BreakMeIn (7 page)

The strong tone of Patrick’s voice broke through the haze of
heartbreak. “What?”

“Allison and I just landed and there’s a message from the
sheriff. They had to take Alex to the university hospital after they found him
unresponsive. His neighbor called in to report a bunch of yelling and screaming
coming from the house. We’re on our way there now.”

“I’ll be there.”

She broke every speed limit between Gatlin Falls and
Charlottesville, arriving at the hospital before Patrick and Allison. She’d had
to threaten the nurses to let her in the room since she wasn’t family, but now
she sat fiddling with the clasp on the coat she’d hastily thrown on over her
nightgown.

She hadn’t thought Alex could possibly look worse. But now,
with all the tubes, wires and beeping medical machinery, she knew how wrong
she’d been. A large bandage swathed most of his head, a wide strip of
bright-red blood standing out starkly against the white. Alex needed a lesson
in tough love, but this was taking things to the extreme. If he hadn’t
understood how much harm he was causing himself before, maybe this kind of
incident would drive the point home.

“You are an asshat, Alexander Conners. Do you know that?”
Reaching out with trembling fingers, she took his hand in hers. Heat pricked at
her eyes. She didn’t know if he could hear her, but she had to try. She was
ready to plead with him until she lost her voice.

“I meant everything I said to you at the house. You have
people who love and care for you. People who are hurting because you’re sick.
And you are so, so sick. You need help. You need guidance from people who are
trained to help with this kind of thing. I know you probably think you can
handle this, but you don’t have to. You have family and friends. You have me.
You will always have me. Please come back to me, Alex. Please come back and let
me help you.”

A soft cough from the doorway caused her to turn and grab a
handful of tissues from the box on the side table. She furiously wiped away the
wetness coating her cheeks, dabbed at her runny nose.

“I had no idea it was this bad.”

Knowing it was Patrick made it easier to turn and face him. “It
was only noticeable in the past few weeks. Right around the wedding. Or at
least that’s when I noticed it. At first I thought he was just being social,
but…he kept drinking.”

Patrick clenched his jaw, frowning. “I’d wondered how tough
the whole ceremony was on him. He hid it well. It’s obviously caught up with
him finally. He’s going to have to face it now because I’m not going to let him
skirt the issue. We both fought too hard to pick up the pieces after what
happened with our father. Doctor said it could have been worse.”

“They always say that when they don’t know anything. Where’s
Allison?”

“I dropped her at a hotel to get some rest, long day of
travel. He’s in a coma now. They don’t know how long this amount of alcohol
will take to work out of his system. A few days maybe. It doesn’t help he has a
concussion from the fall when he passed out. All we can do now is wait.”
Patrick stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “How are you? And
don’t try to lay your standard bullshit on me, Elena. We’ve known each other
too long for smoke and mirrors. I heard what you said and thank you.”

“I tried telling him all that last night but he just didn’t
seem to care. If I’d just been more persistent. Forced him to listen to me,
maybe then—”

“This may have been worse. He could have attempted to drive.
Hurt someone else, maybe even killed them. I’m sure you tried, but you and I
both know he’ll only listen when he’s ready.” He gestured to the bed with his
chin. “Maybe this will knock some sense into his thick skull.”

She stared long and hard at Alex’s slight figure. “I don’t
know if this is enough.”

“It needs to be. I need your help though. I need you to
convince him he’s destroying everything he cares about. That he could lose
everything.”

At least one of the Conners had some sense. “Nothing I said
to him is going to make a difference, Patrick. I want it to—I truly do. But
I’ve been through this before and I know…I know what it does to people. Alcohol
ruined one of my families, I don’t know if I can take it happening to another.
I’ve always thought of myself as a strong person, but…”

“With or without your help it’s ultimatum time for him. I’m
not going to give him a choice.”

She rose, discarding her tissues as she wrapped her coat
around her body again. “I’ll pay for his rehab. Whatever the cost, I don’t
care.”

Patrick’s mouth twisted into an annoyed frown that eerily
mirrored the one Alex had given her earlier. “He won’t like you taking such a
step.”

“No, he won’t. I don’t much care.” She skirted the hospital
bed, giving it a wide berth because she very much wanted to touch him again to
reassure herself. “We both know if he keeps traveling down this path, does
something he can’t recover from, he’ll hate himself. I would prefer he hate
me.”

“Elena.”

She held the door casing for support as she stared out of
the room. The distressing image of Alex in the hospital bed wasn’t something
she wanted to look at any longer. It was already burned into her brain. “It
doesn’t matter what you tell him. Make up something if you have to. Just do
whatever you have to do to get him some help.”

Alex Conners stood in the middle of Main Street, studying
the banner hanging in Perfect Shot’s panoramic window. Patrick had chosen well
with the bright colors and bold font to proudly declare the coffeehouse’s two-year
anniversary. No doubt his sister-in-law had something to do with the design and
execution. She certainly had enough geek points to accomplish the task.

Life had certainly gone on in his absence.

A knot of dread sat like a thick, heavy ball in his stomach.
Could he handle this again? One year ago he couldn’t have cared less about some
banner hanging in front of his store. The shop could have gone to hell for all
he cared. He hadn’t been concerned about disappointing his brother. He’d just
done whatever he could to maintain the feeling of numbness so he wouldn’t have
to think about his shortcomings.

However much alcohol was necessary.

A few locals he recognized paused briefly at the shop door,
eyeing him warily. He lifted a hand in greeting, hoping the smile he’d
plastered on his face was enough to convince them he was clean and sober.

Eight months and counting.

Each day was another step on the road to recovery.

The two women smiled in return, but he noticed the doubtful
look they exchanged before disappearing inside. The town gossip mill was going
to get a workout tonight. The alcoholic Conners brother was back. He’d known
this wasn’t going to be easy. He wasn’t convinced he was fit for public
interaction, but his counselor had assured him otherwise. He agreed it was time
to get on with his life again and establish some kind of normal routine that
would fill the void he’d once packed with alcohol.

But damn it all to hell if he could take the few steps he’d
need to make in order to go through Perfect Shot’s doors. Those twelve steps he
was working on now seemed a breeze compared to this.

“Alex!”

Genevieve Lambert, the owner of the Southern Ridge Grill,
swung her bag over her shoulder as she stepped off the curb. “I know Gatlin
Falls is a small town, but stand there long enough and you’re liable to cause a
traffic snarl.” Her hand brushed against his forearm. The musical tones of her
voice didn’t help comfort him. “You all right, sugar? You are as white as a
ghost.”

A bead of sweat trickled down his spine. Doubt thickened his
throat, making speech nearly impossible. He shouldn’t be here. It was too
goddamn soon. He spun on his heel, desperate to get away.

A gentle, soothing hand pressed against his shoulder stopped
him, encouraging him to turn around. “Running won’t help. That demon of yours
is just going to taunt you until you face it down and squash it.”

“I thought I was ready.”

“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. How about one of my strawberry
tarts to give you a little courage?”

“I think I’ve gained thirty pounds since I started rehab.
Food replacement therapy. Exchange one vice for another.”

Her studious gaze gave him the once-over. “You look good,
sugar. Healthy. A well-fed man who keeps himself in shape is an addiction I don’t
mind fueling.” Genevieve reached into her tote and pulled out a large box. “Pick
your poison. One missing tart won’t hurt my pockets.”

A colorful assortment of pastries greeted him as she lifted
the lid. His stomach growled. The gas-station burritos, slushies and Corn Nuts
he’d lived on during his cross-country trek suddenly didn’t seem as appetizing
as they once had. Unable to resist the lure, he lifted out a strawberry tart.
The combination of sweet tartness and the melt-in-your-mouth crust exploded
against his tongue as he bit into the pastry.

It tasted of home.

It reminded him how much he’d missed the town.

“It’s good to see you again, Alex.”

He chewed as he nodded. “It’s nice to be somewhere familiar
again, knowing there are people all around me who know me. Rehab was a really
lonely place. Especially because I managed to burn so many bridges during my descent
into hell. Not as though I had a windfall of visitors.”

Not a single one. Not even Patrick. Sure, there had been a
few emails in the beginning, but those had stopped when Alex had decided to
refuse all contact with the outside world. With the life he once knew. In order
to recover he’d cut all ties. Now he was back to pick up the tattered edges.

“I’m sorry I missed your wedding.”

“Bah, you been to one wedding, you’ve been to them all. Don’t
lose any sleep over it.” She tucked her hands into her black pinstripe chef’s
jacket. “You say rehab was lonely, but I bet it’s scary standing right here in
this spot too.”

“Yeah.” He kicked a rock, watching it skitter across the
street. “I feel like I have to work extra hard now because these people do know
me. They’ve seen me at my worst.”

“People in this town have short memories.”

“It’s only been a year.”

The drops of silver dangling from her ears swung as she
tilted her head. “I’m not saying they’ll forget, but it’s not as though no one
in this town has never been up against adversity. They may have seen you in the
pit of hell, but it’s what you do with your life now.”

He contemplated her wisdom as he finished off the treat
she’d given him. For someone he didn’t talk to a lot, she sure managed to hit
the nail on the head. “As always, your food is delicious.”

She stood, wiping her hands against her pants before
offering a hand to him. “I know just the place you can get something to wash it
down with. Best damn coffee in town. So I hear.”

He hauled in a breath, knowing it was time.

The earthy aroma of freshly brewed coffee washed over him as
he stepped through Perfect Shot’s doors. The sights and sounds of the beloved
coffee shop were pieces of familiarity clicking into place. Nearly all the
tables and sitting areas were full of customers indulging their caffeine
addiction.

A line of six customers stretched away from the counter and
his brother was working furiously to fill those orders. Genevieve squeezed his
shoulder, moving behind the counter to restock the pastry case with her
assorted offerings.

Alex stepped behind the counter as well, nudging Patrick in
the side with his elbow as he tied an apron around his waist. Patrick stared at
him for a few seconds, looking for something. Probably signs he’d drowned his
sorrows in a bottle. Wouldn’t have to worry there. Not anytime soon. Maybe
ever. His stomach wanted to revolt just thinking about the stuff. He was done
with that chapter of his life. The urge may still be something he struggled
with daily, but he’d lost his taste completely.

His younger brother clapped him on the back, pulling him into
a tight hug. More tension Alex had been harboring dripped away, relief flooding
his body. He’d expected Patrick to offer a few stern glares and turn his back.
It was what Alex rightfully deserved after the way he’d acted. But Patrick’s
tight grip on his shoulders said more than words could offer.

Family didn’t need words.

Patrick tossed him a damp rag and after a quick hand wash,
they were off. It wasn’t long before Alex fell into his old pattern, filling
and preparing drinks as they once talked about before his life had turned to
shit. He’d been too lost in his own world to truly enjoy this.

Hours later, Alex dropped into a chair, his entire body
aching. The good kind of ache that came from fulfilling, honest work. He hadn’t
recognized how much he’d missed something so simple until he’d experienced it
again. It felt good to hurt from putting effort into something other than
lifting an assortment of bottles to his mouth.

Patrick dropped into the chair across from him, sighing
deeply as he did. “If this is any indication how the rest of this week is going
to go, we’re in for a wild ride.”

“Sounds as though I came back just in time. Thanks. For
taking care of things while I was gone. I left you in a tight squeeze without
much of an explanation.”

“I’m just glad you’re home. Talked to Mom?”

“No. Not just yet. I may take a drive up there this weekend.
Need to get my head around a few things before I face her. I suspect she’ll
have a few choice words for me.”

“More than a few if the last time I talked to her is any
indication. She misses you. But we all understood your need to just take care
of yourself.”

Repairing his relationship with Patrick had been at the top
of his list, right along with his mother. The three of them had been through so
much, especially after his father had been tossed in jail when his out-of-control
temper had finally gotten the better of him. But there was also someone else at
the top of his list. Someone he wasn’t convinced would even speak to him in the
first place.

Someone he desperately needed to thank.

“I missed a lot of people. Probably more than they missed
me.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure. What are you plans now?”

Alex tapped the arm of the chair with his fist. “I don’t
have any.”

Patrick’s gaze registered surprise. “On purpose?”

“Yeah. One of my twelve steps.” Alex remembered a few
sessions with his counselor, the breakthroughs that had left him feeling hollow
and utterly alone. “Vivian always had my life planned out. Every step. Every
move down to how my underwear was color-coded. I think I just…want to let some
things happen and see where my life takes me. It’s freeing. And scary as hell.”

“Now this is the Alex Conners I know and love. It is really
good to see you again, brother. Why don’t you come home with me? Have dinner
with us so we can all catch up? Allison would love to see you.”

“On one condition.” He set his hand on Patrick’s shoulder as
they stood. “No one treats me any differently. I don’t need to be handled with
kid gloves. I just…need for everything to be normal.”

“Done.”

* * * * *

Elena locked the door of Sanctuary and turned, finding
herself greeted with an eyeful of Conners men. Patrick breezed past her,
brushing a kiss against her cheek as he moved to unlock the door to his loft on
the top floor of the warehouse.

Alex just stared at her in surprise. The memory of the last
time she’d seen him flashed by in a series of slow-motion clips she’d rather
forget. Had spent the past year trying to forget, really. But everything came
back in a rush as if he’d just been lying in the hospital bed yesterday.

“Elena. You look good.”

The strong, confident pitch of Alex’s voice caught her off
guard. She recovered after a few seconds, swallowing slowly. “So do you.”

Gone were the dark circles under his eyes. The gaunt cheeks.
The flat, expressionless eyes. The stature of his form had changed as well. He
stood straight and tall. Proud. There were actually hints of muscle under his
shirt and light jacket. Very tempting muscle. The kind she wanted to lick.

It appeared as though Alex Conners had found himself.

“You really do look good.”

Had he just blushed? Not a good sign for her libido. Despite
the fact she should have been angry with him she already felt the telling sparks
of interest. Odd how he was the only one who could make her feel that way.

“Still have a long way to go, but yeah. I’m a work in
progress. Thanks.” His hair shifted over his eye as he nodded. It was longer
than the last time she’d seen him. She preferred the neat, clean-cut version.
But as long as he was healthy and sober his appearance didn’t matter. Neither
did her preference. Just because she’d paid for his rehab didn’t mean she owned
him.

“Entertaining tonight?”

“No.” She swallowed the lump clogging her throat. “I just
needed to pick up a few things I’d left here. Heading home for the night for a
movie and a glass of wine.”

Crap, maybe mentioning alcohol was off-limits. Dealing with
a recovering alcoholic was new territory for her. She’d only dealt with those
who didn’t want to help themselves. Despite the volatile atmosphere the last
time they’d seen each other she didn’t want to make whatever he was still
dealing with harder.

“Would you like to join us for dinner?”

“Tempting, but I don’t want to bust in on any family
reunions.”

Patrick swept his hand wide in greeting. “Barge all you
like. You always have.”

“Before—”

“Before I was a raging alcoholic, right?”

The biting tone of Alex’s voice made her cringe. So many
things unsaid between them and he probably felt as though she’d abandoned him.
“I think it’s best if I leave now.”

“Wait, Elena.” Alex’s hand shot out. “Wait. I’m sorry. The
comment was uncalled for. I keep feeling as though everyone is walking on
eggshells around me. I’ve been back less than a day and it’s already tiring. If
this is any indication of how I’m going to be treated I may be better off just
leaving again.”

He had every right to be here and doing so showed he was
ready to make great strides in order to deal with his recovery. And she felt
horrible for letting her mouth get the best of her. “You surprised me. So I’m
sorry too. I didn’t mean to snap at you. Just been a long week for me.”

“The offer is still open.”

A white flag she couldn’t accept. She wasn’t prepared for
his return. “An offer I appreciate. But I still have to decline. Give Allison
my best, please, Patrick.”

Elena forced one foot in front of the other until she turned
the corner of the building and was out of eyesight. Alone now, she used the
brick wall of Sanctuary as she began to shake. Her heart pounded painfully
against her rib cage, her lungs burning from lack of oxygen.

Alex
fucking
Conners.

She’d known he’d eventually come back to town, that she
would have to deal with what she’d done face-to-face, but she hadn’t expected
their meeting to happen this way. And she hadn’t expected to feel this out of
sorts by his reappearance. What in the hell was wrong with her? She never let a
man get the best of her so she felt like some flustered schoolgirl. Gathering
her composure, she riffled through her bag to find her keys. Just as she pulled
them out she was confronted with the unexpected again.