Authors: Keary Taylor
It was almost completely dark outside by the time we made our way back to the cars, each bogged down with too many bags. I had offered to carry a few of Emily’s as I had not gotten near the amount she had and so I helped her load them into her tiny car.
“Thanks,” she huffed as she closed the back hatch.
When she turned back to face me her face was suddenly very serious and very out of place considering the day we just spent. “We need to talk,” she said, her tone very matter-of-fact.
“We’ve been talking all day. Is everything ok?” I asked, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.
“I need to talk to you, now,” she said, her tone far too serious. “You aren’t going to be sleeping tonight, are you?” I froze suddenly and felt a little light headed. How could she know to ask a question like that? “What are you talking about?”
Emily didn’t say anything as she turned her back to me. She gathered her hair in one hand, lifting it clear of her neck.
My heart stopped for a moment and the world fell eerily silent as the all too familiar scar on the back of Emily’s neck came into painful view.
I didn’t remember Emily turning back around to face me nor did I remember the bags in my hands falling to the ground at my feet. I did however remember the not so gentle pats Emily gave me on either side of the face. Her eyes suddenly came back into view as the world started to focus again.
“We need to talk,” she said simply again.
I think I nodded as Emily guided me back to the truck, grabbing my bags from off the ground and placing them in the back seat.
“Can you drive? I was thinking we could go back to your place and talk tonight.”
It took me a moment to realize I wasn’t breathing. As I took a sudden gasping breath the world came into sharper focus and my head cleared a little, though what I had just seen still wasn’t making the slightest sense.
“Ya, I think so,” I said as my brow creased and I gave Emily a good hard look, reassessing everything I had ever learned or thought about her.
“Okay,” she said, her own brow creased as she nodded. She seemed to be gauging if I was telling the truth about my state of mind. “I’ll follow you there.” I could only nod as I watched her slide into her car.
Numbly, I climbed into the truck.
The drive home seemed to flash by in an instant as I tried to make my mind comprehend what this meant. I couldn’t make sense of any of it. The image of the X
branded into the back of Emily’s neck wouldn’t leave my thoughts though.
I parked the truck in the garage and walked up the slight hill to the road as Emily parked her car on the narrow shoulder.
“I’ll be back in just a second,” I said as I approached cautiously. “I’ve got to check on something really quick.
You can go ahead and go in. It’s unlocked.” She gave me a long hard look as if trying to decide if I was going to suddenly run off and never come back. “I’ll wait for you inside,” she finally said before walking toward the house.
All the lights were off inside and I wondered briefly if Sal might be asleep. That would be very out of character.
Sal was a night owl; it was rare she went to bed before midnight. I tried to make out any signs of life but it was too dark. I searched along the wall by the door and quickly found the light switch.
Sal was laying on the couch and I silently wondered how she could possibly sleep in the position she was in. She looked so uncomfortable. I crossed the room to try and rearrange her if not make her move into her bed.
I was about half way across the room when the orange bottle of pills came into view. I crossed to her side in two long bounds.
“Sal?” I nearly screamed as I shook her violently.
She remained as still as she had been when I first saw her.
“Sal!”
The bottle of pills looked as if they had fallen from her hand just before she crashed onto the couch, only a few of them seemed to be left to scatter across the floor.
“Sal!” I screamed again as I pushed her onto her side and felt around for a pulse. It took me a moment but I finally found it. I timed it to the clock that hung above her sink; it was very faint and barely detectable.
“What did you do?” I muttered as I stumbled across the room to the phone.
My fingers shook violently as I dialed the three numbers.
“911, what is your emergency?”
“There is a woman unconscious here,” I tried to keep my voice even as I spoke. “It looks like she’s overdosed.” I tried to keep my head clear as I followed her few instructions and gave her the address.
“An ambulance will be there in just a moment,” the woman’s voice said comfortingly.
“Thank you,” I managed as the first of the tears escaped down my face.
It seemed to take an eternity for the ambulance to arrive though it could not have been more than a few minutes. As soon as I heard the wailing I ran to the front door to let them in.
They asked only a few questions as they loaded Sal onto a stretcher. I barely heard them tell me that they were taking her to Saint Joseph’s Hospital as I thought how fragile and helpless Sal looked, laying completely limp there.
As I followed the paramedics into the driveway, I noticed several of the neighbors as well as Emily were standing on their front steps, looking to see what all the noise and flashing lights were about. I suddenly felt slightly hostile and wanted to shout at all of them to go back in their houses. Sal didn’t need any more judgments being placed on her. Everyone thought she was insane enough; they didn’t need to see this.
I walked swiftly back to Emily’s side as the sirens wailed away.
“I’m guessing you need to go then?” she said as she followed me to the still open garage.
“Ya,” I said as I dug the keys out of my purse with shaky hands. “Um…” I struggled with words to say as I looked back up at her.
“I’ll stay here,” she said with surety in her voice. I was grateful for her ability to think clearly when I couldn’t.
“I’m sure you could use some moral support when you get back. That is if you want me to stay around. Though we do need to talk.”
I could only nod as I wiped a single tear away.
“Hey,” she cooed as she wrapped her arms around me.
“I wish I could say everything is going to be okay but I don’t exactly know. You can handle this though. Go be with your friend.”
“Thanks,” I whispered as I stepped away from her. I didn’t wait for her to say anything more as I opened the truck door and climbed in.
Despite the fact that I had gotten some sleep last night, I felt drained as I got to the freeway. Too much had happened since then that didn’t make any sense. First the council changing for the first time ever, then Emily showing me the brand on the back of her neck. I still couldn’t understand what that meant exactly. And now Sal.
That was as strange as the rest of it all somehow, even though it should seem, well not normal, but well, at least not supernatural. Sal might have been slightly crazy but she wasn’t suicidal. She had her times when she was completely out of touch with reality, but there were times when she was with it that she appeared content and happy. She understood what it meant for her to now be freed from her ex-husband and she absolutely appreciated that. So for her to try and kill herself like that made no sense.
I found the hospital with no trouble. I had been taken there once, just after I crashed my car into that ravine. I had, of course, come out of it unscratched. Not a bone in my body had been broken; I had never had one or any other sort of cut or even a bruise in my life. The paramedics still insisted on checking me out.
The emergency waiting room was surprisingly quiet when I arrived. There was only one other man waiting inside.
The woman at the counter was friendly and answered my questions kindly. She said that the doctor would probably come out soon to talk with me when I told him Sal didn’t have any family that I knew of. I was appreciative of her patience, especially considering the environment she worked in.
I sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs that lined the wall, sitting as far across the room from the other man as possible. I suddenly wished that I had asked Emily to come with me. She was so level and clear headed it would have been nice to have her with me.
I waited for almost an hour, and asked the nurse twice if she had heard anything before the doctor finally came out to talk to me. He introduced himself as Dr. Ostler and I hesitantly asked if I could see Sal and he ushered me into a tiny private room.
The tears welled in my eyes and threatened to spill over as I saw Sal lying unconscious in her bed. They had changed her into a nightgown that drowned her tiny form.
Tubes were stuck in her nose, a few were coming out of her arm, and I could see traces of black smudges around her mouth from when they pumped her stomach.
“You told the nurse Sal doesn’t have any family that you know of?” Dr. Ostler asked kindly.
I nodded my head, not entirely trusting my voice.
“And can I ask what your relationship is to Miss Thomas?”
“I’m her neighbor,” I whispered. “I help her out. I do her shopping and run her errands. I check up on her every day. I had been gone all day so I hadn’t been over yet.
That’s when I found her.”
He asked my name and I told him.
“Well, Miss Bailey normally I wouldn’t be able to tell you much but as there doesn’t seem to be a nearest of kin we will say you are a caretaker of sorts to this woman.” He motioned for me to take a seat in one of the two stiff looking chairs. I numbly sat. “As I’m sure you have already assumed this looks like a suicide attempt.” A few tears spilled over as he finally formed the words I could not will my head to think.
Dr. Ostler was very kind and patient as he asked me questions about Sal’s mental status and medical history. I told him what I knew and gave him the name of Sal’s doctor.
“She is stable and should be fine physically. We are, however, recommending she be placed under psychiatric observation for at least a week to determine if it is safe for her to be living on her own,” he said after he showered me with questions, all the while making notes on his clipboard.
“You are welcome to stay with her for as long as you like.” I nodded and thanked the Doctor before he quietly left the room.
It took me a few long minutes of simply staring at Sal’s still form before I could find the will to drag my chair to her side. My hands still shaking, I took one of hers carefully in mine. It broke my heart as I looked at her face, seeing the almost anxious expression that was set into it.
One would think at least in a medicated state of unconsciousness she should be able to find some peace and rest.
I couldn’t hold back the flood of tears I had fought so hard for the last few hours. How could she have done this?
How could she do this to me? Sal was as close as any family I had now. Despite how untraditional our relationship was, she was still the best friend I had. I needed her as much as she needed me. Perhaps more. She had gotten along without me for several years before I came along. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if I were to lose her now.
My only sense of time as I sat at Sal’s side was when a nurse came in to check on Sal’s vitals. She told me everything looked fine and asked if she could get me anything. I told her no and thanked her. I glanced at the clock as she left and noted it was now just after midnight. I tried to press back any thoughts; everything was just getting to be too much.
I laid with my head resting on the side of the bed, Sal’s hand still held securely in my own when I felt the warm hand touch my shoulder. Sleep had been threatening to pull me under but at the contact, a warm jolt of life and energy flooded through me.
“Alex!” I exclaimed as I lurched to my feet and launched myself into his arms.
He didn’t say anything as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and pressed his face against mine, momentarily pressing his lips to my cheek. Tears flooded my eyes again and spilled onto his shoulder. Such a deep sense of relief and comfort washed through me, I felt as if I were physically melting into his embrace.
After several long moments of pure joy, I opened my eyes and saw Emily leaning in the door frame, a tiny half smile on her lips.
“Thank you,” I mouthed to her. Despite the bomb she had dropped on me earlier, I would be eternally grateful to her for however she had magically made Alex appear. She simply smiled and nodded.
I stepped back just a bit, not releasing my arms from around his neck, so I could look at Alex’s face, not caring how horrid my own must look. “How?” was all I managed to get out.
He pushed the hair from my face as he looked seriously in my eyes, emotions playing intensely across his impossibly blue eyes. “Things got wrapped up in California more quickly than I expected and I just had this feeling that I needed to get home.” My insides quivered slightly as he said the word
home
. “I got back to the house just a little bit ago and your friend here was there and told me where you were and that there had been an accident with Sal. We got up here as fast as we could.”
A little sob escaped my lips as I buried my face in his chest, unbearably grateful he arrived when he did. It had been all I could bear to contain everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” he whispered as he stroked my hair.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I choked. “You couldn’t have had better timing. I’m just so glad that you came back at all.”
I regretted saying the last part almost as soon as I said it. Alex pulled me away from him just enough so he could look me in the face. He seemed to be searching my face for something for a long moment before he spoke. “It was much harder than it should have been for me to be gone as long as I was.” He pulled me back into his firm embrace again and I thought I heard him mutter something like
“don’t you realize?” but I wasn’t sure, nor did I have the energy to ask him what he had said.
After several minutes that passed all too quickly, I realized I was being very rude in not formally introducing Alex and Emily.
“Oh,” I said as I stepped away from Alex. “I’m so sorry, Alex this is my friend Emily Lewis. Emily this is Alex Wright.”
“Ya, we did actually get to that part in the whirlwind of this evening,” Emily said with a little smile from the doorway.
I blushed slightly, feeling a little stupid. Of course they would have at least gotten each other’s names considering Alex most likely had found her in his house.
“Please, sit,” I said as I wiped my tears on the sleeve of my jacket. Once everyone was settled I took a deep breath, preparing myself to say what I knew needed to be said.
“The doctor said it looks like Sal tried to commit suicide,” my bottom lip quivered slightly as I spoke. “The hospital wants to keep her under observation for a while to make sure she really should be living by herself.” Everyone was quiet for several minutes after I spoke, each unsure of what to say. A few tears escaped down Alex’s face though he made no move to wipe them away.
“I’m so sorry Jessica. Alex told me how close you two were and that you took care of her,” Emily said as she stood and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “You are a good woman.”
I accepted the embrace immediately. The raised skin of what I knew would be an intricate set of wings was barely detectable through the fabric of her sweater. She backed away after a moment, a knowing look on her face.
Just as Emily backed away, a nurse came into the room to check Sal’s vitals. I realized they were checking her every hour.
“She’s doing just fine,” the dark colored woman with motherly eyes said. “The medication we gave her should be wearing off soon so she could wake up at any time. We have her on the monitor down the hall but she’s likely to be very confused when she wakes up and her throat is going to bother her from when we pumped her stomach. Just push this button here when she wakes and someone will be here in just a moment.”
We nodded and thanked the woman and she left with a comforting smile.
“Do you want us to stay with you?” Alex whispered as if he were afraid to wake Sal.
“You don’t have to,” I said as I rubbed my eyes. “I’m sure you’re tired after traveling all day. You should go and get some sleep.”
Alex grabbed my hand in both of his and brought it up to his face, gently pressing his lips to my knuckles. “Do you want me to stay with you?” he asked earnestly.
“Yes,” the words slipped out of my mouth before I could tactfully think of a way to say so without sounding so desperate.
“Then I’ll stay.”
I just nodded my head and tried to keep the thankful tears back.
“Um,” Emily said, sounding slightly uncomfortable.
“I don’t want to make Sal uncomfortable when she wakes up since she doesn’t know me. Maybe it would be best if I go back to your house and get my car?”
I considered this for a moment. She was right. Sal did have a hard time with new people, Cole was proof of that.
“Ya, that would probably be a good idea. Thank you for coming up though. I really appreciate it.” Emily stood and gave me an encouraging hug. As she stood, Alex dug around in his pocket and handed her what I recognized as the keys to my car.
“Can you drive a stick?” he asked. “You can take my truck if not.”
“I think I can manage,” she said as she gave us a wink.
“I’ll leave the keys on the table. I’ll call you later, Jessica.”
“Okay,” I managed, my voice sounding hoarse.
She left with a quiet click of the door.
We sat in silence for a moment, simply staring at Sal’s still form. I wondered what was going on in her mind right now, what could cause the perplexed expression she bore. It didn’t seem fair that she should have to be so tortured in her sleep.
I stretched my legs out in front of me as a huge yawn escaped. I couldn’t help it as I rubbed my eyes.
“Why don’t you take a break for a minute,” Alex said as he rubbed a hand in circles on my back. “I can sit with Sal for a bit. Why don’t you go get something to drink? I saw a vending machine in the waiting room. I’m pretty sure they even had Dr. Pepper in it,” he said with that half smile.
I let out a little chuckle. So apparently he had noticed my drink of choice.
“I think that would be a good idea at this point,” I said as I stood, raising my arms above my head, trying to make my blood circulate again. “I’ll be back in just a minute.”
“Take as long as you need.”
It was indeed a relief to be out of the tiny room that was beginning to feel stuffy. I was however not exactly anxious to leave Alex’s side so quickly after he miraculously returned. But the halls were a welcome break and oddly lifted my fallen spirits a bit with their white walls and bright lights. It also helped me to feel more alert and awake.
My first stop was to the ladies room that was just off the waiting room. I was glad to see it was empty as I stood at the counter and looked in the mirror. I looked like a nightmare. The bags under my eyes were frightening and I wondered if they would ever return to normal. My eyes were swollen and bloodshot; all evidence of the make-up I had worn earlier had been long washed away with the tears.
My skin looked splotchy and unhealthy. The mane that was my hair was turning frizzy and looked disheaved. I suddenly wished I was the type of girl who kept a portable salon in her purse. Anything to help the scary face that looked back at me in the mirror.
I splashed some water on my face and quickly dried it.
It felt refreshing and I wished I could take a shower. That was going to have to wait though.
I felt suddenly ashamed after I stood looking at myself for several long minutes. Sal had just been fighting for her life in that room and I was worried about what I looked like.
How could I be so shallow?
There was indeed a vending machine in the waiting room and I was grateful they did have my favorite drink. I bought two of them and quickly made my way back to Sal’s room.
“Feel better?” Alex asked with a little smile as I closed the door behind me.
“Much,” I said as I tried to force a smile onto my face unsuccessfully. I held one of the sodas out to him but he shook his head.
“I’m okay. I can’t say I care too much for that stuff anyway. Thanks though.”
“Well, I don’t think I’ll have any problem downing both of them,” I chuckled as I unscrewed the lid to the first one. I downed half of it in less than thirty seconds.
“Whoa!” Alex laughed. “Slow down there.”
“Sorry,” I said as I wiped a tiny drop that had escaped onto my lips onto the back of my hand. “I’m tired.” The laughter that had just filled Alex’s face suddenly died away. My heart sank into my stomach for a moment. I hadn’t forgotten what I told Alex but up until this point I was pretending I could ignore that fact and just simply enjoy the actuality that he was here.
But rather than just look at me like I was a freak, he opened his arms and ushered me to him. My heart gave a little flutter as I settled myself into his lap and he wrapped his arms comfortingly around me. I let my head rest on his chest and his chin settled softly on the top of it. He began humming softly and after a few minutes I couldn’t find the will to ask him what the tune was and break the near perfectness of the moment.
There was a not entirely small part in the back of my mind however that wondered if the closeness we were experiencing would last beyond this dramatic night and into tomorrow when things would return to a more normal state.
I was trying hard not to think about that.
The clock ticked on, the second hand seemed to grow fractionally louder with each tick. Despite the setting and circumstances we were there under I couldn’t help but be wonderfully happy.
Just before three, the magic was broken, though it was not an entirely heartbreaking experience.
Sal’s eyes fluttered open and then shut once, her brow becoming all the more furrowed. Her lips quivered, almost as if she were trying to say something, but was unable to find the strength to make the words come out.
We both jumped to the side of her bed and I took one of her hands in mine as I sat on one side.
“Sal?” I whispered. “Can you hear me?”
Her eyes opened briefly again but they were unfocused and clouded looking. They slid heavily closed again. Her lips began to move a little more deliberately and small hissing sounds escaped them as she tried to force air up her throat to speak.
“It’s Jessica,” I whispered as I touched her face, pushing her wild hair out of her eyes. “Alex is here too. He got home this morning.”
“Where?” the word raspily made its way out of her throat.
“You’re at Saint John’s Hospital, Sal.” I had to try very hard to keep my voice steady as the tears threatened to spill over again. I didn’t think I could handle telling Sal what had happened as I knew it was likely she wouldn’t remember the incident at all.
“He told me…” her voice quivered as her eyes remained closed but the furrow between her brows continued to deepen. “Make me forget. Forget what happened.”
I looked up at Alex with a worried and confused expression. His own face reflected how I felt.
“Let him in. Black eyes said trust him. Face tricked me.” Sal’s eyes slid open and she found my face, suddenly able to focus. Her eyes stared intently into my own and I saw fear spread through them. “Wasn’t what he seemed.
Tricked me. Don’t trust him.”
“Sal, I…” I stumbled for words as I kept the intense stare she was giving me. “Who are you talking about?”
“Don’t trust him, Jessica,” she wheezed as she squeezed my hand with much more force than I thought she would be able to muster.
Just then the dark nurse came in the door with a quiet tap.
“I thought she must be awake,” she said. “The monitors suddenly started jumping all around.” She walked to Sal’s side and began checking things and Alex and I had to move to get out of the way.
“Dr. Ostler is going to want to check her out again and talk to Sal in private,” the nurse said, turning to us. “I suggest the both of you head home and get some sleep. It’s been a long night I’m sure. The hospital will give you a call, Miss Bailey, to let you know what is happening.” I simply nodded my head, which suddenly felt like it was spinning with the possibility of leaving Sal in this hospital full of strangers by herself.
“We’ll be back soon, Sal,” Alex mercifully spoke when I couldn’t. She stared at him blankly before her eyes slid shut once again.
I grabbed my few things from the room and we left silently.