Born of Silence (44 page)

“My eldest brother Kyr tried to castrate him on my wedding day. Luckily, Darling’s a better fighter than Kyr is.”

Her heart breaking for both of them, she pulled Maris into her arms and held him close. “I’m so sorry for what both of you went through.”

Maris squeezed her lightly. “It’s all right, though. Really. While the rest of my family refuses to speak my name, I have the best brother anyone could ever ask for. One who isn’t afraid to let me be myself. One who wouldn’t hesitate to die for me. In the end, I’m the luckiest bitch in the universe.”

He stepped back to smile down at her. “Well, second luckiest. Personally, I think you have the number one slot. Want to trade?”

She laughed. “I love you, Mari. I really do. You’re such a special gem.”

Maris sighed wistfully. “If only you were a gorgeous man saying that to me, sweetie. Oh well… one day.” He sobered. “I love you, too, Zarya. Thank you for saving him today.”

“Team effort,” she reminded him.

He shook his head at her. “You have a hard time accepting praise, don’t you?”

“It makes me really uncomfortable.”

“All right, then. You suck. Now, I’m going to check on Ryn to see if he needs anything while he deals with the firestorm over this.”

Smiling, Zarya watched him leave. She really did love that man. But what she felt for him was nothing compared to what her heart held for Darling.

And she’d almost lost him today…

Worse,
she
was the biggest threat he had to his well-being and reign. Closing her eyes, she kept trying to blot out the image of the e-mail they’d received after his attack.

We are the Resistance and you are holding one of ours. There will be no peace and no quarter so long as you have her. Release Zarya Starska or we will burn the palace to the ground and destroy every aristo we find.

Protests had been breaking out steadily since the attack. Even now, there was a group of rabid protestors at the palace gates.

Because of her.

I have to leave him.
In spite of what Maris said, and in spite of the pain it would cause her, she couldn’t stay here.

For the sake of Darling’s life, she would have to go. She knew it
deep in her heart. But knowing what needed to be done and doing it when you didn’t want to were two different things.

I don’t want to go.
She remembered how desolate she’d felt when Darling had gone missing. Remembered the nights of feeling lost and vacant. She didn’t want to go through that again.

But if she didn’t, he’d be dead, and then she would never be able to see him. Period.

I’ll either have to live a life without him in it, knowing he’s alive and well. Or live a life where he’s dead.

Either way, she lost. There was no choice.

Somehow she was going to have to find the strength to break his heart.

And ruin the rest of her life.

14

“What the hell are you doing here? And dressed like
that
!”

Zarya jumped at the strident tone that startled her out of her thoughts. Not just because it was so angry, but because it came from the last person she expected to burst into her bedroom.

“Sorche? What are
you
doing here? Who let you in?” Unless Maris gave clearance, no one was supposed to be allowed into the governor’s private wing without a full escort.

Her sister didn’t answer. Instead, she rushed across the room to take her by the arm. Sorche pulled her toward the hallway door. “Look, there aren’t any guards outside. I think we can make it out before anyone realizes you’re gone.”

Unsure if she should laugh or be insulted, Zarya gaped at her. “What are you talking about?”

Sorche lowered her voice to a tiny whisper. “I saw the news, okay? I know he’s holding you against your will, and—”

Zarya refused to let her sister haul her across the room. She twisted her arm out of Sorche’s grasp. “It’s not against my will.”

Sorche cocked her head. “The UCN said that he had mind control over you. Do you know who I am?”

Zarya gave her a droll stare. “My annoying little sister who
has driven me insane since the moment she came into this world and threw up all over my favorite dress.” She placed her hands on Sorche’s shoulders and met her gaze levelly so that she could see Zarya was in full possession of her own mind. “I am here by choice, Sorche. That’s why I don’t have guards. I’m free to leave anytime I want to. I have the money and the means to leave.”

“Then why are you here?” Fear sparked in her brown eyes. When she spoke again, her voice was barely audible. “You’re going to kill the governor, aren’t you?”

“No.” Biting her lip, Zarya debated telling her sister the truth. While Sorche was extremely loyal, she could also be scattered, and extremely stupid at times. “I’m going to tell you something, but you have to swear on our mother’s soul that you will never, ever breathe a syllable of it to another living being.”

“Even Ture?”

“Even Ture.”

Sorche considered it for a few heartbeats. “Then it has to be good. Spill it.”

“Swear first.”

Sorche nodded eagerly. “Okay, I swear it.”

Now Zarya understood why Maris had hesitated with her. It was hard to let go of a confidence when you knew it would destroy the person you loved most if anyone else heard it. And while she trusted her sister, she was still afraid that by talking about this, she might do Darling harm.

But in the end, she knew she had to tell her sister the truth. Sorche wouldn’t accept anything else. So taking a deep breath, she forced the words out. “Darling is Kere.”

Sorche gaped at her disclosure. For several seconds, all she did was blink until she finally gasped, “
Your
fiancé Kere?”

“The one and the same.”

“The Sentella Kere who is wanted dead by the League and—”

Zarya placed her hand over Sorche’s mouth to keep her from carrying on. “You can’t speak of this, Sorch. To anyone but me. Ever. Do you understand?” It would mean Darling’s life if she did.

Sorche nodded, then pulled Zarya’s hand from her lips. Her gaze danced around the room as she came to grips with the truth as to why Zarya was still here. “So where were you for the last year? Honestly?”

She didn’t want to answer that, but she’d never liked lying to her sister either. “I was imprisoned.” She didn’t tell Sorche where because she didn’t want her sister to hate Darling for it.

“I knew it!” Sorche grabbed her arm again. “I’m getting you out of here.”

“Stop it!” Zarya snapped at her. “I can’t leave him until I know he’s going to live, okay?”

Sorche finally calmed down. “You really do love him, don’t you?”

“More than my life.”

Her sister rubbed Zarya’s arm, offering her comfort. “All right, but I’m not going anywhere until I know
you’re
okay. You hear me? While you might love him, I definitely love you.”

She smiled at her sister’s unnecessary concern. “All right. Now how did you get up here?”

“It wasn’t easy at first. This obnoxious doorman was interrogating me. Thoroughly. Then this odd guy, dressed in an outlandish orange getup dismissed him and asked who I was and why I wanted to see you.”

“Maris?”

“Yeah. He’s… different, isn’t he?”

Zarya laughed. “A little. So he showed you up?”

“Yeah.” Sorche swept a curious gaze from the top of Zarya’s head to her feet. “Now explain your clothes. I’ve
never
seen you in a dress before.”

Zarya shook her head as she looked down at the filmy, light blue dress she wore. It flowed around her in a whisper of silk—to quote Maris. Sorche was right, it wasn’t her usual style of a dark battlesuit. “It’s called a day gown.”

“Day gown?” Sorche pulled at the lightweight silk outer skirt. “I bet this thing cost more than a year’s tuition.”

Funny, Zarya had never put it in those terms before. Now she felt guilty for enjoying it. People were hungry and here she was, dressed up for no reason whatsoever.

Sorche sucked her breath in sharply. “I’m sorry, Zarya. I didn’t mean to ruin it for you. Please smile again. You look beautiful in it. You do and it’s about time you wore something really nice. I’m just not used to seeing you dressed like this. That’s all.”

She hugged her sister. “It’s fine. Now let me find Gera and get you settled in one of the rooms.”

Sorche hesitated. “You sure I can’t kidnap you?”

She cringed at those words. But most of all, she cringed at the idea of leaving Darling. Ever.

You have to.
No matter how much she loved him, she couldn’t stay and endanger him. “Once I know he’s going to live, I’ll let you take me home.”

Fearing he was blind—and would remain so—Darling opened his eyes slowly. As he blinked, the world came into focus. Not perfect, but it was back to what it’d been before his attack.

He breathed a sigh in relief.

Thank the gods…

Who knew you could be so grateful for a hazy view of the world? But he’d take fuzzy over nothing any day.

He lay on his back with a weight draped over his chest. Glancing down, he smiled as he saw Zarya sound asleep there with her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug. Now
that
had to be the
most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. And it instantly set fire to his blood for many reasons.

Grateful to and for her, he brushed his fingers through her soft, mahogany hair.

She’d saved his life.

His head was still throbbing and much of what had happened was foggy, but one memory was crystal clear. The sound of her angry voice over the roar of the flames around him.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Darling Cruel! I swear I’ll follow you into hell to beat you if you do!”

He was a psycho bastard to have that mean so much to him. But it meant everything.

She really did love him.

And the truth was, he loved her, too. More than he could believe. More than he could stand at times.

For her, he would do anything.

So why did it have to hurt so much? Be so
damned
hard?

Because people let each other down. Always. No matter how much they love each other, someone always screws up.

And the more you love them, the deeper it stings…

It was a natural state of being. No one could ever live up to the expectations of someone else. Sooner or later, everyone failed and he was too tired of being disappointed to keep up the pretense that he wasn’t.

She didn’t disappoint you in this.

No, but it still didn’t erase the past when she had, and in a much bigger way.

Why couldn’t you have opened the door then, Z?

As bad as the fire had been, it was nothing compared to the months of hell her people had put him through.

Her actions today didn’t ease that part of him.
You’re not perfect yourself, you know?

True. He’d done his own share of hurt where she was concerned. And she’d forgiven him for it, so why couldn’t he do the same for her?