Boxed Set:Taming the Rocker - Vol. 1-5 (11 page)

“It was a while ago, Lila. I wasn’t dating anyone at the time. She was the one who came onto me. She was a groupie at one of my concerts.” His tone had a defeated quality that tore at me.

“Oh, that’s not all, Chase. You’re leaving out the best parts.” She tapped a finger as if counting events off. “I cheated on my husband with you when I was out in Seattle. We met each other again down here too.” She tapped another finger and paused. “I feel like you should tell her about the other parts because they are
so
juicy,” she cooed. She was getting off on this. I wanted to knock that smug grin off her damn face.

Chase nervously looked at me and thrust a hand in his hair. Anguish crossed his face. I had never seen him like this. Then again, I never thought I would have to see or hear anything like this. I never imagined a conversation involving his
brother’s wife
.

“Okay…look.” He dragged a hand over his face and rushed on, “After I came back from a tour, we met up again and had an affair. Tristan found out. He was mad for a while.” A pained expression flooded his face, but he pushed on, “Then we had a ménage a trois together. After that, we had a steady relationship for a while. Tristan was involved…sometimes.” He sighed and started again. “We continued without him too. She went out with me and we…” He visibly tensed. “Tristan had a place…a dungeon in his basement. We used it.” With a defeated shrug, he blurted out, “I had a bad history of stealing Tristan’s girlfriends and having threesomes.”

I stared at him.
This can’t be happening!
I felt sick.
Chase fucked this woman? His brother’s wife? And his brother was involved? He stole girlfriends…why? Why would he be such a douche?
I mean…he was hot as fuck.
And to fuck HER?
She looked haggard. It was obvious that she’d been pretty but…

I thought I would go crazy. Stress and betrayal shot my reasoning.
I can’t stay here.
My hands searched my hip for my phone. I couldn’t remember where it was.

Ava turned to him with an expectant expression. Chase looked numb as he admitted, “I did tell her that I loved her. She
was
the first woman that I loved. She said…she didn’t love me back. I was pretty fucked up over it. I left for my tour in Australia without her. Then, I met you. She might have broken my heart, Lila, but you made me whole again. I am a better man with you and love you more, have felt love more with you than in the entire time I knew her. Please believe me, Lila.” His pleading tone was so sincere.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt so betrayed. I had caught the love of my life kissing a former love that was married and, in turn, cheating on his brother.
And with his brother.
I almost gagged. I felt as if life had cheated me. There was no way I could forgive him. He had just admitted to a threesome with his brother who shared his wife. My brain tried to process it, but I just couldn’t.

What kind of fucked-up shit is this? It has to be a nightmare. Forgiveness? I’d never be okay with all this…

“Does Tristan know that you almost stole her away from him?” I didn’t even know that I was going to ask the question. He hung his head in shame.

“No. I kept that from him. I didn’t want to hurt him,” he replied.

“Well…you certainly hurt me,” He seemed to deflate at the dead finality in my tone 

I spun around and walked out. Ava’s laughter followed me before her voice stopped me about halfway down the hall.

“See…you don’t need that little college slut. She’s not good enough for you. Or maybe she’s too good for you, I don’t know. You should consider my offer. Tristan and I are finished.” Her seductive purr made my stomach roll.

I was so hurt. I didn’t know what to think of him or myself.
He cheated. And
with a worn-out slut like her
. Not only that, he had a twisted past with her and his own brother. It rolled in my head like cancer. It was gross and sickening. I couldn’t handle this anymore. I had to get the hell out of there. I told myself that I would feel better if I never had to see him again.

I went down to the front of the house. His mother could tell that something was wrong, even though I tried to feign happiness. I couldn’t hold back tears. I was so damn hurt. She started to go after me, but I rushed outside. I walked down the street and pulled my phone out to call my dad. My phone had been buried in my pocket the whole time. I had my dad’s credit card on me. I would use that to get home.

“Hey, Dad. It’s me. Just wanted to let you know that you were right. I didn’t pick the right guy. I’m heading home now. I’m going back to school.” I ended the call and my shoulders slumped. I heard the sound of footsteps coming after me. When I turned, Chase was approaching me at a jog. He had my bag in his hand and a sad expression on his face.

I couldn’t hold back as tears welled in my eyes. “I trusted you. I thought you were the perfect guy. I really loved you.”

“I know, Lila. I am the perfect guy for you. Please believe me. I love you too.”

As much as I wanted to believe him, I couldn’t. I took my bags from him and turned to walk down the road. I thought of calling a cab, but dialed the airport instead. I booked the flight and hung up. I was too numb to call a cab. Besides, it felt good to walk.

When I got to the airport, I went through the motions in a daze. Everything was checked in and I boarded the flight. I couldn’t quit shaking on the plane. The flight attendant tucked a blanket around me and asked if I was okay. I dumbly nodded, but didn’t even look at her. I knew I was in shock. My brain was too numb to think.

              My dad was happy that I was back on the right track. He pretended that my ending it with Chase was a shame. I didn’t need his fucking pity. I didn’t bother replying and he left me alone after giving me a
There-There
attitude. Nothing had changed with him. I really didn’t care anymore. I tried to think about graduate school, but my mind felt dead. The only thing I knew for sure was that I would never set foot in Texas again.

Chase

That fucking bitch! 

After Lila walked off, I thought of running after her. I knew shit was seriously fucked though. I could see on her face. She was extremely hurt and I don’t know how to fix it. Instead, I went back into the house and straight to Ava. She sat on the lounge chair with a smug little grin. I looked at her with a dark glare.

“What the fuck!? You ruined my relationship!” I screamed at her. 

Tristan came around the corner and glanced from her to me. The worry on his face told me right away that he knew what had happened. He cursed as he glanced back at me and then out the window. I could tell by his body language that he felt some of my pain. When his angry gaze landed back on Ava, I had a feeling that she’d loved telling him all the gory details of our affair too.

“I’m just trying to help you, Chase. You need a
woman
, not some little spineless skank. Besides, do you
really
think that she loved you that much? After all, she just left.” I didn’t think I’d ever met such a cold bitch.

“Yes! I do think she loves me and I’ve never loved a woman that much. You cannot begin to understand what was between us. That was messed up, thanks to you. By the way, you can go fuck yourself. I never want to see your ugly fucking face again. You’re nothing but a washed-up skank,” I shouted at her. 

Before she could reply, I stormed upstairs and grabbed my bags. I had to get as far away from her as I could or I thought I might just kill her. I was completely enraged, alone, and lost. I already missed Lila. I literally felt hollow and numb.

My parents knocked on the bedroom door, but I ignored them. My mother begged me to talk to her, but I didn’t listen. I tried to call and text Lila. She was either not responding, blocking my calls, or already on the plane. After the tenth time, I threw my phone up against the wall and watched it hit the floor. I couldn’t think anymore. I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Without Lila, what’s the purpose of anything?

I felt completely shattered. Nothing in my life had prepared me for this. I knew I had to make this right. I had to get rid of this pain first.
How?
The answer to that was in a bottle. I prepared to go out and get slammed.

My phone rang. I noticed the cracked screen when I picked it up, but ignored it. My heart sank when I saw that it was my manager instead of Lila. I answered it even though I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

“Hello?”

“Chase, listen…we got a deal to go out to Germany this week. I was wondering if you wanted to do that. The other band members are free. I know you have Lila at your house so I wanted to make sure you’re okay with it before I make the plans.”

I thought about it for a second. I knew that I had to just accept that Lila wasn’t going to call me, text, or come back. She needed space. I had to give that to her. Plus, I needed time to figure out how to get her back.

“Sure, man. Sounds good,” I replied.

“Awesome. We’ll all meet you in Houston on Monday,” he said.

I looked at the calendar. I had three more days in this hell. There was no way I could stay here. This state brought back too much crap that I just needed to let go.

“No. I’ll meet you all in LA tomorrow. I’m willing to start the tour early. I kind of had some shit happen. Lila won’t be with me. I’ll leave now.”

“Oh…alright. We’ll see you tomorrow morning then.”

I clicked off the phone and checked my texts to make sure that she didn’t try to reach me while I was on the phone. Sadly not, so I just turned it off and put it away. I curled up on the bed and thought about what the hell to do next. I had no one. I was numb. It felt like a huge void was opening inside me like never before. I tried to fall asleep. Memories of Lila wouldn’t let me. I had to get her back. It felt impossible.

“Damn, I fucked up,” I murmured to myself.

Tears welled in my eyes. I’d always considered myself pretty tough. Life was too fucked-up without her. I couldn’t even imagine it. One thought cut through the pain
I have to become the bad boy again. Fuck the world until I get her back.

For the first time in my life, I cried myself to sleep.

Lila

I went back to Chicago. I decided to stay in the area for a while and hang out while I prepared for law school. I found out that Alec decided not to go to Harvard. He stayed local too. I didn’t know why and didn’t care. I needed some space to figure out what I was going to do next. It was a bit scary. I had my whole life ahead of me. No plans and really no motivation to plan anything. I just hurt. I had thought love would carry me through with Chase. It had been such a complete and utter lie. I hated that I bought into the bullshit. It made me sick to my stomach. I tried not to think that way. I needed something but couldn’t figure out what to do. I had to avoid all of the past. That’s the only thing I could think to do.

When I first arrived back, I immediately checked my phone. Chase had texted me at least three times. He called about seven times. He had also left voicemails, but I quickly deleted them before I was tempted to listen or read anything. He was now a waste of my time. I hoped that he wasted away somewhere. I didn’t want to think about him anymore. I needed to get him out of my life. I forced myself to consider him as a gross monster who wanted nothing more than sex and mind games

I needed no one. That was my new attitude. What I needed was space, time to think, time to pick myself up. That was what mattered. I realized that I should have listened to my Dad. In the end, I just got fucked over. It was a hard pill to swallow. I told my father about my recognition. He was understanding…despite being a little condescending.

He told me to focus on my studies for now. I had law school to attend. There was no way in hell I was going to get distracted this time. I
had
to stay focused. I tried to think about anything else besides Chase. It was so hard at times. He continued to text and call. I didn’t turn my phone on most of the time. When I did, I quickly deleted everything and then I cried and beat my pillow up.

But…I won the battle.

It took about three weeks before the calls and texts from him ended. He fucked up and he should’ve known better than to do that. He lost me for good. I would not turn back. I now knew men like him thought with their cock. They weren’t capable of real love. As much as I missed him and wanted to forgive him, there was no way in hell that I would.

School was boring, but that was the protocol these days. I didn’t go to have fun. I attended for a purpose. I wanted to make my father proud and happy. That was all I had left. I knew he would be happy as a clam when it came to me attending grad school. He wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore. Instead, he would brag to the rest of the world that he had an amazing daughter. 

As much as I would love to be happy with that that, I wasn’t. I didn’t want grad school. I just wanted some peace…a little bit of fucking closure. I simply wanted to be alone. At this point, I don’t even know if that was physically possible. It seemed like my father was hell-bent on making sure that I did whatever he said. He had me under his thumb again and wasn’t letting up. I realized that I would be stuck like that forever if I didn’t do something. But there was nothing I could do now. I had fucked up so royally that my price was my current hell, lest I lash out at him and lose everything else that I knew and loved.