Branded (22 page)

“It seemed so simple. It takes a lifetime of good living to not be condemned but it seemed there was one act, that if you committed this one action, you were guaranteed to be branded.

“I heard through an extended family member that my stepfather had slipped back into his old ways. He was abusing my two little sisters the same way he had abused me for years. It made me sick and perhaps a bit crazy but I suddenly knew exactly what I was going to do. I was living in Oregon at the time and I drove all through the night back to Texas.

“I was so enraged and out of my mind it is amazing that I didn’t get caught, that I managed to plan it out so carefully and flawlessly. Every detail fell into place perfectly when so much could have gone wrong. It wasn’t like I really knew what I was doing. The cops never were able to even begin to guess who the murderer might be.” My heart seemed to have stopped beating as the realization of what she had done sank in.

“I got back home the next morning and I was so tired and probably more than a little in shock over what I had just done. I fell asleep as soon as I walked in the door. But there weren’t any nightmares then. There weren’t any more nightmares ever after that. My theory had been correct. In guaranteeing that I condemned myself I had stopped the nightmares and the brandings.”

I didn’t realize there were tears running down my cheeks until Emily lifted a shaky hand to wipe them away.

She had tears of her own rolling down her face.

“You see why I couldn’t tell you?” she whispered, her eyes full of shame. “I couldn’t let you even consider doing that to yourself. I can live with myself, knowing what I have done, because it saved my sisters. But I can’t let you do that to yourself. I couldn’t live with myself if you went and did something like that because I was the one who told you how.”

I couldn’t make my head fully wrap around this information. Around the fact that, despite how complicated things had gotten lately, the woman who was becoming one of my very best friends, was already condemned. Come her judgment day, her neck would be branded, her eyes would turn black and she would be pulled down into the fiery depths of the cylinder. She would become one of the angels who laughed dementedly at me from the walls.

“No,” I whispered as my eyes grew wide with this thought. “No! It can’t be too late! You…you could change that,” my voice grew soft with this last sentence and trailed off. We both knew the likelihood of her being able to override what she had done. I could not recall anyone who had committed a murder not being branded.

Emily pursed her lips in a tight line and tried to smile unsuccessfully. She shook her head as she leaned forward and put her arms around me. “It’s okay,” she whispered into my hair as I started to sob into her shoulder. “I knew what I was doing. There’s no going back now and I will live with the consequences of what I did. Right now I… I just have to enjoy the rest of my life. Thank goodness I’m still young, right?” she tried to say with a slight laugh which just sent more sobs escaping up my throat.

It took me a long time before the tears ran out and my face hurt so badly I did not think I could cry any longer.

When I finally seemed to find my head again, it felt numb and I knew I could not take any more. I couldn’t handle any more of the impossible today.

I had made two calls at the institute. The first had been to Emily and the second had been to Alex. He had told me that Rod wanted to go camping somewhere right along the Canadian border. He sounded ridiculously guilty about even bringing the possibility up and told me that if I needed him to come home he would do so immediately. Of course I told him he should go and was actually a bit relieved he would be gone. I wasn’t sure if I could keep my composure and the façade that nothing was wrong around him. He had a way of getting under my skin too easily.

But even though I was glad Alex would be gone, that did not mean I necessarily wanted to be alone. Thankfully I did not even have to ask Emily if I could stay with her. She offered me her couch for as long as I needed it.

Oddly the rest of the night passed in a relaxed and comfortable way. Neither of us seemed to know what to do about the situation with Cole at the moment and I plain and simply did not want to talk or think about it anymore. The rest of the day and night was spent watching a few chick flicks, painting toe nails and eating take out Chinese food.

For once, I just needed a night to be a normal twenty-year-old woman hanging out with her best girlfriend.

The morning dawned clear and with the promise of a beautiful day. Despite how my body ached, some from still being sick and some from Emily’s not-as-comfortable-as-it-looks couch, I felt oddly good and clear. I still didn’t know what to do about the situation with Cole but I didn’t feel like my brain was so fogged I couldn’t even think.

I may not have known what to do about Cole but I did have one plan of action.

As I had been lying on the couch that night, staving off sleep, I realized that today would be the day my family was supposed to be flying into Seattle. I had to call my dad and tell him not to come. It was too dangerous right now. Who knew what could happen. Cole had already gone after Sal. I couldn’t imagine what he might do to my family.

Knowing my chances of catching him before they left were slim, I borrowed Emily’s phone and called just after six, grateful for the time difference and that it wouldn’t be so early there. Luck had not been with me however and it went straight to his voicemail. They must have already been on the plane, catching the earliest flight. Feeling frantic, I told him the name of a restaurant and a time to meet me. I made sure it was very clear that he was to come alone.

Emily was still asleep when I was ready to go. I couldn’t help but feel both a pang of jealousy and fear mixed with pity, each in warring portions. I couldn’t be angry at her any more for not telling me how to make the nightmares stop. While I was glad to finally know, she was right in not telling me what she had done. I left her a note thanking her for letting me stay and telling her that I would keep her updated on anything that changed.

I must have finally been getting the hang of the motorcycle as I made my way home. It felt almost exhilarating and if my mind had not been reeling with what to do so bad I might have actually enjoyed it. The feeling of the wind whipping my hair around and feeling it part on the front of the helmet was a new feeling of freedom I had never experienced.

The fact that my father was on his way here jarred me from my momentary elation, encouraging me to push the bike all the faster.

“What are we doing here?” I asked my dad as we
pulled into a car dealership. “Aren’t you afraid of being
attacked by the wolves?”

He chuckled as he stepped out of the car and closed
the door. “Come take a look with me.”

I didn’t understand what was going on. After I had
gotten home from school I was prepared to sulk around the
house all day. No one had remembered it was my birthday
all day. No one cared. But as soon as I got home my dad
had drug me out into his car and told me we were going for
a drive. And here we were at the biggest car dealership
Idaho Falls had to offer.

I followed behind my dad a few paces. He seemed
certain where he was going. He walked to the end of an
aisle and stopped in front of a shiny blue Toyota that looked
nearly brand new.

“What do you think of this one?” he asked as he eyed
it, his hands in his pockets.

“What’s wrong with the Honda?” I asked as I stood
next to him and folded my arms across my chest.

“Oh nothing,” he said as a hint of a smile tugged in
the corner of his mouth. “This just kind of screamed

‘Jessica’ at me when I saw it.”

It took me a second to realize what he was saying. He
had pulled a set of keys out of his pocket before it fully hit
me.

“What? No… you…?” I stuttered.

“Happy birthday, Jessica,” he said with a smile as he
handed the keys over to me.

“Are you serious?” I squealed like the sixteen-year-old girl I was.

“Why don’t we go for a drive? Give the new wheels a
spin?”

“We can just take it? You already got it?”

“Technically you’re not driving, since you don’t have
your license yet,” my dad said as he glanced around to
make sure no one was watching.

A few minutes later we had worked our way out of the
city and switched.

“Dad, seriously, this is the best present. Ever,” I
cooed as I started down a quiet road.

“I knew you’d like it,” he said as he settled back into
his seat. He didn’t even seem nervous that I was driving,
without a license too. “I wanted you to have something
nice. I know life hasn’t exactly been easy for you.”

“Thanks dad,” I said feeling my throat tighten a little.

“It really does mean a lot to me.”

“I know you don’t like to talk about it and I know your
mother hasn’t made it easy for you, but if you ever do want
to, you know, talk, I’m always here.”

“Thanks dad,” I said as my eyes filled with moisture.

“I know.”

But no matter how bad I did want to tell him, to tell
anyone how terrifying my life really was, I could never tell
him. He would never understand.

Shaking off memories of the past that hurt me more than I cared to admit, I pulled into the driveway and got off the bike. I felt incredibly jumpy and scared as I keyed in the code to the garage and waited anxiously for it to open far enough to push the bike in. I felt only slightly better when the door closed again; sealing me inside what I hoped and didn’t hope was an empty house. Considering Alex’s truck was still gone I knew it should be silent.

The house that had been so familiar to me for the last year and a half now seemed foreign and intimidating with its dark corners and hidden spaces. I crept from room to room, turning on every light as I went along even though it didn’t do much, the sun was streaming through the windows with wondrous glory.

Finally satisfied that the house was indeed empty, I climbed into the shower. The enclosed space seemed pathetically calming and safe. I could see every corner in the shower; nothing could be hiding in there. I did however keep the shower curtain open as wide as the water would allow. Just in case anything or anyone tried to sneak up on me.

Nervousness again settled upon me as I shut the water off, knowing I was going to have to go back out into the rest of the house. I took at least a tiny bit of comfort in the fact that I had locked all the doors as I checked the house earlier.

I pulled a towel around me and tried to relax a little as I started rummaging through a drawer, looking for a spring shirt I had bought last year. I heard the footsteps only a moment before a pair of strong but gentle arms wrapped around my waist. I barely even jumped at the unexpected touch. I knew this embrace well enough to know there were no sinister intentions behind it.

A pair of lips touched only briefly onto my bare shoulder before I twisted in his arms, my own lips searching for Alex’s. My arms tightened securely behind his neck and as I strained to stand on my toes to reach his face, he placed his hands on my hips, hoisting me up and I wrapped my legs around his narrow waist.

Our lips parted and a soft moan of nothing but pleasure escaped them as Alex carried us to the bed. He half tripped as my back landed on my bed, his body a comfortable weight on top of me. His lips moved from my lips down to my neck, moving rhythmically as his hands slipped from my waist down my thigh all the way down to my ankle. I was glad I had taken the time to shave in the shower just barely.

I couldn’t think of anything else in the world as Alex’s body pressed against mine. There was no such thing as condemned and exalted beings. There were no sinister more-than-man just two doors down, probably after me.

There were no such things as angels besides the one in my arms.

Alex rolled, pulling me on top of him. Somehow my towel managed to stay wrapped around me just enough to not show anything important. His fingers traced from the scar on my neck, down my spine to the wings, hesitating momentarily at the new raised portion. Graciously he did not stop to ask any questions as his fingers continued their greedy inspection of my skin, a moan of both desire and slight frustration slipping out.

A few moments later we both seemed to realize we were going to go too far at any moment. With Alex’s fingers still knotted in my hair, he pulled my face just slightly away from his own ever so gently.

He stared intently into my eyes and I was surprised at how serious and clear his expression was. He seemed to be considering something very important, as if trying to make some significant decision.

As I stared back, I marveled at the man who held me so tenderly. His miraculously blue eyes burned with sincerity and intensity. His gaze seemed to reach down into my soul and whisper every word I desired to hear into my very core.

“I love you, Jessica,” he whispered as he continued his intense gaze. “I never have and I never will love another woman like I love you.”

My pulse skyrocketed and my stomach fluttered in a wonderful way as his words spread through me. I realized then that it was the first time that he had said those words in that exact way. “And I love you, Alex. More than you could possibly imagine. And I will never stop loving you. I promise you that.” As the words crossed my lips I knew they were true. The intensity of them should have frightened me but I had never felt so right saying any words in all my life.

A small, content smile spread on his lips just before he pressed them to mine briefly. “We should go do something special today. It’s a beautiful day and I want to spend every second of it with you.”

I couldn’t help but smile as I thought of how ridiculously cheesy we sounded. And I couldn’t have cared less. I loved it and couldn’t have been happier to hear him say the things he did. I marveled at how it was possible to love someone so much. It seemed a miracle that my body didn’t simply burst from the effort of trying to hold it all in.

“Actually,” I said as I sat up, sliding off of him and adjusting to make sure I was decent enough. “I need to go down to Seattle today. Maybe we could spend the day down there?”

“That sounds great,” he said with a wide smile. He pressed another quick kiss to my lips before he stood. “Why don’t you pack an overnight bag? I have something in mind.

I think you will really like it.”

I smiled and nodded, feeling slightly relieved that he had not asked why I needed to go to Seattle. I hadn’t really thought yet about what I was going to give him as the reason why I would need to disappear for a while today.

“I’ll finish getting ready, you go shower,” I said with a slight chuckle.

“Oh sorry,” he said as he blushed and sniffed at his arm. “I bet I reek. We trekked straight through the woods to get to our camping spot.”

I just shook my head and laughed. “Just go get ready,” I said as I waved toward the door. “I need to get dressed before we do something stupid.”

He gave a little impish grin. “Good idea.” He then headed for the door and closed it behind him.

A girlish little squeal erupted from my throat as I jumped to my feet, pure joy and contentment flooding through my veins. I quickly stifled it when I heard a chuckle from somewhere outside my door.

I dressed with care, making sure everything looked perfect and just right and took the time to make sure my wild curls stayed in just the right place. It really could look nice if I took the time to try and tame it. I tried to pack light but ended up with twice what I would probably need. I had no idea what to prepare for. I was sure Alex would surprise me, he always did.

Just an hour after he had come home we were loaded in the truck and on our way to the big city.

While I had no desire whatsoever to live in Seattle, I loved to visit the city. I felt so small there with its towering skyscrapers and it was so easy to blend in and get lost with the thousands of people walking the streets. It was a nice change from the quiet secluded life of living on Lake Samish.

The day could not have been more perfect with the flawlessly blue skies and temperatures that had to have been pushing seventy. A perfect spring day. It was made all the more perfect having the man I loved more than I could have possibly imagined by my side, his fingers intertwined with mine.

Despite all the horror and chaos that had been revealed in the last day and a half or so, I somehow managed to keep all of that pushed out of my mind. I was bound and determined to enjoy the time with Alex that I had. No escaped angel was going to take that from me. Nothing would ever take Alex from me and I was willing to do
anything
to keep him.

I couldn’t help but wonder at exactly how much money Alex had inherited when his grandparents died. Not that it mattered one little bit but the way he constantly tried to buy me things as we wandered from shop to shop and finally down to Pike’s Place Market made me wonder. I had to be careful to limit the time I looked at anything or I would be in danger of having it gifted to me only a few minutes later. I actually felt proud of myself for having come out of our wanderings with only a few items of clothing, a pair of earrings, and a cheap ring that I was sure would turn my finger green in a few hours. Alex had insisted on the last one for some strange reason.

The time was approaching when I needed to head to the restaurant I had told my dad to meet me at. I had been trying to not think of how I was going to explain this to Alex all day and now the time had finally come. I decided to be as honest as I possibly could.

“Do you remember how I said I needed to go to Seattle this morning?” I started as we walked hand in hand up a pier.

Alex nodded as he licked at his ice cream cone. “You did say that. I didn’t want to push you to tell me why if you didn’t want to.”

I gave a little half smile at this. “Um…”I scrambled to know how to word what I needed to say. “My family is in Seattle today. Right now somewhere.”

Alex suddenly paused mid-step and looked at me.

“Really?” he said with surprise evident in his voice.

“Ya,” I said uncomfortably. “I’m supposed to be meeting my dad in twenty minutes to talk.”