted of two nighties, a hand-held mirror, a drawstring bag of toiletries, a pair of slippers and a hairbrush.
The absence of her mother and sister throughout her time at the hospital had not really surprised Alice, but her father had visited as often as he could, as had her grandparents. On one occasion, her father brought her an incredibly soft and expensive hairbrush. ‘The shop assistant said it would gently massage your scalp,’ he explained, kissing her awkwardly on the forehead.
Her father was clearly ashamed and embarrassed at how Frank had contacted the newspapers with his deceitful version of what happened, to try to save his own neck. Consequently, the story was reported in newspapers far and wide, together with a graphic and twisted description of the sordid reason
behind his merciless attack on his family. Frank had slyly twisted the truth to try to gain public sympathy.
In spite of a wide-scale operation by police to track Frank down, they had not yet been successful in rooting him out.
‘Ah, so here we are then, all packed and ready to go!’ Big in heart, body and voice, Nurse O’Conner’s claim to fame was that she had actually kissed the blarney stone and two days later found the man of her dreams. Sadly, a year later he ran off with the Avon lady.
‘So, me darlin’!’ Bustling about in that familiar manner Alice had come to know so well, she asked, ‘Ye’ll be going home, to that fine father of yours, will ye?’ Lifting Alice into the chair, she wagged a finger. ‘Didn’t I tell you I would pack the bag? You couldn’t wait, could ye, eh?’
Alice apologised. ‘Sorry.’
‘Ah, sure it’s all right. Take no notice o’ me. I’m in a bit of a cranky mood this morning.’
She made Alice comfortable in the chair. ‘Sure, ye know what I’m like when I sleep too long. Only I took a wee dram last night…just celebrating like ye do. Y’see, I don’t normally take the drink, only me brother was staying with me. He’s an awful bad influence so he is!’
She giggled. ‘Hey! Ye should have seen Sister’s face when I turned up half an hour late. It was like the day of judgment I’m telling ye!’
Having told the tale, Nurse O’Conner promptly broke another rule by seating herself on the edge of the bed. ‘Now then, me darlin’, where’s your little friend this morning? What’s her name, Mandy, yes, that’s it: stocky little creature with a big smile.’
‘Mandy said she’ll come and see me once I’m home,’ Alice replied. ‘Mind you, I’m not really sure whether my mother is happy about taking me in. Father says she’s pleased to have me, but I don’t know about that.’ She gave a wry little
smile, ‘You do know, she hasn’t been to see me, not even once?’
‘Ah sure, I’m well aware of that!’ Nurse O’Conner tutted. ‘If ye don’t mind me saying, I can’t understand your mother. I know she has not set foot in this hospital, not to give a hug nor comfort of any kind. What kind of a mother is that, if ye don’t mind me saying?
‘I could never turn me back on a daughter of mine. I’d be worried out of me mind, so I would. I mean, just look at the sorry state ye were in when they brought ye here. Sure we didn’t even know if you’d survive the night let alone two months.’
She assured Alice, ‘If I was yer mammy, I’d have moved heaven and earth to be with ye, so I would!’
Alice had come to accept Nurse O’Conner’s outspoken manner. It was part of her reliable, no-nonsense nature. She loved people and was passionate about everything, and to Alice that was a fine thing.
Nurse O’Conner suddenly stopped short. ‘Will ye listen to me…calling your mammy as though I had a right!’ She tutted loudly. ‘I’ve got a big gob so I have. Sure one day somebody will try and shut me up and there’ll be an almighty fight so there will!’ She clenched her fist and punched the air.
Alice laughed out loud. ‘They would never do that,’ she said. ‘You’re too well loved by everybody, and I for one don’t know what I would have done without you giving me a lecture when I felt sorry for myself, and threatening to abandon me when I threw a tantrum. You’ve been more than a nurse to me. You’ve been a good friend…someone I could talk to in confidence.’
Nurse O’Conner brushed aside her comments. ‘Ah, sure that what I’m here for,’ she declared with a broad smile, ‘I have to keep you lot in line, so I do!’
Alice recalled how she had woken from a long, dark sleep to see that rosy, round face smiling down on her. ‘You were there
for me, right from the beginning,’ she told her now. ‘You were there when I closed my eyes and then again when I woke up.’
Nurse O’Conner laughed out loud. ‘Will ye stop now! Ye make it sound like I
haunted
ye!’
Having monitored Alice throughout her ordeal, she had come to know and like her. She witnessed the fear when the nightmares took hold, and she felt her pain when she cried out in the night; often calling for Joe, the man she clearly loved.
She asked again, ‘Yer father’s coming to collect ye, isn’t that what ye said?’
Alice nodded. ‘That’s what he told me, yes.’
‘Will your mammy be with him d’ye think?’
Alice shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. She’s too embarrassed and angry.’ She looked up. ‘You do know what I did, don’t you?’ she asked in a shamed whisper. ‘Before Frank and I were married, I slept with his brother Joe. So now everyone knows I’m a trollop of the worst kind.’
The nurse shook her head. ‘All they know is what they read in the papers, which half the time is a lot of lies and old rubbish…’
Alice interrupted, ‘No! It’s true!’ She could not deny it. ‘It’s
all
true, every word of it.’ The awful knowledge of what she had done was like a weight on her soul, and yet the one single thing that warmed her heart and kept her going through the darkest hours was the memory of being in Joe’s arms.
Even now after all that had happened, she truly believed, that was where she belonged.
When the tears pricked her eyes, she turned away. ‘I did a terrible thing,’ she murmured as though to herself, ‘…a shameful, unforgiveable thing, and I deserved what Frank did to me.’
‘Don’t say that, child!’ Nurse O’Conner was shocked. ‘The things he did to you, were cruel beyond belief…
barbaric
,
that’s what it was! Oh, and look how he attacked his own father and brother.’ Making the sign of the cross she added softly, ‘It’s a mercy no lives were lost; though it’s a terrible state of affairs all the same.’
Alice had spent every waking moment thinking of Joe, praying with all her might that he was okay and that Frank had not done what she feared he would.
When she learned from her father that Joe had been seriously injured, and was lying in the intensive care unit at a specialist hospital, she was devastated but thankful that he was alive.
Spurred on by the news Alice had been determined to regain her strength as soon as possible. The idea of seeing Joe again had kept her spirits up and made her determined to recover.
Joe was the reason she was so thankful to be leaving now.
Nurse O’Conner was still chattering on, ‘I don’t mind telling you, when they find Frank Arnold, they should hang him by the neck, and be done with it.’
‘Nurse O’Conner!’ Sister Maitland’s voice cut through the air. ‘Have you forgotten where you are!’ Hurrying up the ward was a small, wiry person with piercing green eyes and an air of authority. ‘What are you doing, sitting on the bed like that? Explain yourself!’
‘Oh! Sister Maitland!’ Horrified, Nurse O’Conner leapt off the bed. ‘I was…er…I was just…er checking the bed.’
‘Oh? So you were checking the bed, were you?’ This was not the first time Sister Maitland had cause to discipline Nurse O’Conner, and from her experience it surely would not be the last. ‘And might I ask,
why
you were checking the bed?’
Alice discreetly interrupted. ‘It’s my fault, Sister,’ she apologised, ‘I felt uncomfortable through the night and Nurse O’Conner wondered if there was a lump in the mattress or something.’
‘Oh, I see!’ Giving Nurse O’Conner a wary glance, she said, ‘So, did you manage to find this lump?’
‘No, Sister! Not yet I haven’t, but I’ll keep at it so I will.’
‘Somehow, I don’t think that would be advisable.’ Sister Maitland was on to her. ‘I think it might be safer to leave the matter there.’ It was a veiled but definite warning all the same, prompting Nurse O’Conner to quickly shut her mouth and leap to attention.
Addressing Alice in a softer tone, Sister Maitland asked, ‘So then, Alice, you’re all ready to leave are you?’
‘Yes, Sister.’
‘And you’ll be going home to your parents, will you?’
Alice nodded. ‘Yes, Sister.’
‘Will you be wanting transport arranged? You’re still quite weak, and not back to full health, my dear. You must remember to treat yourself kindly and rest often. It will take time for you to feel anything like your old self.’ She glanced at Alice’s medical notes. ‘Follow the guidelines, oh and don’t forget to keep your hospital appointment. That’s very important!’
‘Yes, Sister. Thank you, I will.’ In answer to the older woman’s question she explained, ‘I won’t need transport though; my father is collecting me.’
‘That’s good! Well, the doctor is on his rounds as we speak. It’ll be a while before he gets to you, so maybe if Nurse O’Conner is not too preoccupied with the lump in the mattress, she might get you a nice hot cup of tea while you wait.’
‘Ah sure, I can do that, Sister. I’m away at the double so I am.’
‘And while you’re at it, Nurse O’Conner, please observe the rules of this hospital; one of which is that you do not sit on the patient’s bed! Rules are put in place for very good reasons, and I will thank you to remember that!’
‘Yes, Sister, I’ll remember that, so I will!’
Looking from one to the other, Sister Maitland again addressed Nurse O’Conner. ‘By the way, there is one more thing you should consider…’
‘Yes, Sister?’
‘Contrary to what you nurses imagine, I am not as gullible as you might like to think.’
Knowing exactly what she meant, Nurse O’Conner chose to act the innocent. ‘I’m sorry, Sister, but I don’t think such a thing!’
‘Enough of that! What I’m saying is this: I have eyes and ears and I rarely miss a trick.’ Narrowing her eyes, she asked meaningfully, ‘I hope you understand what I’m saying, Nurse O’Conner?’
‘Yes, Sister, I’m sure I do.’
‘Good!’ Striding briskly away, she had the whisper of a smile on her face.
There was no doubt in her mind that Nurse O’Conner would think twice before breaching the rules again.
It was an hour later when Doctor Edwards arrived at Alice’s bedside. A tall, lanky figure of a man, he had Sister Maitland at his side. ‘Sorry for the delay,’ he told Alice, who had been growing increasingly anxious. ‘It’s been a busy morning.’
Collecting Alice’s notes from the foot of the bed, he stood, head bent, as he read them. ‘Mmm,’ he kept saying, ‘mmm…yes. How are we feeling today, Alice?’ When she was brought in he thought he had rarely encountered such shocking injuries.
Now though, after extensive treatment and tender care, Alice had come through her ordeal, not entirely unscathed or completely healed in body and mind, but she was at least
stronger in spirit and looking more like the lovely girl she had evidently been before.
‘I’m feeling much better in myself, doctor.’ Alice had been seriously depressed by her appearance when she was first able to see into a mirror. Back then, her confidence had been at rock bottom, and even today her injuries were still painfully evident.
‘I’m ready to go home,’ she said bravely.
‘And are you feeling able to face the outside world?’
Alice took a moment to think about that. Her physical scars were visible but fading fast, and her scalp was almost healed.
When she was first admitted, they had to shave her head in order to treat the deep wounds. Now her long tresses were gone, but her hair had grown into a strong, elfin-like cap, which, according to Nurse O’Conner suited her well.
‘If I’m not ready now, I never will be,’ Alice replied.
His question was the one she had asked herself time and again, ever since she was told she might soon be discharged. She had not found the answer then, and she did not have the answer now. All she knew was that she had to leave the security of this place and confront whatever waited for her on the outside. ‘I really am feeling much stronger now,’ she informed him confidently.
In truth though, after two months in the care of medical staff, and a kindly psychologist who had brought her through the worst of her nightmares, Alice was desperately afraid of what life held for her out there.
‘Yes, I’m ready now!’ She was adamant. ‘It’s time to step out into the big wide world.’
He nodded his approval. ‘Sister Maitland tells me your father is on his way to take you home?’
‘He is, yes.’
Alice read the discreet glance exchanged between him and Sister Maitland. ‘I know my mother hasn’t visited,’ she assured
them lamely, ‘but she’s a very busy lady. I’m sure she’ll be with my father when he comes for me.’
‘You may feel stronger now, Alice, but you must not push yourself in any way. No heavy work or getting into heated situations of any kind. You’re bound to be vulnerable and shaky for a time. You’ve been here with us for two months, and you’ve had a strong support team about you. When you leave here it will take all your courage and strength to pick up your life again,’ the doctor told her carefully.
‘I do understand that, doctor, and I
will
take care,’ she promised. ‘I can’t deny I’m feeling a bit shaky, and I’m a little concerned as to how I’ll cope, but I will do it!’
She knew the only way to get on with her life was to face it head on. ‘I’m so grateful to you all for everything,’ she said.