Authors: Keary Taylor
The day seemed to be confused on what type of weather it wanted to have. One would never know there had been ice on the roads this morning through all the beautiful sunshine and rising temperatures. As I got on the freeway I actually turned the heater completely off. Strange weather for February.
I gently eased the truck into the garage and walked back out to the road to check the mailbox. I softly hummed to myself as I sorted through the Wrights mail and walked back to the house, wondering what you were supposed to do with it all when the intended recipients were deceased.
Well, that was up to Alex now I supposed.
“Hey.”
I jumped nearly a foot into the air, dropping several envelopes when I heard the voice just feet in front of me.
Cole had seated himself on the bottom step leading up to the doorway. Had he not said anything, I would have walked right into him. He had his arms crossed over his knees, looking up at me with that too perfect smile.
“I thought since you were busy tonight we could go for a little excursion,” he said with hopeful eyes that no one could have said no to.
My mouth opened and closed more than once before I could make any sound come out. “Uh…ya. I guess.”
“Great,” he said as he stood. I then noticed that he had already changed into a pair of jeans and a light sweater. He was also the only male I had ever seen wear a scarf and not look in the least bit gay.
“I’ll, uh…just go in and change,” I said as I opened the door slightly.
“Mind if I come in?”
My vocal chords were still unwilling to work so I only shook my head and let him come in behind me. I set the mail on the dining room table before turning to the fridge. I did feel a little guilty for looking through Alex’s food but I didn’t want to be rude.
“Would you like something to drink?” I called as I buried my head in the fridge. “There’s milk, orange juice, or water.”
“I’m fine, thank you,” Cole said, making himself comfortable on one of the couches. “So this Alex guy isn’t going to storm in here any second and shoot me for entering his house is he?”
I struggled for a second to answer, not sure how I felt about his comment. “No,” I finally replied. “Alex had to go to California. He’ll be gone till, well, for a while.” Cole only nodded as he looked around the house, taking his surroundings in.
“I hope you don’t mind waiting for a little bit. I’d kind of like to shower.”
“Of course,” he said with a nod and a grin.
I didn’t wait to look any more like an idiot and ran downstairs, trying hard to not trip over myself.
The water hadn’t even completely gotten hot before I shut it off, hoping I had managed to get all the shampoo out.
I threw on the first sweater and pair of jeans I came to and yanked a brush through my hair before resurfacing; a whole ten minutes had maybe passed.
“Ok,” I huffed as I came back into the main room.
“So, where are we going?”
Cole’s eyes wandered very non-subtly from my head to foot, not bothering to cover up the grin the tugged in one corner of his lips. I could feel the blood rush into my cheeks and couldn’t help but feel flattered and embarrassed at the same time.
“I noticed the canoe tucked under the deck and thought maybe we could go out in that, if that would be okay with Alex?”
The fleeting moment of flattery passed as slight irritation filled me. I didn’t really understand why it flustered me so to have him talk about Alex. “Alex won’t mind,” I said as I walked out onto the deck and led Cole down the stairs to the lower deck of my apartment.
It only took us a moment to pull the large canoe out and maneuver it down to the dock and roll it off the side into the water. I accepted the hand Cole offered as I stepped shakily into the canoe.
We each took a paddle and slowly started making our way out into the water. A sudden rush of embarrassment washed over me, realizing we were definitely going to be the only ones out on the water. No one went out in the middle of February. I felt embarrassingly on display and too obviously in everyone’s view.
“Is this good?” I asked as we got about a third of the way across.
“Sure,” Cole said from behind me. I slid my paddle into the bottom, trying to be careful not to drip water on anything important. Carefully bracing my hands on either side I turned around to face Cole.
“Are you alright?” he said, his expression both amused and anxious at the same time. “You look a bit flushed.”
“I’m fine,” I said with a huff, glad I had not fallen into the water. I couldn’t help but return the playful grin Cole shined at me.
I felt momentarily uncomfortable as I wondered if his plan was to simply sit out here on the lake and float around for an unknown amount of time. Luckily I was saved from wondering in silence for too long.
“There don’t seem to be a whole lot of people living here. What do you do for fun around here?” he asked, his expression as if my answer would be the most interesting thing he would ever hear.
“Um…” I struggled to answer, not exactly willing to divulge to this glorious being how pathetic I truly was. “Ya, it’s pretty quiet until around Memorial Day. Believe me, there will be plenty of people here after then. As for fun around here… let’s just say I don’t get around or out much.
I’m kind of pathetic like that I guess.” There, I told the truth.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “We will have to try our best to change that now that I am here. I will do some checking around and find us something very entertaining to do next week.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at Cole’s enthusiasm.
There were other feelings going on at the same time though.
Cole almost seemed to be sending electric currents through his intense gaze as his eyes locked with mine. Strange emotions ran though me as I couldn’t help but stare back into the perfection of his face. There was a sense of familiarity about Cole and yet at the same time I knew he was like no one I had ever met before.
Conversation seemed to come naturally for Cole as he kept up a constant flow of it. It wasn’t easy diverting attention from myself, telling about my past was difficult without letting on that something was very wrong with me.
Cole brushed lightly on his childhood in England. He had grown up in a fairly small town but from the sound of it the population of it was fairly wealthy people and apparently the Emerson’s were no exception.
“So how old are you, Jessica?” he asked as he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees.
“Twenty,” I answered, meeting his intense eyes, daring him to make a comment back about me being young. “How old are you?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow.
Cole chuckled. “I just turned twenty-six.” I almost missed how he seemed to have to think about his answer.
“Aren’t you a too old, you know, for this?” I teased as I made a circle with my fingers, indicating us and the situation we were in.
“Come on!” he joked back. “Don’t be like that!” We both laughed, moving on to mundane questions about favorite books, colors, foods.
Perhaps I had been overly sensitive before. Cole had come off as judgmental and almost possessive at first.
Maybe I was wrong. Cole was the perfect gentleman and I was beginning to feel perfectly at ease in his presence.
Two hours must have passed as I noticed the sun had already left the highest position in the sky and was heading west. We had slowly drifted back toward the shore and were not too far from the house. A slight lull in conversation settled and my mind reeled for something to fill the silence.
I was, however, coming up blank.
“Can I be perfectly honest with you, Jessica?” I was momentarily relieved when he finally broke the silence but once I registered his question, couldn’t help but feel incredibly uneasy.
“Of course,” I stammered, twisting my hands together in my lap.
“I really enjoy spending time with you,” he said, his eyes glowing with intensity. He sat forward, reaching for my hand which I hesitantly gave him. “I’m not going to pretend otherwise, I like you very much, Jessica. I feel like I have a very strong connection to you.”
My heart hammered in my chest and had my brain been functioning correctly I would have been embarrassed by the possibility that he might be able to hear it. My mouth opened once but with no words for them to say I unconsciously closed it.
It was difficult to tell if Cole was waiting for me to say something. His expression seemed sincere as he continued his unwavering gaze. He leaned forward ever so slowly until his face was less than a foot from mine.
As his smell drifted into my space I had a hard time remembering why I wasn’t jumping headlong into the arms Cole seemed to have opened for me. It seemed the perfect male specimen had just walked into my life. Not only was his face and body absolutely perfect and flawless, he seemed to be flattering and considerate. Why was I been holding back again?
As these thoughts raced through my head I had hardly noticed Cole had continued to move closer until something automatic within turned my head just as his lips were about to meet mine.
I heard him give a frustrated sounding chuckle before he planted a very soft and gentle kiss on my cheek. I very nearly shuttered as an unexpected cold current raced down my spine.
When he sat back there was no evidence of the frustration I’d heard or any signs of rejection. His face was simply calm and serene.
“Shall we head back?” he said smoothly.
I could only nod before I stiffly returned to my seat at the front of the canoe.
Cole said nothing as we cleaned up from our afternoon, for which I was glad, despite the awkwardness that hung in the air. I simply didn’t know what to say. He didn’t seem dejected in any way as most men probably would. He still held that air of absolute confidence about him, teetering on the edge of arrogance without being irritating. There was a certain look in his eyes as well, almost as if he knew he would eventually get his way. With everything.
“I will see you later then,” he said with that smile. He gently tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, sending another tingling shiver rippling through my body as his skin brushed mine. He then turned and walked back up the hill to the road.
Despite the beautiful sunshine I was suddenly freezing. Another uncontrollable shiver shook me and I hurried inside and cranked the heater up past eighty degrees.
I sat with my arms wrapped around my legs, my chin resting on my knees, teetering on the edge of my tiny couch.
I couldn’t shake the cold that seemed to have seeped into my skin.
There was something strange about Cole. From the outside he seemed fine, more than fine. Perfect. He could be a perfect gentleman when he wanted to be but those glimpses I caught of underlying emotions frightened me.
Like Mr. Hyde was waiting just under the surface, waiting for that weak moment in Dr. Jekyll to break loose.
While these feelings were strong I could not deny that I felt
something
toward Cole. He had called it a connection.
Maybe that was what it was. There was something that was strangely familiar about him, as if I should already know him and had known him for a long time. Or perhaps it was more just physical attraction than connection. Hormones reacting to a flawless face and body.
I rubbed my arms vigorously, trying to shake the cold and rising festering feelings. I suddenly didn’t want to think about Cole and longed for something comforting and secure feeling.
Before I even realized fully what I was doing, I had the phone in my hand and dialed the number I had memorized all too fast.
Oddly, I felt perfectly calm and steady as I listened to the phone ring. I did, however, feel a crushing disappointment when after three rings the voicemail kicked in. And even more disappointed when it was the standard female’s voice telling me to leave a message, not the one I longed to hear.
I didn’t leave a message as I was unsure of what to even say. He would know it was me who called anyway when he saw the number under his missed calls.
Not five seconds after I hung up the phone rang, sending my heart leaping up into my throat.
“Hello?” I answered, too much excitement in my voice.
“Hi Jessica, it’s Emily!”
“Oh,” I couldn’t help but sound a little disappointed.
“Not who you were expecting?” she half laughed.
“Oh no, sorry,” I tried to quickly recover. “I just hung up, he didn’t answer.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she rushed on and I was grateful I didn’t have to keep trying to scramble. “I looked at the movie times and there’s one at noon and another at two. I was kind of thinking the two. That would give us some time to get lunch and walk around the mall before.”
“Ya, that sounds great,” I said and meant it.
“Okay, I’ll just meet you at the mall around noon then?”
“I’ll see you then,”
Emily said a quick good-bye and hung up.
It felt like the amount of cleaning I had to catch up on should have taken longer. Sadly it didn’t. When I found myself twittling my thumbs in the evening, I headed to Sal’s, trying to ignore the burn that blazed on the back of my neck.
I found Sal sitting next to the window that faced Cole’s house, glaring through the blinds. From the looks of her, she hadn’t changed her clothes or bathed in a few days.
“Is everything alright, Sal?” I said as I draped my coat over the back of a chair.
“Why is he here?” she hissed as she continued her intense glare out the window.
“Who? Cole?”
“That man shouldn’t be here,” she mumbled. “You shouldn’t be spending time with him, Jessica.” I realized then that Sal had probably been watching as Cole and I had gone out on the lake in the canoe.
I was taken aback by her comment. I had never heard her speak like this before. She was always so caring, crazy and unpredictable at times, but never hostile sounding.
Though I had heard her screaming her ex-husbands name in her sleep before.
“Cole is a nice guy,” I said as I seated myself on the couch, tucking my legs under me. “He’s really sorry about scaring you the other day. He told me to tell you that.”
“I don’t like him,” she said as she went to the other couch. “He should leave.”
I could only silently chuckle and shake my head. Sal was stubborn; she didn’t often change her mind about things. I knew there wasn’t going to be much I could do to change her opinion of Cole. But then again, I wasn’t really sure what my own opinion of him was.
Sal never seemed to relax even after she turned her show on. She sat in a tight ball, a blanket wrapped snuggly around her, muttering things under her breath. I hoped her strange hostility would wear off after a few days.
I knew I was going to have to sleep tonight, it was becoming harder and harder to fight. My eyes drooped every few minutes and I had to constantly rearrange the way I sat to keep from getting too comfortable. I could only imagine what would happen if I fell asleep at Sal’s.
The final credits finally ran and I stretched on the couch, trying to will my body to move.
“Do you want to watch another?” Sal asked hopefully.
I was surprised by her eagerness as I didn’t think she had gotten much out of the episode.
“I think I’d better get home and go to bed actually,” I admitted solemnly. “I’m about to fall asleep right here on your couch.”
“You’re welcome to if you’d like,” I could hear the enthusiasm in her voice. In the back of my mind I wondered if perhaps Sal didn’t want to be alone tonight. This seemed unlikely, Sal almost always wanted to be alone.
I gave an uncomfortable chuckle. “Thanks Sal, but I really should get home.”
“Alright,” she said as she stood and moved back to her position at the window.
“Sal,” I sighed. “Really, don’t worry about Cole. He’s not going to bother you. You should take a long hot shower and put on those new soft pajamas I just got you.” I tried to make the suggestions without sounding rude.
She acted as if she didn’t hear me as she parted the blinds wide and peered outside.
I sighed again, knowing there wasn’t much more I could do. I wasn’t going to force her into the shower or her bed. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep good.” She still said nothing and I slipped out.
As I stumbled through the door, I went to the phone and saw there had been a missed call from Alex. I was tempted for a short moment to call him back but it was well after ten and I knew I was in no condition to think straight, much less have an intelligent conversation.
My neck seared and my ears started ringing as I nearly tripped down half the stairs. My breathing came in short intakes and I tried to calm myself before I could hyperventilate. My hands shook violently as I dressed in my pajamas. It took me a second to realize why my new bottoms felt off, I had put them on backwards.
I stood staring at my bed for a long time. Even though I knew it was only in my head, I could hear the sound of demented laughter and felt as if thousands of eyes were watching me, just waiting for me to slip under. They were going to win tonight.
I refused to look up from my bare feet as I heard the rustle of wings and knew the council had arrived. My lips moved franticly as the numbers slipped silently over them.
My hands were balled into tight fists, twisting around each other, causing the golden chain that bound me to dig into my skin uncomfortably.
“Alice Green,” the leader of the exalted began.
My
name is not Alice, my name is Jessica,
I hissed to myself as I squeezed my eyes shut. “The deeds of your life have been accounted for and judgment will be passed. Your actions must be made known.”
The demonic laughter rose swiftly from below, nearly drowning out the beautiful voices that descended from above. I could feel the hundreds of eyes burning into me as they settled themselves along the staircase that wound around the cylinder.
“Alice Green, your deeds will now be revealed,” the perfect man before me continued. I could not find the will to even look up to see which scroll was longer. The numbers continued to roll off my tongue, faster and faster.
I nearly breathed a sigh of relief as the items on the list were read aloud. One was much longer than the other and tonight I was fairly sure I would not get a branding.
I was about to find out though.
“Up,” the leader of the exalted began.
“Up,” said the second.
“Up,” the third.
As the exalted each sentenced me to ascend I finally lifted my head. Their faces were so beautiful. How was it possible they could cause such terror in my life?
But as I observed each of their beautiful faces I stopped breathing. Something was different. Where the leader of the condemned usually sat was a lower member of the council. The leader was gone. Another angel I had never seen before had taken a seat on the council.
I had endured the torment of these trials for as long as I could remember and the council had
never
changed. So many things were changing lately. The terrifying experiences of my life were becoming all the more horrifying.
I did not even hear what the condemned members sentenced me to as I tried to rationalize why there could have possibly been a change. I was coming up empty handed.
Angry hisses broke from around me as I barely registered the last sentence of “up” spoken.
“Alice Green,” the first of them spoke again.
“Judgment has been placed.”
My skin crawled, twisted and shivered. I could hear the tearing and pain filled me momentarily as my beautiful wings burst from my skin.
Being exalted was no less terrifying than being condemned. There was just less pain involved. Angry screams ripped through the throats of those with the black eyes as
everyone
leapt from their seats at once. Those with blue eyes clasped my hands and with beats of their powerful wings, tried to heave me upward toward the clear blue sky.
The condemned were never willing to let anyone get away though. Clusters of them grabbed at my ankles, doing their best to drag me back down into their fiery hell. It is absolutely true when they say misery loves company.
A brutal tug-of-war began with my body serving as the rope. I screamed and kicked at the cold hands that tried to pull me downward but I could feel the grasps that held my hands slipping. After a moment I lost hold. I heard the heckling, victorious laughter as I freefell through the air, before blackness swallowed me graciously.
I almost called Emily and canceled. I had been a mess all morning, nearly in a vegetative state as I sat motionless on my couch. I just couldn’t make sense of the most recent trial.
But somehow after a few hours of not moving I found my will again and told myself I had to continue in my mission to gain some normalcy. A girls day out was very normal.
So I managed to drag myself into the shower and get dressed in some of the new clothes I had bought. I finally made it out to the truck. It took another five minutes or so of sitting there with my hands braced on the wheel to convince myself, but finally I backed the truck out of the garage and made it to the freeway.
It only took me a moment to find Emily once I reached the mall’s food court. She was dressed in an almost too short skirt that showed off her mile long legs and a cute pink sweater. Her hair was worn down as always but one could tell she had taken some time to get the perfect curls to stay.
The whole effect drew quite a few unabashed stares from the male shoppers. I suddenly felt very plain and boring next to her.
“So are you hungry?” she said cheerily after we exchanged excited greetings.
“Sure,” I lied. The thought of eating made my stomach churn slightly. Apparently I still wasn’t over the effect last night had on me.
We each got some food from different places and I decided I was only safe with a smoothie and a bag of chips.
Emily, practically bouncing like a giddy fifteen-year-old girl, led us to a table that wasn’t surrounded by too many people.
“Thank you so much for coming with me today,” she began as she forked a bit of salad into her mouth. “I know it must seem really weird, me asking you to come with me out of the blue like that but I just really needed a friend and I don’t know very many people here yet.”
“Where are you from?” I asked, suddenly realizing I knew nothing about Emily other than her amazing flexibility.
“I grew up in Texas but I’ve moved around the west coast since I was eighteen. I’m twenty-two now.” I nodded as I took a long draw of my drink. We had at least that in common, leaving home at a young age.
“So tell me about yourself,” she said as she looked up at me, excitement over our surroundings shining in her eyes.
“Where’d you grow up?”
I chuckled uneasily. I should have guessed this wasn’t going to be as easy as I might have hoped. “Um, I grew up in the amazing state of Idaho,” I began sarcastically. “I finished high school in California and moved up here a year and a half ago.” There, keep it simple and easy.
Emily’s eyes narrowed for just a moment as if she were considering asking something she possibly shouldn’t.
It only lasted a moment though before she showered me with questions about what I liked to do, what I did around here for fun, guys.
“So what’s the deal with you and Cole?” she said as we dumped our now empty trays in the garbage and headed toward the stores.
It took me a second to say anything as I thought over my confused feelings for him. “I don’t really know. Things are a little strange in that department.”
“Well I can tell you now,” she said as she led me into a clothing store. “Cole’s feelings are plain and clear on his face. You didn’t see the way he kept looking at you yesterday.”
“What?”
“Oh ya, girl. He definitely knows what he wants and that is you, my friend. I’d be careful. Not that he isn’t absolutely perfect in every physical way, but there’s something a little strange about him.”
I felt a little relieved as she said this. So I wasn’t just crazy and the only one who felt a little wary toward him.
“Thanks,” I said simply.
By this point we only had a moment to wander around the store before we needed to head to the theater.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had gone to see a chick flick with a female friend. I decided as the movie started I was going to have to do this more often. It made me feel almost normal, like I actually fit into the world. It almost made me forget that I had a pair of wings embedded into the skin on my back and an X branded into the back of my neck.
“Oh my gosh,” Emily squealed as we exited the darkened theater. “I cried so hard at the end there when he
finally
kissed her!”
I could only nod in agreement as I dabbed at my eyes again, grateful she’d had a pack of tissues in her purse. I hadn’t expected the movie to be a tear jerker
and
a comedy.
“Do you mind if we stay around here a little longer?” she asked with hopeful eyes. “There’s supposed to be a killer sale going on right now at my favorite store and I was hoping to get some serious shopping done.”
Even if I had something going on it would have been hard to deny her with all the hope that shone in her eyes.
“Sounds fabulous,” I answered. She gave a delighted squeal and hooked her arm through mine and we marched down the hall.
Emily had meant it when she said she wanted to do some serious shopping. We were in the one store for almost three hours. Not that I could blame her for taking her time, the sale had been amazing and I knew I was spending too much money as we both checked out. I could only hope it was true when Alex had said there was a fund to keep paying me.