Real
bad.
“All right. I had to do surgery on your mouth and esophagus. And you’re still on a ventilator, which is one of several reasons why you can’t speak. Everything has been repaired, but it’ll need a few more weeks before you can use your voice again. Whatever you do, don’t try to speak until I give you clearance for it.”
Darling tapped Syn’s hand to let him know that he understood. The last thing he wanted to do was prolong his healing.
Syn kept speaking. “I have your eyes bandaged because you had severe hyphemas and orbital blowout fractures.”
Like he knew what those were.
Damn, Syn. I’m not a doctor.
And while blind, he couldn’t look up a definition.
“They’re from…” Syn paused for a second and when he spoke again, there was no missing the bitter rage in his voice. “Being kicked and punched repeatedly in the face and head. Because of that, I had to reconstruct your nose, both cheekbones, and part of your jaw. We also implanted teeth that had been knocked out or damaged beyond repair. You’ll have lifelong problems with your sinuses because of the reconstruction, and you’ll be susceptible to nosebleeds and infections, but we’ll deal with those when they happen.”
Darling flinched as those words reminded him of the blows he’d taken from his former allies, and the blood that had poured out of his nose, mouth, and eyes from their attacks.
He couldn’t even think about the rest of the damage they’d done. Not without wanting to scream.
“Both eyes are healing fine and I should be able to take the
bandage off your right eye tomorrow. The left one will take a little longer to heal. I’m not sure how badly your vision will be compromised from the injuries, but with any luck, you won’t be blind. You should have most of your vision in both eyes.”
Most? Darling clenched his teeth in anger.
“Hopefully all of it. We won’t know for sure though until about a week after both bandages are off. I called in an old friend of mine who’s a specialist to do the last surgery on your eyes, and he said you had a better than a forty percent chance of a full recovery.”
Forty percent? He didn’t want to even contemplate what degree of blindness comprised the other sixty. It was sad when Syn was excited by a number that made him sick to his stomach.
“I know you know that they did a lot of other damage that you’re probably worried about, too.” Syn paused. “Guys? Can you give us the room?”
Cold dread consumed him as he waited for the really bad news Syn was obviously about to give him.
Syn didn’t speak again until they were alone. “They seriously screwed you up, little brother. But you
should
be able to have sex again. At least eventually, though there’s a fifty percent chance you might have chronic and severe pain with either an erection or ejaculation. Possibly both. And you have a seventy-five percent chance that you’ll have some erectile dysfunction.”
Oh yeah, there was something a guy wanted to hear.
Welcome back, Darling…
Why the hell was he still alive?
Syn took a deep breath and continued to make him feel even worse. “You’ll have to use stool softeners for the rest of your life, too. Any bowel movement is going to hurt like hell, and you are not going to want to ever allow yourself to be constipated. Hopefully, some of that pain will dull over time.”
He pressed his hand against Darling’s shoulder as if bracing
him for the next round of Let’s Make Darling’s Day Bright and Shiny. “As your doctor, I have to stringently advise you against any kind of anal sex ever again. It’s just not going to be worth the pain you’ll have from it. Never mind the risk of infection. And while we did reconstruct a lot of your intestine and rectum, there’s no telling what further damage any intrusion there might do to you.”
That had never been his problem, but Syn didn’t know that. Only Maris did.
Syn covered his hand and gave a light squeeze. “I should probably tell you that I’ve had you in a chemically induced coma for a little over four months now.”
Four months.
Shit… Darling’s heart thumped hard in his chest as that news slammed into him. Something that caused the monitor in the background to pick up tempo and start squealing. Syn stepped away to turn the volume down.
How long had he been out of things entirely?
Horror filled him as he realized he would have had another birthday during that time.
I’m a year older.
So was Drake.
Just how long had Lise been dead?
I missed her funeral.
Maybe that was for the best. Yet…
Why couldn’t they have killed me, too?
Why the hell was he still alive?
“Your family’s fine,” Syn said, completely unaware of the rising panic that was shredding him. “Nyk sent them to the Summer Palace the day after you were abducted so that your uncle wouldn’t suspect anything. As far as anyone knows, you were simply visiting your sister at school when the two of you were ambushed.”
At the mention of Lise, he choked on a sob.
“Take it easy, Darling.” Syn put his hand on his shoulder again to steady him. “Annalise isn’t dead. She lived, okay? She used her
powers to pretend to be dead in the hangar so that they would leave her alone. It was a bad injury, but she’s recovered from it now.”
Darling held his breath as that news echoed in his head.
Annalise was really alive? Could it be true? Dare he even hope?
He tried to speak, then choked again.
“Careful. Breathe slowly. Remember what I told you about speaking… And yes, I’m serious. Hold on.” Syn removed his hand from Darling’s shoulder.
After a few seconds, Darling heard a link buzzing.
“Hello?” It was Lise’s beautiful voice.
Tears stung his eyes as he whispered a silent prayer of gratitude. She
was
alive. Never in his life had anything meant more to him.
His precious Lisie lived…
“Hey, Annalise, it’s Syn. I have Darling with me. He’s finally awake. He can hear you, but he can’t speak. I need you to say something to him so that he knows you’re all right.” Syn moved the link closer to Darling’s ear.
“Sashi?” Lise sounded thrilled. “Hey, big shilo. I’m so glad you’re back, you had us worried sick, and you made me flunk
all
of my exams. I had to repeat the entire semester. Thanks a lot. I still love you though, and I’m so glad you’re still with me. Don’t
ever
scare me like this again. You hear me? I have to have my good brother around. The other two really suck.”
In spite of her chastising him, her voice was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I stayed with you for over a month.”
“I’m the one who told her to go back to school,” Syn said, interrupting her. “There was nothing she could do to help and once school started back, I knew you’d want her in class.”
He was right. Had he been conscious, Darling would have insisted on it.
“I’m on semester break right now,” Lise continued, “so I’ll come see you first thing in the morning. I promise. Even if I have to hijack something. I love you, Darling. Please get better soon.”
“Thanks, Lise,” Syn said. “Is your mother or brother around?”
“Drake isn’t. He left a little while ago for a date, but let me check on Momair.”
Unfortunately, Lise forgot to put the link on mute. He heard her walk from her room to their mother’s.
“Hey, Momair? Darling’s finally awake and he’s on the link. You want to say hi to him?”
His mother let out a long breath of frustration. “Can’t you see I’m busy, child? Really? He’s been unconscious for months now, I don’t think I need to rush to speak to him right this second, do you?”
“But—”
“Don’t interrupt me. Tell him that we’re all right, no thanks to him. Does he have any idea what he’s put you through? How much damage he caused you to suffer? The scars you now have on your back? It’s awful. Because of his puerile selfishness, you’ll be disfigured for the rest of your life. And for what? So that he could pretend to play hero and get abducted? He’s useless. I can’t believe I thought for one instant that he might actually be able to help us. I guess we’ll have to wait for Drake to get older. Maybe then things will get better.”
“Momair… please. We almost lost him. I think he’s suffered enough, okay?”
“Trust me, he doesn’t know what suffering is. He should have to live my life for five minutes. Then he’d learn a thing or two about pain. Now go. I just want a few seconds of peace. Thank you both so much for interrupting what little time I take for myself. Gah! Just when I’d found my tranquility. I swear, that boy can’t live unless he’s causing problems for other people.”
He heard Lise shut the door before she returned to speaking into the link. “Syn? Sorry that took so long. Momair can’t talk right now. She’s having a facial. She said to tell Darling that she hopes he gets better soon and to not worry about us. Just focus on getting back on his feet.”
How nice of her to lie…
“All right, Lise. Thanks.” Syn cut the channel.
Darling felt that stab from his mother all the way to his soul. But why was he surprised? Of course his mother couldn’t be interrupted to talk to him. A facial was a lot more important than her oldest son. What kind of fool was he to think otherwise?
Nothing had changed while he’d been out of commission. How nice of the gods to put his insignificance on display and highlight it so.
Except he now knew the truth of Zarya and her cold apathy. She was just like his mother, thinking only of herself.
Thank the gods I didn’t marry her.
That was the only blessing to come out of this hell. Had the Resistance not taken him prisoner, he’d have tied his life to that whore.
Still, it hurt. Her betrayal. Their torture. His mother’s condemnation. Lise’s disfigurement.
All of it.
He wished Syn had left him in a coma. Anything would have been better than this agony that ripped him apart when there was nothing he could do except remember what he’d been through and hate himself for it. He’d lost everything that was important to him. His dignity. His body. His heart.
His soul.
All he had left inside was hatred and rage. Deeper and nastier than it’d ever been. The only thing to live for now was the day that Syn healed him enough that he could exact the revenge he’d sworn himself to.
Tired, defeated, and soul sick, Zarya sat in the same tiny spartan cell she’d occupied for countless months now. It had four tan walls, a small sink, a toilet, and one pallet on the floor with no blanket or pillow. She had no idea what had happened to her Resistance members or to her sister—something that panicked her every time she thought about it.
Please let Sorche be okay…
She didn’t know what was going to happen to her, either. Not that it really mattered. She only wanted Sorche to be safe. Whatever happened to her, she’d deal with. She always had.
Over and over, she’d begged for someone to tell her something, anything, but no one would take mercy on her.
Not that she blamed them. Not after what she’d done.
While she hadn’t participated in Darling’s kidnapping or torture, she hadn’t stopped it. And that made her every bit as guilty as the others. She wasn’t about to sugarcoat the bitter truth. It wasn’t in her to shirk responsibility.
“We are all the masters of our own decisions. Right or wrong, Stupid or intelligent. Only
we
are to blame for our missteps and mistakes.”
Her father’s words haunted her. She’d turned a blind eye to Clarion while she’d searched relentlessly for the very man they’d held.
How stupid could one person be? How cruel were the fates?
Part of her wanted to blame Darling for it. Why hadn’t he told her his identity just one day sooner?
But she knew why. His fear the last time they’d been together had said it all.
“My greatest prayer is that my face doesn’t offend you so much that you forget your promise to me. I could never bear to be rejected by the only woman who has ever held my heart.”
And what had she done?
She’d spit on him. Literally and figuratively. When he’d needed
her the most, she’d been right there and done nothing to help save him from…
Her own people.
His
people.
Every time she thought about it, she wanted to vomit.
After all of her promises to him, she’d done the very thing he’d feared. Not because he was scarred.
Because he was a prince.
Sickeningly ironic. Most women dreamed of a prince to come and sweep them off their feet. She’d had one and she’d spurned him. He had promised her the world and she’d slapped him in the face.
She was ill from it all. Even more so because as a child, Darling had been her hero. Before the death of her mother and sister, before his father had been murdered, they had played together. Not often. But from time to time, whenever his father had visited hers, Darling would come with him. It was something she’d forgotten about completely over the years.
Until a dream a few weeks ago.