Breaking Love Full Hearts 2 (38 page)

As much as she wished that Luc had been able to rise up to be more than he thought he was, it wasn’t going to happen. She would be on her own, like she had been for so long before, and she could handle it.

At night, she dreamed of Luc. In her dreams, he was kneeling in front of the bathtub, bathing a little baby and speaking in French while the baby cooed and smiled up at him. Megan would walk in and watch them for a moment and then leave the room to put Elliott to bed. Each time she returned, the baby was alone in the water, screaming for her, and Luc was gone. She would wake with a start each time and have trouble getting back to sleep.

In last night’s dream, however, Luc had stayed and finished the bath. When she had finished getting Elliott to bed, she found Luc sitting in the tiny nursery, rocking the baby and giving her a bottle. He smiled up at her, his eyes full of that adoration she felt from him.

“You look so beautiful this evening,
mon ange
.”

Megan had woken that morning with a feeling of contentment, although she wasn’t entirely sure why, as she stretched her body across the mattress and sighed happily. Somehow she had a feeling of optimism as she got up, and that feeling was still with her now as she pulled up in front of a large house with a beautifully landscaped garden. She sighed appreciatively as she took in the sight of the house. It had that timeless log-cabin feel, with grey stone and stained wood accents.

She had gotten a call earlier that morning from a realtor named Walter Harris, who wanted professional photos of the home taken as soon as possible. Walter had told her he was in a rush to get the photos done for his new client. The house had been on the market for some time without any luck, so Walter had just been hired to take over the listing.

Taking her camera out of its bag, Megan stepped away from her car and onto the grass to take a few shots of the exterior. Then the front door of the house opened and Megan’s heart jumped into her throat. There in the doorway stood Luc.

“Hello, Megan.” He smiled warily down at her from the covered porch.

Megan stood rooted to the ground, staring up at him. Her mouth hung open for a second before she turned away and hurried across the lawn to her car.

“Megan, please wait!” Luc called, running after her.

“Nope. No. You are
not
here,” she called back as she quickened her step. She opened the car door and scrambled into the driver’s seat, slamming the door behind her. Luc was standing beside the car. She glanced up at him quickly before starting the engine.

“No,” she said firmly, as if her words would cause him to vanish. Throwing the car into reverse, she pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. She took the first curve fast as she sped away, trying to get as much distance from Luc as possible.

A couple of moments later she glanced in the rear-view mirror only to see him catching up in a black car.

“Shit!” she exclaimed. She heard her cell, lying on the passenger seat, begin to ring. Luc’s name was across the screen. She pressed Ignore and kept driving.

Megan stopped at a red light and Luc pulled up next to her, motioning for her to pull over. Megan’s heart raced at the sight of him. Hurt and fear clouded her thinking. Her only concern was that she needed to get away from him immediately. His horrible texts came into her mind. His face was panicked, angry even, as he pulled up next to her.

The light turned green and Megan took off, her tires squealing as she slammed her foot on the gas pedal. She took a right toward the freeway, weaving her way through traffic. She didn’t know where she was going, but she felt an overwhelming need to get away from Luc. Did he really think they could just start over after what he had done? Just because there was a new child coming into the world didn’t mean he would suddenly be father material. Those texts, followed by two months of dead silence, meant it was too little too late for them to make their relationship work.

Luc easily kept up with her, weaving around the cars that separated them now, growing increasingly irritated. She was going to get herself killed if she didn’t calm down. He pursued her through two sets of yellow lights and out onto the freeway that led north toward the mountains. Stepping on the gas, he pulled up beside her, trying to get her to look over.

“Slow down!” he yelled, knowing she couldn’t hear him. They were travelling over ninety miles per hour now.

Megan refused to look at him as she continued. She stared straight ahead in a stubborn show of will. As they neared a sharp curve in the road, her higher-level thinking kicked in, causing her to slow down. She pulled over onto a dirt road off the freeway and stopped, watching in the rear-view mirror as Luc rolled to a stop behind her.

“Asshole,” she muttered to herself, getting out of her car.

Luc had his seat belt off and the car door open before he had even come to a full stop. He slammed the door as he stormed up to her, gesturing furiously.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, driving like that? You’re going to get yourself killed!”

Megan puffed up her chest to meet rage with rage. “Isn’t it obvious? I was
trying
to get away from you, you asshole!”

Luc folded his arms, regaining control of himself. He shouldn’t be yelling at an angry pregnant woman. “Did you forget that I know where you live? Even if you could have outdriven me, I would know where to find you, you silly woman.”

His words did nothing but fuel the flames of her anger. “Silly woman?” Megan shrieked. “Fuck you, you arrogant prick! Don’t you think I realized that on my own?”

“Yes, I suppose that’s why you stopped.”

“Yeah, well, maybe!” Megan’s tone was petulant.

His mouth twitched a little, dangerously close to expressing his amusement, but quickly recovering before he did anything to infuriate her more. He stared at her for a moment, seeing that something was different about her. Her cheeks were fuller, not as defined as they normally were, and she had a lovely glow, even though she was glaring at him. She had never looked more beautiful to him. It was all he could do to stop himself from wrapping his arms around her and raining kisses all over her. The thought of her driving erratically flashed into his mind again.

“You were driving far too fast. You scared me.” His voice was much too reasonable for Megan’s liking. What he hoped would come across as calm struck her as condescending.

“If you were so worried about it, why didn’t you just stop chasing me?” Drawing a quick breath, she continued before he could get a word in. “And you know what? I don’t care if I scared you! It’s none of your fucking business. Now leave me alone!” She spun on her heel to go back to her car.

Luc grabbed her wrist with one hand, holding her in place. “Of course it’s my business. You had my baby in the car with you.”

“What do you care?” she spat out. “You made it really fucking clear that you don’t want anything to do with us! Three’s a crowd and never fails to disappoint, remember?!”

“Let me explain,” he said quietly, as he let go of her wrist and held his palm up in resignation.

Her rage drained out of her body as she stared up into his eyes. Her voice grew quiet as disappointment took over, an all too familiar feeling for her. “I can’t do this, Luc. You’ve proven that you don’t want to have a family, and I’ve finally managed to accept it. Now go away. Just leave us alone so we can get on with our lives without you.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I will not. I didn’t know about the baby until three days ago.”

Megan said nothing but rolled her eyes in disbelief.

“Simone deleted your email. I had no idea.”

“Oh, really? Then what was all that three’s a crowd bullshit?” she shouted.

“I was talking about Ian!” He yelled so she would hear him. Then, taking a deep breath, he lowered his voice. “I saw you with Ian; at least, I assume it was him. I came to your house to try to start over but you were with him. I saw you kissing each other by the kitchen window.”

“What? You saw us? Oh God! Nothing happened. He came for Elliott’s birthday and we talked. He was apologizing and things got very emotional. I think he just kissed me to get me to stop crying. I can’t believe you were there.”

“Well, I was. I wanted to break down the door and kill him with my bare hands, but I just walked away. I thought you must have wanted to start over with him. Ian was the third person I was referring to. Not the baby. I would never be disappointed to find out you were having my baby.”

“You wouldn’t?”

He wrapped his arms around her. “Surprisingly enough, I’m fucking thrilled, actually. Since I left here, I have thought only of you and Elliott. I’ve missed you every day. I have been an absolute nightmare to be around. I just wanted to get back to you. If Simone hadn’t interfered, I would have been here two months ago.”

“That fucking harpy,” Megan muttered under her breath.

“Yes, she is a fucking harpy. And now she’s an unemployed one as well. As soon as she admitted she had deleted your email, I started making plans to get here. I would never have ignored you like that. You know that, right?”

Megan’s voice broke. “Do I?”

“In your heart, you do. And I would never have written those horrible things about our baby. You know I am not so heartless, yes?”

Megan nodded.

Luc broke into a wide grin as a wave of relief rushed over him. She believed him. It was going to be okay. “I’m here now, Megan, and I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere.”

He pulled her to him, hugging her tightly. He could feel her slightly protruding tummy against him and, for the first time, knew the thrill of an expectant father. It took a second for him to realize that her body was stiff. She was completely unresponsive. Pulling back, he looked down at her with concern. “What’s wrong? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“No, Luc. If you want to be part of the baby’s life, we can work it out, but you and I are over. We aren’t in love with each other.”

“What are you talking about? I bought a house. I’m moving here so I can be with you and Elliott and the baby. I can’t imagine what else you would possibly need me to do to prove that I
want
to be here, because as far as I’m concerned, giving up my entire life should be enough.”

Megan stared up at him, her eyes wide. The thought of him giving up his entire life for her was terrifying. If she let him do it, he would grow to resent her someday. Better to send him away now than to try to build something on the shaky foundation of bringing a child into the world, only to have their relationship fail in a few years. Marriage was hard enough if both people wanted it badly, if both people were madly in love. This would never work and she knew it deep down. If they were meant to be together, they would have found their way back to each other
before
they learned about the baby.

Taking a deep breath, Megan prepared herself to do the very last thing she wanted to do. She had to send him away. Her face was expressionless as she spoke. “I never asked you to give up anything, Luc. I never asked you to love me. I don’t want your love and I don’t want you. You’re not in love with me. You’re only here because of the baby. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant, we would never have seen each other again.”

“I’m here because I’m in love with
you
, Megan. I’ve been in love with you since you fell into my arms at the club, and every moment since. The baby is going to be a wonderful adventure for us, but I’m here for you.” He reached his hands up to gently cradle her face. His voice was all but pleading, his eyes full of longing and love.

Megan stared into his dark eyes, wishing she could accept his love but knowing she couldn’t. “It’s a great offer, Luc. Really. You moving here, wanting to take care of us. A lot of women would jump at that in a heartbeat. But I can’t. It would be wrong because I’m just not in love with you. I never have been. It was just sex for me. I’m sorry if you got the impression that it was more.”

Luc shook his head as if to shut out her words; the pain on his face was visible, and his hands gripped her cheeks more tightly than he meant to. “No. No. Don’t say that to me. That’s a lie. You’re just scared. I know you’re in love with me.”

Megan felt a tear streaming down her cheek and onto his finger. “I’m not. I’m sorry, Luc. You were just a warm body. I can’t let you go on believing it was more than it was. We’ll find some way for you to be part of the baby’s life if you really want to, but you and I are never going to happen.”

Reaching up, she pulled his hands off her face. This is what she had to do to protect herself, to protect Elliott and their baby from the trauma of Luc leaving them sometime in the future. It shattered her heart to turn away from him but somehow she willed her feet to move to the car.

Opening the car door, she paused for a second. “I’ll email you the ultrasound pictures. We’ll figure out the rest later. Goodbye, Luc.”

With that she got into her car and made a U-turn back to the freeway.

Luc stood on the dusty road in shock, the pain she had just inflicted on him squeezing his heart with a viselike grip. He had been so sure it would work out this time. He would explain why it had taken him so long to get to Colorado, and she would rush into his arms. He had imagined it over and over in his mind during the last two days and nights. He had planned exactly what he would say and how he would say it. Once she heard him out she would know he had always loved her. They would vow to never let each other go again. He would pick her up and carry her inside to show her their new home. They would spend the afternoon making love and making plans, then go together to pick up Elliott and give him the news. Today they were supposed to become a family, and it would be every ridiculous fairy tale he had laughed at in his entire life.

He slowly walked back to his car, unsure of what to do next. How had his desperation for her become all-consuming? A life with her was everything he had never wanted, but now, as it was slipping through his fingers, he knew it was the only thing he had ever needed. Only Megan could still his restlessness and fill his very soul with all the love and contentment that had been missing in his life.