Born Different (32 page)

Descending
fast, Gabe stretched himself out wide again. He knew he could do
it. He knew that he was born to do it. This was his curse and his
gift. He had to do it, for his mum, for his dad, for Grace, for his
friends and for all the people that he felt judged and hated him
too. Judging and hating was a prison of its own, Gabe realised, and
if he felt people should give him a break, then perhaps he should
give others the same benefit. So perhaps most importantly, Gabe had
to do it for himself. And in doing it for himself, he was doing it
for everybody else too.

Gabe summoned
every ounce of strength that he had, from his muscles and from his
spirit. The growths, his wings, that he has kept in the dark,
folded up tight behind him for so many years, were now in the fresh
air with the wind blowing through them and the rays of the sun lit
them up, free at last in their natural habitat after having been
incarcerated for so long. They now spread out into their real, full
magnificent glory.

Immediately,
Gabe started to glide instead of descend. His torso and legs
skimmed the freezing cold water waves of the sea and only Grace
could see him and she suddenly felt safe, totally safe, her body
stopped compelling her to jump too. They were no longer
falling.

Gabe knew what
he had to do and he pulled his wings up behind him and he turned
his head up towards the blinding white sun, now burning bright and
high in the cloudless blue skies above him and he soared up through
the air like it was instinctual to do.

Gabe flew up to
Grace with ease and serenity.

Gabe felt the
heavy meshed weight of anxiety, that usually sat on his lungs,
dragged on his shoulder blades and surrounded his heart, gradually
lighten as it slowly unravelled and dissolved away. Until it was
gone and it was, as if it had never even been there. Gabe could
breathe, finally really breathe, as if for the first time. And now,
in front of everybody that had followed them up here, with his
secret finally exposed, Gabe hovered effortlessly in the air with
his wings out bare, naked and real.

Gabe looked to
the crowd, into the eyes of all the people looking at him. He was
looking the world in the eye and the world was, for the very first
time, looking back at him.

With
everybody’s eyes on him; the masses, The Middles, The Beautiful and
The Damned, everyone; incredulous and speechless, impressed and in
awe. Gabe saw something in every one of them that he recognised in
himself. He saw their own individual life stories, their secrets,
their struggles that were as important to them as his were to
him.

Gabe could see
how different everyone was and at the same time, how similar they
all were. And right here, right now, Gabe made this his truth.

And everything,
in that moment, made sense.

Gabe felt all
the emotions, from love to pity, every feeling different and as
valid. Not good, not bad, but just the experience, the adventure,
the life.

Every eye was
on Gabe and they all too saw themselves in him, they saw their
story, their secrets, their lives revealed. They saw the
similarities and the differences and they knew that both were as
precious. They glimpsed at the truth, and with that…Gabe began to
fly.

In the end a
paradox, of course

That nothing
really matters, and at the same time, every little thing does.

Always and
forever to my children; Eden, Sidney and Hunter

My love-kids;
Kayley, Christian and Olivia

To my soul
sister, Julia King

To all the
friends and family along the way; past, present and future

Sally Mapley
for reading first and being so massively positive

The brilliant
Erasure and INXS for their music and the lyrics at the
beginning

Prince and
Placebo for their constant unwavering companionship

Ditto Puppy La
La.

And always to
Trent, you healed my wings after they had been damaged almost
beyond repair, I love you.