“
I mean soon. As soon as we can. I feel so….”
His smile faded but the frown remained. “So… what?”
“
Chased,” she decided. “I feel like I’m being chased by something awful. Something I can’t see or control. I feel like I have to fight back or it’ll catch me.”
Sam pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her so tightly she could barely breathe, but the comfort he offered brought tears to her eyes.
She was just so afraid something else would go wrong and she’d find herself alone, unemployed and homeless with a small child to care for. She wanted some stability in her life.
“
Hey,” he said softly, “I want to marry you. I really do. I love you, Jen. And I love Ethan. We’ll be a family soon. But if we don’t do it right, you’ll regret it. You’re just scared because so many things have changed for you lately. But you’re not alone anymore. I’m here. I’ll be here. I promise.”
She knew he was right, she was probably reacting to all the changes she’d experienced lately, but at the same time, she knew what she wanted.
The truth was she loved him so much she wanted to spend her life with him. And she wanted to make sure he felt the same way, that he wanted to be with her, and was willing to prove it with wedding vows. A part of her still worried he might change his mind and leave again. But Sam was right. That wasn’t a good reason to rush into marriage.
“
I want to do it before Bri leaves for college,” she said, leaning back. “At Jack’s house.”
“
Our house,” Sam interrupted.
She gave in and nodded. “At our house. At night, under the lights. By the pond. I thought how beautiful that would be.”
Sam smiled and nodded. “That’s a great idea, baby. We’ll do that.”
“
Is it weird to get married at night?”
Sam turned his horse so she joined him walking the horses back toward the stables. “Whenever and wherever you want is the right way to do it.
Butterflies in her stomach started fluttering, but this time with excitement and she forgot all about her fears of the future. Instead, she let herself imagine getting the one thing she’d wanted more than anything for the past ten years. A life with the man she loved.
She looked at Sam and he was standing there watching her with an expression she couldn’t interpret. He began to stroke her hair again, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes.
He left her to mount his horse. “Race you back,” he said. “Let’s see what you can really do.”
She hurried to climb back in the saddle, urging Red Bird on before Sam could get the jump on her. “You’re on.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
As far as Sam was concerned, the day had been a success. Jenna seemed to be settling in well with the family and had made fast friends with Crystal, in particular. They both sat on the sofa in the living room, each holding someone else’s child, chatting, while everyone lazed around after the feast Marna and Mirabelle had put together. A few of his aunts, uncles and cousins from his dad’s side had dropped by, along with his brothers, Boone and Mike, to meet Jenna and Ethan. It had turned into an impromptu family gathering.
The younger kids, including Ethan, were in the adjacent playroom having fun. The older kids were in the backyard swimming and hanging out.
Sam stood near the row of windows overlooking the pool shooting the breeze with his brothers and cousins. He nursed a beer as he took in the scene, barely able to believe he’d once contemplated giving all this up to live by himself on the ranch. He’d called Buck about taking over the ranch and even over the phone, and even though Buck was the strong, silent type, Sam could sense the excitement and relief in Buck’s voice.
Buck, much like his mother, had never considered Sam a real cowboy. Sam knew horses, but he’d never worked a ranch. Buck and his granddad had had to teach him almost everything, and the first year he’d felt like an alien, barely understanding the language in that strange land. He’d muddled through, and kept a smile on his face, because he’d believed he was doing the right thing, helping out his granddad. But he hadn’t been exactly happy. He simply hadn’t realized it until now, when he finally knew what true happiness felt like.
His Uncle Tad came over to give him an update. “We’ve been following Stewart around,” he said, checking to make sure no one else was listening. “That guy… man, he’s a weird one. He follows you and Jenna everywhere. He switches vehicles from time to time but he’s not hard to keep track of. I have some stats and photos to give you. Nothing interesting on him but his family’s got their fingers in a lot of pies. He’s definitely obsessed. I’ve got my boy Foster on him, too. He just called to say Stewart was checking out Jack’s house earlier and he just drove by the entrance here. I’m not sure what he has planned. He doesn’t have a job so I think he’s got nothing better to do.” He gave Sam a pat on the arm. “We’re on the job but keep your eyes open.”
Sam glanced in the general direction of the driveway leading up to the house, his face heating. “He’s out there right now?”
“
Hang on,” Tad said, taking out his phone. He strolled away, talking, and then turned back. “He just pulled up at that bar, Sidecar, so I think he’s given up for the night. We’ll keep watch.”
That, at least, made Sam feel a little better. “Thanks, bud.”
Tad smiled as he turned away. “You’ll get my bill.”
Sam’s mother came over to pull him aside to speak privately. “I feel so awful,” she said, giving his arm a squeeze. “Please tell me you didn’t say anything to her.”
“
About what?”
She widened her eyes at him and gave him a light slap on the arm. “The things I said about her mother. I was just upset. I think Jenna’s really sweet. I really do. And I don’t want her to know I was acting like a you-know-what.”
Sam chuckled and gave her a hug. “You’re in the clear. Don’t worry about it.”
They both looked at Jenna, who was bobbing Crystal’s baby on her knees and making funny faces at the child who was laughing in response.
“
You did good,” his mother said, giving him another pat on the arm as she walked away, this one a pat of approval.
Sam went over and sat down next to Jenna. He took the baby from her when Ethan came in, saw his mother holding another child, and tried to force his way onto her lap instead.
Then when he saw Sam holding the baby, Ethan crawled over wanting to sit in his lap. Sunny, chuckling, came over and took Crystal’s baby.
Ethan climbed off Sam’s lap and followed his grandmother as she walked away.
“
Think he’s jealous of the baby or likes the baby?” Sam asked.
Jenna shrugged. “Who knows? He loves being around his family. That much I do know.”
Crystal, probably feeling like a third wheel, went over to a group of women to join in.
Jenna snuggled up against him. “Did you grow up here?”
“
Yep. This is home.”
She laughed softly, glancing around. “This living room is like a hotel lobby. And you complain that my house is big.”
He couldn’t really think of an answer. It wasn’t so much that her house was big but that her house was cold and sterile. His parents’ house had a warm, cabin feel to it, despite the size, and he was used to it. “It gets bigger every year. Mom gets bored.”
Jenna sat forward suddenly. “Show me your room.”
“
You wanna see my room?”
She stood and held out her hand. “I want to see where you grew up. I always wondered.”
He showed her his room, which was now just a guest room. The only real remnants of his childhood was a trophy case full of his various high school awards and a few pictures from those days his mother had framed and hung on the walls.
Jenna strolled around, examined his trophies and the pictures, sat on the bed for a moment, then stood and went to look out one of the windows. In the darkness, the lights in the stables were the only view. “Is this what you saw every day?”
He joined her at the window. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
He wrapped his arms around her as she stared out in silence.
“
I talked to your uncle before dinner,” she said.
“
Which one?”
“
Tad? He said you hired him to investigate Brandon.”
Yeah, and he wasn’t about to apologize for that. “I wanted to know who we were dealing with.”
He felt her tense then take a deep breath. “At least now I know why he hates me. My dad had an affair with his mother. It caused his parents to get a divorce.”
Considering everything he’d heard about her father, Sam wasn’t surprised. “And Brandon blames you for that?”
“
Not just for that,” she said. “I always thought Tammy Stewart was his mother, but she was his stepmother. He and his sister, Ally, are half-siblings. His real mother and his dad divorced in 1991, when he was about five. She lost custody of him so she kidnapped him, went to Honolulu, checked into a hotel room and overdosed on sleeping pills.”
Now he was the one to tense up. “Dang. She killed herself? With Brandon there?”
“
I guess he blames me for that.”
“
He’s crazy, honey,” Sam assured her. And he wasn’t surprised after hearing what had happened to the guy. “It’s terrible. It’s tragic. But it had nothing to do with you.”
She nodded and continued to stare out the window. “I can’t believe my dad would cheat on my mom. I wonder if she knew.”
He turned her around, hoping to change her mood. “That’s all in the past, hon. It doesn’t do any good to worry about it now.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. “Every day I hear something worse about my father. I heard rumors he was about to be impeached. I heard he was stealing from the city. How could he have been so… horrible?”
Sam didn’t know what to say. He’d heard the same rumors just that evening from various family members who’d been asking around about Jenna and her family. “You can’t blame yourself for his mistakes. Give yourself a break. Let’s go home and relax. It’s been a busy day.”
But she didn’t let go and in fact tightened her grip on him. “I’m his daughter. What does that make me?”
He stroked her hair, hoping to calm her down. “The same wonderful, beautiful, sweet and caring woman I love. And you’re a great mom, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She leaned back and smiled, palely, but the sadness didn’t leave her eyes.
“
Hey, wait a minute.” He backed away, prying her arms from his neck. He knew if he didn’t do something fast she’d start blaming herself for things that had happened to other people twenty years ago. She’d start questioning her own parenting skills. “Stay here a minute, I’ll be right back.”
***
Jenna strolled the room again while she waited, then lay on his bed, imagining Sam sleeping there all those years ago while she lay in her own bed across town dreaming about him. She didn’t want to think of which girl Sam had been dreaming about at the same time.
Noticing a particular photo on the wall, she got up for a better look. The picture was of Sam and his siblings as children posing in a studio setting. Sam was about Ethan’s age, sitting in the middle, grinning happily. His hair had been blond then and the resemblance to her son was striking. She could see it now.
When Sam returned, she handed him the photo as he sat down. “Look at this. You and Ethan could have been twins.”
He smiled at the picture then set it aside. “That’s what my mom said.” He held out a long, blue velvet box. “I was supposed to give this to you on our wedding day, but since the ring is taking so long, I wanted to give you something.”
Startled, Jenna took the box and opened it. Inside was the most beautiful bracelet she’d ever seen. Sam lifted out the string of alternating diamonds and pale blue stones and fitted it around her wrist.
She held up her hand and the stones sparkled in the light. “Are these real diamonds?”
“
Real as they get. I don’t know what the blue stones are, but it goes with the ring. This was my grandmother’s, apparently. Now it’s yours.”
She couldn’t stop turning her wrist, staring at the glistening stones. No one had ever given her jewelry before and suddenly, oddly, everything seemed real – the engagement, the reality of she, Ethan and Sam as a family, and especially, Sam’s promise to stay and spend his life with her.
“
Do you like it?” he asked.
She turned and pushed him back on the bed. “Are you kidding? It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
She ran her hands over his hard body, instantly aroused by his irresistible muscles, and the feel of his warm flesh, but further excited at the notion of lying with him on the same bed he’d slept in every night as she’d lain staring at his football picture, dreaming of him, wishing she were with him, right here in this very bed. Her dream was coming true.
Sam started out kissing her slowly, letting his hands explore her clothed body, but with a jolt, they both seemed to experience at once, things heated up fast.